Work Text:
Will had just finished a solo performance at some random venue in town, and he was feeling a bit hungry. So he decided to go to Big Fat Bitchie’s, his favorite restaurant that could always be counted on for lukewarm food and bad standup comedy.
He walked through the doors, taking a seat and waiting for somebody to take his order. He doodled some things in his lyric book while he waited, mostly rats and skulls and tapeworms.
About that, don’t let them tell you that pop stars don’t have tapeworms. Because some of them do, actually.
Will closed his book as a waiter approached. “Hello, sir. How may I serve you tonight?” the waiter asked, pen and notepad poised as he prepared to write Will’s order down.
Will already knew what he wanted. He ordered it every time, after all. “I’d like the smoke and hearts with a sprinkle of Parmesan, as well as an apple thing. And some water, please.”
The waiter nodded, writing everything down. “Alright then. I’ll be right back with the water, and your food should be out not too long after.” Will nodded, and the waiter walked off. He was gone for a minute or two before returning with the water.
He poured the water out of the pitcher into Will’s cup. “Here you go. It’s from the watercolor sea, specifically in ‘The Corner Where You’re Born in The Mist’. It’s the freshest water you’ll ever taste.”
Will took a sip of his drink, letting out a satisfied sigh. “Yeah, it really is. Thanks.” The waiter nodded, then walked off once again.
The water was so good that Will downed it all in 30 seconds flat. “Mmmm, tasty.” he said. He went back to doodling as he waited for his food to arrive, a few dandelion seeds hitching a ride on the breeze as the door opened nearby.
Once he finished doodling, he sat still like a normal human being (that he could never be) and waited patiently.
A few minutes later, the waiter returned with Will’s food. He set the tray down in front of him, which had a broken heart with tendrils of smoke around it on one plate and a strangely-shaped miniature apple pie in the other.
“Thank you, you’re a great waiter.” he complimented. The waiter nodded again. “It’s my pleasure.” The waiter started to leave, but he noticed that Will’s cup was empty. He grabbed the pitcher, raising an eyebrow. “Would you like some more water, sir?” he asked, obviously a little concerned about how fast the water was gone.
“Uh, yes please. I’d like it half-full. And I’ll probably just drink that too.” The waiter poured the water, but he stopped just short of half-way.
Will looked him dead in the eye. “This is not enough.” he said with the seriousness of someone who had been through a war.
The waiter started to pour more water, making it at the exact half-way point. “Alright, that’s enough.” Will said.
But the waiter didn’t stop. He kept pouring it until it made it to the very top, on the verge of spilling. Then he walked away like nothing had happened.
Will just watched, letting out a sigh as he started to eat his food. The smoke and hearts was cold and had no Parmesan, and the apple thing was actually full of blueberries. Great. They’d given him a blueberry pie instead of an apple one.
He stood up, straightening his coat. “Alright, that’s enough.” he said with a huff “Let’s get you home.”
He left and got into his car, and proceeded to leave. Why did he keep coming back here?