Chapter Text
This house was familiar to her. The young woman that lived here was both a client and a friend to her. No...well, at this point Kanade Yoisaki was very important to her. She wasn’t considered a client at all, though Honami Mochizuki was still careful to handle this as she was supposed to. As her job, and with a degree of professionalism.
Still...there was still special about this that separated it from any other kind of job, for Honami. She just…
She just didn’t expect to have so much of herself tested, over just how much she did care.
“Yoisaki-san?” Two knocks against the bedroom door earned her the quiet permission from the other side to enter. Opening the door gently, the drummer peeked in, spotting Kanade in her usual chair, glancing over at her rather than the trio of computer monitors set up on her desk. “I made some lunch, if you want. Asahina-san is still out, but I put some away for her if she wants it later.”
“I see...sure, let me just…” Saving her progress, Kanade slipped her headphones off from around her neck and set them down before standing and joining Honami in leaving the room. Honestly, it was a little late for lunch, for most other people. Kanade’s sleep schedule was erratic, though. She and her group worked late nights, so Kanade’s days, when she wasn’t keeping herself up working, was the time for sleeping. Between Honami and Mafuyu though, she had actually been sleeping a little more than she used to. Still...according to the composer’s work schedule, around now was a pretty normal time for something like lunch.
Taking a seat at the table once in the kitchen, Kanade watched Honami as the housekeeper picked up the plate of neatly made sandwiches and set them in the center of the table, offering Kanade an empty plate as she did so.
“Thank you, Mochizuki-san. Ah...but, you should eat too. If you haven’t yet, that is.”
“Hm...I suppose. I did make plenty for everyone, there should still be enough for Asahina-san as well.”
“I’m sure there will be.”
Honami smiled a little bit, reluctantly taking up the offer and sitting down as well. Really, no one in this house was a particularly big eater. Especially not Kanade. Though, she’d been eating a little less recently than she was before. Her progress still went back and forth, it seemed. When Honami had first started working here, Kanade was a list of things that were wrong. She barely ate, she didn’t drink enough water, she worked herself too hard and too much, she hardly went out...over time, and with Mafuyu’s interference, those things began to improve.
But...it wasn’t a straight and narrow road to recovery. She had her ups and downs still. She had more downs lately than settled well with both Honami and Mafuyu, in fact. But maybe...that’s to be expected of a young woman who still didn’t know how to push forward.
Kanade took a bite as Honami reached for her own sandwich. “Thank you, as always.”
“Of course.” Honami glanced at Kanade as the composer began to eat. It wasn’t as if she felt there was something she could do for Kanade. Well—apart from what she already did. She’s already had this struggle before. The worry that she could be overstepping, or that she was crossing a line with someone who was only supposed to be a client. But, that was the thing, wasn’t it? Kanade clearly wasn’t just a client at this point. She was someone a bit more personal to Honami than just that. Despite all of that...she just didn’t feel like she had as much ability to be there for Kanade as her closer friends did. She didn’t feel like she could contribute as much.
“Mochizuki-san?”
“Huh?”
“Is something on your mind? You keep looking at me.”
“Oh! I’m sorry—no, it’s nothing. I’m...spacing out a little bit, I guess. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Kanade grinned a little bit, shaking her head. “I was just making sure.”
A bit flustered, Honami fell quiet and simply finished her sandwich. Once they were both finished, Honami collected Kanade’s plate and her own to go clean them off. She nodded at Kanade’s offer to put the water on for some tea.
“I did put a couple of new boxes in the cupboard, if you want to look at what’s there now.”
“Oh! Thank you.”
“Mhm!”
Smiling, Honami dried the dishes, mood lifting just a little bit from earlier. Things like this were routine here at this point. The meals, eating them with Kanade, and sometimes Mafuyu as well, bringing them tea or other things that they were interested in...Kanade liked it when she brought flowers for her to keep around her house or supplies for making candles. Mafuyu liked it when Honami had reports of interesting new aquatic plants she spotted around stores that the quiet young woman might want to try having in her aquarium tank.
It felt oddly...domestic? That felt awkward to think. Very awkward. Awkward moments like that happened to her more often too. Was that a normal development? She didn’t consider Kanade the same kind of close as say...her bandmates, who had been her close friends since childhood. But she was close, in some different way. Honestly, sometimes she couldn’t tell if it was just a one sided closeness or not. Kanade was always a bit hard to read, aside from that exterior of kindness she had when she was trying to be more...pleasing, to someone else.
Still, when Honami was here as often as she was, she got to see the sides of Kanade, and even Mafuyu sometimes, that others didn’t get to see as easily, it felt.
Drying her hands, Honami sighed, glancing at the water, then Kanade. “Hmm...I’m going to get a bit of air, okay?”
“Sure.”
Putting the towel down gently, Honami headed over to the front door, fighting the...odd feeling she had. As if maybe she should consider doing something else instead. No, that’s silly. Just a passing feeling, honestly. Shaking her head gently, she opened the door, lifting her gaze, and...froze.
She held the front door open for a moment, stopped in her tracks as she briefly took in the sight of...an entire person there. Strikingly similar to the young woman inside the house, there was something somehow paler about this one. She stared at Honami with lighter blue eyes, disinterest painted all over her face with no hint of any other emotion.
Before she could properly take anything in, Honami shut the door on reflex. Something in her gut told her to. Demanded it. Like, if she kept the door open, she would...invite something in, somehow.
“Mochizuki-san? Is everything okay?”
“Everything is fine! Sorry about the slam, I wasn’t really paying attention to how hard I shut the door. Um...I’m actually going to give the back a quick look, okay? I think it’s been a while since I’ve kept the yard, so I should make sure nothing’s amiss back there.”
Kanade glanced at Honami, then nodded with a small shrug. “If you feel you need to...thank you, Mochizuki-san. As always.” She offered a small smile—one that Honami returned more genuinely. With that settled, she seemed fine with finally leaving Honami alone, heading back into her room. Breathing out, Honami rubbed the side of her face and looked around, eyeing the front door a moment before turning to make her way to the opposite door instead. Maybe...maybe if she went around, she could still see who it was, if they were still hanging around. Maybe she should call the police? But that felt hasty...she should just...ask what they wanted.
But...why did they look so much like…
Swallowing, she opened the back door and grimaced, slightly widened eyes taking in the sight of that same person from before. This time she was knelt by the empty, small plot of dirt, eyeing it curiously before Honami’s presence finally seemed to register to her. Slowly, her head turned, those same, pale blue eyes once again staring directly at her. Silent. Patient.
“...um...is there…who are you? You’re...trespassing, at this point, ma’am.” Why did she make her feel so uneasy? Honami needed to be firmer about that fact. Some stranger shouldn’t simply be loitering around this property. It belonged to someone. She needed to treat it seriously. Her phone was in her pocket. Sliding a hand into it, she pulled the door shut behind her, only taking her eyes off of the stranger for a second as she stepped outside. Yet, when she looked back—the odd woman was directly in front of her now.
It took everything she had to hold back the small scream in the back of her throat. How did she get here so quickly!? Now that she was closer, it was hard to ignore the odd details. The pale blue eyes. The white, long hair. Skin as white as new notebook paper—inhumanly pale. Three connected star-like figures hovered next to the side of her head, like some kind of detached accessory. Stranger still was the strange...choker? Necklace? Regardless, it resembled sharp bramble, wrapped around the figure’s neck, clearing digging aggressively into her skin despite the absence of any blood. Honami swallowed, unable to fully process the thought nagging in the back of her head.
She looks exactly like Kanade.
“You’re speaking to me.”
She sounds like her, too.
“W-well...yes. You...shouldn’t be here.” Legally? Or...that she shouldn’t be here, at all? Honami wasn’t sure which ways she meant even as she said the words. “Who are you?”
She stared for a moment, expression unchanging, body unmoving. “...Who do you see when you see me?”
“You’re…” Honami grimaced again, though she tried hard to restrain the movement. This made her….viscerally uncomfortable. She was speaking to someone she shouldn’t.
What does that even mean? “You’re not answering me. Who are you? I...I’ll call the police.”
The stranger blinks, as if acknowledging the words more than she did before. Tilting her head just a little bit, she gives Honami a look of doubt, somewhere within her disinterest.
“That’s because you think you already know. I don’t need to tell you.”
Something in Honami freezes up. Like a chill that was settling into the space the two of them occupied. Maybe it was there from the start though, and she hadn’t noticed. She...she wouldn’t accept that. That was ridiculous. This is ridiculous.
“You need to leave.”
The woman stepped closer, leaning in enough to force Honami to step back hesitantly.
“We’ll see.”
What? Her hand touched the door behind her, that flight feeling from earlier coming back to her suddenly. The figure seemed to notice, and simply...stepped back again, eyeing her curiously.
“...this isn’t about you. You don’t have the say in whether I stay or go, either, I’m afraid.”
“Mochizuki-san?” Kanade’s voice called out from inside the house, making Honami flinch. The young woman’s gaze flickered towards the door, and the housekeeper felt a strange pang of...fear. Paranoia, better put.
“I’ll be right in!” She grimaced, giving the stranger a look before she quickly turned and rushed through the door, shutting it behind her once she was inside. Looking around, she spotted Kanade at the edge of the kitchen, looking back at her.
“Hey. I’m going to head back to my room, okay? I left your tea on the table.”
“Okay. Thank you.” Smiling, Honami just nodded, waiting until Kanade disappeared beyond her bedroom door before letting her shoulders slump and breathing out. Walking over to the table, she slipped into a chair and leaned forward, resting her arms on the wood for a moment before reaching for the tea and letting the aroma of peppermint and vanilla reach her. How nice.
Maybe it was best she call it a day after this. Maybe she was just tired. Maybe she would just leave and go to sleep later and this would all just be forgotten or just some very strange...dream. Things like this didn’t happen, after all. There’s just no way.
The quiet chime in her pocket catches her attention. Sighing, she pulls her phone out and sets it down, opening her texts as her other hand lifts the mug to her lips to take a sip.
[Are you sure you’re feeling okay? You can just go home early if you want to, it’s okay. I don’t think much needs to be done anyway.]
Kanade. Honami smiled against the mug, feeling just a little bit of earlier’s anxiety chip away upon realizing the composer practically read her mind without even being in the same room.
[I might, I’m sorry. I think I might just be tired. I’ll put the sandwiches away, please let Asahina-san know they’re there along with what I made you two for dinner.]
It was sweet of her to worry at all. About her housekeeper, of all people. But then again, maybe they were friends after all. Letting her attention drift back to her tea, she let herself relax a little bit more as she finished it up and washed the mug. Putting away the sandwiches was a simple enough task. The last thing to do, was to...well, leave, she supposed. She did do a quick survey of some of the house, making sure she wasn’t leaving anything particularly out of sorts. Eventually, she found herself back at Kanade’s bedroom door, giving it a gentle, single knock.
“Yoisaki-san? I’ll be leaving, okay?”
“Have a good night,” Came the response from the other side. Satisfied, Honami nodded.
“You too.” Stepping back from the door, Honami went to collect her jacket from near the front door and slip it on, and soon enough she was back outside, shutting the front door and making sure it was locked behind her. Walking down towards the street itself, she hesitated for a moment, her own blue eyes taking in the frighteningly familiar visage of a short young woman a few feet in front of her. Staring at her, once again. With her hands held behind her back, she now looked...a little more normal, though the identical likeness to the client she had just left the house of still left Honami’s mind reeling a little bit. She frowned, almost feeling disappointed at the confirmation that this wasn’t just some...wild hallucination or dream.
Looking her over, she even wore the same clothes. The track jacket, the shirt and shorts—if not for her paper-white skin or the lighter colored eyes, Honami would simply think it was Kanade herself. Notably, those odd stars were still hovering next to her head, and she still wore that bramble around her neck, though it was much more choker-like now.
“You...changed.”
“You seemed frightened.”
“I’m confused.” It was a straightforward statement. Honami continued to walk, but the girl simply followed alongside her. “...please tell me who you are.”
“I can’t. I do not have a name to give.”
“You said...you said that I could see you.” Why was she speaking to her? Some part of her didn’t want to know at all. She didn’t want to pry. She was scared to. Yet...she was too scared not to pry, too. The reasons lingered in the back of her mind like a dreadful nightmare. An assumption that she could only hope was just her own wild imagination.
“I did. You’re the only one who can.”
“Are you...some kind of ghost?”
“No, not at all.”
Honami took another breath, looking up for a moment. Lowering her gaze so she was looking forward again, she frowned, slowing to a stop. “Why are you telling me so much?”
“I have nothing to hide. I’m only here for what I came here for. I do not know when the time to collect it will be. But if I am here, then perhaps it won’t be much longer.”
Honami grimaced, folding her arms, one under the other. Glancing over at the unusual girl, she frowned, opening her mouth for a moment, then closing it. Try again.
“...what are you here for?”
Once again, she was staring right at Honami. Into her, it felt like. Staring at those eyes made her feel so...heavy. Exhausted. It made her feel distant from herself, like she could be spirited away to someplace else without another moment to realize, if this stranger so willed it.
Maybe...maybe that was the case.
“I’ll ask again. How do I look, in your eyes? You ask me questions that I think...you already know the answers to.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat. That’s not what she wanted to hear. The truth isn’t what she wants to hear. Honami breathed in slowly, averting her eyes and turning away a little bit, arms dropping and hands shoving themselves into her jacket’s pockets.
She was fidgeting. She was trembling. The figure tilted her head subtly, continuing when Honami didn’t respond.
“Death is a natural thing, is it not? Regardless of what causes it, it happens to all of you, sooner or later.”
“That’s--!” Honami caught herself, and lowered her voice with a huff, almost scoffing at her. “This is too soon! She’s...I-I can’t believe that.”
“Can’t you? If you know such a thing, surely you’ve been by her side enough to realize.”
“I…” Jerking a hand into view, Honami let it rub at the side of her face, a shaky breath giving away how uncomfortable she was with this conversation. With this confrontation. “Realize what?”
“That girl—Kanade Yoisaki—has been asking for me to come here for years now.”
That anxiety was coming back to her, suddenly. Honami wasn’t stupid. She knew how Kanade was. Of course she did. It was part of why she did so much in the first place.
“I have been here before, countless times. Times when I was not sure if it would be the last or not. I would always leave just as quietly, realizing that...no. This time was not meant to be it, no matter how much that girl hoped it would be. But...this is different. When I leave again...I do not think it will be alone.”
Honami’s jaw clenched, eyes drifting to the ground. “H-her health is fine. Sure, there’s a problem now and then, but...we always catch it and help her. And…”
“This...has nothing to do with the health of her body. Death can come in many forms.”
Yes, she knows. She knows, dammit!
She catches her frustration, and shakes her head, forcing herself to take a breath. “Stop...stop following me.”
“I merely felt you wanted answers.”
“And I got them. Thank you.” Her answer was curt. “But...I can’t let you do this.”
“Hm?”
“You—you won’t be taking Yoisaki-san anywhere.”
“That is not for you to decide.”
“Oh I know that. But I don’t care. I’ll figure something out. I’ll do something.” She grimaced, looking over at the eerie girl with a surprisingly determined kind of frustration. “Anything. I’ll see that you leave empty-handed again. Understand?”
“...not at all.”
Honami blinked, making a face at the girl. Well...well yes. Of course she wouldn’t. That didn’t change the fact that Honami meant what she said, though. “It doesn’t matter. Either way...Yoisaki-san has...so much to live for. She has so much life ahead of her. I want her to see it, and...I-I don’t know. I just know—she doesn’t deserve to die. She can’t.”
“Is that not what most humans like you call...a selfish desire?”
“...it is. It’s very selfish.”
‘Kanade’ held her hands behind her back once again, her eyebrows raising just a bit. “You are...much more honest than she is.”
Honami looked at her again, surprised. Exhaling sharply, Honami smiled just a little bit. It’s a bit of a bitter smile. She still felt...heavy. She still felt shaken up and scared as hell. She felt a lot of things right now. “I know that. I do try to be.”
“Hm...very well. It is not my place to interfere regardless. I’m merely an observer, I’m only here to wait until it is time to collect and guide the soul I came here for. The fact that you can see me is simply an unexpected development. In the end...what happens is simply what is meant to be.”
Honami supposed she could consider herself lucky that she even got so much as a warning, in exchange for seeing a person like this. A...what? Some kind of angel? A reaper? Death, herself, maybe? She might as well be, to Honami.
“I will remain here. Near this property only, since it’s where she resides.”
“I suppose you’re telling me that I’m going to see you again.”
No answer, but that was certainly the intent. Like an uninvited guest. Honami closed her eyes for a moment and sighed, turning away and starting down the road again. “Fine...I’ll...see you again soon, then, I suppose.” Hopefully, not for too long.
Not if she could help it.
The girl wasn’t following her anymore. The unnatural chill in the air was replaced by the more natural bite of the night air, finally allowing Honami a moment to properly breath and sort out of her thoughts while she waited for the tension to leave her stiff shoulders.
Did Kanade really want to die that badly? Even after all this time? Even with the friends that she’s made?
Why...what was the reason? What more was buried there, that Honami wasn’t allowed to see? Was anyone allowed to see those layers at all?
If she wanted to stop this—if she wanted to help Kanade at all, then she would have to find out. That was...definitely overstepping some boundaries, no doubt. But...this isn’t about her job anymore. Something precious to her was being threatened. It’d be taken right from her fingers if she just stood idly by, like she did before when she let her own fears estrange her from her own best friends. But Kanade...she would be gone. That left a terrible taste in her mouth, and a gut-wrenching feeling in her stomach. The reality of it made her sweat, despite the cold.
It terrified her, so, so much.
She didn’t want to lose her.