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Day 1
Ayan has been at Suppalo’s school for a couple of months now, finally settling in with the new environment. There were still moments where he got lost around the school, but he gathered a small group of, he supposed he could call friends, to help him with that.
Just before first lesson would start, Aye decided to go to his locker and put the books he didn’t need for today tucked in the back for another class.
As he fumbled trying to find his keys, he noticed something peeking out from his locker. It was sharp and had a coral tinge to it. Ayan, naturally curious to see what the unidentified object was, pulled on the smooth texture of paper and revealed…a sticky note? He didn’t remember putting that in there. His eyes darted to the ink engraved on the note, eyes skimming over every letter written in neat handwriting.
hi, Ayan! you look cute today…
– secret admirer
“what?!” Ayan verbally choked out loud, unable to contain his shock at the fact that he had a secret admirer. him? he knew he was good looking but he never had anything like this in his previous schools.
He couldn’t stop the small grin playing up on his face, it felt nice for someone to notice him, admire him in secret, it made him feel like he was in a rom-com fantasy novel.
With a weight off his shoulders from all the heavy books he stuffed in his locker, he was now carrying a whole new dilemma as his mind tried guessing who this anonymous crush could be. He waddled off to lesson, far happier than when he entered the school gates.
Day 2
As much as Ayan was curious to check out his locker to see if maybe there were any new notes, Thua asked to meet him before class so he could hand him some homework he was absent for.
He strolled the crowded halls, eventually finding Thua near the english department.
“hey, Thua.”
“hi, Aye. here’s the homework you missed, it’s pretty easy we learnt it last module.”
“thank you, Thua.” Akk gave a friendly smile as he took the piece of paper, putting it into the depths of his bag.
Thua sensed his somewhat agitated state, curious as if he had anything on his mind.
“are you settling in okay?”
“yeah, uh- very well actually…” Aye stopped, debating if he should let Thua in on his little secret. He concluded that Thua seemed harmless and wouldn’t tease, so he let his big mouth spill the drama. “i even have a secret admirer!”
“a what?” Thua asked, looking utterly clueless. Aye just had to fill him in, who knows, he might be able to help suggest who it could be.
“someone is stalking me, but in like a romantic way. They left a note in my locker yesterday telling me i looked cute! isn’t that adorable?” Aye exclaimed, over the moon he finally wasn’t the one chasing after his love like a hopeless romantic.
“oh, right, that sounds creepy.”
“hey!” Ayan rolled his eyes, finding his cliche secret-love-plot far more appetising to believe. “do you know who it could be?”
Thus pondered on the thought for a moment, going through the catalog of people that could have their eyes on Ayan. No one stuck out so unfortunately, he’d have to be the one to disappoint Aye.
“hmm, not that i can think of, sorry.”
Ayan huffed, looking down to the floor with exaggerated dissatisfaction. He quickly sprang back to life, remembering his earlier mission to go back and check his locker.
“that okay, i’m going to go check if there’s anything new today, bye Thua!”
Thua blinked blankly at Ayan, disappearing into the crowd of students, and went back to sorting out his timetable.
Ayan finally reached his destination, the end locker at the deserted part of the school. Nothing was poking out of his locker, but he didn’t lose hope yet. His key turned in the rusted lock, flinging the door open and to his surprise, finding a drink he usually bought at the vending machine standing tall in the middle of his locker.
There was a note on the side of the carton of apple juice, he picked it up and read carefully; still skeptical about how the mysterious admirer got access to his locker.
i saw you drinking this yesterday, so i bought it for you. i also like this juice, i wish i could share it with you.
– secret admirer
Aye had the same stupid smile he had yesterday, treasuring every word this anonymous person was telling him, finding it utterly adorable. He wish he knew who was behind the lovestruck notes.
With the juice carton in hand, numbing his fingers as they wrapped around the edges tightly, he waltzed into class with a fat grin. He sat beside another one of his newly formed friends, Akk. Akk was a prefect, but beyond that he was kind, caring, and kind of cute - actually, very cute. Aye would always playfully flirt with him and watch him become all flustered, but he felt a little guilty if he continued that while someone was watching from the sidelines, thinking they didn’t have a chance.
“i’ve never seen you so happy about quantum physics.”
Aye chuckled, flashing the juice carton in his face as he took a sip, letting the cool amber liquid hit the back of his throat. Akk wayched as he gulped the liquid down, his eyes fixed on the way his adam’s apple bobbed with every swallow and his forearm muscles tensed when squirting the polyethylene layers for the juice to drop into his mouth. A light flush scattered on his face but he snapped out of it when Ayan spoke again, furrowing a brow at his expression.
“not that, but i found out i have a secret admirer.” Aye battered his eyelashes in a dramatic manner, bragging at every opportunity he could grab ahold of to flex his unknown watcher. “infact, they bought me this!”
Akk’s face remained neutral, slightly frozen as he tried to come up with his next batch of words.
“cool, do you know who they are?”
“no…it would be nice to know who cares so much about me, though.”
Akk swallowed, unable to entertain his conversation for much longer. He was saved by the teacher coming in and greeting the class, zoning out through half of the class as Ayan’s words repeated in his head; sounding so sincere and curious.
‘it would be nice to know who cares so much about me, though.’
if only he knew.
Day 3
Ayan was late to school that day, so to his misery, he didn’t get to go check his locker. He had a double first lesson too, so he would have to wait a whole two hours to see what he had in stock for him today.
Ayan apologised for arriving late and slumped down on his chair with a sigh. Akk noticed and wondered if Ayan had gotten a new note from his alleged ‘secret admirer’.
“Hey, Ayan, did-“
“i told you, you can call me Aye. it makes you actually sound like my friend rather than my mum.” Ayan interrupted, sensing the awkward relation between them; Aye wanted to be friends, or maybe something more, but Akk was stubborn and played hard to get.
Akk couldn’t help but chuckle at the correction, now reiterating his sentence to fit Aye’s standards.
“alright, Aye, have you received anything new today from your stalker?”
“they aren’t a stalker!” Ayan hollered defensively, catching a few people’s attention before they returned to the work. “but, no. i haven’t had time to check yet.”
“oh, okay.”
Ayan noticed the diminutive tinge of disappointment in his tone, assuming he wanted to follow along with his dreamy love tale, or perhaps he was even jealous because he wasn’t getting love notes everyday.
“do you not find it a little strange?” Akk asked curiously, obliviously nosey to Ayan’s business.
“no, i think it’s cute.”
Akk was surprised by hearing his response, turning to the side as he struggled to wipe smirk off his face as the corner of his lips tugged further apart.
after class, Ayan made his way back to his notoriously famous locker, twisting the key to see what was behind the rectangular, metallic block today.
His eyes adjusted to the dark shadows of the locker, eyes locking on the petite object above yet antithetical sticky note, this time a diamond blue colour.
It was a bracelet. Shiny, marigold gemstones shimmering in the Bangkok sunlight that was peeking through the elevated windows. It looked handmade, Akk found himself absolutely smitten over the idea of someone putting thought and effort of making him a gift, instead of just buying flashy and expensive items, in hopes of winning him over.
He rolled the bracelet onto his wrist, fitting perfectly, analysing the little beads that spelled out his name, a sun ornament added at the end.
He picked up the familiar texture of the sticky note, one he grew fond of receiving recently, his eyes scanning each handwritten word.
i made this bracelet for you, and the sun reminds me of you; always beaming and tempting to look at. can i be your moon, Aye?
– secret admirer
Ayan felt himself melting on the spot. He was dying to know who this person really was, sweet talking like this in secret had to be illegal. He glanced back at the note, taking in the words again and again.
would the moon ever reveal itself?
Aye stuck the third note on the inside of his locker door, starting a collection just for his secret admirer to see every time they dropped by in their routine. Ayan looked back at his bracelet, smiling at the irony of the golden bracelet against his sun-kissed skin.
Day 4
As expected, Akk was at his locker once again at 8:24am. Excited to see what could be hiding in there, he swung the mini door open but to his letdown, nothing was there. no note, no gift, just empty space.
He knew feeling annoyed was ridiculous, someone was doing this out of their free time and will, but it was disappointing when nothing was there to enlighten him, it felt like something was missing. Guilt started rippling through him, feeling like a greed striking jerk.
A sigh battled effortlessly from Ayan’s lips, slamming his locker shut and making his way to first lesson. He tried not to dwell on the thought of his mystery observer giving up on his after a few days.
As he slumped down in his chair, the defeat look still prominent on his face, Akk turned towards him and couldn’t help but smile, asking why Aye seemed so moody.
“what’s with you?”
“nothing, just…my secret admirer didn’t leave anything today!”
“it’s still early, give them a chance.” teased Akk, nudging Ayan’s shoulder playfully, his touch warm and lingering.
“but they always show up in my locker before 8:30.”
“i think you’re just paying too much attention, that’s obsessive.” Akk chuckled, enjoying Ayan’s fussed behaviour way too much.
“maybe i am obsessed, but it’s cute!”
Akk chuckled, entertaining his ridiculous delusions. His eyes traveled down to his wrist, spotting the new bracelet he was wearing, a light flush sprinkling on his warm cheeks.
“what’s that?”
Aye diverted his attention back to Akk, scanning over his face as his dark chocolate hair fell in the way of his boba-like eyes, the oblivious look he was conveying was so…
ugh, what was he thinking!
His eyes followed Akk’s gaze, pointing down to his wrist and he quickly perked up, ready to brag about his latest addition of gifts from his secret admirer.
“oh, this? my secret admirer made it for me, they even said i remind me of the sun! isn’t it cute?” Ayan battered his eyelashes with dramatic intent, showing off the bracelet like it was a trophy.
“mhm, very cute.” Akk agreed with a gapping smile, looking straight in Ayan’s direction.
As lunch time approached, Aye pondered on Akk’s words and maybe he was right. His secret admirer could be running late or ran out of sticky notes?
Aye didn’t want to pry but it wouldn’t hurt to check his locker once more. So, as the bell rang and everyone headed off to get food, Ayan found himself back at his locker.
What he didn’t expect, was to see someone by his locker, someone tall, someone familiar.
Akk.
Ayan froze as he peeked around the corner, a bundle of thoughts zooming across his frontal lobe,
why was Akk at his locker?
should i say something?
was he his secret admirer?!
Before Ayan let his thoughts overtake him, he made the indecisive decision to confront Akk! Stepping closer towards him, Aye sneaked towards the taller and cleared his throat with theatrical volume.
Akk yelped at the unexpected company and immediately turned to face the direction of ruckus, hiding his hands behind his back. His gaze was met with Aye, looking eager to scout some confrontation.
“Aye, hey- uhm, what are you doing here?” Akk stumbled through every word, the tip of his ears turning a deep pink shade, becoming a complete mess.
“going to my locker, what are you doing at my locker?”
“just…looking around.”
seriously?
looking around?
that’s the best thing he could come up with?
Akk wished the ground would swallow him whole as his sentences only became more jumbled, his knees feeling like jelly and his face only continued to burn up.
Ayan wasn’t buying his suspicious answers, his eyes wandering down to his hidden hands and back to his flushed face, raising an eyebrow in playful offence.
“uh-hu, so what’s behind your back?”
Ayan’s eyes traveled back to his face only made Akk feel more flustered as he felt his gaze burning through him. All Akk wished for was a way to escape this nightmare.
this was his nightmare.
His eyes locked onto Ayan’s slip figure, overly aware of how close he was approaching and that was his final straw. He flung a folded piece of paper to Aye’s chest, feeling his fingers brush over his own, and darted out of the department.
Ayan stood still while blinking at his now viewable locker, purely dumbfounded.
what just happened?
His gaze flicked down to the paper he was now holding against his chest, examining the cute little ribbon along the side with some text written in bold. A questioning look spawned on his face, trying to work out what today’s ’gift’ was exactly. Realisation suddenly dawned on him…this was a love letter!
To Aye,
finally calling him by his nickname? cute.
i saw you today wearing my bracelet, it made me smile and blush like an idiot. I have some many words i want to tell you, but when i try talk to you my words become jumbled and i turn into a complete mess. My whole body feels like it’s on fire yet frozen in place like ice at the same time whenever you’re around, but you still manage to make me melt in seconds just like the sun. I really really really really like you Ayan, it’s a shame i’m too much of a coward to ever admit who i actually am.
– secret admirer
As his eyes followed every word, every smudge of ink, he felt his heart aching. Akk had been holding all this inside and he had no idea. All the times he playfully flirted with him, it was probably fuelling Akk with flase hope.
was it really false hope?
He wanted to run after Akk, tell him everything, assure him he like him back, but his legs stayed fixed in place; unable to pick his feet up off the floor, cemented there by his own shock.
Ayan remembered to breathe, still blankly staring at his untouched locker as he tried to think of what to do next - nothing coming to mind.
Day 5
Akk’s absence didn’t go unnoticed yesterday, Ayan looking between his empty seat and the door just in case he decided to show up, However, he did not. Ayan felt an unexplainable emptiness knowing he turned a blind eye to the one person that was desperate for his acknowledgement.
Aye couldn’t focus today either. He wasn’t sure if Akk was in but some part of him wasn’t hoping he was. He wanted to settle this with him, put his worries to rest, but he couldn’t do that if Akk was avoiding him.
As their break approached, Ayan took a quick trip to his locker to put some books he no longer needed in there, not because of his ‘secret admirer’ influence this time.
What he didn’t expect, was another sticky note in the centre of his locker. His stomach flipped at the sight, a spark of excitement igniting in him while threatening to set his whole body on fire.
He picked up the note, fiddling with the corner in anticipation as he read the blunt message.
meet me on the rooftop at the end of the day.
–Akk
there it was. his moon, shining bright and open for him, this time he wasn’t letting the chance slip through his fingers. he was meeting his secret admirer.
Akk.
Ayan couldn’t contain himself for the rest of the day, his mind floating to all the possibilities of what could happen later that day. Despite his playful and cocky exterior, a small amount of nervousness lingered around, unsure of what Akk was planning exactly.
As soon as the bell rang, students dispersing out of the gates, Aye headed up to the rooftop, the real adrenaline starting to set it. He wasn’t sure why he was feeling like this, his heart jumping with every step he took, his legs feeling numb and the increasingly annoying urge to fix his hair or jacket every five seconds.
Once he got to the double metal doors, he mentally prepared himself by taking a deep breath and pushing himself out into the descending sunlight.
The warmth of the summer breeze brushed against his face, refreshing him as his eyelashes fluttered at the sight of somebody facing away from him.
Akk.
Hearing the doors creak from behind, Akk swiftly turned around, eyes wandering up and down his small figure, unable to stop himself. He took a deep breath and let Aye approach him, standing a little too close to his personal space; not that he minded.
“hey, uhm- i read your letter.” Ayan blurted out, his mind still circling back to every meaningful word written on that piece of paper.
“oh, yeah, uhm…”
“so you’re my secret admirer?”
“mhm…” Akk mumbled, his own embarrassment catching up to him and he wished the ground would swallow him to the core of the earth.
“and all those things you wrote-“
“i meant them.” Akk blurted out, cutting him off and analysing the way Ayan’s face softened, looking just as blissful as whenever he would read one of his notes. “i really did, i just…couldn’t tell you in person so i wrote them down…and hid my identity.” Akk shamefully muttered, his gaze fixed anywhere but Aye.
Ayan nodded along, his expression full of patience and growing pupils - taking in every fragment of Akk’s adorable, flustered confession. - Akk caught onto his prolonged silence, taking the hint to continue, only problem…he didn’t know what to say now so…
“i like you Aye, well you already know that and- ugh.”
Akk was a complete mess. Something about Ayan just made him forget how to form a coherent sentence and he was in the verge of walking away, begging Aye to forget this ever happened. Just as the thought started to sound somewhat reasonable, a soft and recognisable chuckle came from the smitten boy in front of him.
“it’s okay, take your time.”
Something about Ayan’s reassuring tone comforted Akk’s racing mind, his shoulder’s slumping down from their usual tense and heightened state.
“so, would you maybe want to…go on a date with me sometime?”
The momentary silence terrified Akk, bracing himself for the worst as his eyes shift back to Ayan, searching for any sort of pre-warning.
What he didn’t expect, was to be met with another pair of lips against his, gentle yet inviting. His eyes widened with pure disbelief, pinching himself to make sure this was real.
oh, it was real.
His long lashes soon fluttered shut as he leaned closer to Aye, his body fitting against his perfectly. His hands functioned faster than his brain, finding their way to Ayan’s waist as they perched themselves on the dips of his hips.
As he caught himself deepening the kiss, his mind still full with blooming fireworks of ecstasy and the taste of Ayan, he abruptly took a step back and snatched his hands away from him; missing the touch but he knew he was getting ahead of himself.
“i- uh, sorry. i shouldn’t have-“
Aye didn’t give him another chance to get into his own head, pulling him back into another stellar kiss, stars filling his vision as took in every flavour of Akk’s lower lip. Feeling the way Akk felt so relaxed yet tense as his hands settled back onto his waist, his touch so delicate and fragile, made the world around them stop spinning.
He couldn’t stop himself from grazing his tongue along Akk’s glossy lips, his arms wrapping around his neck as he leaned impossibly closer; not sure if it was his heartbeat or Akk’s that was ringing through his ears.
A chuckle slipped between the kiss, Akk raising a brow and peaking his eyes open slightly, revealing the glossy, boba-like circles. After they pulled away, breathless and chuckling at each other’s own euphoria.
“so…is that a yes?”
“seriously? yes!” Aye smiled, ear to ear, at his dumbfounded look while asking - convinced it was a trick question.
Ayan kept his arms wrapped around his neck, meeting him in the middle in a warm embrace and resting his head against the broad shoulder.
“you’re an idiot.” Aye muttered into his blazer’s shoulder padding, finding Akk’s shyness utterly charming. “i would have said yes from the start, no need to hide behind anonymous notes and sweet gifts.”
“sorry.” Akk nudged his head and locked his gaze with Ayan, getting momentarily lost in those deep hazel irises.
“don’t be, it was still adorable.” Ayan teased.
“Ayeee.” whined Akk with an even more adorable pout on his lips, making it difficult for Ayan to not kiss him again.
A whimsy smile reappeared on Ayan’s face, taking in every bit of Akk’s reciprocated grin, making his heart jump with admiration.
“well, let’s get out of here, want a ride home?”
“yes please.”
Ayan shot one last wide grin before slipping his hand into his and dragging him back into the building and down to his car, giving him a lift back home. Akk felt relieved at how things turned out;
no more secret admiring, instead, more very obvious admiring.