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It felt like Shoko had only just got Suguru's chest stitched back together. She hadn't even left the clinic, instead sitting on a plastic chair outside the door and burning through a small mountain of cigarettes. Trying not to think about anything.
This whole mission had been a total disaster. The assimilation with Tengen didn't happen – the girl died too soon, killed by an assailant who claimed to have also killed Satoru. There was a hell of a lot of blood in the courtyard. Easily an entire body's worth of blood. Suguru took a picture to show her, asking if there was any way Satoru could have survived – if his body was missing because he walked away, or if the bastard took him as well as Riko.
Nobody was surviving that level of blood loss.
Gritting his teeth, Suguru promised he'd bring Satoru's body back before he went to get his revenge.
So it was an immense surprise to see both of them, walking. Satoru, walking, clothes covered in blood. Cradling the body of that poor girl that Shoko quickly identified had been shot.
She ushered them into the morgue. Satoru laid the girl out on the table, gently folding her arms over her chest so they stayed put.
The air felt unbearably thick. The space between them was an open wound that Shoko couldn't fix.
But she had to try. She had a horrible feeling that if she didn't draw them all back together right now, they were all going to unravel and break.
Suguru was sat on one of the chairs by the wall. Shoko put her hand on his head. Satoru was stood by the body. She stretched out to grab the back of his tattered jacket. Both of them tensed up at the contact, but she held on firmly.
"I swear, if you two don't hold me right now I'm going to cry."
Satoru gave in first. Slowly, as if he were in a dream, he turned and without even looking down at Shoko, wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to his chest. He was looking off into space, eyes all unfocused and glassy. Fuck, maybe she should have grabbed sunglasses first.
"Suguru, hand me those bandages."
That snapped him out of whatever reverie he was in. "What, is he still hurt?" He asked, voice tinged with alarm as he grabbed the roll of bandages and pressed them into her hand.
"No, he's fine. I just…" She swivelled around in Satoru's arms, standing on tiptoes to reach his head. She tied the bandage around his head, covering his eyes like a blindfold.
She could tell it was working. He relaxed around her a little as the world got darker and darker, eventually dropping his head down to rest on top of hers.
Only then did Suguru join them, somewhat reluctantly – but Shoko would change that. She was sure she could. She had to – she had to.
One arm around each of them, she squeezed as hard as she could, sending her cursed energy into both of their bodies even though they didn't need it. It was instinctual at this point. When she cared about someone this much, every time she touched them she simply had to check.
Suguru grabbed onto her tight as well, one hand reaching past her to cling onto Satoru's shirt. Infinity was off right now, so there was no resistance.
"That was fucked," she declared. Both of the boys made vague noises. They didn't want to talk about it – she knew they wouldn't. She was going to do it anyway. "I'm so glad you're both alive. Fuck. I'm so glad."
"Technically I did die," Satoru pointed out.
Suguru tensed up and tugged hard at Satoru's shirt. "Don't."
"What? It's true. I did. I felt it."
Shoko rubbed both of their backs, and thankfully they both started to relax again. "Did it hurt?"
"Like a bitch. It was fucking awful. I… it was… he…"
"He told me he killed you," Suguru interrupted. "The assassin. After he shot Riko, he told me you were dead and I tried to kill him but he was better than me too."
"He's gone now. I put a huge hole in him."
"You said that already," Suguru grumbled.
"Guys," Shoko interrupted. "Let's get out of here. I don't want to be in a morgue anymore."
She felt Satoru smile against the top of her head. "I've learned a new trick," he said. "Do you want to see it?"
"Um, sure?"
Before either Shoko or Suguru could ask anything else, he grabbed them both and teleported them all to the grass outside.
It was a bumpy ride, and the second they fell to the ground, Satoru fell down panting hard, with a wild grin on his face. Shoko didn't like that face at all. Not one single bit. And then there was Suguru, looking so dejected and depressed and like he wanted to curl up in a ball and die for real.
Shoko corralled them both across campus back to the dorms, dragging them up to her room. She didn't want to let either of them out of her sight right now.
Usually, if they got access to her room both the boys would immediately start nosing through her things or lounging around on her bed and desk chair. But today, both of them stood awkwardly in the doorway, not wanting to look at each other.
Shoko groaned audibly and dragged them both onto her bed. She squashed the three of them onto the small mattress in a pile of limbs, all pressed against each other. Satoru and Suguru shoulder-to-shoulder on her bed, and Shoko lying on top of them with her arms spread out to hold them tight.
"I love you guys. Stay with me, okay?"
"Can't go anywhere with you on top of us," Suguru mumbled.
Shoko thumped his shoulder and buried her face in his chest. Which seemed to surprise him, because he hesitated before putting his hand on her back. "Are you okay, Sho'?"
"No!" She replied, and that surprised her, because why the fuck was she upset? They were both alive, both here, both okay… "No, I'm not okay. You're both being so weird."
"It was a hard day."
"I fucking know that! I'm not an idiot, Suguru! But fuck, you're both like zombies right now. Cry or get mad or something. Just do something."
Suguru gripped the back of Shoko's shirt, tightening his grip on her.
Satoru finally reacted to that. He lifted his head, forgetting about the bandages over his eyes. "I feel like I'm high," he admitted. "Like I've… like I'm…"
"If you say 'enlightened' I'm going to push you off the bed," Suguru said drily.
"No, that's not right… but I do understand some stuff better. Reverse cursed technique. Teleportation. Hollow Purple. I think I could pop a domain right now if I tried."
"Great, so you're gonna be even more up your own ass than before."
"Maybe," Satoru continued dreamily, not really aware of what he was agreeing to. "You're gonna think I'm insane—"
"We already do."
"—But dying felt really good. Being beaten. Maybe it's just because it made me level up but… Felt like the best orgasm ever."
Shoko paused and then pushed herself up on her elbows. She caught Suguru's eye and was glad to see they were both on the same page.
Suguru's nose was flaring and his jaw tightly clamped shut with his smile as he tried desperately not to laugh. But as Shoko made herself cough to try and get over that insane declaration Satoru just made, Suguru lost his battle and burst out laughing. Shoko punched him weakly as her own resolve buckled and they both descended into a breathless fit of giggles.
Satoru pulled a confused face – though with his face half-covered by bandages, it was hard to tell. "What's so funny?"
"If I knew getting beat up got you off…" Shoko started, but she was laughing too hard.
Honestly, it wasn't the confession itself that was funny. It was pretty par for the course – none of them had many secrets between them. It was more like relief. Relief that Satoru was still alive, still here, still the same stupid boy.
"Came so hard you digivolved," Suguru wheezed.
Satoru's eyebrows shot up and he grinned. "Yes! That's exactly it!"
"Hope you didn't actually come, because you're in my bed and you haven't changed."
"I didn't check," Satoru admitted, then after a pause started trying to wriggle his way out from under her.
"Wait, holy shit, did you really?"
He was blushing, hands trying to cover up his crotch as if forgetting that Shoko and Suguru couldn't see through his pants too. "… I might've."
Shoko sighed and grabbed hold of him again, trying to pin him to the bed. "You're covered in blood, too, Satoru. I'm already going to have to do laundry and I don't care. I was joking."
Finally, Suguru caught his breath. He rolled onto his side, back to the wall, to stick his face in the crook of Satoru's neck. "I'm glad you're okay. You scared me."
"Sorry. I… I don't think I was okay." As Satoru spoke, Suguru's hand came up to brush through his hair. "When I went to get Riko's body… I really wanted to kill them all, Suguru. I would have if you hadn't stopped me."
"Glad I was there, then."
"But – are you okay?" Satoru insisted. "Did you… You must've seen it happen. Didn't you? The blood stain wasn't too far from the entrance."
Suguru closed his eyes. "Yes. I saw it."
Satoru was quiet for a long moment, mouth opening and closing like he was struggling to find words. What he finally came up with was, "Guess that guy fucked us both."
"Only you got stronger because of it, though. I didn't get an earth-shattering orgasm out of it, either," Suguru grumbled.
"Then you two are gonna train extra hard together, right?" Shoko interjected.
"Sure—" Satoru started to reply, but Shoko wasn't done.
"I'll even join in if you need a laugh. I think I just about remember how to do a breakfall."
One of Suguru's eyes opened to look at her. "Are you serious?"
"Deadly. I'm deadly serious. I don't want you getting a fucking complex about this little shit being so strong."
Satoru hummed in agreement. "We should never have split up."
"What?"
"We should never have split up. We could have beaten the douchebag together, I just know it. Having you around makes me stronger," Satoru rambled. "And I think you're stronger too when I'm around."
Finally, Suguru relaxed fully, melting like putty under Shoko.
It wasn't over – Shoko knew that. This was not going to be an easy fix. But they'd thrown a rope across the chasm and were holding on for now. Like a single stitch across a wound. Bloody and still hurting but it was a start. They could heal from this. Shoko was sure of it.