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The waves splashed against the sand. It was the only noise in the cold air that Akutagawa and Atsushi were taking comfort in. The moonlight illuminated the grains of sand they were stepping on. Making it look like a dump of jewels. Atsushi let out a breath.
A few weeks into the Agency he refused to look at the moon. The light shining against his skin made him retreat back into the dark like it burned. He was scared. Scared that the roars of the tiger will win against him. That the silver beast shall claw its way out of the weak boy and terrorize the people around him.
However, Akutagawa’s presence beside him gave the comfort he desperately needed in these nights. That the reassurance was that if the moon tempts the tiger too much that the black tendrils will wrap around the tiger. And eventually, when the time comes for the sun to rise. The boy would come back to being wrapped in a tight, comfortable hold of black cloth.
The sand was getting in his shoes. He grimaced.
Atsushi could protect himself against the power of the moon. He did it many times. But sometimes the light was a match. Burning him apart. Stripping him bare of his resolve to cradle that tiger.
Atsushi watched the man beside him. Akutagawa’s gaze was set in front of them. Guiding them through the dark of the beach. A part of him wanted to bring out the claws. To scratch the man’s face. Out of hatred of what he represents. The things he said. The people he hurt. He wanted to see the blood flow for him to show penance against the deeds he did. But another part of him - the one that cares for his Agency members - wanted to grip the back of the black hair and force it to look at him instead of their goals.
For the man’s sharp, grey eyes to look into his own purple-yellow eyes. He couldn’t hide the warmth inside his own. Many teases came from the Agency members when Atsushi and Akutagawa were beside each other. In response, Atsushi would always blush and run away from Akutagawa’s questioning gaze. If Atsushi was to look into those eyes, he would be able to see the love reflected in his own.
Hidden from the moon and in the silence of his closet. The thought of that scared him. That a man like Akutagawa would be able to see the love that he had for one of the most dangerous men Atsushi had ever met.
That a man like Akutagawa harms and treats people like they’re worthless - mirroring Atsushi’s own abuse from the headmaster- managed to grab the broken pieces of Atsushi’s rotting heart, hold it tightly and never let go. Even when moments in days where Atsushi begs him to let go. To stop harming it so much, letting the blood run down Akutagawa’s fingers.
In the dark of night, the moon was hidden behind the curtains. A small lamp was lit and it was practically burning its energy away. Useless heat there and a useless warmth around him. Kyouka hugged him on the floor. Calming him down as he cried and sobbed for being in love. Her hand rubbed his back and she kept silent - letting Atsushi to let it all out. Every time that happened, they always got closer. Secrets spilled that bonded them closer like a wire that pains them both.
There were also times where the warmth exploded in Atsushi’s body. After missions, Akutagawa trusted him enough to let him bandage him up. When Atsushi would get embarrassed because he was hungry and his stomach sounded like it was preparing for another war. Akutagawa would just show him a small smile - a beautiful one, always managing to stop Atsushi’s train of thought - and drag him into a fancy restaurant, pay for the food and leave a comfortable silence between them. Sometimes while they wait for their target, they would talk. Talk in a way Atsushi never had anyone to talk to. Exposing one another and letting the black blood run out of their bodies.
Atsushi sighed. Glancing back to his sand covered shoes. They were here out of Atsushi’s request to ‘cool down’ after a messy mission. Blood was all over them and Atsushi’s clothes were ripped. The air was getting chilled and he wanted Rashomon to wrap around him. He bit his tongue. He looked back at Akutagawa, he looked handsome in the moonlight. Like he belonged. Protecting Atsushi from it and in the end looking more human than looking like a hellhound.
Atsushi sighed once more, earning a look from Akutagawa.
“What?”
Atsushi raised an eyebrow, “What what.”
Akutagawa frowned, “Why are you doing that?”
“Doing what?”
“Being tired.”
Atsushi blinked, “Because I’m tired!”
Akutagawa continued walking but still examined Atsushi. Atsushi refused to look into his eyes.
“How’s the Agency doing?”
Atsushi’s head snapped back up, and he rolled his eyes. Though a blush rose to his cheeks, “They’re trying to get me out of the office so they can host a party. They’re not doing very well at keeping it a secret though.”
Akutagawa glanced over his shoulder, “A party?”
Atsushi smiled, “Yeah for my birthday. I’m not sure why though- I never really celebrated it. It’s weird to start now. And it’s not necessary.”
Akutagawa kept silent leaving Atsushi’s thoughts a mess wondering if he said anything wrong.
“Gin does that too. I also don’t understand celebrating the moment we were born into this world.” He continued, staring at Atsushi “Though. I think I see the appeal now.”
Atsushi grimaced, “What?”
Akutagawa chuckled, “Go ahead. What do you want for your birthday? Chazuke? A tiger rug for your small apartment?”
Atsushi blushed, “I don't want anything.”
“Lies. There is always something you want. Either way you will not go without a gift. My honour will be shattered by not giving something to my useless partner.”
“Hey!”
Atsushi looked down at Akutagawa’s hands. His own were covered by warm fingerless gloves. Smaller than Akutagawa’s but the black-haired man’s were thinner. His hands were pale, brushing against his black coat often. A deep contrast.
“So. Jinko. What do you want?”
Atsushi could hear his heartbeat in his ears. Thumping loud and scared. It seemed too much and he didn’t want to say anything but. But there was a sudden heat of contact. Pale, slender fingers met his own.
Atsushi gasped and glanced up at Akutagawa’s ears - a light pink- then back to Akutagawa’s thumb rubbing circles into the back of his hand. He stared in astonishment. The grip itself was awkward but he didn’t care. It felt like his dreams were mixing with reality.
Wait. Was this a dream? He tried to remove his hand from Akutagawa’s hold to pinch himself except the man gripped tighter. Refusing to let go. His face felt red and his body was tingling.
Through the contact he could practically feel the rapid heartbeat on Akutagawa’s palm - mirroring Atsushi’s.
Everything felt nice. The air got warmer, the sand wasn’t getting into his shoes anymore. The wind was preventing his hair from landing on his face and the awkwardness went away to be replaced with a sense of comfort.
He felt protected now.
Like the moon’s taunting light would never reach him if he would stay behind the shadows.
A grin stretched across his face as he held Akutagawa’s hands tighter.
Kyouka is going to need some more tissue paper because he was sure after this outing he was going to sob. Tears that he is sure will eventually flow on the sand he was walking on.