Chapter Text
The inky blackness of the void hadn’t changed after all.
It was the first thing Mike had noticed after El pulled him in for the first time after she’d vanished. Empty, endless, a vast dimension of silence. The only thing that broke up the monotony was the armchair he’d been sitting in when he had been taken, and the two of them.
He hadn’t been surprised at all when she suddenly appeared in front of him, it was only a matter of time. As soon as she got wind of what he’d been up to- what he was planning, she would come. He almost counted on it.
What did surprise him was her certainty that he would sit and do nothing while she made a choice to make both of them suffer. Mike might not be a fighter, but he certainly was not a coward. If she was allowed to make choices on her own, so was he. Even if she had actually died that day- which he refused to accept from the beginning, his choice would be the same. He knew her choice would be the same as well.
“What are you doing?” she asked, skipping the pleasantries even though they hadn’t seen each other in almost three years.
“I knew you would come.” he said, standing up from the chair. “I missed you.”
He heard the sharp intake of her breath; his unexpected tenderness didn’t match the anger in her own voice.
“Mike.” her tone was softer, and her eyes were warm instead of angry for a moment. “I missed you too.”
He took the opportunity to examine her while he slowly walked towards her, taking in the unfamiliar clothing and trying to gauge what climate she would be living in to wear the warm clothing she currently had on. Black winter boots, faded jeans, a white sweater, and a black wool coat. Too much clothing for the mild winter Hawkin’s was currently experiencing.
“I’m so happy to see you.” he said as he reached for her, pulling her into her arms. He tried to contain the tears that threatened to spill out, blinking furiously as he hid his face in the slope of her neck. This wouldn’t end up being a heartfelt moment, but he wanted to take advantage of it before it turned.
“Mike.” she said again, her voice shaking as one hand circled to his back and the other rested in his hair. He knew her eyes were closed as they held each other, that she was holding back just as much as he was.
“No matter what happens, I love you. Okay?” he whispered, tightening his grip on her. She tensed at his words, and he knew the tenderness of the moment was over.
“You can’t do this.” she said, stepping away from him and the anger in her eyes had returned. “You don’t understand what you are getting yourself into.”
“I know what I'm doing, El.”
”You don’t.” she screamed vehemently, walking past him towards the chair. His body turned automatically, following the direction she moved. Once she reached the chair, she spun around to face him. “They will kill you, and then what? Am I supposed to be okay with your death?”
“Like I was supposed to be okay with yours?” It landed the way it was supposed to, heavy and heartbreaking. His eyes started to sting again as hers filled with tears, and she tilted her head at him as if he was being unreasonable.
“That was different. Are you doing this because I left?”
“It’s not different. I’m doing this because you were forced to leave.” he clinched his jaw at the implication that this was some sort of payback towards her for making the choice that she did. “You expected me to do nothing?”
“I expected you to respect my choice!”
“I do!” he yelled, his own anger rising. “I didn’t go looking for you, as much as I wanted to, I didn’t. You made a choice, and then I made one too.” She scoffed at his words, looking away from him as though he was being ridiculous.
“What did Owens tell you?” she asked, looking at him again while crossing her arms over her chest and taking a step towards him. “That they were still hunting me and you could be my savior?”
“Don’t try to minimize my choices-”
“You can’t stop them Mike.” her was voice cold and forceful. “I couldn’t. Hopper couldn’t. Owens couldn’t either. You are going to die.”
He couldn’t help the way fury ripped at his insides, the way it filled him with rage that was getting harder and harder to control. She didn’t understand; she would never understand. She had no idea what it was like to be the one left behind repeatedly, to feel helpless and useless as he watched the person he loved more than anything suffer. This was the end of the line for him, and he couldn’t go back. He wouldn’t.
“I leave for basic training next week.” he said flatly, clinching his fists at his sides.
“I can’t believe you would-” she paused, shaking her head and looking away from him again. “Fine. It’s too late to quit. But stay away from this Mike, please.”
He didn’t answer, he couldn’t. If he agreed it would be a lie, and despite everything he didn’t want to lie to her. He’d already made up his mind, and his biggest flaw was that he was stubborn. Once he decided something, it was decided. He knew what he wanted to do the moment she disappeared from his life. He knew he would do anything to protect her from the moment they met.
”Mike.” she said earnestly, stepping towards him again and taking both of his hands in hers. “Please.”
Their eyes met as she intertwined their fingers together, her gaze pleading with him to reconsider. It killed him inside to know that he had to deny her anything, but it was different now. Finally he had a way to do something for her, a way to make a difference in her life. A possibility to make a brighter future for the girl who had lived in darkness for much too long.
“I can’t.”
His heart broke again as more tears spilled down her cheeks, and she released a sob that threatened to make him crumble. He knew that his decision hurt her just as much as hers had hurt him. Neither of them allowed room for discussion, knowing that the outcome was much more important than what they wanted. They were never allowed to have what they wanted anyway, it had been an impossible dream since they were twelve years old.
“I won’t watch your death.” she said as she held back another sob, releasing his hands and taking a step back.
“I already watched yours.” he whispered, the gravity of their choices lingering between them.
Tears fell down her cheeks as they looked at each other in the silence, and he knew that something had just shifted between them. They were no longer existing as one mind and one heart; there was more distance between them now than just the miles.
October 1994
It didn’t matter if she hated him as long as she was free.
Mike knew that she hated the thought of him as a soldier. It wasn’t exactly what he wanted to do with his life in an ideal world either. If he had his way she would have stayed and they would have faced the threat of the military together or ran away from it all, the way that he planned. All that mattered was that she was happy. That she had a chance to be happy. Not in a way that was forced onto her and she had to make the most of the hand she was dealt, but actually happy. Free to make her own choices and be whoever she wanted to be.
She could never be happy if they continued to hunt for her, if she had to spend the rest of her life hiding. If he could do something about that, he would. Sam Owens had given him that chance, of course he accepted it with open arms.
El had sacrificed everything to keep everyone safe; how could he not return the favor? He loved her. He understood her decision now, because he was making the same choice. He’d always known she was strong, but he appreciated her for it so much more now.
“Last chance to change your mind, Michael.” said Owens, watching his face as Mike loaded his gun. “It’s not too late to go back to Hawkins and pretend none of this ever happened.”
Mike couldn’t help but let out a laugh. It was entirely too late. He’d done things he could never take back; things that had irrevocably changed him forever. Gone was the young boy who believed in simple happy endings. The naivety slowly stripped away by each passing year that he witnessed just how many people turned a blind eye to monstrosity. Maybe he’d turned into a bit of a monster himself too.
“You know better than that.” he said with a smirk, sliding the loaded gun into its usual place in the waistband of his camouflage pants. It wasn’t regulation to place his gun there, but he’d never cared about regulation anyway.
“You’re right about that.” said Owens, nodding and putting his hands on his hips. “I have to admit when I asked for your help, I didn’t expect you to be such a pain in my ass.”
“You clearly never talked to Hopper.”
“Would he have warned me that you were reckless?”
“No, but he would have told you that I have a hard time following rules, especially when it comes to her.”
“You’re not even twenty-four yet Mike, don’t make me have to bury you. I have a feeling I would die too.” said Owens, his tone friendly but his eyes were serious. “Stick to the plan, we’re at the home stretch here kiddo. It’s almost over.”
It’ll never be over, not if I stick to the plan.
“You got it boss.” said Mike, giving him a bright smile. He hated that lying had become so easy for him; he could wear lies like a second skin. It was a struggle when he was freshly enlisted, but now it had become almost natural. Friends might not lie, but none of these people were his friends. In fact, Mike had always seen them as enemies.
“You’re a biochemist Michael, not Rambo. Don’t try to be a hero, I mean it.”
“I’ve never been a hero.” said Mike, tucking in his olive green t-shirt into the camouflage pants and pulling his matching combat coat over his shoulders. His fingers automatically grazed over the black embroidered ’Wheeler’ nametag centered above his right breast pocket.
“I can think of at least one person who would beg to differ.” said Owens, his expression concerned. “Are you ready?”
It was now or never. It had taken him four years and a lot of illegal activity and violence to get this far. Owens’ plan was simple. Get in, find the classified documents, and get out. Mike was a military biochemist- thanks to Owens pulling some strings, and had all the clearance he needed to reach them; it had been the plan from the start. Then Owens would use said documents to expose the program to the media. The media would eat it up considering it closely followed MKUltra, which had already been exposed in the 1970’s.
But considering the military felt comfortable enough to start a similar program after MKUltra was national news, Mike didn’t exactly feel comfortable with this plan. It wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. So, he devised a plan of his own. It was dangerous, but he knew it would work.
He felt guilty that one of his best friends- Dustin Henderson, unknowingly set Mike on a course that could get him killed. But at least he’d go out with a bang.
“Ready.”