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"How could you possibly know that, Shane?" JJ asked, slack jawed and wide eyed. "It hasn't even been publicly announced yet and I know we're your only friends in Montreal you would ask."
Hayden narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "How do you always seem to know everything before we can tell you?"
Shane shrugged, grinning as he thinks to himself, because my husband is an incomparable gossip.
Even though Ottawa had a game tonight against Montreal, Shane had wanted to have lunch with Hayden and JJ for old times sake. He'd been openly gay and married to Ilya Rozanov for nearly an entire season now. Playoffs would be coming up soon, and Shane having insider information to a surprise trade that hadn't been announced yet hadn't been on the Montreal players' bingo cards.
"You guys needed a star center after I left. It was bound to happen that you'd eventually trade the rookie who didn't seem to be working out for someone a bit more seasoned," Shane reasoned out, hiding his true source.
Shane never really knew how Ilya always seemed to know everything, but he always did. And he was almost always right. Perceptive, he would smugly inform Shane any time he'd ask how he knew so much. Shane would laugh, but Ilya would always tell him that Shane knew hockey stats and history better than anyone else....and Ilya knew people better than anyone else.
"Galina calls it trauma. Says it was a coping mechanism to deal with abuse. Being aware of all your surroundings and learning to read people very well," Ilya would brag.
"I don't think that's a good thing, Ilya," Shane would insist.
Ilya would only laugh, shrug a shoulder without a care in the world, and state that at least he got something from his father being an asshole. Shane couldn't argue with that.
"I don't think this trade will work out either, though. I mean Dallas fucking Kent? Really? The guy just got out of jail on a technicality. How is he even still allowed to play?" Hayden grumbled.
Shane didn't want to say that he agreed with Ilya on this, that Montreal was exactly the kind of team that would be literally the only one willing to sign Dallas Kent after his re-entry into the NHL. His own hurt and betrayal regarding the Voyageurs seemed to color his thoughts on that subject.
"That still doesn't explain how you knew it was Dallas Kent specifically, Hollander. Don't fucking try to distract us from the fact that you know things you shouldn't. We've known you for a decade, Shane. You don't pick up on things like this so easy," JJ reiterated.
Shane only smiled and shrugged. "I know hockey," he admitted as if that explained anything.
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It happened again that Shane Hollander surprised everyone with his advanced knowledge when Eric Bennett announced, not only his retirement, but his relationship with Kyle. Scott Hunter and Kip Grady had sat across from Shane, Ilya, Harris, and Troy at the Kingfisher the night before Ottawa played against the Admirals in the playoffs. Both of them were practically vibrating with the excitement of their unspoken news.
"Benny is retiring," Scott blurted out of nowhere.
"And he's dating Kyle!" Kip squealed as if he'd just been waiting on his husband to slip up first as permission to add his own details.
Troy and Harris both gasped, Ilya made a show of surprise, a hand fluttering to his chest. Shane, however, was never a great liar or very good at social situations where he didn't use absolute honesty, despite spending a decade hiding his relationship. His non-reaction got a reaction out of everyone at the table, including a frowning Ilya.
"You knew already," Kip stated simply, watching Shane's face for confirmation. Shane only shrugged.
"How did you know? Benny didn't even know," Scott laughed in astonishment. "Who knew Shane Hollander was the most perceptive man in the NHL?"
At this, Ilya barked a laugh, grinning wide, amusement clear on his face. Shane shot him an annoyed look.
"Oh yes. If there is one thing my husband is, it's perceptive," Ilya laughed. "Everyone knows this."
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By the time Troy announced his engagement to Haris, one thing everyone was certain about was that Shane Hollander knew all things long before they happened. So it was no surprise to anyone when Troy joked that Hollander probably already knew, but he and Harris had gotten engaged over their long weekend. Shane only nodded in agreement and watched in confusion as everyone around him laughed heartily in the Centaurs locker room.
"How do you always know everything, Hollander?" Wyatt Hayes cackled. "You put Rozanov to shame. He thinks he's so insightful and observant, but he's got nothing on you!"
Ilya grinned with mischief at Shane. "Ah yes. Shane Hollander, hockey gossip detective. My husband knows all. There's nothing you can hide from him."
Shane only rolled his eyes and kept his mouth shut. It was Ilya, the idiot that he was, that he was protecting anyway. Who would spill their guts to Ilya Rozanov if they knew every word they said would be repeated back to Shane Hollander when they would lay naked in bed together later that night?
Ilya loved to be in the know. Shane didn't personally care, but he loved that Ilya would curl up with him, sharing a pillow and talk excitedly about all the gossip he'd heard throughout the day. Somehow he always seemed to know everything. Even though Shane didn't particularly want to know, he wanted that time with Ilya. He loved getting to hold or be held while Ilya gossiped like they were schoolgirls at a sleepover. It made him truly feel like he was Ilya's best friend as he always claimed. It made him feel even more special in Ilya's world, that he was the first person he always wanted to tell everything to, and that wasn't something he'd give up for anything.
So he'd continue to let everyone believe he was the real gossip king, and letting Ilya tease him for it.
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They were found out in their ruse the day they were caught red-handed.
Ilya hadn't been able to wait for pillow talk. The news was too juicy to wait even a second. He stormed into the locker room before morning skate like a man on a mission, eyes searching for one man. His gaze latched on to Shane Hollander like he was magnetic and he practically launched himself across the room to grab him before he could put his skates on.
"Shane! Shane! I have to talk to you in private. Now! Hurry, hurry! Davai!" Ilya gripped his arms in a death grip, tugging at his husband like he couldn't wait a second longer to get him alone.
Grinning madly to each other, the Centaurs all followed casually behind at just far enough of a distance to not be caught eavesdropping on their captain and his husband. They expected to interrupt a make out session with cat-calls and jeers. What they didn't expect was to discover Ilya Rozanov was the real reason Shane Hollander knew absolutely every bit of dirt in the NIHL.
"Oh my god, Shane, you will never guess what I heard. I just found out from Leah," Ilya was practically vibrating as he tugged at Shane's sleeve.
Shane only laughed, smiling fondly at his husband. "What did you hear, Ilya."
"You don't care," Ilya straightened, pouting just a little.
Laughing again, Shane said, "No, I do. Sorry, I'll try to be more excited. Please tell me."
"I can tell you do not mean it, but I will tell you anyway because I am too excited," Ilya went on, back to tugging at Shane's sleeve. "It will be announced later today, but Roger Crowell will be resigning, aka being forced to step down, from being the NHL Commissioner!"
As the Centaurs all filtered back into the locker room, each one ran through every time Shane had known something impossible in the last year. Suddenly it all seemed to add up. Shane Hollander had never seemed the type to be a gossip. He'd always play it off as "he knew hockey," but no one could figure out how he just knew everything, hockey related or not.
Ilya Rozanov, on the other hand, made perfect sense as the local gossip king. They all began to question how they hadn't seen it before when Coach Wiebe came in to announce the resignation of Roger Crowell as Commissioner. Ilya elbowed Shane, the two of them having rejoined the rest of the team at some point, and everyone's attention seemed to hone in on Shane.
"I suppose you somehow already knew, huh Shane?" Wiebe joked.
Shane nodded and smirked a boyish grin. "Of course you did," Wiebe laughed.
"Uh uh! Not today, Hollander! We're on to you!" Dykstra shouted. "We've figured out who your informant is!"
Sticks hit the sides of stalls as every Centaur clacked together in agreement. Ilya didn't even have the decency to look taken aback or ashamed. Shane looked almost sad, but said nothing.
"Alright, you caught me. Shane has me spy for him and report back," Ilya claimed in an outright lie that absolutely no one was buying.
"Mhhmm, because Shane is such a deviant mastermind," Troy quipped sarcastically.
Ilya grinned wickedly, plopping onto the wooden bench. He began pulling on his skates before he responded. "Everyone thinks Shane is so innocent. So pure. Only I know how...deviant...he really is."
Shane flushed deep red and smacked Ilya's shoulder, nearly collapsing onto the bench next to Ilya to drag his own skates on in an attempt to hide his face from the others. "Shut up, Ilya."
"No secrets are safe with Ilya Rozanov," Hayes announced. "Unless you want Shane Hollander to also know them."
From somewhere near the showers, Bood chuckled. "Did you really expect Ilya to not tell his husband everything? You're going to tell me Lisa doesn't know everything down to Haas's crazy socks of the day?"
Haas joined Shane in flushing as bright as a tomato and glanced down at his dinosaur socks that said, "You're dino-mite!" all over them with little cartoon T-rexes on the purple background. "What's wrong with my socks?"
Laughter filled the locker room, hands reaching over to muss Haas's hair. "Nothing kid," Hayes laughed. "Never change."
"Alright, that's settled then," Dykstra nodded. "Roz is the real gossip. Hollzy's name is cleared. No one tell anything to Roz you don't want Hollzy knowing. Moving on."
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Later that night, Shane worried that their gossip sessions would end because they'd been found out. That fear was assuaged almost immediately as soon as they curled up in bed.
Shane laid his head against Ilya's shoulder, stroking his bare chest while Ilya held him.
"Oh my god, Hollander. You will never guess what I heard after practice today..."
Shane only smiled and nodded, kissing his husband's shoulder and reveling in his very best friend.