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Megumi sighed as he slumped aross the balcony railing, cigarette in hand.
This was a mess he had gotten himself into, and he wasnt sure on how to escape from it. Usually he took some pride in being able to evade awkward situations, but this? All he knew was that it would be a herculean task to get out of,
“Gumi! Stop smoking! You know that i don’t like it!” his mom chided, as she joined him outside, closing the mesh door that separated the living room and balcony.
“Yeah, sorry..” he mumbled, putting out, but also making a mental note to go out for a smoke when his parents were asleep.
“Tell me, Gumi, what’s on your mind? I’m sure you’ve not come back home only to make the walls black with your chainsmoking - which i’ve told you to quit COUNTLESS times. I don’t know where you picked this nasty habit from.” his mom said, nose scrunching with disapproval.
“He’s just here because he ran out of money.” his father said, as he plopped down on the sofa inside the living room, busy scrolling on the TV.
“Now, come on, if that was the reason, he’d have already asked and pushed off.” (Megumi raised his eyebrows in disbelief, and in return got a “Don’t give me that look!” and a sharp slap on his back)
“I know something’s not right. Whenever things aren't going well, he becomes all moody and sulky, AND eats all the snacks he can lay his grubby hands on.” she said, narrowing her eyes with suspicion, while Megumi let out an awkward chuckle - he couldn't deny THAT now. He did finish all the cookies his mom made in one night (but in his defense, he was stressed)
“You can tell us, you know. We’re your parents! Our job is to help you overcome and hurdles that come in your way - although at times our advice may not be the best.” his mom said, patting his back.
“I’m fine, mom, stuff’s been happening. Nothing big.” Megumi sighed, slouching even more.
“What, did your friends finally realise that you’re a slob and kicked you out of the dorm?” his dad snickered, to which his mom retorted back. “Oh shut up! You’re no less!”
She sighed, turning towards Megumi. “You’ve become so distant ever since you moved out, and i understand you must be swamped with all that’s going on - assignments, people, places. But don’t think that you can’t rely on us. We’ll always be there - even if we may not get along at times.”
“Terms and conditions apply.” his dad called out, to which he got loud “KEEP QUIET! YOU’RE NOT MAKING THIS ANY BETTER!” bellowed at him. Sometimes, Megumi wondered if his mom was secretly a WWE fighter, or something similar.
“I know, mom… it’s just that…” Megumi said, standing straighter.
“It’s just what?”
It’s just that i’m confused. Will you still feel the same after you know the kind of person i actually am? That i am a complete dick, a total-low life, a double-faced piece of shit?
A person, who’s actions are absolutely horrendous? Sometimes, i wish i could just start afresh. New face. New place.
Am i even loveable? I cant seem to even like myself, let alone love myself or even look at myself in the mirror. I hate how i am, yet i am unwilling to make any changes in myself.
“It’s nothing. Just that i’m tired, that’s all.” Megumi sighed, slouching back once more, swallowing all that he wanted to say.
He really was tired of everything.