Chapter Text
Chapter 1:
Well fuck. That happened quickly. They’d only just decided to try for kids. Shane retired earlier than he would have liked thanks to a major knee injury. So they agreed that he would be the one to get pregnant first. But the doctor had warned it may take a while. Some patients didn’t see results for a year or more. But he was staring at a plus sign on a stick, so that didn’t seem to be a problem for them. He called and made an appointment for the next week on Ilya’s day off so they could confirm together.
Ilya was at practice. It would be a while before he made it home, so Shane decided to try and get a little celebration together. His diet had relaxed after his retirement, so he thought this was a perfect time to indulge in a meal like chicken parm. He’d had to call his dad for the recipe and gone grocery shopping. He’d picked up a small cake, chocolate with blackberry jam, and a pack of candles.
Ilya was tired. He was glad to be going home. Not going to practice with Shane sucked and he wasn’t used to it yet. He had worked hard but the extra competitive edge he’d gotten used wasn’t there anymore. They had a new guy, Jeremiah, and he was blending into the team pretty well. He was from Iowa or Idaho. The one that loved potatoes? Ilya would never get used to what different states took pride in. Potatoes would be far down on his bragging list but luckily, he was now Canadian. The weirdos in America could do whatever they wanted with their need to differentiate their states from one another.
Pulling into the garage always gave him a sense of calm. He was home. He let out a deep breath and walked into the house.
“Solynshko? Where are you?” Anya ran towards him demanding attention. “Hello my love! Did you have an exciting day? I hope you enjoyed your long walk. It’s good for Shane and you are wonderful at getting him outside. You’re perfect and I love you so much.” He glanced around the living room but found it empty. “Shane?” Ilya started towards the kitchen and noticed the wonderful smell of breaded chicken, red sauce, and melted cheese wafting down the short staircase. “Shane? Did you make chicken parmesan? You know how that excites me. If you wanted a reward, you’re certainly using the right tactics.” He made it to the doorway and saw his husband meticulously straightening the silverware on the dining room table. “Hey”, Hollander said shyly. ‘I made you dinner.” “I noticed. It smells delicious.” Ilya made his way over and hugged the brunette from behind. “What's the occasion?” he whispered into his dark hair. “Let’s eat first”, Hollander replied as he turned around to give his husband a kiss. “It’s a surprise.”
Dinner was served and enjoyed. Ilya couldn’t stop staring at Shane. “What? Do I have sauce on my face?” Ilya grinned.” No, Solynshko. I was just noticing how much you’re blushing tonight. What do you have planned?” Shane looked into his eyes with a goofy smile on his face. “I can’t just make you dinner?” “You’re never this nervous when it’s just dinner. Also you said you had a surprise. C’mon, tell me. I want to share in the excitement.”
Shane abruptly stood up and went into the kitchen, returning shortly with a small cake. Ilya could see holes in the top where the icing was disturbed. “Err, did you put candles in here before?” “I’m pregnant”, Shane blurted out. “I bought candles cause I thought it would be good for a celebration but then I felt stupid because it’s not anyone’s birthday and so there’s no need to blow them out – “
Ilya held up a hand. His eyes were misty and he whispered “You’re pregnant? Already?” Shane nodded nervously. “At least I think so. I used a home test that came back positive. I made an appointment for us next Thursday to find out for sure.” “Ilya put his hands on Shane's face and kissed him softly. They rested their foreheads against each other and took a moment to just breathe together.
“That was fast,” Ilya said, a note of humor in his voice. “No time to waste, eh?” Shane smiled, his eyes a little watery. “Yeah,” he whispered. “Guess we got lucky.” “Always.”
*****
The doctor’s appointment confirmed it and gave Shane a list of foods that he could no longer eat. Ilya rolled his eyes. “I just got him to relax about our grocery list.” Shane thumped him on the shoulder. “Don’t be an asshole.” Ilya smirked as he said “Never in life have I done this, but I will be less of an asshole around you. It will not be easy, so I expect a lot of treats for doing well.” Shane rolled his eyes. “I’ll be sure to give you some when Anya’s earned any.” “I don’t think she’s interested in the same kind of treats.” Shane glanced at the doctor and blushed. They took their paperwork and said their goodbyes.
In the car, Shane insisted on driving and ilya couldn’t stop touching him as he sat in the passenger seat. A grasp around the back of neck, a squeeze of their hands, a pat on the leg. It was like he was making sure Shane was still close by. And he couldn’t stop smiling. “You look really sappy,” Shane told him. Ilya dramatically threw his head back and placed his hands over his heart. “I am allowed! WE ARE HAVING A BABY!” Shane laughed. “Yes, we are. I couldn’t pick a better person to have one with.” Ilya rolled down the window and stuck his face outside like a golden retriever. “MY HUSBAND AND I ARE HAVING A BABY! IT WILL BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BABY IN THE WORLD AND THE SMARTEST AND THE FASTEST! THIS BABY WILL WIN OLYMPIC MEDALS!”
Shane grabbed him by the collar and tugged him back into the car. “Are you crazy?! Don’t stick your head out the window! You could get hurt! Then where would I be? A single father because my husband decided to be a dumbass?”
Ilya looked at him seriously. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think. I will be more careful.” Now Shane reached over to hold hands. “It’s ok. I worry. Maybe too much. But you not worrying helps us balance out. We’ll make the perfect team for the baby.”
“We’re having a baby,” Ilya whispered. Shane started crying softly. “Yeah, we are.” They gripped each other’s hands for the rest of the ride home.
The rest of the day was dreamy. The springtime weather outside was bright, and the afternoon passed in easy delight.
*******
“When should we tell my parents?”
Ilya frowned. “What do you mean?”
Shane grabbed his sandwich and took an enormous bite. “We need to tell my parents. They’re gonna be so happy. You know my dad can’t wait to be a grandpa. He’s totally going to cry. My mom will probably start planning a college fund right away.”
“We shouldn’t tell people. It’s bad luck.”
“I know we can’t tell everyone, but we should tell my parents. And maybe Hayden and Svetlana. And Rose.”
“I do not want to tell Rose.” Shane rolled his eyes. “She can’t still bother you.” Ilya made a face but gave no retort.
“Anyways, I want to tell them. I might have questions and you’re gone a lot. I want other people to know in case I need help.” Ilya grimaced. That was a good reason to let others in on the secret. He still didn’t want to though. He wanted his family to stay safe and at that moment, that felt like keeping everything between him and his husband. “That makes sense but it feels wrong. Let me think about it. We can have a little while when it’s just us, yes?” Shane nodded. “We’ve got time for sure.”
*******
The next few weeks were laid back. They both kept looking at each with goofy grins. Ilya had started talking to Shane’s belly, and it became part of their nighttime routine. He would lie with his head on Shane’s stomach, murmuring in Russian. The topics he spoke of varied; it might be what they did that day, what he’s most excited about becoming a dad, dreams of what they’ll do as a family of three, and once he rubbed the still taut skin of Shane’s abs with a whispered “Please be safe. I want to meet you very much.” Shane would lean back against the headboard and run his fingers through Ilya’s hair. It was so charming to see his hulking bear of a husband hunker down and whisper sweet nothings to the kid still growing inside of him.
The biggest change in their relationship was that they sort of switched roles. Shane became more confident as the pregnancy progressed. He felt strong and studied in great detail all the developments their fetus was going through. He even made a chart that said what to expect in the upcoming weeks and months. Any time he hit a milestone, he put a checkmark. He talked to the doctor at his regular appointments and put reminders on the fridge. Overall, he slept well, maintained his physical fitness through pregnancy safe activities, and excitedly looked into various baby products.
Ilya, however, had become much more nervous. When he was away from home, he worried constantly that he was going to get a phone call telling him to rush to the hospital, that something had happened to Shane or the baby. He double checked everything they bought to make sure it was safe to have around, and he insisted on carrying anything heavier than a coffee cup for his husband. Shane found it all equal parts adorable and exasperating.
“I can haul a bag of groceries out of the car by myself.” “Of course you can, Solynshko. But I am here and I will make sure you stay safe and pretty over there. Go inside and drink some water, hmm? It will be good for you.” Shane rolled his eyes but went inside. Ilya put all the groceries away and began to pace the living room, muttering things under his breath that Shane was sure were only “what ifs” that Ilya insisted on imagining.
“Hey,” he called over softly. “Come sit with me.” Ilya came over, sitting behind Shane on the couch so they could both lounge while touching each other. “Hey,” Shane whispered again. “Let’s talk.” “Of course. What would you like to talk about? Do you want something to eat? We can order in. You liked that vegan place –” Shane leaned over and kissed him. “Take a breath.” There was a smile in his voice, and Ilya closed his eyes for a moment.
“I love you, you know that right? Even though you’re an asshole a lot of the time.” The familiar line was said with affection. Ilya huffed. “Yeah, I know.” “You don’t have to worry so much. I’m really ok. I will tell you if something feels off.” Ilya was silent. He looked scared. “I just…I want this so much.” “Me too, Ilya. But can you try to be more excited than worried? Maybe talk to Galina about it? Cause it’s making me worried about you.” Ilya seemed to shrink slightly. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I need you both so much. It gets… overwhelming? Is right word”? “Yeah. And that makes sense! This is a big deal.” Ilya visibly attempted to relax. He brought his shoulders down and loosened his limbs. “I will try.”
“Do you want a distraction?” Ilya leered. Shane laughed. “We can do that too. But we should start setting up the baby’s room. Pick out a crib, decide on paint color. I started a spreadsheet.” “Of course you did,” Ilya chuckled. “Yeah, I’d like to look.” “Ok, so this first column is the rating by Consumer Reports and this second column is ratings by people on this parenting blog that I found…” Ilya let his husband’s chatter wash over him. Yes, he could try to be excited about all this. “We can tell your parents.” Shane looked up from the laptop. “Yeah? I’ll invite them over for dinner later this week. They’re gonna be stoked.”
Yuna and David came over a few days later and were indeed stoked. David got misty eyed, which was expected but so did Yuna, which was not. She got up and walked around the table to hug them, first Shane and then Ilya. Ilya was surprised at how hard she hugged him and how long she held on. “You’re going to be an amazing father.” He clenched his teeth to try and stop from crying, couldn’t talk. She leaned back and looked him in the eyes. “I couldn’t imagine a better partner for my son to have a baby with.” Ilya did cry then and pulled her back into a hug.
David was next and embraced his son-in-law with a level of emotion he hadn’t displayed since their wedding day a few years prior. “I’m going to be a grandpa,” he whispered. “The best there ever was,” Ilya whispered back. It felt good to tell them. To have their little family of three expand to include more people to love their little tomato. “I’m scared though,” he confessed to David. “Good. You should be. It’s terrifying. And hard. But you’re wonderfully good at doing hard things.” Ilya nodded. He wished more than anything for he better understood how being a parent worked. He knew how to work hard. He could do that as much as his kid needed him to.