Chapter Text
“Avery, what's in your inventory?”
“What?” Avery faltered.
Why did he ask that, his inventory had been cleared of nearly everything earlier, what was even the point of checking?
“What’s in your inventory?” D3rlord3 repeated.
He was insistent. Maybe he knew something Avery didn’t, with infinite knowledge and all. Maybe he saw a way out where no one had to merge with the King, where they could both escape together. Avery was hopeful and he trusted D3rlord. They would make it out alive, standing by each other’s side.
Avery opened his inventory, looking for anything that could possibly help. Nothing. Nothing but a few moss blocks, a boat and his sword. Why did he even bother checking, it wasn’t like-
A flash of red in the background of his screen brought his attention back. Avery tried to regain his feet but all that came of it was a jumbled string of letters through chat. His feet left the platform as he plunged into the void. Realization sucked all the breath from his lungs. D3rlord3 had punched him.
D3rlord3 had punched him off.
“WAIT”, he yelled into chat, but it was far too late.
Too late, too late too late, too late. No no no no no no… NO!
It couldn’t end like this, it couldn’t, not after everything.
Avery mashed random keys, trying anything, anything to get back up to that platform. He tried switching back into creative.
COMMAND DENIED.
Of course it didn’t work, stupid. Stupid, stupid, STUPID. HOW COULD YOU HAVE FALLEN FOR THAT YOU IDIOT. HOW COULD YOU LET HIM DO THAT? YOU REALLY ARE NOTHING AREN’T YOU?
Avery's thoughts twisted in his head, a suffocating grip that pulled the air from his lungs. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe. He was trapped, there was nothing he could do. A message pulled his eyes back to the screen.
“Until next time friend.”
A final goodbye, short and sweet. Derek was really doing it. He was really sacrificing himself so Avery could live.
Why couldn’t he be selfish the one time it mattered? Why couldn’t he just let Avery take the fall? For once, why wouldn’t he himself be saved? Avery’s eyes burned, hot with unshed tears. Surely that couldn’t be the end. It couldn’t be. The fall hadn’t killed him yet. If he could just find a way back up there-
A piercing scream filled his ears, corrupted and terrible.
“YOU IDIO̷̺͔̐T̸̖̚. YOU RUINED Ë̴̡̛́V̵̞̣͕͊͠É̶̩́̂R̶͎̈́̏͠Ẏ̸͉̻̐T̷̺̟̻͛̊Ḣ̸̪͇̥̍̃Ĭ̶͚̣N̵͍̣̽̏̚G̵̙̚͠
Screeching radio static followed, the voice fading away. What replaced it was a bright, golden light that filled the void, small at first, growing ever larger. It painted the cracks in the infinite expanse, a visual representation of the corruption in the crumbling world of Hastur’s creation. The flaws of the infinite laid bare as the world folded in on itself.
Images filled Avery’s head.
He saw the perilous dance of two neutron stars as they collided, a shower of colour that illuminated the depths of the universe.
He saw a charge of static electricity thrumming through the fine hairs on a bee as it pulled itself through the particles of air.
He saw the formation of covalent bonds between two oxygen atoms that filled his room.
Avery saw the beauty of the universe in the duration of a millisecond. Not nearly the knowledge of infinity, only the pieces that slipped through the cracks. But it was enough to know the expanse of the world.
He fell from his chair, the world giving an alarming jolt. Avery retched as bile climbed up his throat, a sour taste filling his mouth. He felt dizzy and lightheaded and he squeezed his eyes shut, a carousel of images passing through his mind. His body shook violently and he covered his ears with his hands. Everything was too loud, the world was too bright, it was all too much.
He didn't know how long it was until the wave of dizziness passed and Avery opened his eyes. If he had infinite knowledge, it didn’t hurt nearly as much as Derek described. Despite a constant pain behind his eyes, a constant sensory overload he couldn’t control, it didn’t feel like his head was going to explode. It was disorienting and it made his head spin but he could still think clearly.
Well, clearer than he thought he would.
It didn’t feel like a million facts were stuffed into his head, instead it felt like he could see beyond what was in front of him. He could see how everything worked, the tiny intricacies of creation, yet he didn’t entirely understand why they worked. Avery wasn’t overwhelmed with a feeling of existential dread but the beauty of a world he was yet to explore, a world that existed despite an unknowable whole his mind couldn’t comprehend. An indisputable truth.
Maybe that was the difference. Maybe that was why he could look away, why it didn’t feel like his head was going to explode, despite the sensory overload.
He had to find Derek.
Avery remembered something D3rlord3 had typed in chat earlier. He said it was nothing, but with all that had happened, there was a fat chance he was telling the truth. Wifies had mentioned something about strings of letters and numbers leading to Google Drive links in his previous video. Maybe that would be a good place to start? It had to lead to something. It just had to. He couldn’t have left nothing, he couldn’t be gone right?
His Minecraft launcher had crashed during the fall through the void but his recording had been saved, albeit cut when it arrived. Avery tried to ignore the fact he was now acutely aware of every photon that emitted from his laptop screen. In the dark room it wasn’t as bad, but that might be a problem when morning came. He turned the dark mode on regardless.
He skipped through the footage, his hand shaking as he scrolled through the recording. Avery flinched as he passed the thirteen hours spent in the garden outside the church. That poem, that message in the book. Avery could see how it stripped away a person’s identity now. How it drowned him in despair. He would have to censor it before sending it to anyone.
No one should ever have to feel like that.
The footage skipped again until Avery first encountered D3rlord3, the random string of text appearing in chat. A folder appeared in his mind’s eye and he winced. That would take some getting used to.
He opened the folder on his laptop. It contained a video, being Derek’s footage, and a google document containing a YouTube URL. Avery’s breath hitched when he saw the title. One final video, titled “Goodbye from d3rlord3.” Avery hovered his mouse over the link for what could have been eternity, before he finally clicked and let the video play.
Y’know, it’s weird writing a final letter. Almost as if I have to come to terms with… whatever this is. Which is something I find quite displeasurable. The words barely registered in Avery’s mind.
My head hurts like hell. I can feel myself slipping as we become one. And my mind becomes a prison. Oh Derek, how could I let this happen? How could I have been so stupid. SO incredibly stupid. Surely you hate me and wish I took your place instead. Maybe then I could be some use instead of some stupid college dropout-
Please don’t think you failed, Avery.
The words hit him like a truck. His vision blurred as hot tears ran down his face. He bowed his head, unable to keep watching. His breath was unsteady, ragged gasps that he could barely keep going. Avery sucked in a breath of air and let Derek’s message continue.
When you read this, don’t think you let me down. You didn’t. Thanks to you, and all that you did, millions will live to see another day. How could he say that? All I did was screw things up. You were the one person I was meant to save. And now you’re gone.
And thanks to you, I got a chance to see all the beauty of the universe. Things I never knew were in the world. Or could be. A chance no human will ever get again. I’m grateful that I saw it all. Even if it was just for a little. Avery felt himself tearing apart. He couldn’t do this. Not this. But Derek knew exactly what to say. Exactly how to comfort a grieving college student in his final moments.
You’re capable of great things. You’ll do great things. So believe in yourself. And I don’t just say that because I saw it. It doesn’t take a god for me to figure that out. I know it because I know you. Avery could see Derek giving him a small smile as he wrote that line and Avery let out a small chuckle, a shaky breath following.
Goodbye my friend. Whatever you do at the crossroads. Keep going forward.
Or something like that. (I was never really good with endings.)
A quiet thunk followed the end of the recording.
Avery couldn’t hold his tears back anymore. He wrapped his arms around himself as he let out a wordless cry, his throat burning. All Avery wanted to do was curl up on the floor and grieve, sinking into his despair.
Just like he did before.
But, he couldn’t do that to Derek, not again.
A tiny voice whispered at the back of his mind. It felt comforting, warm. It told him to keep going, that everything would be okay.
But he had to get up. It wasn’t over. The drive was only posted a minute ago. He was still alive, if only just. Derek could still be saved. Avery just had to find him. He sucked in a deep breath, like he’d sometimes do when preparing for a big Skywars Tournament. (yeah just like that, just like that, focus on that.) He scrolled down from the video and was met with the channel name.
dhutchins333
Was that your name? Derek Hutchins?
A flood of information followed and Avery shut his eyes against the flood, clenching his jaw so tight it ached. Images of a man Avery had only met in Minecraft. Smiling, crying, screaming. Hiking, at a graduation ceremony, figuring out a recently patched exploit. A knight, a poet, a lover. Tending to a garden, giving a lecture, bleeding out on the floor. Everything he could possibly be. Anything that could ever happen or would never happen, at least not in this timeline.
A single image was at the forefront of the onslaught. A constantly shifting vision that seemed to blur, a camera focusing on an ever moving subject. Derek was slumped on the floor against his chair, hair an unwashed mess, his frame much frailer than the previous pictures had indicated. His eyes were closed, his brow furrowed with pain. Blood dripped from his mouth and nose. He looked still. Almost like he was dead.
No, no, he couldn’t be.
He tried reaching towards Derek, but his hand passed harmlessly through the apparition. A cold sensation swept up his arm and Avery shivered. He tried taking Derek's hand in his own, holding out against the cold. He tried to inject as much warmth into his hand as possible, to try and cut through the darkness. He thought of the time they had spent together, however short. The way Derek never blamed him for his shortcomings, his thoughtful words that pulled him from the brink and the way he never faltered, even in his final moments.
“Please.” Avery whispered.
"Please."
The apparition stirred, a quiet sigh escaping his lips. His chest rose and fell but his breathing was shallow and sweat gleamed on his forehead.
Avery cried out in relief. He was alive, he was really alive…
But he wouldn’t be for long if Avery didn’t find him.
Fear clawed up Avery’s throat. How could he possibly find Derek? He could be miles away.
That hadn’t stopped him before. Even if he was in a different universe or stuck in an entirely different reality, Avery would find him and make sure he was okay… And then give him a piece of his mind for being a self sacrificing idiot.
Avery had an idea. It was probably stupid but what else was there to do?
He took a breath and closed his eyes. If he could see visions of things thousands of light years away, maybe he could see where Derek was.
Sweat beaded on Avery’s forehead as he tried to shift the vision outward. Pain began to build inside the edges of his skull, a pressure that pushed at the edges of his consciousness. Avery pushed further, outside the room Derek was sitting in. Outside the small house his sight was trapped inside. The walls seemed to constrict his sight to the confines of the building, stopping him from viewing anything further. As he pressed against the wall, pain exploded across his temples, causing him to collapse to the ground, shuddering violently. Something sticky and warm dripped down his face from his nose. Avery pushed himself back up, gritting his teeth. He had to do this. For Derek.
He tried again, this time remaining steadfast against the wave of pain that smashed into him. Avery dug his nails into his palms, forcing his consciousness against the cage that held him captive. His body quivered with strain, pain lancing across his skull, threatening to break it apart. He wouldn’t stop. Not until he was out.
Derek needs me. Derek needs me. He needs me he needs me-
Light from beyond the room began to filter through Avery’s vision. He reached for the light, letting it pull him into the cold of the night. Streetlamps illuminated the road as his eyes darted around the street, desperately searching for any identifier he could use to find the location. He spotted a street sign on the side of the pathway, reading the name of the block. Carcosa Circuit. GOT IT!
Avery’s consciousness came rushing back, pain exploding through his head. He lay splayed on the floor of his apartment, blood roaring in his ears. He coughed, the taste of metal filling his mouth. He tried pushing himself into a crawling position to no avail, his body protesting any sort of movement. Avery whimpered, covering his head with his arms, trying to get the pain to stop. Was this how Derek felt after having infinite knowledge stuffed inside his brain? He had to get to him. The address was only an hour away. Avery could make it there in half. Slowly, Avery shakily pulled himself into a crawling position.
He didn’t have time for this.
Fighting back a wave of nausea, he got to his feet and clutched the wall, dragging himself towards the cupboard. Surely he had some painkillers somewhere. He reached onto the shelf, grabbing a box of paracetamol. Avery swallowed the two tablets straight, wincing as they scraped along his throat. That would have to do. He threw the laptop into a bag, along with his phone, snatching his keys as he sprinted out the door, ignoring the spike of pain it sent careening through his body.
Hold on Derek. I’m on my way.
Hold on.