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It always started like a dream: as if he was just in the middle of it.
Just there.
But it wasn’t a dream.
It was a memory.
Part of a memory.
This time, Keith was training with the other paladins on the Training room. It was hard working, and it was easy to lose himself inside his memory. Almost as if it was real.
The perfect illusion.
Keith destroyed one of the training robots with Hunk. They made a great team and they laughed together.
- End training! – Allura’s voice ringed above their shouts. She was smiling – Good job, paladins! You are improving!
Lance grinned.
- What are you talking about? We were all awesome from the very start!
They all laughed while Coran gave them the nutritious after training drink that they liked to call alien Gatorade.
Shiro leaned on Keith with a playful smile. Keith felt himself relax into the touch and he sighed contently.
- I think this is all for today. – Allura declared.
Hunk and Lance were out as soon as the words left her lips, laughing about some joke. Pidge left talking with Allura and Coran about an experiment she wanted to do with the Galra intel that they had.
There were only Keith and Shiro in the room now.
That was when the illusion begins to crack.
(It was always there when it cracked).
Shiro, in a very relaxed way, put a hand on Keith’s thigh. He moved his finger gently, in a way that made little goosebumps rise on Keith’s creamy skin.
- Are you feeling naughty today? – Shiro asked, lips very close to Keith’s left ear.
The younger man shivered.
- What do you have in mind?
He knew that Shiro’s behaviour was only the illusion cracking. The real one would not make that proposition (at least not on those conditions).
But fuck everything if Keith didn’t needed that make believe.
Shiro kissed his neck, just above the paladin’s armour undersuit.
- I was thinking about… you know… going to some… more exposed place…
Keith hummed.
- Where exactly?
- How about near the Castle power crystal? I would love to see you reflected all over it.
He caressed Keith’s waist.
Keith sighed.
- I don’t think it is a good idea, Takashi.
Shiro turned Keith’s face gently so they would be facing each other.
- Baby, please…
And he kissed the Red Paladin’s lips.
That was the final blow.
The illusion was broken.
It was broken because Haggar was never able to mimic Shiro’s kiss.
(Or any kiss for what mattered).
It always had a sharp edge that a normal kiss wouldn’t have.
Keith sighed annoyed and looked to his left, to the direction that a shadow watched the tender scene. It would be almost invisible to an untrained eye, but he had been on that situation so many times that he just knew where the druid was.
- That is enough Haggar. – he said annoyed – You are not going to take any information about the Castle crystal from me.
Fake-Shiro looked at him in confusion.
- Baby, who are you talking to?
Keith stared to the soft brown eyes of his fake lover.
(That was the part that hurt the most).
He swallowed his pain and said with as much strength as he could.
- You are not real. You are not even part or my memories anymore.
The magic dissolved itself. The training room and Shiro became shadows around him.
Keith’s skin was still purple.
He was still part Galra.
He didn’t know how or why, but he was part Galra.
And his friends, his family, had kicked him out of the Castle for being like that. They thought he was the one giving their position away, which would explain the constant Galra attacks.
Alone in the universe, the Red Paladin was an easy target to be captured by the Empire.
He was recognized and immediately brought to Zarkon’s ship.
Keith believed that Zarkon wanted to use him a bait. He laughed quietly, while he stayed on his cell alone.
After a while, the emperor realized that he was wasting his time waiting. So he settled for the next better thing.
Trying to force information out of him.
Giving Keith to Haggar to interrogate.
In the beginning, the witch used the common ways of torture: pain and mutilation and sleep deprivation and food deprivation.
Keith never thought he would resist for so long with his mouth shut.
Unbowed.
Unbent.
But not unbroken.
Keith felt like he was falling apart day by day. Dying one little piece per moment.
Many things kept his mouth closed.
Pride.
Fear.
Anger.
And the utmost of them: Love.
He had been alone and orphan of any form of love for too long. Voltron was the only family he had ever had.Even if they didn’t loved him anymore and tossed him aside like trash, he still loved them. He would trade anything to be with them like the old times (with his cream skin) once again.
Haggar noticed that.
Hence, her new form of torture.
First, she just tried to infiltrate in his mind, but apparently, Keith was more pig-headed and impossible than what he gave himself credit for.
Then she started to pick an easy memory from his mind. Something harmless that he was not focusing on protect, like dinning all of them together, moments on their training or the nights alone with Shiro. Something unimportant to the Galra empire. She would let the memory scroll naturally for a while, to try to give Keith a sense of ambiance. Then she would change it to subtly try to take information from him without his knowledge.
However, Keith always noticed.
Because her perfect illusions were not that perfect after all.
There were always small mistakes.
The stiff way Allura would pull her hair behind her ear.
The clawed ways Lance’s hand would bend.
The tense posture Hunk would always have.
The exaggerated and fake laugh Pidge would have.
The cruel shine in Coran’s eyes when he looked away.
The sharp edge on Shiro’s kiss.
Small mistakes that his touch starved mind would identify immediately.
Keith was weak.
He would always stay there for as long as he could.
Just to see his family again, to feel their love.
Even if fake.
Even if for a few moments.
Soon enough, Haggar realized his sweet spot for Shiro, and tried to make use of it.
Keith still resisted.
He was kneeling on the floor, magnetic cuffs on his wrists behind his back. He stared at her unimpressed.
The witch glared and clenched her fists.
- You stubborn child!
Keith just shrugged. He was too exhausted for that.
- Maybe it is time for something more powerful. – she threatened with an evil grim.
He was still not impressed. He had been mutilated many times by now. She would always restore his body so they could start again. He had scars, but he was in one piece.
He was so broken that he really didn’t care anymore if he lived or died. (Although he preferred the latter option).
- Take him to his cell!
And he was dragged back to the prison.
Laying on the floor, Keith would have cried if he ever had one single tear to give.
He had already cried too much.
He felt too empty to cry.
What was the point?
He was nothing.
A nobody in a cell, with a heart too big for his own good.
Should he just split it all out to her?
It would surely end his misery, but his love held him back.
Keith closed his eyes and wished he could just die already.
It would be better than that.
(He would have tried to do that himself, but there was no way to die on that bare cell. Even trying to starve wouldn’t work because they would force feed him. It was hopeless.).
His sleep was disturbed by the sound of explosions.
He rubbed his eyes.
An attack?
On Zarkon’s main ship?
Wow.
Someone must have a death wish.
Keith laid down again.
It probably would be contained soon.
He should get some sleep.
However, there seemed to be people screaming and fighting on the prison hall. He could hear the cell doors being open one by one.
Keith protected his ears and turned his back to the door.
Whoever they were, they could kiss his ass.
His door was opened abruptly.
Keith didn’t even moved to see who it was.
He just heard a soft gasp and steps running towards him.
- Oh, my God! – Shiro turned him around and hugged him as if his life depended on it – Keith!
Keith groaned annoyed and pushed him away.
- Haggar, seriously?
Shiro looked at him confused.
- Keith, she is not here. You are safe!
The younger man sighed in annoyance. He stared directly at those soft and desperate brown eyes and said the phrase that usually would end that illusion.
- You are not real. You are not even part or my memories anymore.
But the illusion stayed there, unfazed and clear as day.
The older boy’s eyes went wide.
- What are you talking about, Keith? It is me! Shiro!
Keith groaned.
- So this is the game you want to play now, Haggar?
There were sounds of fighting on the corridor.
Lance’s voice called.
- Shiro! Hurry up, man!
Keith pushed Shiro again.
- Seriously, Haggar. You didn’t even fixed the bugs from your previous mind fuck play. Just let me sleep.
The Black paladin stared at him at complete loss. The prisoner just laid down again, turning his back to the illusion.
Oh, but Shiro haven’t given up just yet.
- We met at the Garrison. – he tried – You beat all my records on the flight sim.
Keith groaned.
- So now you are trying to corrupt my memories from Earth too?
The older boy made him turn around again to face him.
- Then, please! Tell me how to prove that this is real?
- Figure out yourself!
- What were the bugs she didn’t fixed?
The younger man rolled his golden eyes.
- As if I’m going to tell you. You are not even real.
Another blast on the corridor.
- Shiro! – Pidge called this time with the same urgency.
The Black paladin looked at the prisoner in frenzy.
He grabbed Keith’s face and kissed him in the most desperate fashion.
Soft and gentle. Tasting just like Keith remembered.
No sharp edge.
There was no words to describe Keith’s confusion and disbelief.
He broke the kiss with eyes wide in shock.
- Shiro?
Shiro, the real Shiro, smiled in relief.
- It is me, babe. I found you.
He hold Keith again, and this time Keith hugged him back.
Keith could feel tears in his eyes again.
After so long without feeling nothing but pain, now he was feeling so many things that his eyes watered and he felt like he would start sobbing pathetically at any moment.
Another blast at the corridor and twin shouts.
- SHIRO!
Shiro tried to detach himself of Keith to shout back, but Keith whined. So the older boy hold him tighter.
- We are coming!
He caressed Keith’s back.
- Baby, can you walk?
The younger man shook his head, not trusting his voice at that moment.
- Ok, I will carry you on my back ok?
He tried to detach himself again, but Keith whined again.
He was so afraid.
Afraid it was all a dream.
Afraid that he would never hold Shiro again.
Afraid that it would all vanish as soon as he let go.
- Keith, baby, I’m not going anywhere without you, ok? But I need you to help me, ok? We need to go.
After a few moments, Keith agreed. Even if it was painful to let go of Shiro’s arms, he quickly offered his back to the younger man to climb. He held into Shiro and into that reality as if his life depended of it.