Work Text:
“Women are just incredible, aren’t they, Gloria?” Bright, perfect (so perfect) blue eyes sparkle at her.
Gloria has to stop for a second, face slightly away from those blue eyes — perfect, like a doll’s, even now — and focus on what Barbie said.
And then she laughs.
“What’s funny?” Barbie asks, concerned she’s said something silly again (like she usually does). Daily, she tries to sound less… her, as a doll, and more human-like.
More real. Like Gloria.
The ideal woman in front of her just shakes her head with a slow smile. “No, it’s just that this is the first time someone said that to me without trying to sell some product.”
Barbie doesn’t understand.
So many things Gloria mentions off-handedly: a throwaway joke, a quick look between mother and daughter, a reference to some ‘jingle’ — whatever that is — from the ‘good old days’, as she calls it…
It bothers Barbie.
Even now, as a full woman — with stripes, lines, wrinkles, and all she displays proudly — the blonde is still not quite there yet. She feels incomplete.
Gloria is perfection itself. And yet every time Barbie so much as mentions it, the very notion is completely denied.
“The perfect one is you,” Gloria says it as if fact.
Barbie can’t understand it. Like so many other things in this confusing, chaotic, and wonderful world.
It is… a lot.
So many organs, names, connections, things inside… and all completely hidden. The image of a ‘flower’, as her doctor gives it, doesn’t quite encapsulate it all for Barbie.
She could see and touch flowers in their entirety, after all.
But this… it was all so hidden, so inaccessible, it was a bit scary.
Just a bit.
It was also so, so mystifying and interesting. Something completely new, unavailable in a doll’s body.
All for her to discover now.
Her visits to the OBGYN are more frequent than one would expect at her age, but Barbie goes to learn. This is all, quite literally, new and unexplored in her body.
As an expert in many fields, she vows to become one in this as well.
“Regretting your decision yet?”
The words are cruel, but there is no intention behind them. Just tired, well-known empathy from someone who’s lived through this for a long time now. Gloria just smiles down at her, so kindly, patiently that Barbie feels tears trickling.
Why is she so prone to crying in days like these?
And why does it hate so much?
She well and truly hates it.
But the answer to Gloria’s question is and always will be the same.
“Never.”
Brown her eyes widen slightly and then return to that patient, knowing gaze. A calloused and warm hand gently stroked blonde hair.
The one good thing on days like these is how much Gloria pampers her. Barbie didn’t quite think it was pampering, but Sasha told her there was no other word for it.
Living together makes it all so much easier. They get to share in the pain, pick their comfort movie of the month — how come Barbie Land didn’t have that? — and snuggle under the blankets on the couch. It dulls the pain and discomfort, if only a little bit.
It still feels awful every month — and Gloria and her doctor warned of it, but Barbie was eager to try out every possible experience — but being together at such times gives her a sense of comfort she’d never had before.
Sasha sums it up pretty well before they start an indie romcom picked by her, “Being a woman sucks, but it’s not always that bad.”
Barbie disagrees with the first part but nods anyway. Gloria knows all too well.
She tries out many professions.
Some of them were surprisingly rather similar (accountant, wedding planner, writer) and others so vastly different it was a wonder they had similar names (cook, nurse, lawyer, and, she assumes, firefighter and doctor). Sasha helps her participate in career days — some even for younger children — so she can get a taste for ‘the real thing’.
At first, Barbie thought it was rather silly. She’s been every single profession, after all! Why would she try them all over again, even if she herself wasn’t a particular profession? The memories and skills existed between Barbies, after all.
Turns out things are not quite so simple. And Sasha’s school’s career days were not enough.
The real world is vast and with so much depth. It gets to be scary quite a bit. Seeing real blood, experiencing taking care of the elderly, and dealing with real fire were irreplaceable experiences. Truly unforgettable and difficult to deal with.
“You should pick well.” Both Gloria and Sasha say, very seriously in a lazy afternoon where they’re eating ice cream (Barbie’s new favorite thing; flavor of the month? Strawberry).
“Hmm?” Barbie is listening, she is, but the taste is so wonderful it always takes over all her senses.
True, real ice cream is so cold it can give you brain freeze (something she never quite knew before) and sometimes the flavor is pretty bad, and if you wait too long, you’ll be covered in a mess… all part of the experience, and what an experience it is.
Gloria’s expression brings her fully back to the discussion, though. This is one of the times the older (perfect) woman is worried about Barbie, and that’s not something that should keep happening.
“Mom’s right. A job is something serious, Barbie, especially if you’re gonna waste money and time to do it. Take it from me, you don’t wanna mess it up.” She says as she devours the mint ice cream.
“Take it from you? Please, you’re not even in the real world yet!” Gloria laughs and licks her chocolate remains.
Barbie is trying to pay attention. She really is.
But the way Gloria eats ice cream should be illegal. She’s never seen anyone — Barbie included — eat like this. In such an attention-grabbing, mind-erasing way. What seemed to be a human ability at first turned out to be a Gloria thing.
Only she could draw these reactions from Barbie. And it never seemed like anyone reacted the same way, even her husband. It was weird.
Barbie frowns. “How is Sasha not in the real world?”
It doesn’t make sense. The teenager is a fully born human. If she isn’t in it, how is Barbie?
Gloria notices the confusion and smiles comfortingly. By now, she knows saying ‘it’s a human thing’ doesn’t actually solve or explain anything — it only makes Barbie worry more.
“Sasha still has a long way to go until she picks a job. She needs to study first. That’s why we say ‘real world’, but not like… You know, ‘real world’, right?” Gloria moves her hands, trying to draw the concept out.
“Wow, mom.” Sasha’s eye roll isn’t as mean as it was before, and Gloria takes it in stride.
Barbie feels like she understands. A little bit, at least.
“You don’t just become a profession.” She both asks and says as a fact.
The mother and daughter nod, ice creams long eaten. They start to explain more about the human world, schools, jobs, and degrees.
The delightful strawberry ice cream lay forgotten.
“Got used to driving yet?” Gloria’s (now ex) husband asks her, enthused.
He’s always been the most confused one about what exactly happened with Barbie Land, but thankfully, understanding and patience are traits he shares with his Gloria.
Barbie doesn’t quite understand what Gloria and he had; it’s too close to what Ken tried so many times to create between them. It never felt quite as comfortable with Ken as it did with Gloria. And apparently, it went both ways.
Sasha’s father is, as always, amicable and excited to follow on the adventures of the ex-doll, as he calls it. Barbie isn’t a fan of the title, but she only smiles and nods. It is one skill from Barbieland that is extremely useful in the real world.
Driving is not as fun here as it was before, she must admit. Instead of flying and being right at the exact spot she wished for in seconds, being inside a metal contraption for hours on end — especially in hot days — and hearing honks and horns got… extremely tiring. She’d once asked Gloria and her family why accidents even happened, as there were surely never in Barbieland (though they still had, of course, doctors). The family only laughed and said, “Just wait, Barbie.”
And, indeed, she waited, and now she knew.
Driving in the city isn’t as fun, but she’s so thankful the family took time to teach her — and Sasha learned with her! — this essential new skill in this world.
It will never be quite the same as driving in Barbieland, but she quite likes it when they take trips into new places, and the time then feels like only seconds away. Just like playtime again. So much fun, and it’s over much too soon.
The real sea truly is incomparable. A mighty, endless stretching wonder unlike any other. Not made of plastic.
Ken dropped the title of ‘Beach’ when he saw what the sea was really like (and what big waves did to someone not experienced).
She was asked out on a ‘date’. Such a weird thing, to call an event out the same word as the word for any day, ever. Sometimes Barbie doesn’t quite understand humans.
Each Barbie had their own Ken — and she herself never had quite her ‘Ken’, which feels right, in a way — and that was it. Allan was his own thing, though he did have Mindy once.
That same sense of inadequacy she felt back home came back tenfold. Now she always got questions and — she sees it now for what they were — propositions (not just people being nice to her). It’s expected of her, as a healthy young woman, to date. To ‘test the options’. To ‘settle down’. To be a wife. To be a woman, proper.
It feels like too much, and she is almost back at square one. Almost as if she was in that party, which now feels so long ago.
She doesn’t think of dying, not quite. But she does go back to that dangerously addictive notion of escaping. Of going to some brand new place where she can forget her troubles (and find new ones).
But she already did that before. And how lucky she was to have found a way to a truly brand new world.
This was a once-in-a-lifetime thing.
Barbie was happy to be a woman now. No longer a doll.
No longer a plaything. Even though some liked to treat her as such.
She doesn’t want to ‘date’ or do any of those things. After thoroughly researching the topic (and getting some mischievous answers from Sasha and stunted, awkward ones from Gloria) Barbie decided to let things be.
She could be a woman without doing any of that. Besides, being at home with Gloria and Sasha was a much more enjoyable notion than spending night after night with complete strangers. Especially as Sasha will soon leave, and Barbie wants to enjoy every last second.
“You really don’t want to date?” Gloria is always so surprised at that, even months later. To her, it seems unthinkable that Barbie would prefer to spend her nights and weekends at home.
Barbie doesn’t understand why that is an issue. She loves traveling and discovering new things — the human world never fails to disappoint! — and all that is so much more fun with Gloria around. It’s a completely different experience when the dark-haired, endlessly creative and inspiring woman is around. Even the little things are fun: the details Barbie would never notice, such as the use of color in a particularly striking painting or passing by a small park where Gloria liked to sit and read for a while.
The boring also becomes interesting with Gloria: they have their little nightly routine of just going over their day while washing and drying the dishes — a shared function where they like to switch roles. It took a while for Barbie to get the hang of using actual gloves and soap to wash — and these little moments, filled with silence and the ever-short sentence or joke, are so special to her.
This is what Barbie always wanted, even back when she didn’t know humans for dolls. Real for fiction. Plastic for depth, organic matter. Everything she strove for was, unknowingly, for this moment.
These small sections of just the two of them, doing nothing while also sharing everything. It’s so special, so comfortable.
So there's.
“I don’t see the reason for dating.” And Barbie means every word.
Only months later, she finds out that dating can be what they do. And the next step to that is living together, which they already aced it (as they do most things together).
Her so-called ‘flower’ is one tricky thing, to say the least. Barbie cannot comprehend why it is so difficult to use a woman’s part while men’s seem so much easier. It’s all right there and out, for the world to see. While hers is so hidden, she cannot understand it.
And how she tries.
Before she chooses an OBGYN — as one must try many things before deciding on one final choice — she asks the same questions: ‘how does it work?’, ‘how can I know I’m doing it right, reaching the correct spot?’, ‘Oh, I know all about toys! You see, I was one-‘
And she gets a myriad of answers, from the most confused to the most uninterested. She ends up choosing the kindest, most patient doctor. An old lady who’s seen it all and is too happy to help.
“Never feel ashamed of not knowing, darling. I’ve been a doctor for more than five decades, and I still discover something new every month! The human body is a mystery we still don’t know much about.” She says in the very first minutes of the session.
Barbie finally feels calm and completely accepted in a doctor’s office. It’s almost like she’s back home, with Gloria and Sasha, asking all of her questions about womanhood and getting real answers. Sometimes even her family doesn’t quite know what is what and exactly what purpose each serves. So Dr. Ruth is truly a godsend.
She doesn’t feel as alone here. And especially when she meets other patients who are also just now, as adults, discovering and exploring their own bodies, each with their own motive.
A room full of profound, lived, raw, and different women. A room that Barbie never wants to leave.
Except to go back home to Gloria.
Barbie hasn’t found her dream career yet.
It’s ironic, considering she technically did (almost) everything on the planet. But playing pretend and living the real deal are vastly different things. Some professions are another thing altogether.
She takes her time, though. Sasha figures out what she wants to do — psychology, focusing on young women; making them not walk down the path of indifference and misogyny she herself once did — and Barbie and Gloria are so proud.
Barbie still hasn’t figured out after a year, but it’s okay. Gloria never rushes her: with this or anything else.
“I’ve had a whole lifetime, and I’m still not sure what I really want to do!” She laughs in that loud, adorable way only she can.
“I’m glad you worked with Barbies, though.” Obviously, Barbie must say that.
How else would they have met?
She knows that deep down, Gloria has never truly forgiven herself for this whole thing. Believing her vision to be flawed, awry, or too dark even now — though she tells no one. The ideal Barbie in her vision is still that perfect, can-do-all woman who never suffers. But she much prefers the real Barbie, the one who messes up, thinks about dying, wants to give up and escape, is terrified of getting more lines in her body and aging, and doesn’t care about dating — this Barbie is perfect. Exactly because she is so flawed.
And Barbie will show Gloria how grateful she is, forever, as long as the other allows.
Gloria only smiles in that awkward, sardonic way of hers. But she understands. They can communicate sometimes in their own secret ways, more and more often now.
It’s thrilling for Barbie.
“Take your time, dear.” And Gloria’s soft, sweet voice, only reserved for her, melts something in Barbie.
Maybe she still has a bit of plastic at her core because it feels like Gloria can do as she pleases with her chest and her insides.
“You are so beautiful. The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” The mumbled voice between kisses is so low and heavy, it almost feels like someone else.
But the taste, so familiar now, and that comforting smell — like home — can be none other than Gloria.
This is the highest of all rushes: kissing Gloria, touching her, being together like this. It is something altogether.
Becoming human was so worth it just for this. Barbies and Kens (and Allans) cannot get to this type of fun. Barbie can never go back after this.
She tries to say the same words back (for they are true) but Gloria doesn’t let her. It seems like a lie to her, and so Barbie relents. For now. One day, she’ll make Gloria see her the way Barbie sees her: beautiful, warm, brave, powerful, strong, awkward, silly, wonderful, motherly, empathic, so intelligent, and so, so important.
No one can ever be Gloria. She has always been Barbie’s human, and that will never change.
Their first time, Gloria makes sure she can teach Barbie all she knows. And it becomes so much easier to understand the folds, the paths, the spots when someone is there to guide you. That toy finally feels like a toy, now that she gets to have fun with it.
But they always do it in the dark or with low lights. Gloria wants to see, touch, explore, smell, and do everything. She can’t allow Barbie the same, though.
“I’m too old now. Too different. I was never really pretty, really…” She wants to say. The ‘not like you’ part is so clear to hear even without words.
Gloria doesn’t like her skin, now taut, marked with sun, lines, pregnancy, and age. Her breasts sag, she says, having a baby changes things.
Barbie can’t see a single thing wrong. Humans are so strange. They get fixated on weird things — though so did she, so who is she to judge — but she cannot understand how society and Gloria can find this woman before her anything but beautiful.
It takes a long time, but they eventually do it with the lights on. Fully seeing everything, touching everything.
Gloria cries. So does Barbie. It’s the lightest, happiest both have ever felt.
Barbie does not figure everything out. Ever.
She finds many things, very slowly: how to drive, cook, make the bed, and wash the dishes. A good, nice work that matches her lifestyle and tastes (never the work of a lifetime or what she was born to do — and that’s okay).
How to be human — as much as humanly possible — and most importantly, how to be always decent to others. Everyone is always hurting, even if they don’t show it. She learned that well enough in her journey across Mattel and both worlds.
And, her favorite achievement: how to pleasure herself. It takes a long time (but by then she’s long past feeling ashamed for her body; it is hers and she has her own time) but oh how wonderful it is when she does understand.
Gloria is only too happy to help, be it with verbal or physical demonstrations. And Barbie has never been happier with her choice.
No make-believe time back in Barbieland could ever compare to this particular playtime.