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“HUH?! ARE YOU AN IDIOT!? THREE WHOLE DAYS?!”
That was the petrifyingly loud remark that the entire Danno household was awoken to on that certain Sunday morning.
“C’mooon, Hana, just play along for a couple of days, then we can go right back to normal! Promise! Please?” The sharp eyed man pleaded with the enraged, ponytailed woman in a sing-songy, clearly not that sorry voice.
Hana, who currently wore a terrifyingly frustrated expression on her otherwise soft face, stared down the grey haired man, and also her "husband" for all intents and purposes. The man's name was Dera, and she was stuck with him until further notice.
“Seriously… what a massive pain in the ass.” Hana exhaled under her breath, knowing all too well that this was also her responsibility, as much as she wished she could just refuse.
Dera clasped his hands together “You're the best, Hana!”
“You act like I have a choice.”
“Heh. I'm counting on you.” Dera nonchalantly flicked a bead of sweat away from his forehead, “Seriously though, I promise it'll be a piece of cake. I'll be good!”
A long sigh filled the air as the early morning sun slowly trickled through the blinds of the quaintly decorated living room, their heated “couples quarrel” coming to an end. Just as Hana had gotten up to make another pot of coffee, footsteps approached from the hallway to reveal a blonde, teenaged boy, rubbing his eyes as he had just been woken up.
“Whoa. That's a serious case of bed head, Yuru” Dera remarked. This boy, Yuru, was Hana and Dera’s “Son”... for all intents and purposes. The boy yawned and stretched his arms up as he spoke. “Ugh… what the heck was Hana yelling about? It's so early.”
Dera smirked, his coffee mug held to his mouth. “Gotten a bit too used to those luxurious lowlands tatamis, huh?”
Yuru frowned. “Seriously though, it's 6am.”
Dera was about to speak again when Hana approached from the small kitchen with a fresh pot of coffee, setting it abruptly, almost too abruptly, on the table, right next to Dera.
"Well… It seems like the Danno household will be taking a little vacation!” Hana spoke in a flowery tone, but there was clearly still a ferocious rage behind her cracking smile.
Yuru stared at them with a blank expression. “... A huh?” This was met with a collective facepalm from both Dera and Hana, who sighed in unison.
“Right…” Hana put her hands on her hips as she spoke. “A vacation. It's sort of like… Uh… A fun trip with minimal responsibilities?”
Yuru looked mystified, but nodded, clearly wanting to know more about this so-called 'vacation.' “Is that even allowed?”
Dera got up from his seat to put his hand on Hana's shoulder as he spoke. “Not just allowed, but encouraged! Right, Hun?” He said as he looked at Hana, who was ready to bite the man's head off.
Ignoring whatever beef Hana currently had going with Dera, Yuru spoke again. “Ken should be waking up soon, too.”
“Good. Now sit down and have some breakfast, you.” Hana pulled a chair out for Yuru.
As the smell of burning toast and ambient chatter filled the room, Dera’s smirk slowly fell into an ambivalent frown behind the safety of his coffee cup, which was drawn to his lips. He couldn't tell Yuru that the real reason for this last minute “vacation” was actually because he heard a tip from the Kagemoris that there was an assassin who was able to locate both Yuru and the Danno household. No, he had to retain his composure- that was his duty as an adult, and as Yuru’s guardian. Both Dera and Hana knew this well.
Dera set his coffee cup back down, quickly regaining his nonchalant composure. “It’s a three day trip, we’ll be staying at a hotel. My treat.”
“More like the Tadera family's treat” Hana said, grinding her teeth as she set a plate of comically burnt toast in front of Yuru, who was obviously perplexed by how you could even enact such violence on a piece of bread.
“Jeez. My wife sure is mean.” Dera whined in a playful tone.
“We'll be taking the bullet train. It's about two and a half hours.” Hana flatly stated, ignoring Dera.
“A bullet... train?” Yuru said, still staring at his burnt toast. Hana really dreaded having to explain yet another modern feat of technology to him, so she opted for the much easier reply.
“It's like a car, but it's longer and has even more horses in it. It goes super fast.” Yuru sat there for a second with an unreadable expression on his face, and then nodded, content with that explanation.
“Ohhh… I see.”
Just as things were winding down, Ken approached from the bedroom hallway. “Oh, good morning Ken. You want some toast?” Dera jokingly held out the burnt toast to him as an invite to sit down and catch up on what he missed.
After a short explanation, Dera clapped his hands together and stood up. “Alright, I think it's time we started getting ready.”
“Wait.. We're leaving today?!” Both Ken and Yuru exclaimed in tandem.
“Oh, heheh, I forgot to mention that part, Dera winked as he flashed the pre-bought bullet train tickets that were in his pocket this whole time. “Don't worry! I already got everything ready for the both of you.” He pointed to the haphazardly packed bags in the corner by the doorway. “Go take a bath and get ready and we can head out shortly.”
As Ken and Yuru both got up and headed to clean up for the day, Hana put a palm to her head.
Dera’s smile dropped once again as soon as they were out of sight.
“Is this really the right thing to do…?” Hana postured.
“Well, We don't really have any other choice, Hun.”
“I know… “I just…–” Hana trailed off. Dera immediately recognized this apprehensive look in her eyes- she was nervous, and he was too.
“It'll all work out. How can things go wrong when I’ve got the world's best wife by my side!” Dera said, trying to remedy the mood. Then, after a pause, he spoke again in a more serious voice.
“...I'm not going to be the type of guy who lets a bunch of blood hungry vultures ruin a kid's life for power. I owe him that much. We owe him that much.”
Hana sighed. “Yeah. We do.”
A long silence passes before Dera spoke again.
“Oh, also, I forgot to mention this before, but I got us a couples room. Just to make sure not to raise any suspicions. We're “married” after all.”
…
“...WHAT?!”
A flock of birds flew from the telephone wires outside the Danno household. This was going to be a long three days.