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Sam sighed and leaned back in her chair, staring up at the clock on the wall of her lab. Nope. There was no way she was getting any further this round.
She had lost count after about a hundred runs through these never-ending time loops. She knew, just by looking at the time, that she had maybe fifteen minutes left before she was once again sitting in that debriefing room, desperately trying to convince everyone they were repeating the same day over and over again. And again.
She pushed herself to her feet and shoved her books aside with more force than strictly necessary. Pages rustled in protest as one of Daniel’s carefully organized translations slid halfway off the desk. She caught it automatically before it hit the floor. Even this frustrated, she couldn’t bring herself to mistreat Daniel’s work.
She ran a hand over her face. She felt exhausted. She, in-house genius astrophysicist who had solved problems halfway across the galaxy, could not get this thing solved.
She and Daniel had tried translating parts of the ancient text they had found on the planet. She had tried again and again, hoping one of the earlier versions would stick in her memory long enough to make progress. But having to start over every time made it nearly impossible to keep track of what they had already tested.
And worst of all, she was alone in this. None of her team-mates remembered anything, as soon as the reset happened she had to convince all of them all over again. Daniel was sweet and helped when he could, but since he forgot every loop it was like listening to a broken record when she had to explain it all over again.
A few times she had tried venting to Janet. Janet was the one person she always trusted when things got overwhelming. But even Janet had been stubbornly, professionally skeptical, shining that goddamn light into Sam’s eyes and running neurological tests while giving her that look that meant I’m worried about you.
Frustrated, Sam left her lab and started wandering the halls, hands shoved into her pockets. There was no point starting anything new now. The reset would come soon anyway.
“Hey, Carter!”
She froze. Jack’s voice carried easily down the corridor as he jogged up behind her.
“Sir,” she acknowledged, turning to face him.
He slowed to a stop beside her.
“I was thinking,” he said, tone deceptively casual, “if you really are stuck in these loops like you keep telling us… have you ever been tempted to go completely crazy and do something totally out of character?”
Sam blinked. “Uh… no, sir,” she said slowly. “I have not.”
Jack stared at her like she had just confessed to never eating cake.
“Why not?”
“Because,” she said, frowning slightly, “I have a problem to solve, I need to keep focused on that.”
Jack waved a dismissive hand.
“Yeah, yeah, science, saving the day, all that. But think about it.” He leaned slightly closer, lowering his voice conspiratorially. “No consequences, Carter. None. Whatever you do, it resets. Clean slate.”
Sam tilted her head, considering. He had a point. Not a particularly responsible point, but still a point. She hadn’t thought about it like that before.
Jack grinned suddenly, clearly warming to his own idea.
“Personally? First thing I’d do? Resign. Loudly. Dramatically. Maybe throw a chair.” He paused thoughtfully. “Actually, definitely throw a chair.”
Sam huffed out a reluctant breath of amusement.
“Sir…”
“Oh, come on,” he continued, gesturing animatedly now. “You’re telling me you’ve never wanted to try something completely ridiculous? Something you’d normally never do?”
Sam opened her mouth to respond but before she got to it the familiar white light flared across her vision.
***
Sam inhaled sharply as time snapped back into place. The debriefing room. Again. But this time, instead of launching immediately into her usual explanation, she hesitated. Jack’s words echoed in her mind. No consequences.
She leaned back slightly in her chair, arms folding loosely across her chest. No consequences… She frowned thoughtfully. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try a thing or two while stuck here. Just to see what happened. It wasn’t like she was going to solve the loop this round either. And maybe a small break from relentless problem-solving would keep her from completely losing her mind.
***
Now, Sam Carter had never really been a person for pranks or crazy antics. She would not be throwing any chairs or resigning. She liked playing by the rules too much. Structure made sense. Predictability made sense. Chaos did not.
However, she did like experiments. And experiments, by definition, required testing theories. She did have a lot of different research she wanted to get done relating to the properties of Naquadah. So when she found herself stuck in yet another loop, faced with the same failed translations, and the same dead ends, she decided to shift her approach. And take some … scientific breaks. Experimentation breaks.
At first, her experiments stayed pretty safely inside the lab. She tested unstable reactions she would never normally risk. For example, she adjusted power thresholds she would never authorize outside controlled simulations. She also re-ran theoretical calculations in ways that would have made the safety committee faint. It gave her very interesting results that she tried to remember so she could write them down later, when the notes wouldn’t disappear. So she felt like her research was actually progressing. She had fun, in between the tedious task of living through the same day over and over again and trying to solve that issue.
The further she got into her testing the more risks she was willing to take. No consequences and all, she realized how freeing it was. This did, however, lead to quite a few explosions. Smaller ones, thankfully, but still, explosions. Which in turn ultimately meant she found herself diving behind a console as sparks rained down from overloaded circuits. And more than not, she ended up in the infirmary. Which, she realized quickly, came with an unexpected benefit. Extra time with her best friend doctor, Janet Fraiser, which was actually really pleasant when she wasn’t shining the pen-light in her eye or being concerned about her mental health.
“Sam, if you keep taking crazy risks like this, I will recommend mandatory downtime,” Janet warned, carefully stitching up a laceration on Sam’s forearm.
Sam winced slightly, not entirely from pain.
“I’m fine,” she insisted automatically.
Janet raised an eyebrow. “You are covered in burns and soot.”
Sam glanced down at herself. Janet made a fair point. But still, being patched up by the doctor had an unexpected side effect. It allowed Sam to notice, really notice, just how long she had been quietly, stubbornly hung up on Janet Fraiser. It made her realize how much Janet actually meant to her, which was much more than just as a friend. She meant… everything. But risking that friendship had always felt too dangerous. Besides, Sam felt pretty certain Janet didn't feel the same way, she had never seen any indication of that being the case. But now, when she sat there in the bed in the infirmary and thought about what a gift this no consequences might be.
She decided it was time for a new experiment.
***
Sam had not planned on her Naquadah generator to spontaneously combust, but she had planned on starting her secondary set of experiments the next time an accident led her to the infirmary. Which is where she was now, with a burnt hand. She sat on one of the beds and watched Janet work, enjoying watching the doctor in her element. Sam found herself thinking how pretty Janet was, how her hair was always falling into her eyes, her brown eyes focused on the task, her soft hands gently making sure Sam’s burn was covered completely.
Janet put down the gauze she had wrapped around Sam’s hand and started filling out some notes on the clipboard. The infirmary was quiet. No one else was in right now.
"Can I tell you something?" Sam said. She had planned what she wanted to say, rehearsed it several times, but despite that, she felt her heart racing. Was this ethical? Toying with emotions like this? She pushed her doubt aside for now, she genuinely thought this would lead no where anyway, and really needed to know. Just to put her own mind at ease.
Janet glanced up. "That's rarely a good opener in my experience."
"It's not bad," Sam said. "It's just…" She stopped. Started again. "I don't think I say it enough. How much I, " She frowned slightly, wanting to make sure what she said came out right, "What you do for me. For all of us. You just… you show up. Every time. Whatever state we come back in, whatever happened out there, you're just … there."
Janet had gone still as if showing she was paying complete attention. Looking Sam in her eyes with gentle care shining through them.
"It's my job," she said. Carefully, seeming uncertain about where the conversation was heading.
"I know," Sam said. "But it's not the job part, that isn't what I mean." She looked at Janet directly. Held her eyes in hers, "I mean that when things go wrong out there, you're the first person I think about, you specifically."
The infirmary was very quiet.
Janet looked at her across the small space between them. She didn't look away and neither did Sam and for a moment they both felt like they never wanted to look away.
"Sam," Janet said softly.
"I just wanted you to know," Sam said. Still holding it. "That it matters. That you matter."
A pause.
Something moved across Janet's expression. Sam hadn’t seen it before, she couldn’t describe it but she knew she wanted to make it appear again.
"You matter to me too," Janet said. It came out quieter than she seemed to intend. Like it had slipped past something.
Neither of them looked away for another long moment
Then Janet finished what she was doing and picked up at her chart taking a deep breath.
"You're cleared," Janet said. Her voice was steady but there was something in it. Something she wasn't managing.
"Thank you," Sam said. The room went white and she was back in the debriefing room, confused. That had not gone as expected, Janet had responded a lot more heartfelt than Sam had thought she would. She needed to try something else. Maybe her theory of this being one-sided was wrong? She needed to know more.
***
It was harder this time because Sam didn’t have a plan, she had a few things she wanted to try but no rehearsed plan as last time. But that didn't matter now because it seemed like this round wasn't going to lead anywhere anyway. Sam and Janet were not alone in the infirmary this time. Nurse Williams was there too. And she had been there for ten minutes trying to get Janet to agree to a blind date with her brother. Sam had come in eager to see where this round could lead, but right now it felt like Nurse Williams was going to turn this round into a dud.
"He's really very nice," Williams was saying, following Janet around the infirmary determination. "He's a doctor too, actually. Well. A dentist. Which is basically, " Williams did not get to finish her sentence.
"A completely different thing," Janet said, not looking up from her inventory.
"He has a very good personality."
"You've said that six times, Williams."
"Because it's very true." Williams appealed to Sam as if looking for backup. "Don't you think Janet should put herself out there?"
Sam, who quickly realized that this might actually work out, made use of what felt like a moment of excellent timing and said: "Absolutely." Maybe not a dud, maybe a different type of opportunity. She thought.
Janet looked at her with irritation in her eyes.
"See!" Williams said.
"I just mean," Sam said, in a tone of great innocence, "that Janet clearly has a lot to offer. Anyone would be lucky to date here." She paused. "What's your brother like?"
This was, she recognized, either very clever or completely insane.
"Oh he's wonderful," Williams said, warming immediately. "He's tall, he's got great hair, funny…" Williams continued listing her brother’s qualities.
"That all sounds great, but the question is, is he Janet's type?" Sam asked, interrupting Williams.
Williams paused. "Well, what is Janet’s type? "
The question settled over the room.
Williams opened her mouth and then looked at Janet with slight uncertainty.
Janet had stopped pretending to do inventory. She was looking at Sam with amused exasperation.
"That's a good question," Janet said.
"I thought so," Sam said, smirking at her friend.
"You think you’re being clever, Major," Janet said, setting her clipboard down with the air of having decided to challenge Sam to a duel. As if saying: two can play at this game.
Sam swallowed and felt the water rise above her head.
”You claim to know me pretty well Sam, what do you think is my type?” Janet said, piercing her eyes in Sam’s.
”Uhm, well,” Sam felt how the gusto of before deflated her. ”I, uh, actually don’t know your type,” she admitted and felt her cheeks flush.
”Well, how about preferences as to height or uhm, hair color?” Williams asked trying to get the conversation back to where it had been.
Sam felt Janet’s eyes on her until finally Janet spoke.
”It’s not really about any of those things is it?” She started, ”it’s the smaller things, the way they take on challenges, find glee in the most mundane or boring thing and somehow manage to engage others in it. Or perhaps how they care deeply and profoundly while still being level-headed and always present even during the most crazy of situations…” Janet said.
Sam felt lost for words. That was not what she had expected Janet’s ”type” to be.
”But what about height, or uh, style, you must have some preference? Williams kept insisting.
Sam felt lost in the conversation.
Janet seemed to consider Williams' question with genuine thought, which was somehow more unsettling than deflection would have been. "Height, I don't think." She tilted her head slightly. "I think it's more about how someone carries themselves. Whether they take up space like they're apologizing for it or like they're just, " She paused. "There. Present."
"That's lovely," Williams said warmly. "My brother is always very attentive, he-"
"What about eye color?" Sam said having found words somewhere as the mood seemed to lighten in the room again. She had committed to this. "Eye color. Is that ever a thing? Some people have a preference."
"Some people," Janet said.
"Statistically."
"You're arguing about my personal preference and it's statistical likelihood," Janet said.
"It's a legitimate- " Sam started saying.
Janet looked at her. Not at her clipboard. Not at Williams. At Sam, with an expression that was calm and warm and completely unreadable.
"I think," Janet said carefully, "that when I find someone genuinely attractive I stop noticing individual features." She held Sam's gaze. "I just notice them. All at once. And then I keep noticing them." A pause. "Whether I'm supposed to or not."
The infirmary was very quiet. Williams said, into the silence: "My brother has very nice eyes actually. They're-"
"I'm sure they are," Janet said pleasantly, still looking at Sam.
Then she looked back down.
"So," Williams said, with renewed optimism. "Should I give him your number or?"
"No thank you, Williams," Janet said.
"Are you sure? Because-"
"Very," said Janet clearly but not rudely.
Williams deflated slightly. She looked at Sam as if hoping for support again. Sam was not available for support, she had nothing left to say. Janet's words running through her head - "i keep noticing them whether I'm supposed to or not." Supposed to.
Williams left and the infirmary settled back into quiet. Sam watched Janet write notes on her clipboard.
Janet finished her note and clicked her pen and picked up the chart and then paused. Just for a moment. Like she was deciding something.
"For what it's worth," Janet said, not quite looking at her, her eyes somewhere in the middle distance between Sam and the chart in her hands. "I've always had a thing for blue."
She said it quietly. Lightly. Like it was nothing.
Then she walked away.
Sam sat in the empty infirmary.
Blue.
She thought about that for a long time once she was back in the debriefing room. Wondering where to go from here.
***
A few rounds later, after taking it slowly and trying to just find a way out of these loops. Sam had a new idea, she wanted to test something different, it was still an ongoing experiment after all. And she didn’t feel completely done yet. So she returned to the infirmary with another burn on her hand, pointing to it slightly longer than necessary while Janet examined it. It caused their fingers to brush.
Sam noticed how Janet’s breath hitched at the touch. This was what she wanted to test. Physical touch was a new, different variable that she had yet to test. Something she herself often thought about, had to fight herself from doing. But not today, or this round of today. Today she wanted to be brave and see where this could lead.
“Thank you again for helping me,” Sam said quietly as she looked at Janet’s hands dutifully putting cream on the burn.
“It’s my job.” She said her common tagline while looking into Sam’s eyes.
Then Janet reached up to push her hair back and it fell forward again almost immediately, and Sam reached over, seeing an opportunity and tucked it back herself, fingers brushing lightly against Janet's jaw.
Janet went absolutely still.
Sam's hand dropped back to her lap. Her heart was going at an entirely unjustifiable rate. This was scarier that she thought, but so nice.
"Sorry," Sam said. "I —"
"It's fine," Janet said. Her voice was a little uneven. She was very focused on the burn. "Thank you."
They sat in silence for a moment.
Sam was no longer thinking about variables. She was thinking about how soft Janet’s skin was. How Janet had not seemed to mind and hadn’t seemed scared or appalled. Just maybe, nervous?
***
A few more attempts later, Sam had become really good at making Janet blush and it made her extensively happy whenever she found something new that seemed to fuel her new theory. That Janet might actually like her back.
So far Sam had, aside from brushing Janet’s cheek, found that holding eye contact longer than socially necessary was one of her favorite things to do. She found herself falling even more for Janet every time she got herself lost in her warm brown eyes.
Of course each reset erased Janet’s memory. But Sam obviously remembered everything. Every soft smile or startled breath. And with every loop, her confidence grew along with a hope that her feelings weren’t as one sided as she had feared. It did also grow a slight hint of guilt in her. That she was performing an experiment on Janet didn’t always sit right.
She hadn't manipulated Janet. She knew that. Every loop Janet had responded freely, without pressure, without knowing she was part of anything. But Sam had held all the information and Janet had held none of it, and there was something in that imbalance that sat uneasily with her no matter how she tried to frame it.
However, before she felt confident enough to possibly risk the most important friendship she had, she had to know for real. Because she knew that if Janet felt the same then Sam could explain it to her and it would all be fine. And if she didn’t, then she never had to know. Sam could live with that burden. Maybe.
She also knew that there was a time, probably quite soon, when the loops were going to end. She was getting closer every day to solving the problem. Her latest translations and visits to the planet where it all started showed promise. Real promise.
But before she knew for sure, she had one last thing she wanted to try. Just to be sure. But before that happened and consequences actually mattered again, she had to know if she was just imagining things. Or if her suspicions were true and that actually Janet felt it too.
Which led her to this moment. She had made a pact with herself, she was going to do one last experiment. A highly personal and risky one. An actually truly terrifying one.
So there she stood in the corridor, heart beating faster than logic could justify. She knew exactly where Janet would come from and when she would be there. So now she stood there, waiting.
Sam took a steadying breath. Any second now. Her pulse beat loudly in her ears, each thud sharp and insistent. She flexed her fingers once at her sides, grounding herself.
Right on schedule, Janet turned the corner. Her white coat swaying behind her. Her focused expression softened the moment her eyes landed on Sam.
“Sam?” Janet said, surprise flickering across her features. “What are you doing standing in the middle of the hallway?”
Sam swallowed, it was now or never and before she could second-guess herself she stepped forward and reached out to catch Janet’s hand.
Janet blinked, startled as Sam gently pulled her closer.
Close enough that Sam could see the faint blush on Janet’s cheeks. Close enough to feel the warmth of her body through the thin fabric of her uniform.
“Sam,” Janet said softly, confusion threading through her voice. “What are you doing?”
Sam hesitated for a moment, long enough to give Janet time to pull away. It felt important to prove to herself that this wasn’t force. That she gave Janet time to pull back. And then Sam felt Janet’s fingers tightening around hers.
“This,” Sam murmured. Her voice came out quieter than she had expected. She lifted her free hand slowly, again giving Janet every chance to stop her. She gently brushed her fingers along Janet’s jaw.
Janet inhaled sharply, her eyes widening. But she didn’t move away. Sam saw how her lips parted slightly. And that was all the permission Sam needed and she leaned in slowly.
Her heart pounded harder with every inch of closing distance. She could feel Janet’s breath against her lips now, warm and unsteady.
Janet tilted her head just slightly.
Then finally their lips touched. It was soft and careful. Sam felt Janet tense at first, uncertainty flickering through the contact.
But then she felt Janet relax, her lips responding to Sam’s and what had started as hesitation deepened into something warmer, something deliberate.
Sam exhaled softly against Janet’s mouth, relief flooding through her chest. She wasn’t imagining it. She hadn’t misread. Janet was kissing her back.
The kiss deepened slowly and Janet’s hand rose, fingers sliding into Sam’s hair at the back of her head. The gentle pressure drew her closer, grounding her, anchoring her in the moment.
Sam responded instinctively, her hands settling at Janet’s waist, pulling her just slightly nearer. Close enough to feel Janet’s breathing through the layers of fabric between them and everything else faded away.
For a few perfect seconds there was only Janet.
Eventually, they parted, needing air to fill their heads again. Both of them were breathing a little harder than before. Sam kept her forehead lightly pressed to Janet’s, unwilling to break contact too quickly. Afraid that if she stepped back too fast, the moment might shatter.
“Huh…” Janet began softly. She paused, clearly searching for the right word.
Sam swallowed, nerves suddenly flooding back in full force.
“Surprising” Janet said finally. Her voice carried a note of quiet wonder.
Sam huffed out a nervous breath.
“Good surprising or bad?” she asked, unable to hide the uncertainty creeping into her tone. For a split second, silence stretched between them and Sam braced herself for the possibility of disappointment. But then she saw a smile growing on Janet’s face.
“Definitely good,” Janet said.
Relief crashed through Sam so suddenly it nearly made her dizzy.
Before she could respond, Janet reached up, curled her fingers into Sam’s collar, and pulled her back down. The second kiss came easier. Sam allowed herself to believe this might actually be real.
Then the familiar white light flared across her vision.
***
Sam inhaled sharply as the world snapped back into place. She was again back in the debriefing room. It had all been reset, but her lips still tingled faintly with the memory of something that technically never happened. She lifted her hand unconsciously, brushing her fingertips lightly against her mouth.
Then she saw her team mates look at her funny, so she took a deep breath and focused on what was most important to her now. Ending these loops once and for all, so she could finally get on with real life.
***
Then finally, in the end Sam Carter sat in the infirmary, and it was a new day. A real new day. She had finally solved it and she was back in moving through time just like everyone else. She still felt slightly off-balance, it felt weird walking through a day and not knowing what was going to happen. But it also felt refreshing, she felt hopeful.
Sam leaned back slightly on the infirmary bed, watching Janet move efficiently through the standard pre-mission exam procedures. Watching Janet work, checking readings, adjusting instruments, moving with practiced confidence, felt assuring in a way she hadn’t expected. Although her thoughts could not help bringing her back to that kiss in the hallway. It left Sam wanting more, and for it to be real. Sitting there she almost felt like she had been cheating in life, doing all these tests. In the end she was reassured that Janet would probably actually respond well to any action Sam took. But she felt a bit bad, like she had used her friend and she needed to rectify that.
She was enjoying looking at the beautiful doctor working, though. Her soft hands checking her temperature and pulse. How the auburn hair kept falling into her face despite the neat bun Janet had tried to put it into. Her fingers ached to move those curls away from her eyes and she found herself smiling without meaning to.
Janet finished jotting something down before looping her stethoscope around her neck.
“Well,” she said briskly, glancing up. “You’re all set.”
Sam nodded absently, still smiling.
Janet paused and studied her. Head tilting slightly. Sam recognized the look, it was the one that meant Janet Fraiser had noticed something. And wasn’t about to ignore it.
“I do have one question before I let you go,” Janet added slowly.
Sam straightened slightly, ready for whatever was coming.
“What’s gotten you smiling so brightly today, Major?”
Sam blinked. “What do you mean?” she asked, attempting innocence. It worked poorly.
Janet crossed her arms loosely, suspicion flickering across her face.
“You are practically beaming at me,” Janet said. “And I just wonder what could have happened to make you this happy. Do I have something on my face?”
Sam swallowed, now was her chance. “Okay,” Sam said slowly. “I’ll make you a deal.”
Janet narrowed her eyes slightly. “I’m listening.”
Sam drew in a quiet breath. “I’ll tell you exactly what’s got me smiling like this…” she began carefully, “…if you go on a date with me.”
The words hung in the air between them.
Janet blinked, eyebrows shooting up. “A date?” she repeated faintly. “You want to take me on a date, a real date?”
Sam held her gaze and nodded, “yes,” she said simply. Her voice stayed steady, but inside, her pulse thundered in her ears.
Janet stared at her for several long seconds. It was totally silent around them. Sam resisted the urge to fidget. Resisted the urge to laugh it off as a joke. This wasn’t a joke. This was the bravest thing she had done in probably her entire life.
“Oh,” Janet said finally. “Well,” she repeated, voice gentler now. “Okay.”
Sam blinked, “okay?” she echoed, not sure if she had heard the word correctly.
Janet nodded once.
“Yes, I actually think I’d love that,” she said after a moment, “I’m free on Friday.”
Relief flooded through Sam so quickly it left her lightheaded.
“Good,” Sam said, unable to hide the grin spreading across her face. “Friday then.”
She slid off the infirmary bed, boots hitting the floor with a soft thud. For a moment, they simply stood there. Facing each other. Then Janet tilted her head slightly, studying Sam’s face again.
“But remember, what you promised me,” she said as she stepped closer, just half a step, but close enough that Sam could see curiosity flickering in her eyes.
“Because I don’t know why,” Janet continued slowly, “but I have this strange feeling…” She paused, frowning slightly. “…like I missed something important.”
Sam smiled softly. “I promise I’ll tell you,” she said.
Then Sam leaned forward and pressed a quick soft kiss to Janet's cheek. Close to the corner of her mouth. Not quite daring the whole thing yet.
Janet went still. Then she turned her head and looked at Sam with an expression that was equal parts startled and delighted.
Sam pulled back just as quickly, stepping away before Janet could fully process what had happened.
“Friday,” Sam repeated, smiling brightly now. Then she turned and headed toward the infirmary doors. Leaving Janet standing there, obviously speechless but very clearly smiling, her hand placed on her cheek, right where Sam had just kissed her.
Friday could not come soon enough.