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Derek’s telling him he doesn’t have to do this. He doesn’t have to almost die so they can find out where Erica and Boyd are. He knows, of course, but it’s not like he’d be able to live with himself if he backs out. This pack is the closest to family he’s ever gotten, and he’ll do what it takes. Derek’s words are an empty comfort, and Isaac’s first response is to look to Scott. Scott who he trusts and who trusts him, even though they’re both so very different. Scott nods and Isaac doesn’t know if he’s telling him it’s okay or if he’s agreeing with Derek’s statement, but it also doesn’t matter. When Isaac looks at Scott, he feels stronger. When he gets Scott’s approval, he feels empowered. He can feel Scott’s pureness, can feel the good in Scott. He’s pretty sure Derek is getting annoyed with how much he brings Scott into conversations, but he can’t help it. Even saying his name makes his world feel a little lighter. So when Scott nods, he goes ahead and jumps into the ice bath.
**
Isaac doesn’t remember much from his near-death hypnosis, but the warmth of Scott’s hands on him as he jumps out of the bathtub are familiar. It’s a distant sort of familiarity, though; like a word on the tip of your tongue you just can’t remember. He’s trying to focus on what he remembers seeing but it’s hard to focus on anything, and somewhere in the back of his mind his thoughts keep jumping to: hands, touch, warmth, trust, Scott. And maybe Scott’s lingering touch is by accident, or just Scott being Scott, being worried, but Isaac will pretend it means more. He pretends it’s unspoken words between them and he thinks it’s nice to have this, and that he’s lucky to have anything like this in his life at all.
That night he has nightmares and he wakes up with his phone pressed to his ear and Scott’s voice panicked on the other end. He vaguely remembers hysterically dialing numbers, and he tries to slow his heart rate.
“Sorry,” he says. “I’m okay. It’s fine,” he assures Scott.
“It’s okay if you’re not fine,” Scott tells him after a pause. Isaac closes his eyes and lets Scott’s tone wash over him. He doesn’t admit to Scott that he’s not really fine, but he thinks Scott knows. They stay silent on the phone until Isaac’s breathing is back to normal and he begins to lull closer to sleep. He feels exhausted and heavy in the old mattress. He wonders if Scott is drifting off too, if he maybe already had.
“Thanks,” Isaac says, quietly.
“Any time,” Scott replies.
Isaac hangs up first.