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Woonhak is a liar, a big one, the worst kind. The kind who knows he’s lying and does nothing about it. That, in fact, had never really bothered him much before. He lied to his mom when she asked how he was doing, lied to his classmates when they asked if he had studied for a test, and lied to himself most of all, but nothing too serious, nothing really bad.
But there was a line he refused to cross, lying to the person he loved the most, Jaehyun. A line he never crossed except for that one time, three years ago, back when they were nothing more than strangers.
Jaehyun had been a friend of a friend. They had just met, it slipped, it happens, he told himself.
But over the years, as they became friends, then close friends, and finally boyfriends, the lie grew so much that it felt like an uninvited guest in their shared apartment. Jaehyun couldn’t see it, but it was there. Unwelcome. Threatening. Following him wherever he went.
But tonight was the end of it. After weeks of going over it again and again, Woonhak decided to tell the truth. It was only fair that he was honest with the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was about to ruin everything.
He regretted those four stupid words he had said all those years ago, words that were now a constant throb at the back of his mind. A migraine, certainly caused by his incessant overthinking and definitely not by the fact that he’d barely had any water that day or the lack of sleep the night before.
He had spent the entire night awake, Jaehyun’s head resting on his chest, usually a comforting, welcome weight. But not that night. That night, all he could feel was guilt. It was unfair that someone like Jaehyun had ended up with someone like him.
Jaehyun had gotten home about an hour ago. He had walked into the room, pressed a quick kiss to Woonhak’s lips, then disappeared into the shower, all while Woonhak stood there, mentally preparing himself for what was about to come.
Now he was sitting on the bed, staring at the bathroom door for the past ten minutes, rehearsing the same lines over and over again, certain that the moment he looked Jaehyun in the eyes, everything would disappear.
He was replaying the sixth version of his “I’m sorry” when he heard the click of the lock.
The bathroom door opened.
Jaehyun stepped out, dressed only in sweatpants, a towel in hand as he lazily dried his damp hair. A few droplets of water ran down his chest.
That alone was enough to make Woonhak stumble in his thoughts, his carefully rehearsed words slipping away.
“Woonhak-ah, you’re staring,” he said with a smirk, his face still flushed from the heat of the shower.
“I— I actually wanted to talk to you about something. Do you… have time?” His brain had finally managed to form a coherent sentence, and it still came out awkward, too robotic.
Jaehyun turned away to grab a shirt, giving Woonhak a full view of his back.
For a second, Woonhak wondered if this was really the right time to have this conversation. He could think of way more fun things they could be doing instead. But he shook his head, forcing his thoughts back into place.
He couldn’t keep doing this. It had to be now.
“I always have time for you, babe. What’s wrong?” Jaehyun asked, his tone showing no sign of worry.
He put on a simple white t-shirt and turned back to him, offering a small nod, encouraging him to continue.
“It’s nothing really bad, I just…” He took a deep breath before continuing, “I lied to you.” He admitted it, heat rushing to his face as he watched Jaehyun’s expression slowly shift from soft to confused.
“I lied to you and I feel like shit. I wish I hadn’t let it go this far, and now it’s so embarrassing. I just— I didn’t know how to explain it without sounding ridiculous.” He blurted out words, rushed and barely controlled. He felt the familiar tightness forming in his throat.
“Woonhak-ah, you’re making me nervous. You know you can tell me anything.”
Jaehyun finally sat down on the bed, forcing Woonhak to meet his eyes.
He had to say it. Five words were all it took.
“I’m not allergic to fish.” He finally confessed it. His gaze dropped immediately to the wrinkled sheets beneath him, because he couldn’t bear to look at Jaehyun.
The silence that followed was short, but he felt every second of it.
Then—
A soft huff, almost a laugh.
“You can’t be serious.”
Woonhak looked up, bracing himself for disappointment, for rejection, but Jaehyun looked… amused.
“I am so so serious, hyung. I barely slept last night thinking about it. I felt like the worst boyfriend ever.” He said urgently. He wanted—needed Jaehyun to understand that he was punishing himself for it. He wasn’t having it easy.
Something seemed to click.
“…Then why didn’t you tell me earlier?” The tone wasn’t harsh, it was gentle, almost too gentle, which made everything even worse.
“Because I didn’t know how to,” he admitted quickly. “I know I should’ve told you sooner, but I kept it going for three years and it’s just so stupid and who even lies about something like that?” he insisted, covering his face with his hands, which did little to muffle his frantic voice.
He remembered all the times Jaehyun went out of his way to make sure Woonhak didn’t eat fish, or thoroughly washed his hands after helping Leehan with his aquarium, even after Woonhak said the chances a Corydora could kill him were close to zero. He could’ve avoided all of that if he wasn’t such a coward.
“Well…why did you lie in the first place?”
“I— I was really nervous when we first met. You asked if I wanted some fish, and I said I couldn’t have it instead of saying I didn’t want it. Then you asked if I was allergic, and I was too embarrassed to correct you…so I just went along with it.” He let out a frustrated breath.
“And now it’s gotten to the point where we can’t even go out for sushi with our friends because they think I’ll have an allergic reaction and die and—”
“You’re so cute,” Jaehyun interrupted with a soft laugh.
“What?” Woonhak blinked, looking up. “Are you seriously laughing right now?” He frowned, completely thrown off.
“What reaction do you want me to have when you’re being this ridiculous?” Jaehyun said, cupping his face gently. “My silly baby.”
Woonhak was confused as to why he was being pampered and not punished, not that he had expected Jaehyun to actually punish him, but he expected some sort of negative reaction. Maybe compulsively lying wasn’t a sin and he had died and gone to heaven instead.
“Wait— aren’t you mad?” He asked dumbly. It had just clicked that Jaehyun’s reaction was genuine and not a sick trick played by his brain to make him feel less guilty.
“Babe, why would I be mad over something like this?” he said simply. “Yeah, I wish you’d told me sooner. But you told me now. That’s what matters.”
Jaehyun’s calm demeanor seemed to have an effect on Woonhak, who was suddenly too self-aware of how foolish he must’ve been sounding.
Jaehyun’s hands slipped down to intertwine their fingers.
“I’d be upset if you were cheating on me or hiding something important,” he added. “Which isn’t happening, right?” Jaehyun asked, more an affirmation rather than a question, but Woonhak answered quickly.
“Of course not,” he felt almost offended by the implication.
“Then there’s nothing to worry about.”
Jaehyun leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. Relief instantly flooded through him. All the dread and anxiety built up were finally settling into just a slightly uncomfortable tightness in his chest.
But then, Jaehyun’s smile shifted into a grin.
And he burst out laughing.
“Sanghyeok is going to find this hilarious. I can’t wait to tell him.”
“Hyung, no, please don’t,” he groaned.
The thought of someone else knowing about this, especially Sanghyeok, was humiliating. He only hoped that he could keep this a secret until they were all in their fifties and this would be just a funny story. But he knew Jaehyun couldn’t keep his mouth shut, so it was highly unlikely that he could keep it a secret for that long.
“Okay, okay, I won’t,” he said between laughs. “But he will find out eventually.” The teasing smile returned.
“And hey, I’m glad you told me. Now I can finally eat galchi jorim without worrying you’ll go into shock after kissing me.”
Woonhak let out a quiet laugh. “I’m really sorry, hyung. I mean it. I thought you might break up with me over this.”
“…Break up with you?” He scoffed. “Yeah, no. But I do think three years without omega-3 might’ve done something to your brain.”
Woonhak shoved him lightly.
“You’re so stupid.”
Those words couldn’t be farther from the truth. He was so lucky to have someone that could share the weight of the heavy burdens he carried. Someone who could both give up eating fish for him and then not kill him after finding out it was a lie.
“And you love it.” Jaehyun leaned closer until their foreheads touched.
Woonhak closed his eyes.
He wondered whether he really deserved all the trust and love Jaehyun gave him, not just now, but all the other times he thought he had messed up.
Maybe he didn’t. But for now, just for a moment, he could pretend.
He opened his eyes.
“I do. I really do.”