Chapter Text
The second Bobby pulled Emmeline’s door shut, he rested his forehead on the wood for a moment. His shoulders were still tensed up as he hoped and prayed Emmeline stayed asleep, especially considering how long it took him to get her down.
The day had been long, and the evening had been even longer. It had been one of those days that felt like an uphill battle, and one that both himself and Athena were losing.
Terribly.
At just four weeks old, Emmeline Liara had suddenly decided that sleep was a choice. Not a requirement. And it was slowly, but surely killing them. One sleepless hour at a time.
Athena had been taking the brunt of it, considering she was breastfeeding around the clock. Each minute Emmeline was awake, she was cluster feeding. Hardly giving Athena a moment to breathe before it would start again.
It was becoming difficult, and for many reasons.
Since the beginning, Athena was very determined to breastfeed and luckily, Emmeline had no issues with latching. It of course took some adjusting, it was new for both Athena and Emmeline, but it hadn’t taken them too long to settle and find rhythm.
For Athena, it ran deeper than just providing those nutrients Emmeline needed. It was a bond Athena had created with her daughter, and one that she treasured. It didn’t matter if it was in the early hours of the morning with the sunlight just starting to break in, or when it was in the middle of the night, bathing in the glow from the moon.
And yet, recently, Athena had been feeling conflicted. Because as much as she loved being able to provide for her daughter, it was starting to feel as though Athena couldn’t keep up. All throughout the day, and all throughout the night, Emmeline was attached to her.
And, it was exhausting.
It was also extremely difficult for Bobby, considering he wasn’t able to help his wife with this.
Ever since Emmeline had made her appearance, Bobby had been extremely hands on. Just as everyone expected him to be.
When Athena was sleeping, Bobby was doing something. Whether it was meal prepping, changing diapers, doing the laundry or making sure Athena was comfortable. Bobby handled it with no issues, and without a single complaint.
Bobby both understood, and recognised that Athena needed him in ways she hadn’t before. Bobby knew that this new chapter as parents came with a whole new wave of responsibility and vulnerability. Athena needed navigating in a certain direction in order to keep above the vicious waves of motherhood.
And so, wherever Bobby could help, he did.
“Is she down?”
Athena’s words came in the form of whisper from behind him, as if she was trying to hide the exhaustion. But Bobby heard it regardless.
“We’ll check the monitor to be sure.” He whispered back, all before taking a step away from the door. “I left it on the bedside table.”
Athena nodded, but didn’t move. “My pump needs charging.”
“Already?”
A humourless laugh escaped her. “I know.”
“Okay-“ Bobby turned, his eyes finally resting upon his beautiful wife. “I’ll sort it, baby. You don’t need to worry, okay?”
Just as Bobby took a step closer, Athena turned away. “Yeah. I know, I just..”
Stepping closer regardless, Bobby lay a gentle hand upon Athena’s shoulder. “It’s alright, baby. Talk to me. What do you need?”
“A shower.”
Bobby heard the shakiness within her tone. “Okay.”
“It’s- - I haven't had chance yet today and, I don’t- - I feel gross.” Athena felt as the corridor was closing in on her for the minute, her entire body tensing underneath Bobby’s gentle touch. “I just, I want- - with the ache I get within my stomach still, it’s hard for me to-“
Noticing the vulnerability starting to consume her, Bobby stepped in. “Hey. It’s okay. Breathe, baby. I’m here.”
She took in a careful, slow breath. “I hate feeling like this, Bobby.”
“I know you do.”
“I can’t do anything-“
Shaking his head, Bobby’s hands immediately went up to cradle Athena’s face. Holding her gently between his palms, their eyes locking. “You, Athena Nash, are doing everything.”
“I can’t even shower, Bobby.” Athena attempted to argue, her voice laced with defeat. “Not without help.”
“That’s nothing to feel ashamed about.”
Again, Athena argued. “You’re doing so much for me, Bobby. For the both of us- - you shouldn’t be expected to help me with this, too.”
“What I do, is nothing compared to what you do and what you’re continuing to do, baby.” Bobby shook his head, still looking into Athena’s eyes. “You brought our daughter into this world, and now, your body is keeping her alive. You’re doing so much, all the time, Athena.”
This time, a sniffle came. “I’m feeling a little lost right now, Bobby.”
“So let me help you find your way back.” He pressed their foreheads together, holding the two of them close. “Okay?”
It took a moment, but eventually, Bobby felt Athena nod. “Yeah. Okay.”
- - -
Athena triple checked the monitor as Bobby shuffled around the bathroom, preparing the shower and everything else Athena would need once done.
Bobby had never needed any reminding of certain products Athena was using in her recovery. It was something the fire Captain had educated himself on, so he could be one hundred percent present when it came to taking care of his wife after she’d given birth. Not wanting Athena to have such a large mental load as well as physical.
“Now, remember-“ Bobby’s voice broke through the air after a minute, capturing Athena’s attention. “The water won’t be as hot as it usually is.”
A slight smile spread over Athena’s lips. “I do not have it that hot, Bobby.”
“Baby- - every time I’ve joined you in the shower, I’ve come out looking like a lobster.”
Athena couldn’t help but chuckle gently. “The hot water is relaxing.”
“Yeah, well- - warm water is better for you anyway.” He told her, finally leaning into the shower and turning on the taps. “And it’s ready, whenever you are. Do you need help undressing?”
Shaking her head, Athena began to unbutton her pyjama top. “No, I’m okay for this part.”
Nodding, Bobby took off his own shirt and stripped down to his boxers, so they didn’t become wet when helping Athena. The stool he’d placed in the middle of the shower was for Athena to sit down on when it came to Bobby washing her hair. Most nights Athena would be sat in the bath, making the process a little easier for them both. However tonight, they were against the baby-feeding clock.
“Leave your pad and underwear, honey. I’ll sort that out in a minute, okay?”
Settling with a nod, Athena stepped out of her pyjama bottoms. Unable to suppress the wince as she bent down gently. “Bobby-“
“What do you need?” He turned around in an instant.
Athena reached up for his shoulder, giving herself some balance. “Just- - stay where you are.”
“Copy that.”
After another minute, Athena announced she was ready. She stood up a little straighter, and Bobby’s arm had immediately hooked around her waist, guiding her into the warm spray of water, and not letting go until she was on steady feet.
“Body first?” He asked after a moment.
Athena reached for the loofah. “I’m okay to do this part.”
Bobby knew never to question her, even in moments like this. He knew that Athena needed to try and take the lead, discovering something for herself first, before Bobby would take over. It might take a little longer, and with some frustration, but Athena clung onto those small moments of independents.
“Emmeline okay?”
Bobby looked from Athena and to the monitor, a smile gracing his face once he saw their baby girl, still asleep.
“For now.” He confirmed, watching her for another moment. “Pacifier is out, though.”
Athena let out a small groan as she moved the loofah over her shoulder. “That means she’ll be up soon.”
“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, baby.” Bobby tried to soothe, reaching out to rub her lower back. “Right now, we’re focusing on you. Okay?”
“She’s going to wake up needing me.”
Offering a nod, Bobby leaned in a little closer. The smell of her coconut body wash immediately infiltrating his senses. “So let’s make sure you’re feeling a bit more put together, okay? One thing at a time, baby.”
Athena could feel the frustration building within. “I don’t have time for that, Bobby.”
“I’m making it for you.” Bobby reached around, gently taking the loofah out of her hands. “Let me take care of you for the minute.”
This time, Athena knew Bobby wasn’t asking. She sighed. “I said I could do this part.”
“And I know you can-“ He nodded, already moving to lather up Athena’s arms. “But, that doesn’t mean you have to right now. Let me take the load off you. Just for a minute.”
When Athena was silent for a minute too long, Bobby spoke once more. “I can see how much you’re carrying, baby. But, I’m here. I’m here for you in anyway you need me.”
Again, Athena stayed quiet as Bobby continued to wash her. The cloud within her own head had only began to thicken the longer she allowed Bobby to help her. Accepting help was something Athena had always struggled with, in all walks of life. The incessant need to always accomplish something on her own, was one that ran deep.
But, Bobby knew Athena better than she knew herself sometimes.
And right now, Athena needed to both hear the encouragement, as well as physically be shown the encouragement.
Which is exactly what Bobby was doing.
“You’re doing so amazingly, Athena.” Bobby pressed a kiss into the back of Athena’s neck. Allowing his lips to linger for a moment, all the way until he felt Athena start to relax. “I am so proud of you, baby. I’m in awe of you every single moment, of every single day.”
“I hate how much I’m replying on you.” Athena’s admission felt like ripping off the bandaid. “It makes me feel as if I don’t know what I’m doing.”
Bobby gave an understanding nod. “Right now, my job is to make sure you stay a float. I’m here to support you in anyway you need supporting, okay? So if you need a little assistance in the shower because your body is still recovering, then I’m going to help you shower. I’ll do anything for you, Athena. It doesn’t matter how big or small.”
A sigh left Athena’s lips. “Emmeline is-“
“Is doing wonderfully because of you.” Bobby spoke once more, his words seeping into Athena’s ear. Finally beginning to break through that dark cloud. “Your body is keeping her alive, baby. You’re keeping her healthy, and you’re keeping her safe. You’re doing an incredible job, Athena.”
This time, a small sob escaped her as the exhaustion reached its peak. “I’m tired, baby.”
“And yet, you’re still doing it.” Bobby kissed her temple, holding Athena even closer. “Every single day, you’re still doing it, Athena. And you’re doing it beautifully.”
Underneath the spray of the shower, Bobby held his wife. One arm stayed firmly around her, whilst the loofah traced her skin. Every so often, Athena would move her body to accommodate Bobby’s actions. The emotion had exhausted Athena even more, and Bobby knew it.
It wasn’t often Athena would easily admit to struggling, and even though no words were said, Bobby knew the admission came in silence. Athena staying quiet allowed Bobby to help, and it ultimately managed to lift some of that weight in which lay upon her.
The silent understanding settled between them throughout the rest of the shower.
Words of affirmations were pressed into her skin as Bobby continued to wash her. Repeating himself over and over again, and it was simply because Athena needed to hear it. The encouragement was verbalised as the soapy water was rinsed away, leaving Athena feeling refreshed and somewhat clearer within her mind.
Once done and Athena had changed into fresh pyjamas, she finally slid into bed. The monitor was placed back on the bedside table, with the screen lighting up as Athena watched Emmeline sleep. Their tiny girl still sprawled out, looking as if she hasn’t been causing havoc. And even in her sleep deprived state, the sight of Emmeline alone was enough to bring a smile onto Athena’s face.
“Emmie okay?”
Athena’s nose scrunched at Bobby’s words. “Emmie?”
“What?” He chuckled, kicking off his slippers. “Not a fan?”
“I mean- - I don’t hate it.” She told him honestly, bringing one shoulder upward. “I just didn’t think our daughter would get a nickname so soon.”
Agreeing, Bobby pressed a kiss to Athena’s temple before pulling back the comforter. Prompting Athena to fully slide back. “I have a few I’ve been brainstorming.”
“Care to share?”
“Tomorrow.” Bobby promised her, smiling around his words as he watched his wife sink into their mattress. “Right now, sleep.”
“No fair.” Athena mumbled, already feeling herself fall into the arms of the sandman.
“I love you, baby.” Bobby reached for the sheets, pulling them up and over her. A hand stroking the smoothness of her cheek for the moment. Watching as Athena’s face relaxed fully underneath his touch, so much so that it was sending her off to sleep. “Sweet dreams.”