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“I could kiss you.”
Jack says that a lot. He says it after the car burial in Eastern Europe, he says it after the bomb incident in New York, he says it after every near-death experience they miraculously emerge from unscathed. He says it every damn time. Mac always brushes it off with some snarky comment like “Just knowing you want to do it is enough, thanks.” And it’s true. Sort of. It would be, if Mac thought Jack meant it. But he doesn’t. It’s just an adrenaline-fueled response to yet another instance when it should have been the end but wasn’t. Because if Mac thought Jack meant it, he’d take him up on it, every damn time, because Mac wants to. He wants to so damn much.
But it will never happen. Every time those four words fall from Jack’s mouth, Mac has to remind himself they’re not true. It’s just Jack’s attempt to lighten the mood, to cut through the suffocating feeling that this could have been it , that next time they might not be so lucky. Because Jack Dalton is undisputedly a ladies’ man, and he would never, ever seriously consider kissing his very male partner.
So Mac keeps his feeling bottled up under layers of sarcasm, careful never to let the truth seep through. Still, Mac can’t help the jolt of electricity that zings through him every time Jack says those words. He can’t help thinking every so often that next time, next time Jack does it, Mac’s going to take him up on it.
U ntil one day Mac snaps. It was a closer call than most, and Mac honestly didn’t think either of them was going to make it out alive. Mac knew as soon as he saw it the bomb was going to be a bitch to disarm, assume he even could. It was one of the few times in his life Mac was truly uncertain about his chances, but Angus MacGyver did not give up easily.
“Go, Jack,” Mac said, quietly, trying not to let his fear show.
“What?!? No way!” Jack said.
“Jack,” Mac said, more firmly, “I mean it. Go. Now.”
“Forget it,” Jack said. “If you stay, I stay.”
“Jack, this is non-negotiable. Go.”
Jack crossed his arms stubbornly. “I’m staying. And that’s non-negotiable.”
Mac felt sweat breaking out on his brow. “Jack, you have to go. I’m. . .I’m not sure I can disarm it,” he admitted.
“The we’ll get blown to pieces together,” Jack said with finality.
Mac wasn’t sure whether to curse Jack or praise him. It was just like him to be concerned for Mac’s safety over his own. That was what Mac loved about him. Wait, love? Mac had never even thought that before. Lust, sure; affection, definitely; friendship beyond a doubt. If they ever got together, Mac sure as hell hoped it wouldn’t be just a one night stand, but he’d never let himself think beyond friends with benefits, and even that he knew was a pipe dream.
But now, with the timer ticking away, and the chances of survival getting smaller and smaller with each click, Mac could admit it, at least to himself. He was in love with Jack Dalton.
Too bad he’d never get a chance to do anything about it. Mac resolved that, if they did survive, and he heard those four magic words again, Mac was going to kiss Jack, consequences be damned. But they had to make it out of here first.
Mac waited until the last possible second, desperately trying to disarm the bomb. Finally, he admitted defeat. “Run, Jack!” he screamed.
They took off running, trying to put as much distance between themselves and the bomb as possible before it blew. They couldn’t quite clear the blast radius, though, and the force slammed into them and sent them flying.
Mac recovered first. He slowly lifted himself to a sitting position and took stock. His ears were ringing, and he had scrapes on his hands, arms, and knees, but that seemed to be all. He got unsteadily to his feet and looked around for Jack.
Mac found him about a hundred yards away. The blast must have caught him more strongly. Mac’s heart stopped when he saw Jack. The older man was sprawled on the ground, unmoving.
Mac raced to his friend’s side. “Jack! Jack, can you hear me? Answer me, Jack!” Mac couldn’t keep the panic out of his voice, and it ratcheted nearly out of control when Jack didn’t respond. Mac crouched down and placed two fingers on Jack’s neck. Jack’s pulse hummed strong and steady beneath his fingers, and Mac breathed a sigh of relief. Jack was alive.
Just then, Jack let out a low groan and opened his eyes. They were unfocused at first, then fastened on Mac.
“Jack, are you alright?” Mac demanded.
“That depends. Am I alive?”
Mac let out a small laugh and had to strangle it before it turned into hysteria. “Yeah. Yeah, buddy, you’re alive. We both are.” He helped Jack to a sitting position. “Can you walk?”
Jack waved Mac off. “Yeah, yeah. Just give me a second.” He took a few deep breaths, then said those words Mac had been waiting to hear. “I could kiss you.”
Mac wanted to come up with a clever rejoinder, something like “I’ll take you up on that,” or “What are you waiting for?” or even just “Go ahead.” His voice wouldn’t work, though. He was too choked up with the emotions caused by their near miss. He just launched himself at Jack, locking their lips together.
Jack stopped him with a hand to the chest. “Whoa, there, kid. Take it easy.”
Mac leaped back as though he’d been burned. “Sorry, sorry. I know you didn’t mean it. I just got carried away.”
“Hey, no, that’s not what I meant. I just meant if you don’t curb your enthusiasm, we’re both going to end up on the ground, and cracking my head against concrete once today is enough.”
Mac was confused. “I, I don’t understand.”
Jack struggled to his feet and held out an arm, motioning Mac to come closer. Hesitantly, Mac approached the older man. When he was close enough, Jack drew him in, wrapping his other arm around the blond in the biggest, tightest hug Mac had ever felt. Mac buried his face in Jack’s chest, wanting to imprint the other man’s smell on his memory. It smelled of dirt and explosive, but it also smelled of Jack, and Mac thought he could just stand there all day, wrapped in Jack’s arms and breathing him in.
It didn’t seem like Jack was going to let him, though. He tapped Mac on the chin. “Look at me.”
Reluctantly, Mac looked up, uncertain what he would see. The look in Jack’s eyes took his breath away. It was a look he’d never seen before. It was tender and caring, and for just a second Mac allowed himself to hope.
Then Jack opened his mouth , and Mac knew this was it; this was when Jack shattered all his dreams. He closed his eyes and waited for what was coming.
Jack tapped his chin again. “Open your eyes and look at me.” Even more reluctantly, Mac did as he was told, meeting Jack’s brown eyes with his own blue. Jack looked like he was about to say something, but leaned in instead, until their lips were just millimeters apart. Mac felt Jack’s warm breath ghost across his lips before the brunette closed the remaining distance between them.
Mac’s eyes fluttered closed. This wasn’t the frantic, life-affirming kiss Mac had initiated. This was soft and full of promise. It lasted just a few seconds, then Jack pulled back, smiling affectionately at Mac. “Oh, I meant it,” Jack said. “I absolutely, 100% meant it.”
Mac grinned, the smile lighting up his face. He raised a hand and stroked Jack’s face. The other man leaned into his touch. Mac brought their lips together again. “I could kiss you,” he murmured as their lips met.