Archive of Our Own

The clatter of pots and pans coming from the kitchen wakes Killua from the other side of the apartment.

He had been staying a few days at his brother’s place. Since Illumi was indisposed and couldn’t go on missions, Hisoka had gone alone. Their mother, worried that Illumi would be left unattended in case of an emergency, had insisted someone stay with him.

Illumi had refused to return to the family estate.

So, in a strange turn of events, she had asked Killua to babysit his older brother for a week.

The teen wasn’t one to usually listen to his mother, but if this put him in her good graces without having to be physically close to her, he’d take it.

Killua stood, stretching briefly before making his way down the short hallway, bare feet silent against the floor. The apartment was dim, lit only by the faint gray-blue of early morning filtering through the windows. The clock at the kitchen’s wall marked 6:00 AM, Illumi was moving around wearing a loose sleeping shirt and matching shorts, his bump, although still small, was already noticeable.

“Good morning” The younger male greeted his brother.

“Morning” Illumi replied without looking at him nor stopping his movements “Did I wake you up?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “I am terrible sorry”

“What are you even doing?” A yawn escapes Killua as he asks.

“I felt Hisoka arrive at the building” he explained. “He, most likely, travelled during the night and hasn’t slept. He doesn’t like to fall asleep this early, so i am making him some coffee, i could make some pancakes too, so we can all have breakfast together” He continued to move through the kitchen, now opening cabinets and pulling out different ingredients.

“Since when do you know how to make pancakes?” Killua blinked, confused, his brother thought about it seriously before asking.

“I learned 2 years ago, approximately, I am not entirely sure, Hisoka mentioned he liked them so I learned how to make them” he stated.

Killua crossed his arms and looked around at the apartment, against their parents wishes Illumi had refused to hire maids nor butlers to help him around, insisting they were barely home anyway.

“Why don’t you just have someone to cook for you, so you don’t have to do everything yourself? you could just order something too” Killua asked, resting his hands behind his head., still looking at his brother, it was a very unexpected scene. The Zoldyck were raised having, what their mother called “The Help”, doing all the tasks they deemed less worthy for them.

“Because Hisoka is my husband, silly” He explained, letting out a tiny noise that could only be identified for those closer to him as a slight laugh, as if he had been made to explain something quite obvious. “I am the one who is supposed to tend to him”

“Eh….” Killua looked up to the ceiling thinking. “You are just like mom and dad”

This time Illumi's chuckle was a bit more noticeable.

“We are nothing like mother and father”

Killua stared at his brother with curiosity, as he heard the sound of the door opening.

♠ ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠ ♥ ♦ ♣

When Killua was a child, he had once been made to attend one of his father’s meetings.

He hadn’t wanted to go.

But wanting had never really mattered.

He had been brought in alongside Illumi, seated at his side as if his mere presence there was part of his training.

His older brother sat straight and silent the entire time, listening and assenting to what was being said.

Killua, on the other hand, didn’t pay attention at all. He didn’t care about assets, clients, missions, or whatever it was they were discussing.

His mother too was sitting obediently and quietly besides his father, not emitting a sound.

The meeting felt endless to Killua, but for some reason he did paid attention to something.

Every time his father’s glass of wine ran low, his mother would stand. The maid waiting against the wall would step forward and offer the bottle. His mother would take it, walk back, and refill her husband’s glass before returning it to the maid and sitting down again, without a word

Every time.

And every time this happened, Killua noticed, his father wouldn’t even acknowledge his mother.

Now the memory itself was but a fussy picture of a boring afternoon, but the indifference in the whole act was engraved into his five years old self.

♠ ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠ ♥ ♦ ♣

A steamy hot shower after a job well done was a must in Hisoka’s post-mission routing.

He walked into the hotel room he and his boyfriend were sharing, he knew seeing him in nothing but a towel and with his hair down had an effect on Illumi, even if he pretended it wasn’t the case.

The blackhaired man wasn’t even able to admit they were dating, neither would he admit to being physically attracted to the magician.

Hisoka sighed at the thought, he could really not get through Illumi’s thick skull that going to a fancy restaurant and spending an afternoon just walking and talking through a beautiful foreign city was in fact a date. It was amusing even, with the way Illumi acted if Hisoka as much as glanced at someone. And finding out the older of the Zoldyck siblings was the jealous type was such a turn on.

So now his plan for the evening was to try and seduce Illumi, maybe later order take out and watch a movie, spend whatever was rest of the day in bed with his lover before having to go back to report to Illumi’s father the results of their mission.

However, once he entered the room the long haired man was already inside the bed, covered up to his nose by the thick bedding reading a thick book.

Illumi had a deep passion for reading, he had always enjoyed nonfiction, his mother deemed anything else as unnecessary and a waste of time, but Hisoka was able to slowly but surely introduce him into the world of dark romance novels. He had got his hands in a book from a certain author, but couldn’t move from the first page, to just understand the context of the story the lector needed to be versed in deep world history, be able to understand an almost dead tongue, and have knowledge of both anatomy and old timey torture methods. Immediately he thought Illumi might like it and so far he was reading the fourth part of the eight part saga that was the author's most famous work.

So it was good to say Hisoka’s evening had a change of plans, because there was no way of getting Illumi away from the book when he was that deep in concentration.

He changed into some cotton pajama pants, and nothing else, he had to look for something else to keep him occupied in the meanwhile, maybe watch a movie himself, if Illumi was in his book world the noise wouldn’t bother him. So he lays down next to his boyfriend and starts to channel surf for something interesting to see, he decides on a gory and cheap looking horror movie, he can use a laugh.

Suddenly Illumi sits up, eyes staring into the hypothetical void in front of him before he turns his head towards Hisoka.

The magician looked at him curiously, if he had perceived any danger he would be already on his feet and not staring cryptically at the red head man, so there was only one option possible, he was thinking about something.

“You were flirting with me” Is all he says.

Hisoka stares at him with a smile on his lips. “I always am, but thanks for noticing”

“Not now” Illumi states. “Before”

“Before?” The younger man nods.

“Back when you would go to my house sometimes, and come into my room through my window” He explains in more detail. “You were flirting with me”

The magician stares at his boyfriend blankly for a second and then he cracks up laughing.

“You really just noticed it?” Illumi looks at him seriously, obviously for him this is no laughing matter. “That was 8 years ago my darling, what even made you realize it?” He extended his hand towards the book his boyfriend was still holding, but he put it against his chest and crossed his arms.

So it was that serious.

Illumi flopped back onto the bed.

“Dear?” Hisoka asked softly, he could tell something was bothering his other half.

“Why did you just stop coming back?”

Hisoka placed his palm softly against Illumi’s cheek.

“I was just doing it for the fun of it, dear, the thrill wore off so I moved onto something else”

He thought about Illumi at 16, his hair cut short, inspecting his flat chest in the mirror of his room, turning around curiously not noticing the presence in his balcony until the older male let himself in. He obviously tried to kill Hisoka the first time they met, but for some reason he didn't tell anyone about his presence. The next time they actually talked, and the times after that too. The teen was maybe going through a rebellious phase, Hisoka thought.

“Were you sad I didn’t visit you again?”

Illumi didn’t answer, he didn’t even look at him.

“Oh my dear, don’t tell me you were already falling for me back then?”

“Not in a million years” He shoots back. “Although it is interesting now that I think about it”

“What is?”

“You stopped coming back and around that time I began to masturbate myself on the regular”

“Oh…” Hisoka gave him a sly smile, but Illumi still wouldn’t look at him. “And you think those facts are related, maybe you missed me?”

“Maybe”

“Would you think about me while you did it?”

Illumi thinks about it for a while.

“I wouldn't think about anything specific” He finally said. “I just noticed that I liked to rub my clitoris, I felt relaxed afterwards and I remember when I was really young my mother told me many times I shouldn't touch my genitals except for cleaning porpuses” Hisoka learned the first time he had sex with Illumi, that all the sexual education that was taught at the Zoldyck household was ‘Don’t do it and don’t ask about it’, which in turn made Illumi to be extremely innocent about it, and that was a huge turn on for Hisoka, sadly thanks to himself he was starting to lose said innocence. “Back then I was going through a rebellious phase” Bingo. “But I didn't really want to upset my mother, so it felt like i was taking revenge on her without her knowledge”

Illumi looked at Hisoka and caught him staring at him with a mischievous grin.

“I’m still mad at you for disappearing”

“Oh, I’m so terribly sorry, my dear, if I had known you had feeling for me I would have stayed”

Hisoka receives a pillow at his face in exchange.

♠ ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠ ♥ ♦ ♣

The mansion where they had tracked and killed their latest target easily ranked among the three most beautiful places Hisoka had ever entered uninvited.

And that was saying something.

He had entered a lot of places uninvited.

It stood isolated in the countryside, surrounded by miles of quiet land that seemed to stretch endlessly in every direction. Even the Zoldyck estate was much closer to civilization, still the state as a whole wasn’t close to being as big as theirs.

According to the information they had gathered, their target had owned a diamond mine. A man of considerable wealth, built quietly and kept even more quietly. But had never married nor had kids, the irony of it wasn’t lost to Hisoka.

The old man didn’t even seem to have a staff to run the place, choosing to live in complete loneliness and isolation.

Illumi had offered to dispose of the body, he had no interest in looking in every room like his husband, for him, the mission had ended the moment their target’s heart stopped beating. Everything after that was just procedure, he only wanted to finish it and go back to the small cottage they had rented a few hours away.

Hisoka, however, hadn’t grown up surrounded by luxury like his husband, so he was deeply entertained by opening every cabinet and drawer to find fine china arranged with obsessive care, glassware untouched, cabinets lined with valuables that had never been worn, rings, necklaces, jewelry that had never known a body.

Illumi told him not to take anything.

He wandered from room to room, letting himself be entertained by the excess, by the quiet absurdity of it all. The house felt less like a home and more like a museum, frozen in time, waiting for no one.

Illumi finally found him in what appeared to be a ball room. The space opened wide before him, ceilings stretching high above, adorned with delicate detailing that caught the low light filtering through tall windows. The floor beneath his feet was smooth, polished to a shine, reflecting the faint glow in soft, shifting patterns, judging by everything they knew so far about their target, it was probably never being used either.

“We should go” The black haired man said.

Hisoka smiled faintly, glancing back at him over his shoulder.

“Tired already, love?” His husband didn’t answer. He had in fact felt more fatigued lately. “Or do you want to go back so we can start the celebrations early?”

Their first marriage anniversary was in a couple days, and as Illumi’s parents hadn’t pushed them into making something fancy and expensive they were looking forward to spend a couple days locked in their apartment for a change.

“I don’t want to miss our fly home, that’s all”

“Oh no,” he said, placing a hand lightly against his chest, “and then we would be forced to spend a romantic weekend here, what a disgrace that would be” The magician said dramatically.

“There is not even a place where we could go for something to eat,” Illumi insisted.

“We could raid the pantry”

“I already told you to not touch anything”

“We could live in the wilderness, we could hunt” Hisoka said, closing the distance between them, grabbing his beloved by the arms. “We don’t need anything but each other, besides” He whispered lowly. “I did stock up on condoms”

Illumi rolled his eyes, they had little use now…

“Hisoka” He said in a scolding voice. Sometimes Illumi sounded just like his dead mother, or at least what he remembered she sounded like, and that too made him giddy with excitement.

“I understand, my love, we will leave” He said smoothly, stepping back just enough to release him. “But first” He pulled out his phone and searched for something, soft romantic music started playing from it, he put it in his pants pocket letting the song play. “I think you owe me a dance” he said, stretching his arm towards him.

They really should get going, but Illumi couldn’t say no. He did in fact owe him a dance, and he promised they would get to do it, so he accepted his hand and let him guide them.

Their wedding hadn’t been as much theirs as it had been a Zoldyck affair. Illumi’s mother micromanaging everything from the guests to the flower arrangements. In that hellish family every marriage had been arranged for generations now, and since there was no point in an awkward kiss during a wedding it had become tradition to do without them, and Kikyo had forbidden them to kiss in public during the whole night.

She couldn’t control the way they looked at each other though, and they knew that had driven her insane, because Hisoka looked at Illumi like he wanted to consume him whole. The blackhaired man seemed as expressionless as ever to anyone who didn’t know him like his family and Hisoka did. So only they could see the way his black eyes shined every time they met the redhead’s own, as if the magician lighted a thousands stars inside him everytime they looked at each other.

Hisoka had laughed through most of the preparations., saying they were preparing a fake arranged wedding. Where the wed to be were supposed to not be in love with each other, but they were, and even more they had to pretend they were a loveless couple acting as if they were in love. It would have been funnier if having everything decided for them hadn’t angry him so much.

He didn’t like being controlled. Didn’t like having decisions made for him. Still he hadn’t pushed it too far, not wanting to upset Illumi

They were only able to choose their clothing, and Illumi’s mother had to approve of it. They wore matching black and red suits, Hisoka would have liked something more flamboyant. But he let it go just because of how good they both looked together.

When Hisoka was informed that vows and dancing were also forbidden at a Zoldyck wedding he was really close to calling everything off. Not for a lack of love towards Illumi, but he didn’t think he could put up with more meddling from that family, nor live his whole life like that.

That was when Illumi made the promise, that they would have a first dance and give each other their vows someday, and that Illumi wouldn’t let his family dictate their lives after this.

He had bitten his right thumb and offered his blood to Hisoka, who accepted.without question. Leaning in, tongue tracing over the wound with something that bordered on reverence.

He had kept his promise for the most part. The magician knew his lover would never drift away from his family, he was loyal to them to a fault, but he started putting boundaries. They lived far away from them, and Illumi had learned to take his parents orders just like suggestions. He would consider them, and weigh them. Sometimes he ignored them entirely.

As for the dance and the vows…

Illumi felt a hand grabbing at his ass. He caught Hisoka’s wrist without hesitation, fingers tightening just enough to redirect it at his back.

“I thought this was supposed to be a waltz” He reprimanded while the taller man pouted.

“Oh, my dear, but you could totally go for something sexier, have you ever thought about trying pole dance”

The black haired man frowned while Hisoka’s hand lowered again slowly.

“You would be so good at it,” Hisoka continued, voice bright with exaggerated enthusiasm. “I would be so good at it. Maybe we should retire and change careers.”

“You had never tried pole dance?” Illumi asked, genuinely curious.

“I really have not, I know i’m full of surprises” It was surprising given Hisoka’s flamboyant personality, and how sex and sexiness positive he was.

“I have never seen the appeal of it, but I do think you would be quite good at it, you need to be strong to lift yourself like that” He said analytically.

Hisoka huffed a quiet laugh.

“I should teach you tango someday” The magician stated. “It's elegant, but also sexy, you would like it!”

Illumi’s brows drew together faintly.

“You know how to dance tango?”

“And flamenco too, and a variety of things” He said proudly. “See? Full of surprises”

“And who did you dance with?” Hisoka didn’t answer immediately, but Illumi didn’t give him the chance to. The questions came in quick pointed succession.

“Was that before or after we met?” he continued, voice still calm, but sharper now, edged with something quieter, more possessive. “Did you like them? Did you sleep with them?”

Hisoka only laughs at his lover's outburst of jealousy.

“You know” He tried to change subjects. “It occurred to me that if I do teach you, I would have taught you how to tango twice”

Illumi looked at him confused, he didn’t get the double meaning of it.

Still, it felt nice to dance. He had never danced with anyone before.

The music ended, it was time to go.

A few hours later they were a few minutes away from the cottage, the black sky full of stars above them, walking side by side in silence.

“Starting from today,” he said suddenly, voice calm, cutting cleanly through the quiet, “I hold your life in my hands. Forever and ever.”

Hisoka turned his head immediately, blinking.

“What was that darling?”

“Those were my vows” He said, “I.. had written them down, before Mother say we couldn’t”

He looks at his husband directly eye to eye.

“Starting from today, I hold your life in my hands, forever and ever” He repeated with more meaning this life.

Hisoka gave him an indescribable look of adoration, tears in his eyes, he could be Illumi slave, he was so fascinated by him he couldn’t believe how much he loved him and how much he felt loved by Illumi merely acknowledging his existence.

“I wrote pages and pages” He admitted, a few tears escaping him. “Your mother would have never let me read it all, damn old hag” He left out a chuckle. “I am but a star, exploiting with love for the moon”

Illumi smiled, his eyes shining.

“You are the moon, by the way” He explained in a whisper.

“Yes, I got that”

They continue to walk side by side.

“This was the best gift you could have given me for our anniversary” The magician said, hugging his husband's side.

“I do have a gift for you, although it's not something material, it’s more of… an experience”

“Yes? and does it involve a pole?

“No” He sighs. “But it does involve a stick”

♠ ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠ ♥ ♦ ♣

All flights had been canceled due to the rain.

That was what they had been told at the airport.

Illumi liked precision. He planned his missions thoroughly, each step mapped out in advance, schedules broken down to the minute. Timing mattered. Efficiency mattered. Control mattered.

He couldn’t have predicted, however, that a faint drizzle would turn into a sudden storm. According to the updated weather forecast, it was expected to last for several days.

A storm of this kind probably wouldn’t have mattered if they were in a big city, but they were in a small village, away from everything, surrounded by mountains, only reachable by aircraft.

Illumi sighed in frustration. The humidity clung to everything, his long black hair sticking lightly to his face in a way he found deeply unpleasant.

They booked a small room at a hostel, with its own kitchenette and a view to the mountains, so they could watch the rain falling like it was never going to end.

They told the owner they were a couple on a poorly planned romantic getaway. Hisoka insisted that wasn’t entirely false. Illumi rolled his eyes.

“We are not a couple, Hisoka” he had insisted.

Illumi enjoyed Hisoka’s company. He was a good partner on missions. They held hands sometimes, but only because Illumi’s hands tended to get cold, and Hisoka was always warm. They shared a bed for the same reason, and nothing else.

Well, sharing a bed made it easier to have sex too, which also didn’t mean they were romantically involved, the older man had taught him how good the act could feel and he deeply enjoyed how relaxed he felt after it.

And yes he had also made Hisoka swear he wouldn’t do it with other people, but he only did that because thinking about the redhead sleeping with someone else made his stomach turn in disgust.

Hisoka was also good at choosing movies, and his book recommendations were consistently interesting. He had a surprisingly refined palate for someone who had grown up in relative poverty, though he still enjoyed simple things like pancakes and toast. He didn’t even complain when Illumi burned the bread.

They could spend hours walking through cities and small towns, visiting museums, wandering through shopping streets, attending concerts. Time seemed to pass more quickly when they were together.

There was nothing for them to do at this place though, so they had no option but to wait inside.

A warm mug being offered in his direction pulled Illumi from his thoughts. He turned his head, shifting his attention away from the window and toward Hisoka, studying him with an unreadable expression.

He received the mug and noticed it was hot tea.

“It has honey” the magician wasn’t used to him enough to notice just yet, but Illumi was very curious about this kind of act.

“Thanks” He simply says.

The mug itself looked old, slightly worn, like everything else in the village. The hostel was built almost entirely of wood, poorly insulated, with a rustic, timeworn feel that made its age impossible to ignore.

He tries the tea, it was delicious, oolong with nothing but a small spoon of honey, just like he liked it.

He looked out of the window again.

“My father won’t be happy about this” He nearly whispers.

“Well, sadly for him we can’t control the weather” Hisoka replies laughing. He sits at the small table across from Illumi. “what do we do now?” The other simply stared. “To kill the time, I mean”

“I’m not entirely sure”

“We can always just…” Hisoka gestured toward the bed behind him with his thumb.

“Maybe later” Illumi says after considering it for a few seconds, a faint blush touched his cheeks.

“Well then…” He pulled out his cards. “I can keep myself entertained while you finish your book”

“I already finished it”

“Was it good”

“It was… very engaging,” Illumi said, choosing his words carefully. “I liked that much of it is left open to the reader’s interpretation.”

“Isn’t it about a guy who tries to fuck a mummy?” Hisoka tilted his head, a teasing glint in his eyes

“It is not quite that simple because–”

“They don’t speak the same language” They both say, Illumi quite explicatively and Hisoka rolling his eyes.

The black haired man scoffed at the redhead’s antics, and gave his tea another sip.

“And even if they did” he continues, composed again. “They still wouldn’t understand each other, because they had both lived completely different lives until that point”

“But do they make it work?” The older man looks at him with a flirty smile that makes Illumi suddenly regret sharing a room with him, if they were separated right now he wouldn't have to bear that strange feeling in his stomach.

“I’m not sure” He replies. “I have yet to read the next one”

Hisoka hummed while playing with his cards. “A love story in progress you could say”

“It is also more than a love story” He explained again. “It topics like duty too, and family, traditions, destiny, war, politics, religion, it is a very complex story”

“Well,” Hisoka said, glancing at him again, that same look returning, “no wonder you like it. You are a very complex man.”

Illumi felt that strange, tight sensation in his stomach again.

“Let’s play something” He set his mug down.

Hisoka raised a brow.

“What would you like to play?”

“Babanuki?”

The older man sighted.

“Look, since we have the time” He said. “I should teach you another game”

Illumi had never been one to play with cards growing up, he actually was surprised when Hisoka explained that there wasn’t just one game involving cards, but hundreds of them.

The black haired man was particularly fond of babanuki, because the point of the game wasn’t to win, it was to make everyone else lose. It required strategy, restraint, and the ability to remain unreadable, all things he excelled at.

The different types of solitary weren’t as fun, even if he liked the mental challenge, especially in freecell, however not having an adversary made it feel less interesting.

“I’m gonna teach you Carioca” he said, dealing the cards with practiced ease.

“What is that?”

“You’ll love it,” he replied. “It’s complicated, it takes time, and it has multiple rounds. You need to keep score, the player with the lowest total wins.” He glanced up at him. “Did you bring a notebook and a pen?”

They ended up playing for most of the night.

After losing the first time, Illumi immediately asked for a rematch, insisting he had a better grasp of the rules now. Hisoka didn’t argue.

They refilled each other’s mugs of tea more times than either of them kept track of. At some point, they opened a bag of chips and a packet of cookies from the village’s only store. They found a bottle of wine in one of the kitchenette cabinets and finished it.

They go to sleep with the sound of the rain still growing louder.

The bed is big enough for two people but they manage to end up right next to each other, nose barely touching.

Illumi puts his cold feet against Hisoka’s warmer ones.

♠ ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠ ♥ ♦ ♣

On sleepless nights like this Illumi misses Hisoka’s presence.

It was exactly one month ago since he last saw the clown.

‘Not clown, magician’ Hisoka would always correct with fake annoyance.

He wondered what he was up to now, he had been visiting him on and off for 6 months, appearing on his window on random days and disappearing without trace, but he had never been a whole month without one of their impromptu meetings.

Would he ever come back? Had he grown bored of Illumi? Had his father found out about him and made him disappear without a trace?

He looked towards his window, the sky was black, heavy rain poured against it.

It was raining one day when Hisoka came to his room, he had been annoyed at him for getting his room wet and practically forced him to sit still while he dried him with one of his towels.

Without really thinking about what he was doing the teen snicked his right hand inside his pants and began moving it.

Hisoka had been practically the only way he could vent the last few months, and without him he could feel the stress accumulating in his body. Ever since he started having periods a few years ago his mother had doubled down on her lessons about how he should always be proper and put together, on how they would find him a suitable husband and then he should bring strong kids into his family, how he needed to help her with the administration of their staff, making sure they were up to their high standards, he also had to take care of his siblings when his mother was unable to, and lately it felt more like he was the one raising them by himself, all that while training and studying and going on mission and trying to be in his father good side, and all that for what, if they had already decided that Killua was going to be the heir of the family, and he adored his little brother and knew he was someone special, a genius if you will, but he couldn't stop wondering, if he had too been born with a penis would it all be different.
He felt wetness on his fingers, his body reacting to the stimulation, he didn’t stop.

He closed his eyes and tried to think about anything but his family.

Hisoka’s back was wide, that was obvious to anyone with eyes, but it wasn’t until the second time they met that Illumi made the mental note on how wide the older man’s back was. The muscles at his shoulders were permanently visible from his choice of clothing. His arms too were remarkably strong, and his hands were big, if he were to try and hold Illumi by his waist, not that Illumi would allow such a thing but, most likely his hands would be able to meet. Hisoka’s own waist was tiny, especially compared with how wide his hips were. The younger teen had asked him if he really was a cisgender male or if he too was like himself, the clown -Magician- had laughed and assured him he was cisgender, which made Illumi feel somewhat better about his own widening hips. Hisoka had then asked if Illumi would like to check for himself, which earned him a pin being thrown right next to his head.

What would have happened if he had said yes. Would hisoka have lowered his pants to show off to Illumi what he was born with. Or would he have held Illumi’s hand and guided him towards himself, Illumi’s much smaller hand being left to rest on top of Hisoka’s crotch.

Sudden light illuminated his window, and then he heard the thunder, the storm was getting worse.

He thought back to that rainy day where he helped the other boy dry, Hisoka sitting down looking up at him, his hair wet and down, no silly make up on his face, golden eyes, sly smile.

He felt something electric run through his body, from his toes to his head. His back lifted off the mattress as an undignified sound escaped from his mouth, his body relaxed, he tried to catch his breath while he felt the thumping of his own heart in his ears and in his crotch.

What the hell had he done?

♠ ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠ ♥ ♦ ♣

“So… how have you found being married?”

On the first day of Killua’s duty as his older brother babysitter Illumi insisted they go out to eat, and the younger brother quickly realized he had never spent one on one time like this with his brother before, if they ever talked about something it was always family business related. Illumi didn’t seem bothered to share a meal in silence, and Killua asked if maybe that was what his life now with Hisoka was like.

Thinking about it, he had never heard their parents talk about something else but the family business, and about their kids but they too talked about it as if it was business. So Killua just asked him the first thing that came to mind to start a conversation, which he realized right away was a very stupid question, it wasn’t as if Illumi had gotten married a couple of weeks ago, it had been more than a year since.

Still, his older brother stopped eating, setting his utensils down as he considered the question seriously

“I’ts not how mother described it would be…” He said. “But then again, we hadn’t been married that long, she says we are still on the Honeymoon Phase, and that everything will be downhill from now on, although I personally doubt it will be like that, considering our circumstances are quite different”

Killua thought about his brother's answer for a moment before asking again.

“How did she say you would be?”

“Eh….?” Illumi grabbed at his chin. “Oh I had forgotten, mother probably didn’t give you that kind of lecture, since you were born with a penis and all”

Killua stared back at his brother with mild annoyance.

“Yeah… That’s one way to put it”

“Mother always said that a wife should always tend to her husband, under any circumstances”

That much Killua had actually heard in passing, and he had deeply internalized it. Gon had pointed out not long after they had met that Killua always treated women around him as if they were lesser than him, he wouldn’t pay any kind of respect to the elevator operator or the cashier if they happened to be a woman. Even when they had stayed together at Gon’s place, he didn’t understand why he should say thanks to Gon’s aunt after she fed them, it was her duty after all.

“But in our case, there is no wife” Illumi explained, bringing a piece of french toast to his mouth. “Although, I actually enjoy tending to Hisoka” he said covering his mouth with his hand as he chewed. “And since I am also his husband, after all, I do expect him to tend to me, which he does, he has never failed to please me”

“When you say please you mean..” Killua regrets the words as they leave his mouth, he didn’t actually have any interest in his older brother’s sex life.

He really didn’t have any interest in his almost 4 month pregnant older brother’s sex life.

“Sexually?” To Killua’s dismay his brother finishes the question he started. “I guess you could say that, but I meant it in a general way”

The white haired male sighed, happy he didn’t get to hear a further explanation.

“So, to answer your question, I find being married to be quite fulfilling” He continued.

“I see” Killua said softly, for some reason he felt a pang of jealousy towards his brother, no one in their family would say it out loud, but Illumi…

“Did you know that I’m the first Zoldyck to choose their spouse themselves in generations”

That.

The younger brother knew their parents still hoped to be able to marry him with someone, a woman, of their choosing, the thought made Killua’s stomach twist.

“I really hope you get to choose too” His brother said. “And that you too find life with a husband to be fulfilling”

Killua’s cheek turns a bright tone of red.

His brother knows, of course he knows.

♠ ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠ ♥ ♦ ♣

They had been walking through the forest for over an hour, and they would likely be walking for a few more.

This particular target had been hard to find, but the job was already done, all there was left to do was walk all the way back to their hotel room and go back home.

Illumi suddenly stopped walking, Hisoka looked at him curiously. Without saying a word Illumi started walking again, changing direction, his boyfriend followed him without a question.

They entered a cave to find a body of shiny blue water inside, Soft light filtered through a crack in the ceiling, illuminating the surface. The place was stunning, perfect for a romantic getaway, Hisoka thought.

Illumi began to undress.

“I want to bathe before we continue” He stated, they were both covered in sweat, dirt and dry blood.

“Naked?” Hisoka asked.

Illumi looked back at him with a blank expression, his torso already bare. “Obviously, I don't have a change of clothes with me”

Hisoka smiled, luck seemed to be in his favor today. He watched his lover undress with uninterrupted concentration, his eyes following Illumi’s body as he made his way into the pool of water letting out a pleased sound.

“It’s warm” He informed.

He kept watching as Illumi runned his hands down his hair, doing his best to clean it without the proper products. Just then Hisoka got himself naked, by the time he entered the water Illumi was relaxing by floating on his back, his elegant body sprawled on top of the water as if he was but a leaf.

The older male stretched a bit, getting rid of whatever heaviness his body possessed, he then decided to do a few laps around the natural pool, satisfied with the way his muscles felt he went next to Illumi, interrupting what seemed to be a deep meditation.

Hisoka stretched his arms towards his lover and he went along with it, they ended up hugging. Hisoka's back against the natural wall of the cave, holding Illumi close chest to chest, both submerged from the shoulder down in the water.

“We should probably get going” The older man said, holding Illumi’s face with one hand. “Wouldn’t like your father to be mad at us again”

The long haired man hummed.

“He had been pleased with your performance lately” he revealed.

“Really?”

“Yes, I have actually been thinking” He said. “I intend to ask him for permission to marry you once we get back”

Hisoka stared at him with his mouth slightly open, before smiling and repeating.

“Really?”

“Yes, I think it is a good time for it, I'd rather do it right now, before you do something that pisses him off again” Illumi explained.

“Well, my dear” Hisoka laughed softly, running a hand through Illumi’s damp hair.. “And here I thought you may drop to your knees before that”

Illumi’s eyebrow frowned lightly in confusion.

“You want me to… suck your dick?” he asked, Hisoka laughed out loud, probably thanks to his own teachings, that was the first thought that came to Illumi’s mind when he thought about dropping to his knees for Hisoka.

“Always, dear, but that is not what I meant” Illumi kept staring at him for an answer. “Isn’t there someone else you should ask before you ask your father?”

The younger man put a hand against his chin thinking about it.

“You mean mother? I honestly don’t think she would be much help, she doesn’t like you, and she definitely doesn’t see you as useful to the family”

Hisoka sighed.

“Yes, I’m aware your mother hates me, and believe me the feeling is mutual” he explained. “I’m talking about myself”

Illumi stared back at him now more confused than before.

“You haven’t asked me if I would like to marry you, don’t I get a say in the matter?”

The younger looked at him with almost disgust, as if he was made to explain something painfully obvious.

“No”

♠ ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠ ♥ ♦ ♣

Illumi slept like the dead.

Quite literally.

The rise and fall of his chest was almost imperceptible, his breathing so quiet it could barely be heard. He rarely moved once asleep, his body settling into an unnatural stillness that could easily be mistaken for something far more permanent.

Sometimes he would even fall asleep with his hands folded over his chest.

Hisoka found it fascinating, he could stare at him for hours wondering if he would look just the same if he was actually dead.

However, Illumi’s dreams were sometimes too haunted by the occasional nightmare.

On those occasions, his body would shift restlessly beneath the sheets, subtle at first, then more pronounced. His expression would tighten, distress creeping into his otherwise composed features, and a thin sheen of sweat would form across his skin.

The magician did wonder what an assassin’s nightmare was like. What kind of apparitions earned such a response from someone like Illumi Zoldyck.

The younger one always refused to tell. He would say he already forgot. Hisoka knew he didn’t.

When this kind of thing happened Hisoka would inevitable wake up.

But they had been together for a while now, getting married in a couple of months -Illumi's mother found it appalling that they shared a bed out of wedlock- And Hisoka new what to do at times like this.

He reached for Illumi, catching his wrist and guiding him closer. It wasn’t always easy, Illumi resisted even in his sleep, tension running through his limbs, but Hisoka was patient, persistent.

Eventually, he managed to pull him against his side.

Then, carefully, he guided one of Illumi’s hands to his chest.

Hisoka never wore a shirt to bed.

He had no intention of starting now—especially not when he knew how Illumi liked to pretend he wasn’t looking.

Illumi’s fingers pressed instinctively against his bare skin, clutching faintly at his pectoral as if seeking something solid, something grounding.

Like a child with a comfort object.

Slowly, the tension left his body.

His movements stilled.

His breathing evened out once more, returning to that quiet, eerie calm.

As if nothing had happened.

Hisoka leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to his hair.

“And you call me a pervert,” he murmured.

♠ ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠ ♥ ♦ ♣

The hotel room had two beds.

It was the first thing Illumi noticed when he walked in.

The room itself was large—larger than necessary, really. Spacious in the way expensive places often were, where empty space was meant to signal luxury rather than practicality. The ceiling stretched high overhead, pale and smooth, reflecting the warm, artificial light that bathed the room in a soft golden glow. The carpet beneath his feet was thick, swallowing the sound of movement, and the air carried a faint scent of detergent and something floral, impersonal

Both beds were doubles, positioned parallel to each other with a small gap in between, each accompanied by its own nightstand, its own lamp, its own carefully arranged symmetry.

Illumi stood still in front of the door, deep in thought. Meanwhile, Hisoka dropped his things onto one of the beds, the one to Illumi’s left, closer to the bathroom. As he always did after a mission, the magician went to take a shower, paying no mind to his husband. He was already used to his oddities.

Illumi remained where he was.

Still. Quiet.

Thinking.

The sound of the shower became the only movement in the room. His gaze lingered on the beds, on the deliberate separation between them, on the space that should not have been there. Eventually, he set his own things down on the left-side bed and let himself fall onto it, landing in the middle between their bags.

His father had been the one to book the room for their mission. Normally, Illumi and Hisoka handled that themselves, sometimes not even booking in advance, choosing instead to find something upon arrival. Other times, they would head straight back on a night train or aircraft. However, this job had been urgent, so his father had taken care of it.

His father had booked a room with two beds.

For his married son and his husband.

He stayed on the bed facing down without moving an inch. A few moments later, the bathroom door opened. Illumi did not turn his head, but he felt it, the shift in the air, the subtle presence of another body entering the space.

“You should shower too, my love” He said as he laid down on the bed on the right, that one was closer to the window, it had a view of the city from above, something Hisoka had always liked.

Illumi remained where he was for only a moment longer.

Then the absence became too noticeable.

He pushed himself up, moving quickly, crossing the small space between the beds without hesitation. He slipped onto Hisoka’s side, pressing himself close, fitting against him as naturally as breathing.

Hisoka’s arm wrapped around his waist immediately, pulling him closer.

They fit together like puzzle pieces.

“Missed me?” Hisoka murmured, amusement threading through his voice.

“You weren’t gone long” Illumi’s reply makes Hisoka chuckle.

“You don’t have a single funny bone in your whole body” He says brushing a finger lightly along Illumi’s nose. Illumi sometimes didn’t understand the magician, how was a bone supposed to be funny?

“You know” He continued, voice lowering slightly. “You were to die for today, seeing you with a beating heart in your hands never fails to make me want you” Hisoka hugged him closer, Illumi could feel his breath against his ear. “I could barely hold myself, I thought I may come in my pants.”

“No” Illumi stopped him at once, sometimes he didn’t get his husband but he knew where this was going, he shifted slightly, pulling back just enough to look at him, expression flat but firm. “We need to rest, and caught an early train so we don’t get late, I don’t want to upset my parents in their anniversary”

Hisoka hummed, unconvinced.

“Well, if you don’t want to upset them,” he said lazily, “you probably shouldn’t bring me along.”

The assassin gave him one scolding look.

His parents were celebrating their 30th anniversary with a banquet, it was going to be full of important people and everybody should be on their best behavior. As the eldest sibling, Illumi already carried responsibility for maintaining order among his brothers and sisters, and now he added the stress of having his husband behave like one of the most dangerous men in the world and not like a clown who tried to instigate and initiate issues with everybody for the fun of it.

And to add to his stress.

His father had booked a room with two beds.

“My parents used to sleep in separate beds” Illumi said looking at the night sky through the window.

Hisoka hummed, fingers idly threading through Illumi’s long hair.

“I thought your parents slept in separated rooms, darling”

“They do” Illumi replied dryly. “But they used to sleep in a room like this one when i was a child, in the same room, but in different beds” He accommodated himself better, his head resting on his lover’s strong shoulder. “When my mother had Killua she had her bed moved to the nursery to tend to him better, but when Killua was moved to his own room she stayed, she changed the furniture and had the room repainted, made it her own.”

The magician looked at him contemplating, to most people Hisoka was probably a sociopath with no compassion, however, he was able to feel empathy, it just happened to be that most of that ability was reserved to Illumi and almost no one else.

“You wonder why that happened”

“I know why that happened” Illumi shot back.

Illumi had never told anyone what he was about to reveal, not even his husband.

But the two beds, his parents' anniversary, his mother’s words ringing at the back of his brain, everything seemed to point to him sharing this piece of knowledge with someone.

“My father used to cheat on my mother”

Hisoka opened his mouth yet no words came out unless for a few seconds.

“‘Used to’?” He repeated.

Because Illumi hadn't said that his father ‘had’ cheated, he said he ‘used to’.

“He used to… at least as far as I am aware, he had his own missions and would do it then, he didn’t go to more missions after that, my grandfather had him manage the family business and train us, still he might have found a way to do it if he so wished to”

The magician thought about what Illumi was telling him, Silva Zoldyck was a serial cheater, and suddenly he started to laugh.

“Hisoka!” His husband reprimanded him, and he felt terribly sorry, because it was obvious this really troubled Illumi, and with the way the Zoldyck family worked he as the older sibling was probably made to keep the secret from the other kids.

“I am terrible sorry, my love, the light of my life, my reason to wake up each day” He said exaggeratedly, once more Illumi didn’t seem to find it funny. “But you have to admit that it is quite amusing”

“What is?” The younger male still had a frown in his face.

“That when you, Milluki and Killua were made it was probably because one of your parents decided to change beds in the middle of the night, which is itself hilarious, your mother presents herself as so proper, but clearly she was willing to make an effort to get fucked” He said cracking up. “But after that they don’t only had to change beds they had to change rooms entirely, and your mother’s room is nowhere near your father’s, they literally have to cross the whole mansion”

“Manor” Illumi corrected, still upset.

“So what? Alluka and Kalluto were just attempts at reconciliation?” he continued to laugh.

“No.” Illumi said, his tone now harsher. “Grandfather Zeno ordered them to have more children.”

“Oh” Hisoka’s laughter died abruptly. “Oh shit, no you are right that’s sad”

Illumi still looked upset. And it was an upsetting thought, Hisoka hated how the Zoldyck treated their children, they were used to just deciding their whole lives for them, what they ate, what hours they slept, their hobbies, their spouses, what they would dedicate their life to, even who they were.

They were shaped, not raised.

And it was easy to forget that Silva and Kikyo who now enforced those same rules, once received the same treatment, and sometimes they still did.

It was a cycle. One generation deciding for the next, again and again, until it became tradition.

Hisoka particularly hated the idea of being forced to have kids. Not that he didn’t want to, children had never particularly interested him. They had existed somewhere distant and irrelevant, like most things that didn’t immediately entertain him. One boring night, a couple of years back, after they had started going on mission together, but before they had begun making out after them, Hisoka, bored out of his mind, had insisted, persistently, annoyingly, until Illumi had finally allowed him to to read his palm. He didn’t point out out loud, but Illumi had three small vertical lines near the edge of the palm, under the pinky, three children lines, just like himself. That was the day it clicked for Hisoka, they were destined to each other.

Hisoka knew they would have children one day. Still it would be because they were horny for each other, not because someone else said so.

“Do you think your parents are going to want us to do something for our anniversary?” The magician tried to change the subject slightly, after all their first wedding anniversary was coming soon.

“I don’t think so, It's only two months away, it isn’t enough time to arrange something to my mother’s standard”

“Then it will just be you and me, as it should be” Hisoka grabbed Illumi by his chin making him look at him, he can still see the worry in his eyes, the conversation isn’t over.

“My parents are looking for candidates to be Killua’s spouse”

The redhead sighs.

“Well, they will soon find out that you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink” Illumi looked at him again with his big black eyes, he really didn’t understand the magician sometimes. “They can make him marry, but he isn’t going to impregnate a woman,” He explained. “I mean, your brother is a dick sommelier”

“My brother isn’t a dick sommelier” He said with a pointer tone.

“What? I can say it because I used to be one too”

“But you married me and I don't have a dick” Illumi stated.

“That because your pussy made me change specialties" That time he did manage to make Illumi laugh.

“Shut up!” He said, kicking him playfully. He did have a funny bone after all.

“The point is your brother is gay” He continued more seriously this time. “And I don’t think he would be into trans man, not that I think he is transphobic, he does adore Alluka and he”

“Adores me?”

“Tolerates you” This time Hisoka kicks him harder, not that Hisoka is displeased by it. “He has already his eye on someone”

“I know” Illumi said, his voice dry and sad.

They stay cuddling in silence again.

“My father…” He stopped, looking for the best way to explain, when he himself didn’t understand, Why it pressed so insistently at the back of his mind, refusing to settle.

He shifted slightly against Hisoka, gaze unfocused, as if searching for the right way to shape something that had never been spoken aloud before.

“He would cheat during his missions, with some of his associates, or at least that is what I've heard mother tell my grandparents.” He had been scolded later, for spying instead of taking care of his siblings, he was supposed to be watching a toddler and a baby.. “Before that they would come to have meetings in our house, so I knew them.” He stopped again before saying. “They were all men”

He half expects Hisoka to not know what to say to that, however he immediately says.

“So he was dick sommelier too”

Illumi shouldn’t have laughed as loud as he did at something so vulgar.

“You are a clown.”

“Magician” He corrected smoothly. “So the apple didn’t fall far from the tree, and you escaped having your family choose you a husband, but you are worried they would do to your other siblings, and that they too would be stuck in a loveless marriage like your parents and grandparents” He explains. “Is that what is upsetting you, my dearest?”

“Mostly.. I think” Illumi once more tried to put together his thoughts, trying to understand why thinking about his parents' anniversary made him feel this way, this worried and stressed. “It just… I love my family, and I want us to keep our traditions alive and our honor, even if it feels like everything is too much sometimes. But the older I get the less I understand my mother, and I thought it would be the other way around”

“For instance she always explained that a marriage out of convenience was better, but I married you because I wanted you” Hisoka can’t help but smile at that. “And because it was convenient, you are strong, and loyal, you please me sexually, you keep me entertained when i don’t have things to do, you are a good sparing partner, you help me cook if asked, you do my laundry without being asked to, and if you ever step out of line i can just use sex to manipulate you, and if it you are no longer useful I can kill you and keep your money, how can’t she see that?”

The redhead tucked a loose strand of black hair behind his husband hair, “I think she is just stuck in an old way of thinking, light of my life”

Illumi’s expression didn’t soften.

“I really don’t understand her” He continued, his tone picking up dangerously. “You know what she did when she found father cheated?”

“She killed his affair partner?”

“She did, and I would have done the same” He incorporated himself slowly. “But if I ever found out you had cheated on me I would absolutely kill you, and I try and try to put myself in my mother’s shoes, and every time I reach the same conclusion” Hisoka felt the shift immediately, the change in weight, in presence, in intention. Illumi moved over him with quiet precision, until he was straddling his hips, pinning him to the mattress without force, yet with complete certainty.

His long black hair slipped forward with the motion, falling around his face and shoulders, loose strands drifting like shadows in the dim light. It framed him in a way that made his already sharp features seem almost unreal, his eyes, wide, dark, unblinking, locked onto Hisoka’s. “Even if I was, hypothetically, weaker than you, even if I knew I would never succeed on killing you, I would still try, I would try until you have no option but to kill me and I would die heartbroken, but I would die knowing you had my blood in your hands as a spouse should”

“Oh my dear Illumi” Hisoka is out of breath and in complete extasis from the goodly vision that is his husband in front of him. “I love you too”

He grabs his lover by the neck bringing him down in a passionate kiss.

This time Illumi doesn’t say no to Hisoka.

They end up being late to his parent’s anniversary banquet.

By the time they reach their first anniversary as a married couple Illumi is two months pregnant.

♠ ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠ ♥ ♦ ♣

Hisoka walks through the door and Killua hears him stop by the bathroom next to the entry of the apartment.

Illumi keeps on moving around the kitchen giving the final touches to their breakfast.

Killua stares at him.

His brother placed Hisoka’s cup of coffee on the table just as the man entered the room, perfectly timed, as if he had been counting the seconds.

“Welcome home,” Illumi greeted his husband, already moving toward him, closing the distance between them.

And he does the unthinkable.

He greets him with a kiss.

It was brief, just a soft peck to the lips, likely because Killua was there.

Killua suddenly doesn’t know where to look, he hadn’t meant to stare. He had just been following Illumi’s movements out of curiosity, that was all.

He turned his head slightly, hoping they hadn’t noticed the heat rising to his face.

And it wasn’t like he himself hadn’t kissed anyone ever either, it was just that he had never seen another couple kiss, well maybe strangers in the street, and in porn movies, but he had never seen people who he knew kiss.

He had never even seen their parents kiss. The thought suddenly became quite confusing to him, did their parents even kiss?

“Missed you” Hisoka whispered, one hand touching his husband’s belly lightly. Killua didn’t know the man was capable of speaking in such a soft way. “How was the babysitter?” He said in his usual playful tone.

Killua huffed.

“He isn’t babysitting me” Illumi complained. “Come sit” He turned to his brother. “You too, Kill”

The teen did as told, though he made a point of not engaging too much with Hisoka. They might technically be family now—something he still found deeply unsettling—but that didn’t mean he had to like him.

So he just observes them while eating his breakfast.

Illumi’s pancakes, it turned out, were much better than any he had tried.

The married couple talked mostly about how the mission went, Killua rolls his eyes every time Hisoka calls his brother ‘darling’ or ‘dearest’ or ‘love’.

“More coffee?” Illumi asks his husband, the latter’s cup was already empty.

The older man looks like he is about to stand up, but the blackhaired man beats him to it, grabbing the cup.

“I can serve myself, love”

“Sit” Illumi says in that scolding tone, letting clear to anyone in the room that that was an order.

Hisoka stayed seated, letting out an exaggerated sigh, though there was no real resistance behind it.

Killua followed Illumi with his eyes as he walked back to the kitchen, pouring more coffee. Then, almost instinctively, he glanced back at Hisoka and paused.

The man was staring at Illumi, completely absorbed, there was something almost dreamy in his expression.

Was he… Was he staring at his butt?

He totally was, Killua stuck his tongue out in disgust, immediately looking away. Honestly, if he hadn’t been sitting right there, Hisoka probably would have jumped Illumi the moment he walked in.

Illumi comes back and offers the cup to the redhead who gladly takes it.

“Thanks, dearest”

Illumi smiles ever so subtly before sitting back.

Killua wants to finish his breakfast and leave this place as soon as possible.

Days later he is laying on top of his bed looking up at the ceiling and he still can’t stop thinking about it, he just doesn’t get it.

Illumi had been the one cooking, serving, taking care of everything. And yet the older man stared at him with a look of pure devotion the whole time, as if he could be Illumi’s slave and die happy.

Illumi was right, they were nothing like their parents.

Killua decides.

They were weirder.

♠ ♥ ♦ ♣ ♠ ♥ ♦ ♣

Deep black unexpressive eyes stare at Hisoka and he stares back.

He tried making funny faces, exaggerating his expressions, even adding a few ridiculous noises for good measure. But the expression barely changes, if anything they look at him a bit more judgementally.

He sighs.

“I am terribly sorry, my dear” he laments theatrically. “But you were bone without a funny bone, just like your father”

He makes a show of burning his face in the bed, the baby reaches for his head from her sitting position, sort of petting it softly, Illumi had introduced her to the family's dogs recently and she seemed to be quite fascinated by them, so now she had taken a likely to pet everything with hair, from peoples heads, to their fluffy carpet.

“Da…” She babbles.

“Yes,” Hisoka said, lifting his head slightly, his tone softening. “Daddy would very much appreciate a smile from time to time, little star.”

He reached out and gently tapped the tip of her nose with his finger.

She was a carbon copy of Illumi, if not for her nose, while the tip of the blackhaired man was pointy, Hisoka’s was rounder, the only thing he had in common with his daughter it seems.

“Bup” he says pretending her nose was a button. She crossed her eyes in confusion.

“Ba…” She responede.

She was so smart.

Or so Hisoka thought. He didn’t have much experience with babies.

According to Illumi she had reached all of her milestones quite nicely, but not early, a completely normal little girl.

As any six month old she could sit without falling, she could roll from left to right and from right to left, she babbled a lot, she would try to crawl every time she saw something she wanted, and she was getting quite good at eating mushed fruits and vegetables.

Still, Hisoka liked to think she was more advanced than most kids, she was born under a lucky star, and her hands indicated she was meant to have a long and happy life.

Sadly for them life had gotten more challenging when their little star arrived into the world, and reluctantly they had to move into the Zoldyck’s state, altho they decided not to live directly in the main house, they had their own residence built instead.

It was probably the most expensive place Hisoka had ever lived in, Illumi had designed it himself, favoring a gothic country style, dark wood, tall windows, elegant but imposing, two stories, five rooms, one for them, one for their little star, even if she spends every night next to them in her crib, two for the little stars that would one day fall upon them, and one extra room in case they had guests.

The only guests they had were Killua and sometimes Alluka when she insists she wants to sleep over.

Killua was staying for a few days now, he had taken to sleeping in their guest room when he came over instead of his old room, not wanting to be that close to his parents. He had arrived that afternoon with Gon.
.
Earlier, Alluka had asked if she could sleep with them for a “sleepover.” Killua and Gon had exchanged a quick, nervous glance, both of them flushing as they tried to explain, awkwardly, that they needed to rest, and that they could do it another time.

Hisoka had laughed loudly, until his husband shot him a look.

The teens were nearly seventeen now. Of course they had… other nightly activities on their minds.

Illumi entered the room a moment later, dressed in clean pajamas, his long hair still slightly damp. He never quite managed to dry it completely.

Hisoka stares at him, he is as breathtaking as ever.

“Da” Their baby says, still petting Hisoka’s hair.

“Yes, that is Daddy,” Illumi said as he sat beside them, his tone calm. He reached out, mirroring the motion, gently running his fingers through Hisoka’s hair. “Good boy.”

“I am not a dog, you two.”

“Well,” Illumi replied evenly, “you are not that different from a well-trained one.”

“Haha” Hisoka says mockingly.

Illumi laughs and goes to grab their baby, sitting her up against his hip.

“Did you change her while I bathed?”

“Of course” he says sitting next to them too, legs crossed. “I wasn’t going to leave her like that”

“Thanks”

“You don’t need to thank me every time I do something for her” Hi sighs. “She is my daughter too, remember?”

“Yes, I know,” Illumi said, gently bouncing the baby in his arms.

“I put her inside you”

Illumi rolls his eyes.

“I need to talk about something”

“Sure”

“I’ve noticed Killua’s friendship with Gon has been… evolving” He says carefully.

“Yes I noticed too” He replies. “I actually noticed four years ago”

Illumi sighs, annoyed.

“I need you to promise me you won’t spy on them while they stay with us”

Hisoka stays quiet.

“Hisoka,” Illumi said, sharper this time.

The older man sighs.

“Okay, I promise” He says without even looking at him, almost pouting like a scolded child. “Happy?”

“No” He replays putting his thumb in his mouth, he bites down a fat drop of blood falling from it.

He held it out toward Hisoka.

Hisoka’s attention sharpened instantly. He took Illumi’s hand, guiding it toward his mouth, but Illumi pulled back just before he could enjoy that coppery taste.

“You need to say it”

“I promise” He goes for it again, but Illumi still doesn’t allow him.

“What do you promise?”

Hisoka sights and grabs his head as if this was a dilemma to him.

“I promise not to spy on your brother and his boyfriend fucking” He says exasperatledy.

“That is not enough, you need to promise not to spy them at all”

Hisoka grunts now, frustrated out of his mind.

“What happened to us compromising on things? i’m starting to think I am the only one who is always sacrificing things in this relationship”

“I gave birth to your daughter,” Illumi replied calmly, lifting the baby slightly as emphasis. “She was large. I could have died.”

“Don't try to seduce me now!” Hisoka shot back, scandalized.

Illumi sights, it is like he has two kids.

“If you promise to not spy on them, I would convince them to look after the baby for a couple of hours so we can have sex”

The magician stops moving.

Oh this changes things.

Despite occasionally accepting help from Illumi’s family, Illumi trusted very few people to be alone with their daughter.

He doesn’t trust his mother if he isn’t in the room with them too. Milluki was out of the question. Alluka could watch her along with someone else, Kalluto was the only one that was trusted alone, for only for a few minutes.

So in other words.

Their sex life had consisted of quickies for the past six months.

Now adding Killua to the equation.

‘Hours’ Illumi said ‘A couple of hours’

Hisoka didn’t hesitate this time.

He grabbed Illumi’s hand and finally pressed his lips to the wound, drinking.

Illumi doesn’t make him say what he is promising out loud, he knows he understands.

“I need a cold shower” The magician says getting off the bed and leaving the room.

Illumi smiles at his daughter.

“Daddy is a pervert” He tells her, he had never liked to baby talk to her, or to sugar coat things.

“Da…” She replies.

“Yes,” Illumi said calmly. “He is.”