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“Ransom.”
“Ransom. Hey. ”
“Ransom. Touch the butt.”
“Touch it.”
“Touch it, Ransom.”
“Shut up. I’m not going to touch the butt,” Ransom muttered from his desk where he was hunched over his textbook, trying desperately to concentrate.
“What?” Asked Holster as he looked up from across the room, shoving his homework into his bag.
Ransom winced before turning to his best friend. “Um…I didn’t say anything?” He tried unconvincingly.
“Okay then…” Holster shook his head. “I’m heading out. I should be back from class around three if you wanted to marathon-”
“Yeah! Yes. Sure, man.” Ransom shrugged, going for nonchalance and failing.
“Okay… see you? Later…I guess…”Holster trailed off as he turned and left the room. It’s not unusual for Ransom to be more stressed during October (a combination of midterms and fear of extra hauntings), but he’d been particularly weird this year.
Ransom slumped in relief as Holster shut the door, then turned to face Mandy, one of two resident ghosts, who was hovering on the top bunk. “You guys…” He starts before pausing and shaking his head. “You’re both way too interested in my love life.”
“We’re ghosts, babe,” Mandy said with a shrug.
Jenny, the Haus’ second ghost, chipped in from atop the dresser. “Forever doomed to haunt a Haus filled with the flyest hockey butt-“
“Knowing we can only look-“
“And never touch.” Jenny finished, reaching one hand out and giving a firm squeeze to an imagined butt.
“You two need to work out your sexual frustration on your own time,” Ransom grumbled before turning back to his homework.
“As deprived as we might be, we’ve got nothing on you Ransy-poo,” Mandy teased as she shifted to float near Ransom’s left shoulder.
“True,” Jenny added as she appeared at Ransom’s right.
“I’m doing fine, thank you.”
“But you’re really not, is the thing.” Ransom frowned at Mandy.
“Ransom if you died tomorrow-“
Ransom jumped and pointed a finger at Jenny. “I am not going to die tomorrow.”
“Probs, “Jenny shrugged, “But if you did, how would you feel knowing that you spent years in such close proximity to that rockin’ bod and did nothing?”
“Pretty good. You know, seeing as I won’t have groped my best friend?”
“He wants you to touch it,” Mandy supplied.
“No he doesn’t. You’re just trying to live vicariously.”
“Well, yes-“ Jenny started.
“And no,” Mandy finished.
“We’ve become pretty invested in you,” admitted Jenny as she gently bumped a fist into his shoulder. That was actually pretty sweet. Maybe he shouldn’t have spent his first two years in the Haus screaming whenever they tried to contact him.
“Guys-” But Ransom was cut off before he could begin. Holster burst through the door, eyes darting from side to side.
“Okay, dude. I know you’re doing to say you weren’t talking to anyone, but I heard you. And you’re my best friend, so I don’t understand why you can’t tell me what’s making you so stressed out. it’s stressing me out and if this keeps up, I don’t know how we’re going to get through Coral Reef Mode,” Holster paused for a breath but lost his steam in the process. “Rans, you know you can’t tell me if something’s wrong, yeah?”
Ransom didn’t answer right away. He was about to come up with some excuse when he hears the girls say, “Rans, trust us.” He takes a breath.
“I wasn’t talking to anyone, Holtzy. I promise. I was just trying to psych myself up.”
“For what?”
“For this.” He stands and walks until he’s maybe six inches away from Holster. “Adam Holster, may I touch your butt?” Holster looked confused, but nodded after a moment. While maintaining eye contact, Ransom slowly reached out and placed one hand on Holster’s right butt cheek.
Ransom hesitantly broke eye contact and looked at his shoes. The hand stayed in place. “Holtzy, I’ve wanted to touch your butt for a while now.”
“Rans. You touched my heart way before you touched my butt.”
Ransom’s eyes shot back up to Holster’s face. He was serious. Overwhelmed, Ransom took a step closer to Holster and hugged him around the middle, burying his nose into Holster’s shoulder. Holster returned the embrace and rested his cheek against Ransom’s head.
Ransom heard one last things as he fell asleep that night, snug tight against Holster’s chest: Mandy and Jenny’s singsongy voices whispering.
“He did it.”
“He touched the butt.”