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Lukas knew that his soulmate wasn’t Rose the very first time he got injured in a motocross tourney that ended in him laying down his bike. The bike left a bruise the size of his muffler on his calf; Rose did not have that bruise or any other bruise or cut from him working on the farm or riding. He stayed with her anyway, because he wasn’t going to let fate rule who he could and could not love.
*****
Lukas knew that his soulmate was Philip, knew it before the incident in the hallway, knew it when they first met, and he had it confirmed when he laid into him at school. The bruise started at the corner of his eye and trickled into his cheekbone. He’s suspended for the rest of the day, so it makes it easy to hide the tell tale sign of something that isn’t his.
“What the hell are you doing?” He gasps out, holding tightly onto the jacket of somebody that shouldn’t be in his house. Philip, his brain supplies when the familiar texture of the leather hits.
“Oh, are you gonna hit me again, huh?” Philip murmurs breathlessly before Lukas pulls him in for a kiss. Lukas pulls him up onto the bed before rolling them over so that he’s on top. He kisses him for a few more seconds before pulling away.
“What the hell were you thinking talking to me in front of everyone?” Lukas forgets for a moment that his face is on show. He forgets and maybe that’s why it’s so easy for Philip to trail his hand up to the side of Lukas’ face. Philip’s fingers skirt the sides of the bruise, only interested in tracking the faint coloring of purple and blue.
“Were you going to tell me or keep it a secret like you’re keeping us?” The hand stops tracing and instead drops off of him completely, Philip already knowing what the answer is going to be. “I get that you want to keep this hidden, okay I get it. That doesn’t mean you get to start lying to me.” Lukas is still hovering over him and he lifts his hand to trace the duplicate to his bruise.
“I’m not supposed to be that guy, nobody wants me to be that guy,” he whispers softly. They wouldn’t even have met if it weren’t for him going into foster care, if it weren’t for his mom, for the Sheriff and her husband. They weren’t supposed to meet, but they did.
“I want you to be that guy. I want you, Lukas. You need to decide.”
“What is there to decide?” The words taste bitter on his tongue and the look in Philip’s eyes only make it spread.
“Fine.” He shoves Lukas off of him and walks out of the room, grabbing his bag in the process.
Nobody at school the next day seems to make the connection between the matching bruises that they both have, and Lukas isn’t sure if he’s disappointed that nobody noticed or that Philip won’t even look at him.
*****
Rose is the first person to find out. She sees the mark that rests on his hip bone and questions it. Lukas even questions that mark, because he did not leave it on Philip and Philip did not leave it on him. It’s not light enough to be considered a simple bruise, one that could have come from the other boy knocking into a counter. No. Lukas knows what would cause that color of mark. He hates the feeling of jealousy that starts to course through his blood.
“Lukas? Hey, where did the mark come from?” Rose repeats for the second time, no longer resting on her knees, ready to blow him in the middle of field.
“I don’t -- it’s not mine. I don’t know where it came from,” he answers numbly. Rose analyzes his expression and tone of voice before she takes a few more steps away, making the space between them less personal and more professional.
“You found your soulmate didn’t you? You know who it is and that’s why you’re so broken up about why a mark you obviously didn’t put on them is there. God, Lukas, were you even going to tell me?” The question rings in his ears while he mechanically pulls his jeans back up. Were you going to tell me or keep it a secret like you’re keeping us?
“I didn’t think I had to choose between you and them, that the choice was obvious. I’m dating you, they shouldn’t have changed anything.” The words roll of his tongue, and he doesn’t know if it’s him trying to make excuses for himself or if he’s actually telling the truth.
Rose only stares at him, and they stand in quiet silence for moments on end until she nods her head in finality. “The choice is obvious. You found your soulmate, so go be with them.” Her words make it sound so easy that the ringing in his ears pick up a notch.
“It’s not that easy,” he mumbles out. It’s not easy. None of this is easy because he’s not supposed to be gay and he’s not supposed to have feelings for a city boy, and he’s definitely not supposed to be feeling jealous over Philip having sex with someone that isn’t him. But he is, and he does.
“Why? Because it’s Philip? Yeah, I know it’s Philip; you aren’t as closed off as you think you are. Bo won’t look at you any differently, you know he won’t. Just -- stop trying to pretend like you’re doing this for everybody else.” Those are her parting words as she walks away back to the house.
He starts walking back to the house after a few minutes of just staring at the empty space in front of him, and the single thought in his head, is that Philip had somebody else mark him, had somebody else kiss him, and had somebody do the one thing Lukas doesn’t think he’s ready to do. It makes his stomach churn the more he thinks about it.
Philip is leaning against Lukas’ dirt bike when he gets up to the house and Lukas stares at him but doesn’t really see him. He had sex with somebody else. He kissed somebody else.
“Have fun last night?” He challenges. Philip’s eyebrow quirks up at the question and he smiles lightly.
“Didn’t sleep much last night, so not really no,” Philip answers. Lukas hums in response walking away from his bike and towards the side door to the house. He bounds up the stairs and listens as Philip’s steps match his pace.
Lukas sits on his bed and runs his hands through his hair. Philip closes the door behind him and comes to stand in front of Lukas, his hands reaching out and removing Lukas’ own from his hair. Lukas lifts his head so that he and Philip are making eye contact and pulls him forward by his belt loops.
“You okay?” Philip whispers, and the sound makes Lukas’ heart clench. This man, this city boy and his stupid jacket and his stupid smile. Lukas brushes his thumb against Philip’s hip bone and watches as the other man’s adam’s apple bob.
“I have this feeling that we both have a mark on our hip bones, but I’m not sure I know what it’s from,” Lukas answers, the question hanging still in the air. He shouldn’t be jealous. He doesn’t have a right to be, because Lukas doesn’t even want to admit that this is something. But he is and it sets his blood on fire.
“I knocked my hip against the bathroom counter last night; 6 weeks isn’t enough time to get used to a house.” Lukas nods his head like he understands, but he doesn’t. “Hey. Lukas, look at me. Dude, seriously just -- look at me.” Philip uses his hands to direct Lukas’ attention back to him, to his face. “We’re fine. It’s fine okay? I get it. It’s okay.” He pauses bringing one of his hands to wrap around the back of Lukas’ neck. “It’s okay.”
Lukas pulls him down so that they’re on the same level and kisses him softly. He lays back on the bed, pulling Philip with him, waiting for Philip to turn it heated, waiting for him to make the next move because he doesn’t know anymore. He doesn’t know. Philip keeps their pace the same though, like he knows what Lukas is trying to do and is pushing him to make the decision. I want you to be that guy. I want you, Lukas. You need to decide.
He places his hands firmly on the back of Philip’s thighs and stands up with Philip wrapping his legs around Lukas’ waist and finally, finally turns the kiss into everything that he’s become used to.
*****
Everybody in the school seems to know that Lukas and Philip are together only just a week later, and it still makes him anxious, the thought of them all knowing that Philip is something to him and not just a face in the crowd. It also doesn’t help that Philip is leaning against his locker when he gets to school in the morning. He’s scrolling through his phone and jumps when Lukas takes it out of his hands.
“For somebody that likes taking pictures you suck at being observant,” he teases lightly, pocketing the phone. He likes this, likes that he can openly talk to Philip without it feeling like the world is going to suddenly come down on him.
“You’re an asshole,” Philip answers and reaches into Lukas’ back pocket to get his phone back. He didn’t need to do that, since his phone stuck out the top of his pants enough that Philip could have easily grabbed it, but he does anyway. His stomach doesn’t churn at the thought of somebody seeing them.
“That’s not what you were saying last night.” The joke rolls easily enough off his tongue, so much so that he doesn’t really register what he’s said. They haven’t done anything except heavy make outs on Lukas’ bed, and he doesn’t know why he has to ruin a good thing with his big mouth.
“You’re right babe. That’s not what I said,” Philip says, wrapping his arm around Lukas’ waist and pressing on the spot in between his third and fourth rib. Lukas grinds his teeth and shrugs off Philip’s arm.
“Uncalled for, Shea.” The spot is a hickey, the one that Philip had left last night, that Lukas had stared at in the bathroom mirror for fifteen minutes trying to decide whether or not he was okay with it. Philip had never left any marks before, not since now, but now that he had the warmness the sight brought him was enough for him to realize that he didn’t mind.
“Bite me, Waldenbeck,” he responds while walking away to get to his first period class on time.
*****
They’re laying in Lukas’ bed, Lukas with his arm thrown over Philip’s middle, leaving soft, open mouthed kisses to the other boy’s shoulder. Today marked them being together for three months. He didn’t think that they would make it past the first week, let alone three months. The warmth that spreads over Lukas whenever Philip smiles tells him that he doesn’t have anything to worry about if he ever starts to doubt what he feels.
“Hey,” Philip whispers to get his attention. Lukas hums in response, smiling when Philip entangles their hands together. “It’s supposed to rain all weekend. Am I staying over?” Philip isn’t bothered by the rain and would trek up to Lukas’ house, but Helen doesn’t want him out when it rains.
“Yeah, my dad’s in Poughkeepsie all weekend so we have the place to ourselves.” Philip hums quietly before extracting himself from his hold to go track down his cell phone. “Living room table,” Lukas reminds him. They had tried to accomplish some homework, tried anyway. It never really works out that way when Philip’s around, but Lukas doesn’t really mind.
When Philip returns he’s scrolling through his phone, and Lukas wonders how he didn’t trip up the stairs with the amount of focus he’s putting into it.
“What are you staring at?” Lukas questions and Philip looks up at him briefly and smiles.
“You,” he answers and crawls back onto the bed with his photos open and one of the videos he’d taken pulled up. “I’m gonna edit it later, try to enhance some of the shots I took.” Lukas nods and taps a small beat on the part of Philip’s stomach where his hand rests. Philip moves one of his hands from the phone to connect it with the one Lukas has on his stomach.
“I’m tired,” Lukas mumbles after he’s watched Philip scroll through his camera roll, seeing that most of the photos are ones of Lukas on his dirt bike. The other are of things Philip had found interesting to capture and Lukas scoffs when he sees the one photo he had told Philip to delete. “I thought you deleted that!” He tries to snatch the phone away but Philip scrambles away, laughter tumbling out.
“You look cute babe, really. The mud really brings out your dashing personality,” Philip teases and locks his phone, the resounding click making his fate final. The photo had been taken a month back, when Lukas had laid down his bike once again while trying out a new trick, but this time he’d fallen into a small creek mostly filled with mud. Just his luck that Philip had his phone out.
“Rude.” Philip shrugs and steps up onto the bed. “I could have died, Philip, and you didn’t even have any sympathy for me. What kind of person does that?” He wouldn’t have died, not even close; severely bruised and battered from the fall, but he wouldn’t have died.
“You’re so dramatic. We had the same bruises remember, my sympathy stretched to helping you out of the creek. I didn’t have to do that,” he reminds.
“I hate you,” Lukas voices and Philip raises an eyebrow.
“Really? These say otherwise.” He lifts the sweatshirt that isn’t his to show the hickeys that are scattered. Lukas blushes a bright red, reaching his hand out he tugs Philip down on top of him.
“You’re very smug for somebody that could barely speak an hour ago.” Philip scoffs, but that’s as far as he goes to try and deny the accusation. Lukas cracks a smile and brings Philip closer into a kiss.
When they part, Philip rolls off from straddling Lukas’ hips and puts them back into the position they were before he had to get up and grab his phone.
“Movie?” Lukas asks after yawning, knowing that they’re both going to fall asleep half way through it.
“I get to choose this time. Your movie taste sucks.”
“I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now,” Lukas mumbles into Philip’s shoulder.
“You can leave,” he suggests. “Sleep by yourself on the couch with your own movie.”
“Wow. Threatening to sleep by myself? That’s low, Philip, even for you.” These sarcastic comments have always been a part of who they are, so it’s just their luck that together they seem to actively try to out do the other.
“Shut up, the movies on.” Lukas rolls his eyes and directs his attention to the tv screen that shows VUDU is loading Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
“I’m not even surprised.” Philip shoves his elbow into Lukas’ side making him squawk at the uncomfortable dig.
He was right though, they both fall asleep halfway through the movie, and when Lukas wakes up a few hours later, they’re both so entangled it’s hard to know where one begins and the other ends. Lukas can’t say that he minds all that much.