Chapter Text
Two people were sitting across from each other at the dining table. The pale young man had nothing in front of him while the older thiren was leisurely eating his medium rare steak with vegetables on the side. The younger one seemed to be bored to his wits and the older one wasn’t helping at all to quench his boredom so he broke the silence as he usually did.
”Tut-tut Lycaon ” Hugo disapprovingly shakes his head.
“You were already an annoying bastard, so you becoming a sad and annoying bastard truly irritates me.” Hugo pauses a bit, wanting his speech to be more dramatic.
“Did my death really affect you that much?” He ponders as he asks. Lycaon ignores Hugo while he continues to eat his dinner but someone with keen eyes could see how unconsciously he gripped the fork and knife strongly. Of course, Hugo noticed the shift.
“Oh well” Hugo stretches his arms
“The thing is that I know I am dead but” he paused for theatrics. “...I don’t remember how I died.” Hugo leans to Lycaon across the table like a cheshire cat and whispers to Lycaon’s ear
“Can you enlighten me my dear ?”
While his ears twitch, Lycaon still ignores Hugo as he finishes his dinner. Hugo’s head ticks annoyingly and sighs. Then as if he is struck by lightning, Hugo jumps on the table and exclaims while Lycaon gathers the dirty dishes on the table and carries them to the kitchen sink
“Maybe I am a figment of your imagination eh Lycaon? Maybe you're becoming an old dog made you lose the last screws, which in your case there were only a few of them” Hugo snickers
“That's a possibility I believe it's true” Lycaon quietly replies as he cleans the dishes swiftly.
“Well, are you planning on getting rid of me as you did before?” Hugo snidely says. He wanted to get a stronger reaction from Lycaon because this older Lycaon was getting on his nerves by being damn so calm!
Lycaon dries his hand with a towel, he turns his head to Hugo as if he is acknowledging Hugo’s presence for the first time. He let a big sigh before gazing his eyes onto Hugo with sadness and tiredness in his eyes
“How could I want you to leave, my dear?” he mimicked the way Hugo talked. He struts toward Hugo and stops in front of him. He raised his left hand with the intent of caressing Hugo’s face with devotion and tenderness. He knew that he could not do that even if he wanted to so he left his left hand frozen in mid-air. Hugo looked at Lycaon’s hand with slight confusion before he looked at Lycaon’s face with uneasiness
“Even if you were a ghost coming to disturb me from the very heights of heaven, or...” Lycaon spoke the next thought, his eyes took on a different shade of red. “Even if you're just a product of my imagination...” Lycaon took a deep breath and smiled bitterly.
“I’m glad to see you Hugo, I really do”
Hugo couldn’t say anything to this intense exclamation. So he only ended up murmuring to himself bitterly.
Its funny you think there is a possibility of me coming from heaven as you left me alone like I was a demon that was tainting your ideals
Lycaon remembers vividly how he met ‘this’ Hugo. For his job required, he would wake up before dawn even rise. But instead of waking to a soundless world, he heard a familiar voice talking quietly.
“Ah, he has grown more handsome than I could ever think of. With the way he used to style himself I would expect a white mop, not a man that came out of special firefighter calendar”
With a nimble speed Lycaon found himself in a defensive stance toward the intruder. He couldn’t believe what he saw.
There he was, Hugo, who was wearing his classic white striped purple clothes looking bewildered at him with his mismatched eyes open like an owl. But this Hugo is younger than he remembered. The last time he saw Hugo he was way taller and had longer hair, also he was-
He must’ve looked ridiculous as Hugo’s shocked face broke into laughter, clutching his ribs as if he saw the funniest expression on Lycaon. With his sight and melodious laughter, Lycaon thought that he was witnessing a miracle. Oh, how he missed this…
On that day onward, they acted like nothing was strange, as if Hugo always lived with Lycaon in this cozy household. However, some things were obvious to the eye, as Hugo seemed to have memory loss. According to him, he only remembered the whole time he was with Lycaon and Jack, as well as bits of time he spent with the Ravenlock family. He has no recollection of the time they were separated, and he doesn’t even remember the time he spent with the purple-haired girl who has a striking resemblance to his deceased sister.
“What kind of person is she?” Hugo asked him when he and Lycaon were chatting about Lycaon’s coworkers. Lycaon explained to him that after Hugo’s death, he offered Vivian a part of Victoria Housekeeping, which initially she refused, as she already knew the history behind Lycaon and Hugo. And the fact that Lycaon was the same person Hugo-
Lycaon was surprised to see how Vivian was attached to Hugo in a short amount of time they seemed to spent together. But it shouldn't be a surprise as Hugo was a one-of-a-kind person who had an avalanche-like effect on people.
In the end she reluctantly joined Victoria Housekeeping as she had her own reasons to join and the Mayor didn’t seem to be bothered by Vivian’s past with exaltists. Later on she was used to being around her coworkers and even seemed to enjoy their presence aside from Lycaon. Vivian seems to be still wary of Lycaon. But both of them had an understanding with each other that no one else could understand; they both love Hugo in their own way (love should be said in the past tense right? Since that person is no longer here, a cruel voice chimed in Lycaon’s mind).
“She has a certain quirky personality and she is multi-talented in vast areas. I truly admire her for that. No wonder you two get along well. But I wish that she didn’t have the stubbornness like you have “ Lycaon tried to mutter the last sentence but with Hugo’s amused expression, he knew that he was being heard.
He coughed in his hand and tried to change the topic
“Have you regained any of your lost memories?” There was a slight hope in Lycaon’s eyes when he asked that...Hugo didn’t like that look at all. So he stretched his arms lazily and spoke in a relaxed manner
“Does it truly matter what I say? Even if I know I am real, for you it could be just a trick your grizzled mind is playing on you as whatever I could say could be made up in your imagination Lycaon.” There was a dangerous glint in Hugo’s eyes as he raised his voice on Lycaon
“You were always a delusional person and now that you seem to have some weird thoughts, I advise you to see your doctor for a schizophrenia test” Hugo said without pausing.
No emotion could be seen in Lycaon’s face as if he was expecting that kind of answer. But Hugo must’ve seen something in Lycaon’s eyes that made him regret what he said, even if he wouldn’t admit it. He slowly walked behind Lycaon and tried to hug him from behind but his arms passed through Lycaon’s body. To see that he cannot touch Lycaon, as he already knew this fact before, didn’t mean that it didn’t cause a heartache.
Hugo spoke softly unlike his usual demeanour
“The thing is Lycaon, there is no need to discuss the past as I don’t want to dig over most of them possibly being painful memories. I am fine with the way I am right now, so don’t worry about me you old fool as I am not some damsel in distress” Hugo said the last sentence with forced cheerfulness
Lycaon looked toward Hugo's with an acknowledging smile as he appreciated Hugo's effort. But deep down he knew Hugo enjoyed his pain and frustration because deep inside, Hugo was still bitter about Lycaon’s “betrayal”. So even though Hugo felt tortured by his own actions, he wouldn’t be satisfied till he had had enough of Lycaon’s suffering. That’s how petty Hugo can be. But he cannot blame Hugo for his own pain as he also thinks that he deserves his ire too.
They also learned that Hugo couldn’t leave Lycaon’s house and according to Hugo's explanation that his will to go outside seemed to be “nonexistent”. That’s why he spent his days searching every nook and cranny of the house while Lycaon is away.
Lycaon’s job for that day ended early so he immediately went home. And that’s how Lycaon found Hugo watching over his Viola Philippica’s that have not yet bloomed. Lycaon was nurturing these flowers with immense care as he put them in the airy space of his balcony, where they get sufficient sunlight.
“Even though they are not blooming, I recognize these flowers blossoming in the street where our attic was. They smelled lovely didn’t they?”.There was a child-like wonder in Hugo’s face
“They still smell refreshing even if they didn't blossom yet Hugo, won’t you try to smell it?” Lycaon tried to encourage him but Hugo’s face [Are you kidding me?] expression made his attempt halfway.
Ignoring Lycaon’s suggestion, Hugo shifted his gaze to the balcony window. It seems that it would be cloudy and rainy all day. The hollow zero was the only thing that was visible on the horizon as rain clouds blocked the sight of the sun, so everything seemed to be grey and murky.
“You know that I am not the type of person who likes to prolong conversations unnecessarily. So I will cut it short and ask you directly.” Hugo didn’t take his eyes off the balcony scenery.
“Will you tell me now how I died, Lycaon? I believe the elephant in the room has to be addressed before it tramples on everyone in the room. In this case, everyone is just you” Hugo’s talk would seem nonchalant but Lycaon heard the tinge of restlessness in his voice.
“Does it really matter how you-” Lycaon took a deep breath and said the next word with haste as if the word itself caused phantom pain on him “-died”
He was using the same evasion tactic Hugo used but this time it didn’t work as Hugo turned his face to Lycaon with an intense gaze that would give goosebumps.
“Yes, it matters Lycaon as I believe my ‘death’ is related to the reason why you’re so” Hugo waved his hands to the air as if its explain what he tried to mean
“I am so what Hugo? Don’t expect me to understand unless you say it” Lycaon scowled. He sat on his couch,that is amidst the flowers and look into Hugo’s eyes intently.
Hugo stood before Lycaon. “Oh you damn well know what I am talking about you sly old man. Sometimes when you come home, you look as if all your energy has drained and all that's left of you is a shell. The way you respond to my provocations calmly. (Way too calm Hugo emphasized). And let’s not forget to mention the way you look at me. I am having hard time deciphering it but what I understand is that sometimes you look at me as if I will be gone in a second and you fear the notion of it. WHY?” Hugo listed his reasoning one by one.
Lycaon just stood for a moment.Then he massaged his temples as if he had a sudden headache. “I really need a strong drink” he muttered. With a defeated sigh escaping from his lips, Lycaon went to the kitchen to fill a cup of whisky for himself. Then he serenely came back to his couch and gestured Hugo to sit on the couch next to him. Lycaon didn't say a word until Hugo sat down.
“Before that, I would like to ask if you remember what kind of job I do”
“Having memory loss doesn’t mean I have a memory like a goldfish” Hugo deadpanned.
“But since you nicely asked. I know that you are working with that shady Mayflower as he is your oh so graceful new ‘master’ along with your peculiar yet dependable companions.” Hugo made a mimicking impression as if he was deeply thinking about his answer.
“I also know that with your “Master’s” instruction, you and your fellow companions serve the elite class of New Eridu but in fact the real goal is to gather intelligence which I admit that it’s a clever idea.”
“ Apart from serving the elites, under the mayor’s instruction your job requires assisting various factions of the city administration.” Hugo paused a bit then with a knowing smile he added
“But I also know the real reason that you work for the Mayor.” Lycaon's blank stare showed a hint of surprise, which Hugo had been waiting for with satisfaction.
“You truly missed serving me so you had no other choice but to serve to other ‘masters’. But it didn’t satisfy you right? As they give you nothing but gratuitous commands compared to my completely reasonable ones so that you could get some sense to your puny brain. Hugo said it cheekily. Strangely Lycaon seemed to be endeared by his ridicule instead of growling annoyedly at him..
“If this reason satisfies you, then you are indeed correct. How could I find a venerable master such as you that left me with sorrow and an empty space that no other masters filled” Lycaon said with the same dramatic tone Hugo used.
“But I would like to state that one of my recent missions involved the Ravenlock family”. It was Hugo’s turn to be look surprised as his eyes opened like saucers and his long ears unconsciously perked up. Lycaon smiled to himself to see Hugo’s cute expression. With big round eyes and squishy cheeks he looked extra lovely with the surprise adorned in his face.
Swirling the whiskey glass in his hand, Lycaon tried his best to choose his next words.
“I already had eyes on Ravenlock's suspicious activities. They are quietly skilled to cover their tracks so It took me a while to find their flaws.” Lycaon took a sip in his drink before continuing.“It seemed that the new head of the family was trying to invest in ‘new resources’ to restore their so-called former glory and that new resource was organ harvesting. Not only that, they were in cahoots with the exaltists in a project that was a threat to the city’s safety” Lycaon’s current expression was a chilling sight to see which Hugo felt it.
“Mainly Vivian and I handled the task of stopping Ravenlock’s and exaltists scheme and gathering evidence to bring them to justice. And that’s how Vivian and I learned the truth behind the Ravenlock massacre.” Lycaon didn’t need to look over Hugo to see his tensed frame as Hugo didn’t need to see Lycaon’s face to see his guilty face since he revealed that knowing the truth meant that he had accused Hugo wrongly that bloody day.
“Anyways. In the end Exaltists were apprehended and there is no longer a Ravenlock family. All individuals involved in the case, except for the head of Ravenlock, were prosecuted as he is still being treated in hospital.” If Hugo looked deeply in Lycaon’s eyes he could’ve seen the tinge of dark satisfaction.
“Why are you telling me all of this?” Hugo was perplexed. He used to know about Lycaon in a way that even Lycaon himself didn’t know about. But this Lycaon was an enigma to him and he truly hated it.
Lycaon finished his glass in one swift motion. “Excuse my ramblings, today was a hectic for me. I’ll be preparing for the bed.Now please excuse me master Hugo” Without giving any time for Hugo to protest, Lycaon headed through his bedroom.
“Hmph. It seems that the mutt finally learned to evade answers huh” Hugo stretched on the couch.His mind was in turmoil due to all the information Lycaon dumped on him at once. He couldn’t get the answer he desired but to learn that Lycaon knows what really happened at the manor at that time and that the Ravenlock name no longer exists…
He groaned to his hand. He was glad that his one of the goals in lifetime was achieved by Lycaon but that didn’t mean he felt kinda empty. What could be changed even if Lycaon knows the truth now? There is no if’s and but’s for a future for them being together. He was now a history like a Ravenlock name.
Wait
The date of the name Ravenlock is erased and the beginning of his existence…
Could it be?
Blood. So much blood was flowing out from Hartman Ravenlock. A switchblade was thrown at his feet as his assaulter looked at him with no mercy on his crimson eyes which was a strike on his pristine white fur. No, his hands and claws were soaked in his crimson blood.
“Pick. It. Up.” His assaulter said with an eerie voice. He was waiting for Hartman as if he had all the time in the world.
“Please. I beg of you. Show mercy upon me” For a person who never begged for his life. His begging attempt could be commended but he was unfortunate as he was begging for the wrong person. His assaulter had had enough of his nonsense already.
He tried to drag his body across the marble floor. But the combat boot stopped his attempt by pressing down on his leg. A crack was heard, and Hartman's screams made it clear that his leg was broken.
“I said. Pick. It. Up.” His assaulter made it clear that next time he won’t show any mercy.
With a feeble attempt Hartman hastily took the switchblade and tried to stab his assailant's leg but his assaulter kicked his hand and the switchblade flew across the floor.
Another crack sound is heard. Hartman was wailing in the floor holding his broken hand while trying to protect himself in a fetal position.
“Don’t worry, your injuries are not lethal since you need to be alive to be presented at court and get your punishment accordingly.” Crimson eyes bore to his soul.
Hartman couldn’t hold much longer due to the immense pain and fear and he passed out.
With the handkerchief in his breast pocket he started to clean his bloody hands but some of the blood had already dried on his fur which made it difficult to wipe it.
“Tsk.” He should have worn his gloves to avoid this additional headache. He hates to bear any filth in his body especially the times the blood comes from vermin like this. But for this once, he didn’t mind the filthy blood in his hands and claws.
It was truly a shame. He believed for a moment that he could give Hartman’s punishment better than the city administration could ever give.
Yes..Yes...Maybe he ought to be the deliverer of justice. He should-
He woke up with a deep pant. Hugo was sitting beside him, as he is unable to “sleep” so he spends his night either watching tv that Lycaon left it open or just watching Lycaon sleeping. Tonight he seemed to watch him as he was startled by the sudden noise.
“Oi, are you alright old man?” Hugo seemed to be nonchalant, he was always good at hiding his worry with another expression.Deep down he wanted to bring water to Lycaon or check his temper with his hand whether to see if he had a fever or not. But again, he couldn’t.
Lycaon was unable to comprehend what Hugo was saying as he was a bit sleep-drunk for a while
“I’m…fine” he groggily answered. This did not alleviate Hugo's concern. [ Will you tell me what you dreamed?] Hugo’s expression told. Lycaon shook his head which meant [don't worry, it was just a dream].
They sat silently. As time passed, the atmosphere grew increasingly awkward. Just as Lycaon was about to fall back asleep, Hugo giggled mischievously. A brilliant idea had just occurred to him. Maybe he could cheer up Lycaon with that. So he sat in front of Lycaon’s lap
“Well my dear, I know that an old fossil you need your precious sleep”
“But” he tutted.
“Isn’t it boring to go back to sleep in the same way over and over again?” Hugo asked with fake concern
“As a benevolent person, I can help you sleep in another way~” Hugo gave a sultry glance to Lycaon's face.
Lycaon furrowed his brow as he didn’t register what Hugo was trying to imply. Suddenly, his expression turned to shock as he registered “that” expression on Hugo's face. He couldn’t believe what Hugo was suggesting as the tip of his ears became redder and redder.
“How?..” his voice croaked. He couldn't even imagine how this idea could be possible, let alone reject it. Just as Hugo couldn't touch anything, Lycaon couldn't touch him either. Just before Lycaon could protest how wrong this is. That Hugo looked way younger than himself. As an adult, he should stop Hugo from advancing further.
Just as Lycaon opened his mouth, Hugo leaned his face to Lycaon’s ear and made an indecent slurping noise. That stopped Lycaon from whatever he was going to say.
Hugo smirked at Lycaon’s befuddled sight. With that handsomely sculpted face and Adonis-type of body, his confusion really looked ridiculous on him. He knew that the old wolf has a sensitive ears. His puppy should be thankful that he is crafty enough to overcome every type of obstacle.
“Don’t you overthink with your pretty head darling~” Hugo’s face looked delighted as if he had caught his prey.
“With your hearing and sight working, I’m sure we can work this out.” With his eyes, he already undressed Lycaon
“Just” with one swift movement, he was on top of Lycaon as his hands rested on the bed’s frame
“Leave it to me to handle everything.” With that the night was newly begun….
“How?!?” Hugo shouted. His hands were in the air, as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing.
“Me, Hugo Vlad, the master of deception that can wear thousands of faces like it is nothing, a man who doesn't follow the rules any other than his own, as he is the master of himself.” He dramatically started to monologue.
“Not to mention he is as cunning as he is handsome” Hugo added with a smug attitude. But he immediately became irritated as he saw the main culprit of his frustration, looking at him with their eyes laughing while being entertained by Hugo’s antics.
“How could he lose to someone like...like...You!!!” He flounderingly pointed his finger at Lycaon.
“It seems that you finally learned how to play poker, Lycaon. It’s just that you got lucky this time, but don’t think I will be easier on you next time.” He glared at Lycaon with all his might, but he kept to himself that he was impressed with his card-playing ability.
They were somehow able to play card games with the courtesy of Lycaon, assisting Hugo by holding the cards for him
It was a rainy evening. They spend their time together by watching movie, playing cardboard games, and now Hugo blabbering in Lycaon’s ear while he is cooking for dinner.
“So, is there anyone in the work you fancy?” Hugo mischievously smiled at Lycaon as Lycaon himself wasn’t expecting an answer and as he dropped the soup ladle as he was startled. Fortunately, the ladle was dropped into the pot.
“Ahem” he faked a cough to his fist.
“While I do see some of them as a family member (he wouldn’t admit to their face verbally) I do not fancy anyone in the work” he said word by word.
“What about outside of the work?” Hugo was still pressing on this matter.
“No one.” Lycaon said with finality. He glanced at Hugo as if saying [did you really have to ask?]
“Wait.” Hugo looked alarmed.
“Don’t tell me you can be satisfied only with what happened last night?!?” With that comical statement, Lycaon coughed really hard this time. For the food not to be scorched, he turned off the stove.
“I don't see a problem with that.” His neutral expression was disrupted by the redness in his ears and the slight wagging of his tail.
Hugo stared at Lycaon with a deadpan expression. He didn’t know what to do with this ludicrous man.
“You can't expect our lives to be anything but simple, Lycaon.” There was a blaze in Hugo’s eyes. It was so bright that it was stinging Lycaon's eyes.
“You need someone to be on your side, someone that you can trust your back on. A kind of person you would spend your evening together with and show passion to each other.” Hugo felt uncomfortable saying these things but for Lycaon’s sake, he had to do it.
“But aren’t we doing it now already?” Lycaon was asked confusedly. Hugo flinched at this surprise.
“Are you for real Lycaon. I am NOT someone that you need Lycaon. I am not the person you can take out of this damn house or cuddle with. I am not the someone you can ask for to water your plants, introduce to your friends or take care of you when you’re vulnerable.” Hugo began breathing heavily with exasperation. Lycaon wanted to stop him, but Hugo cut him off before Lycaon could even begin to speak.
“Stop looking at everything through rose-colored glasses. This isn’t like you at all. I am someone that is temporary Lycaon don’t you see it?!” He swallowed a breath “Dammit! You aren’t even sure that I am real or not!” He punched the kitchen table but no sound came out of it.
“And last time I checked I was not the someone you could trust.” Hugo looked like he could cry any second.
Lycaon was lost for words. He didn’t know how to console Hugo. He wanted to tell Hugo he hadn’t been this happy for a long time. With Hugo by his side life seemed more vibrant and now he had a reason to look forward to going to his house that once used to be empty.How could he explain that Hugo stole his heart and took it to his grave? Some people can move on and find new love, some people can share their love with more than one person. But there are people like Lycaon who could only love just once and for all.
After Hugo’s burst, they didn’t talk. Lycaon continued to cook his meal and eat it in silence. When the silence became unbearable he excused himself to go to sleep early.
If Lycaon had dared to look at Hugo, he would have seen the doubt on his face. As he drifted off to sleep, he could faintly hear Hugo murmuring.
“The reason you are clinging to me as if your life depends on it, the way you avoid explaining how I died and the way you sometimes look guilty at me…Don’t tell me you murdered me Lycaon?”
Blood.
So much blood was flowing under the huge chunks of rubble that it reached the soles of Lycaon’s feet. He couldn’t register what he was seeing nor did he have the ability to think about anything right now as he desperately tried to lift the rubble.
But. There was SO much rubble.
He clawed and clawed and clawed…There was no end to it as if there was nothing but rubble.
He had to be FAST, there is no time as that person was underneath it. He NEEDS to be fast.
His hands started to bleed and his claws had started to break off. But he didn’t register the pain at all because it didn’t matter. What mattered was under BENEATH the debris.
Lycaon never deemed himself a religious person. But at that moment he was ready to prostrate himself before any deity or even the devil itself. Just please let him save on time. Because he cannot BEAR the thought of-
He woke up with fright to the sound of pitiful sobs. Lycaon immediately got up and checked on Hugo. Hugo was sitting on the couch next to his bed. He was holding his left eye tightly with one hand and his knee with the other.
Wait.
Where were Hugo’s legs? He could see that his grey pants were hollow below the knees. There was no blood on sight either.
“Hugo!” Lycaon immediately sat down on his knees in front of the couch. He tried his best to assess the situation but his mind was fumbling due to the nightmare and Hugo’s whimpering.
With Lycaon’s howl Hugo realized that Lycaon was now awake and worrying about him.
“I’m…fine..don’t you nghh worry,” He said it in grave pain which was not convincing at all.
Lycaon wanted to check on Hugo to see whether his injuries were serious or not but he needed Hugo to do it himself.
Damn this concept of untouchability Lycaon cursed. With pleading eyes he waited for Hugo to show him.
Hesitantly Hugo lifted his hand to show his left eye. But there was nothing but a complete black hole instead of his beautiful iridescent gray eye. Lycaon was heartbroken at this sight as he realized that the loss of the left eye and legs was the exact injuries from the autopsy of Hugo. The pathologist who examined Hugo's body said that he died very quickly to console him, as if the knowledge of Hugo dying without pain could ever bring him a bit of relief.The fact that Hugo is no longer alive gave him a pain that was immeasurable.
Just as he opened his mouth, without realizing Lycaon began to sob out of nowhere. He tried to suppress his crying because what he should do was console Hugo instead of pathetically crying. This is about Hugo not him.
But the more he tried to suppress his sobs the more tears began to flow. His tail was flat as his ears were folded back.His sobs were broken and quiet as if he hadn't cried before.
Hugo was stunned to see Lycaon, a large wolf thiren who is capable of mass destruction with his bare claws sobbing like a kid as he had never seen him crying his eyes out even in Jack’s funeral. In another time, he would take a bit of dark satisfaction to see Lycaon distressed because of him but now he wanted nothing but to stop the horrible whimpers and devastating scene.
But how could he stop Lycaon as he cannot shake him to the sense or hug him until he calms out? As he knew Lycaon wasn’t in a state where he could hear him. He racked his brain for a solution that he forgot his own pain, at least be able to ignore it.
So he painfully watched Lycaon to calm on his own. He was no longer crying but his snot was enlarged and stuffed as well. Aside from sniffing from time to time he seemed to regain his senses. Hugo would normally ridicule his puffy look but he was really drained from Lycaon’s burst and his own phantom pains as well.
He crawled to the Lycaon’s bed using his hands and lay on his side.
“Lycaon.” Hugo softly called him. Lycaon’s ears perked and he glanced in Hugo’s direction with his puffy eyes. Hugo motioned for him to come over and lie down beside him. Lycaon clumsily climbed over the bed and lay in a way that his face was facing Hugo.
They both stared at each other in silence.
“Hum…Humm.. hmmm 🎵” Hugo started to hum. It was a melody that Lycaon hadn’t heard for over a decade. Back in the they would comfort each other when the other felt down. Lycaon would comfort Hugo by tucking him into his neck and purr, the vibration would ease Hugo as Hugo’s humming and caressing the thick fur under his collar would do to Lycaon. He slid toward Hugo until their foreheads almost touched.
He gazed at Hugo as if Hugo were his entire world; he lost himself in those pretty mismatched eyes. But for Hugo, Lycaon being his entire world now was the truth itself. Now he can’t exist without Lycaon’s presence. Lycaon stole everything Hugo had whether it was intentional or not.
“How ironic” Hugo bitterly thought.
He used to think that the only thing he lost to Lycaon was his heart. No matter how much he hated Lycaon, it was just a mere drop to his unquenchable love for him. He wouldn’t admit to
Lycaon that giving this knowledge would leave him completely vulnerable, which he never wanted to experience again.
In the end, they fell asleep by embracing each other.
Ah.
He remembered now what he was doing before Hugo came. Of course, he was living his life. But it was kind of a life that was filled with muted colors and sights. Do you know how colors become muted in the Fall? The sky turns dark gray as if the sun never existed, and the city becomes even colder and more alien, as if it weren't already.
Yeah, it was that kind of mutedness Lycaon was talking about.
There was a void in his heart that caused him great pain. This void would sometimes ease, but there were other times it would appear so intensely that he would struggle to breathe. Working seemed to ease this pain, so he devoted himself to his job. There were times when he worked so much that his colleagues would tell him how attached he was to his job and that perhaps he needed to make time for himself. He understood his colleagues concern, but work was a coping mechanism for him. The friends and family he had gained brought him great happiness, but that emptiness prevented him from truly living.
Just before he met this Hugo, he had a cold like he hadn't had since his teenage years. He was sure of himself that he would be able to take care of himself, so he took a few days off from work. Fortunately, with the Ravenlock and Exaltist case just finished, the Mayor gave VHK Co. a break.
But it seems that he underestimated his cold, he was shivering through his bones and trying his best to stop his teeth from chattering hard.
He couldn’t even breathe properly no matter how much nasal spray he used. So he only ended up taking his medicine and waiting for his pain and illness to subside.
At that point his fever must have been high because he started to have nonsensical thoughts. Maybe he should have captured the overseer of exaltists before she killed herself. That way he could find a way to bring Hugo to life again.
No. He really shouldn't think like that. The way the overseer resurrected her fallen comrades was gruesome and ugly. If he resurrected Hugo that way, he would get a ton of nagging from him.
He smiled wryly at that thought. Bringing Hugo back to life just to hear him scold him. That also reminded him that during his mission to assist a military squad to secure the Waifei Peninsula, he met an odd girl with blue hair. She was mourning for the person she saw as her father figure. He respected her as she was a truly admirable person; she had finally accepted that the person she saw as her father was no longer with her. But he was still with her through his memories and teachings.
Hugo was with him in his memories, too. Sometimes, memory Hugo would tease him happily, give him advice and strategies on what to do. Rarely would he praise Lycaon by saying he exceeded his expectations. But there were also times when Hugo was bitter towards him. He would throw curses at him and say hurtful things like he wished he had never met him, a traitor like him, so that he would be alive now instead of rotting in grave.
Those times were the worst for Lycaon, but just to hear the memory Hugo, he would endure all the insults and curses. That's how much he missed Hugo.
Before he succumbed to his fever sleep, he remembered what he wished for
If there’s some sort of deity out there somewhere, may they grant Lycaon chance to see his mate, his light, his moon once more…
And his wish was truly granted in a twisted way. But nonetheless, Lycaon couldn't complain about it. What he sought was with him now.
After the nightly breakdown, they were awkward with each other. Neither of them knew how to approach the other; one was waiting for the other to open the discussion. In the end, Hugo couldn’t wait any longer in this torturous silence. He reached his hand to Lycaon’s chair, waiting for Lycaon to notice, which he immediately noticed as he seemed unable to immerse himself in the book he was reading.
“I’m tired ” Hugo said quietly. His doleful eyes were piercing on Lycaon’s. He loathed to show his true feelings but if it meant to Lycaon to lower his unrelenting stubbornness, he was damn willing to do it.
Hugo’s honesty showed that his patience was on thin ice. Seeing it, Lycaon closed the book he was reading and rubbed his eyes. He knew Hugo was right, but it didn't mean whatever would be discussed wouldn't be a big headache.
“What would you like to talk about, Hugo?” He decided he won’t beat around the bush. Whatever comes his way, he would take it. Lycaon was also tired of the tension between them; it was better to rip the band-aid off before it got infected. With Lycaon’s surrounder, Hugo’s eye lit up before he composed himself.
For all his failed attempts to coax Lycaon to talk, he really needed to be careful to choose his words to get the answers he really desired to learn. While he was thinking, his eyes landed on Lycaon’s well-manicured, deadly nails. They looked very pretty in his long, big hands.
“You used to maintain only your tail and nails properly, didn’t you? You were a truly stinky mutt. I remember the times Jack and I had to forcefully put you into a bath to clean the flea infestation. You would whine all the time. I would also scrub your head extra hard, which you would try to avenge yourself by throwing me a big mass of bubbles. In the end, Jack would also be soaked because he was stuck between us. ” Hugo cracked a smile at the memories that flooded his mind. He would never admit to Lycaon that whining was cute.
Lycaon was caught off guard as he didnt except to Hugo to reminisce about a memory that happened a long time ago, but it was a welcoming surprise.
“It is thanks to a certain rascal who would wander in every nook and cranny of places that no one ever set foot that someone needed to tag along with him so that they wouldn’t get into trouble. And I certainly never whined, you must be confusing yourself” Lycaon huffed. Due to the
nature of thievery, they had to use infiltration and escape routes no one would imagine to use either because of the impossibility or the dangerousness of the routes. And Hugo was the type of person who would go the extra mile of difficulty. He would always justify himself that it was for the succession of the plan, but for Lycaon, it was for extra theatrics. As a result, his fur would be drenched in filth and it is known that cleaning filth on white wolf fur is annoying as hell if you don't have the right dust repellent thiren exclusive products, which weren't cheap either. The least he could keep clean was his tail and nails
“Yeah, yeah keep telling this to yourself” Hugo eyerolled.
“You know, I used to be terrified of those claws. All it takes is one slash of a claw to extinguish a life. And also lots of t-shirts too. I cannot believe you really forced me to eat veggies.” He remembered the memory with a shudder
“But after seeing what kind of person you are, I understood that you are kind of a beast that would unleash his fury on wrong-doers and would never hurt people who don't deserve it. Well, at least intentionally.” Hugo cracked a smile
Lycaon already felt a massive headache at the way Hugo’s wording went around. He knew he wouldn’t like it.
Hugo shifted his posture so that his face was on the same level as Lycaon’s face
“That’s why I don’t hold a grudge against you, Lycaon, I’m sure you had a reason.” There was understanding in his eyes.
Lycaon blanked for a second. Trying to understand what Hugo was trying to say. There is no way he meant it that way.
No, it must’ve been a joke. A cruel joke even.
He tried to speak, he wanted to ask what Hugo was implying, but his throat felt so dry that he was speechless.
Seeing Lycaon unresponsive, Hugo took it as a sign to continue his speech.
“ That day, I was also there, Lycaon. I heard Jack telling you that if I ever went awry, you have to “hold my chain tight, to restrain me and stop me.” “ Remembering what Jack said, Hugo felt a pang in his chest; he miserably wanted to prove Jack wrong, but it seems he did the opposite.
Lycaon’s eyes opened wide like an owl's.
“Oh H-h-hugo” Lycaon stammered.
“Y-you never been this wrong.” His eyes were blazing hot with a mixture of disbelief and anger, angry with himself for allowing this misunderstanding to happen.
He sprang from his seat and started to move around.
“I would never, ever dare to hurt you. How would I?” He said with disbelief and conviction. Lycaon's pace was so fast that Hugo was having a hard time tracking his movement. Suddenly, he stopped moving and turned his face to Hugo
“But it's true Its because of me you died.” Lycaon choked a cry. Letting out the truth felt like a physical pain went down in his throat.
“It's because I was fucking careless and immature that you chose to save me from a possible death. If you didn’t push me, if you hadn’t…” Lycaon couldn’t hold back the hot tears. He tried his best to silence his whimpers. He shouldn’t show his misery to Hugo anymore. But he failed to stop himself as his tail and ears were flat and he was looking directly at the floor with hot tears streaming from his cheek.
Hugo was stunned. His eyes opened like saucers. Before he could say something, Lycaon took a deep breath and shouldered up. He looked at Hugo with reddened, determined eyes.
“I will take whatever insults and hatred you throw at me. I won’t fuss as I deserve it.But please don’t leave me again” His voice was hoarse from crying, and his ears were still back on his head as if he was ready for all kinds of punishments
But he wasn’t ready for Hugo’s lovely youthful laugh.
At first he huffed in disbelief. Then with an uncontrollable way he laughed as if he had heard the most hilarious joke from Lycaon.
Hugo looked at Lycaon with adoring eyes.
“Oh- you’re really, but really silly dog! How can I be mad at you? Though I am mad at myself for coming up with this conclusion that you killed me, but in my defense, you didn’t give me any clarification” Hugo said sheepishly.
“My deepest apologies Hugo. I truly didn’t know what to say. It is true that it was my fault that you died.” The tears in his eyes threatened to spill again. Seeing this, Hugo’s smile dropped. He came closer to Lycaon, and he made a motion as if he was trying to clear Lycaon’s tears.
“Do you think seeing you miserable doesn't affect me? I feel like my heart is burning and crushing at the same time; it's unbearable. I try my best not to let the emotions burst through. But I am tired of it, Lycaon. So please, don't cry anymore, darling.”
Lycaon melted the endearment. He closed his eyes and rested his head on his right shoulder, imagining Hugo’s slender hand caressing it. He opened his eyes and looked at Hugo softly.
“We were never good at communicating with each other, right?” Hugo’s eyes crinkled wistfully.
“Before you say anything, please hear me out first,” Hugo said with determination.
“I hated you for abandoning me, I hated you for choosing your own path and having people on your side that were not me.” Hugo took a deep breath and let it out.
“But I never stopped loving you. I tried to suppress it, but you truly stole my heart Lycaon. What a naughty thief you are,” He said humorously.
”My love for you engulfed my hatred. So imagine how happy I am right now to hear that my death had a meaning. And I was able to protect my beloved as I wasn’t able to do it before, to protect my little sister.”
“But this is not the same thing Hugo! Your life was cut short because of me. How can you love me when I hate myself.” Lycaon was in disbelief. He never imagined Hugo this way. He wanted Hugo to hate him too.
“Hate you? Hugo scoffed.
“Why would I hate you? I wouldn’t even hate you if you killed me, which you didn’t. If you were in my shoes, wouldn't you also have done the same? Though with your hero complex, you would try to save anyone else whereas I wouldn’t try to unless it was someone that I certainly cared. Would I risk my life for someone I hated? You big oaf” He huffed.
“So don’t hate yourself Lycaon, or else I have to hate myself for causing your misery.” With a small voice
“When the time comes, you will eventually forget about me. I hope forgetting me will give you relief. ”
Hearing what Hugo said, Lycaons blood boiled.
“Never” he growled.
“Never a second in my life, I would forget about Hugo Vlad, charismatic, smart, mischievous, compassionate, crafty, and my love.” Lycaon’s blazing red eyes pierced Hugo.
Hugo tried to hide his fluster with anger. He shouldn’t be gooey with Lycaon’s declaration. He needs to slap some sense into this idiot.
“Are you out of your damn mind Mutt?!?! You should stop trying to cling to me. There is no guarantee I will be with you tomorrow, and I want you to move over me. Whatever this fucking mess is definitely not good for you.” He tried to reason with Lycaon
“Is this what you truly wish? To get over you and live my life as if you’ve never existed!?” Lycaon cruelly asked.
Hugo looked alarmed by that question
“Honestly? No.” He said with a pitiful yet determined eye set on Lycaon
“ I am an undoubtedly selfish man, darling. I don’t want to be forgotten by you as I want you to remember me as we have never left each other. I don’t want you to find a new lover. I want to continue to live in your heart, just like you were the first and last one to capture mine.” He said with fierce possessiveness.
He lifted his feet and leaned towards Lycaon, whispering sensually to him.
“Actually, wouldn’t that be romantic? We would be each other's only mate for eternity. Do you like this idea~?”
Lycaon shivered at that thought. Deep down, he felt a dark delight for the idea.
“But I don't want my mate to lose their spirit just because I died. I want him to live the life. To feel the joy, pain, anger and many more emotions and adventure life offers.That’s my biggest desire” Hugo gave him a small yet honest smile.
“But how? Tell me Hugo how can I live without you?” Lycaon was lost. He was searching for salvation in this tiring, deep agony called life.
“You're already doing it, love. Sometimes that agony will suffocate you, but there will be times it won’t hurt that much. What matters the most is that you keep going. Please, won’t you do it? At least do it for me.” Hugo bittersweetly said.
Lycaon never felt this defeated before. With the emotional exhaustion, he felt a deep relief, a feeling he hadn’t felt for a very long time. Hearing Hugo wanting him to continue living, even if Hugo is his hallucination, he would try to do what Hugo desires. Maybe one day he will be able to live for his own desire as well.
They looked at each other in silence, lost in each other's eyes. Then Hugo wistfully smiled.
“I think my time has come, Lycaon. Can you close your eyes for a second?” Lycaon dutifully closed his eyes even though he didn't want to.
Then he felt it. Soft, shapely and warm lips touching his own. It was done at an awkward angle; it is the only way to kiss a beast thiren. It was so warm, so alive, he felt himself melting to those sweet lips. Oh, how he wished time would freeze and feel fuzzy forever.
Then he didn’t feel his lips touch his. He unconsciously whined at the loss of contact. He opened his eyes to a chuckle, a much older Hugo looking at him adoringly.
He was as beautiful as the day he lost him.
“Goodbye, Lycaon.” Hugo gave him a last smile and in the blink of an eye he disappeared.
On the outskirts, a place that was adorned with flowers, there were two graves side by side. A beloved sister and a beloved brother, both of them passed away untimely. In front of the graves, a wolf thiren and lilac-haired woman paying their respect to the dead by arranging the flowers and cleaning the graves.
“So you finally come out of your cave, huh?” Vivian unhumourously said.
“Yeah, or else Hugo would come out of the grave only to scold me,” Lycaon sheepishly replied.
Vivian was surprised by Lycaon’s humor. She never saw him mention Hugo without a pain in his voice, but it seems Lycaon finally made peace with himself.
“You look less shit.” What she meant was ‘you look much better, good for you’
“Thank you.”
After they finished their task, they dusted their hands. Vivian thoroughly looked at Lycaon, as if she was trying to decipher what made Lycaon change.
Are you okay? , Vivian asked with her eyes
I don’t know, but I will try, Lycaon answered with her with his gesture
They sat in silence for a bit more. It was a lovely day, after the spring rain, everywhere smelling rain and nature thriving with vitality.
“We should invite our coworkers someday. I believe they would love us to introduce themselves” Lycaon said. They never invited anyone to this place before.
“Sure” Vivian smiled. She would very much love to introduce Lord Paetheon to his brother and sister, whom she never knew.
They gave a last glance at the graves and left.