Archive of Our Own

6 months ago

It was a simple ordeal. It always was. 

Step one: Don a wig, do some shapeshifting makeup magic, don't forget to warm up the vocal cords. A perfect disguise is a must.

Step two: Walk into the museum and act like you own the place. Would anyone stop a confident person? Especially when they appear affable? No they wouldn't. Acting is key.

Step three: Spy the forgotten artifact collecting dust, the one the client plans to use for Aeons knows what. Logistics are also important.

Step four: Don’t even worry about leaving fingerprints. When you’re as notorious as Sampo Koski, you're bound to get blamed for crimes that aren’t even your own. Might as well cash your own credit. And tuck the artifact under the impractically long yet bougie coat. All exposure is good exposure in the world of crime.

Ah, step five? Oh well, it’s simple, like everything else. “You know you won’t catch me Captain~” It’s also fun. Elating, even. 

Feeling the wind rush past his ears, Sampo turns into yet another alleyway. It’s his favourite part of the week. Gepard doesn’t grant Sampo the privilege of a response, instead he slams his guitar case on the concrete sending a plate of ice barreling towards Sampo.

“Yahoo!” Sampo yelps. Jumping, almost cartoonishly, over the slab. “This is why you're the most fun Geppie,” He yells over his shoulder. “You can almost keep up with me. Almost.” Sampo knows the city well. Better than any citizen. And since he’s also a criminal: So what if he doesn’t report that the sewer on the next right is inexplicably on a hill making it completely useless but also a great hiding place?

Sampo takes a left instead, then another left. Using a smoke bomb as distraction, he climbs up the side of the apartment and firmly plants his feet on the icy roof.

He should head straight ahead. He should. It’s simple. It’s always simple.

“How’re ya holding up little Geppie?” He sits down, dangling his feet. “We’ve been doing this little chase for about three hours now I think. Your cardio routine must be insane.” Gepard still doesn’t give him an answer. A pity really. The young Captain glares up at him, occasionally scanning the surroundings for a way up. “Do you, like, train all day? I have the wind aesthetic and all so it makes sense that I’m speedy. But you? It makes no sense! Especially when you're lugging around that guitar case and heavy armor.” No response. “Speaking of, what happened to the guitar inside? Surely your sister would never be so wasteful as to get—” Before Sampo can finish his sentence he’s dragged down by his left foot and pushed roughly against the wall.

“I did say talking would be your downfall.” Gepard handcuffed him in one smooth motion. “It’s over, Sampo Koski.” The name always tastes of poison from his tongue.

“Oh c’mon Geppie! Do you know how annoying it is to break out of prison? I have an appointment later, I can’t miss it!” ‘Appointment’ is generous. Nothing the masked fools do could be so organised as an appointment.

“Should’ve thought of that when you decided to lead a life of crime.” Gepard said.

“But if I didn’t do all this, how was I supposed to meet you, Captain?” Sampo wiggles his brows. It’s to create an escape route. Their little song and dance is always to create an escape route. It doesn’t matter what drunken confessions were shared two months prior. It’s always just this formula.

“Like any other normal citizen?” Gepard stared incredulously.

“You don’t exactly talk to ‘normal citizens’ though. Think about it Geppie,” Sampo grins. “I’m the one who knows you best on this entire planet.”

“…” Gepard frowns. “My sis—”

“That’s like saying Belobog isn’t cold because the endless vacuum of space exists.” Sampo rolled his eyes. “I can’t compete with Serval, she’s your sister, that doesn’t count, Captain.”

“Are you implying I don’t have friends?”

“Whaaaat??” Sampo elongates his words. “Yeah. Exactly. That is what I’m implying.”

“Hmph, I have plenty.” Gepard huffs. “Pela is my friend.”

“That eighteen year old that is forced to be in your presence because you two work together?” Sampo raises a brow. “Sure, okay, fine, what’s her favourite book?”

“… I never said we were close.” Gepard shakes his head. “You're just trying to distract me.”

“You’re the one still holding me up against a wall. Five more seconds and I’ll suspect you like this kinda thing~” Sampo gets pulled off the wall. “Hey, that didn’t mean stop! I wasn't judging, I was relating! Put me back!”

“Don’t say things you don’t mean. Now move before I make you.”

“Ooo kinky— Ow ow! You're holding the cuffs too tight. I’m not into pain, Gep! You have to ask before trying something new. It’s like the bare bones basic ground rules!”

“…” Gepard sighs. “I think my ears are bleeding.”

“Gasp! Did you just make a joke?” Sampo laughs. “My, my, is the cold exterior finally melting? Go on Geppie, confess your undying feelings!”

“You’re delusional.” The walk is long, of course it is. Sampo knows this city. He ran the farthest he could from those pesky Silvermane posts. “Don’t try to escape this time.”

“Do you really think I’ll listen? Turn a new leaf? Rot in a cage?”

“Well no. But it's worth a shot.” He leads them to the jail cells, locking Sampo up in one swift motion. He brings a chair over and takes a seat right outside the door.

Sampo wiggles his brows. “Just gonna watch me—”

“Enough with the weird comments.”

“Oh, all rightt.” Sampo takes a seat on the floor, leaving the perfectly good chair next to him untouched. “Don't you have Captain stuff to do instead of making sure I don't escape?”

“Sure I do. It just so happens that your skills are something only I can handle. Hence, we're both stuck here.”

There's a clink on the floor as Sampo brings his now unchained arms forward leaning on his palm. “‘Stuck’ is a strong word. The only reason I'm still here is because of how much I lovee your company~ and let's not forget, you choose to stay too, this is volunteer work is it not?”

Gepard doesn't question how swiftly and easily Sampo got out of those handcuffs. Nor does he reply to the obvious provocation. Because if it isn't to just rile him up, what other purpose could it have? It's certainly not the truth.

“Ah don't take away my favourite thing, Geppie!” Sampo complains. “What's the point of me staying if you won't even talk to me?”

“You say that as if you could just slip away if I blink.” Gepard rolls his eyes. “As skilled as you are, you can't get past me that easily. Not when you're already behind bars and I'm actively watching you.” 

“Ah your half disguised compliments. Why thank you Captain! I train very hard.”

“…It wasn't a compliment, Koski.” Gepard huffs.

“But you're giving me positive reinforcement by talking are you not? You gotta work on your whole ‘bad cop’ persona.”

“I'm not trying to be a ‘bad cop’ whatever that means… Besides, we've never actually ‘talked’, Koski.” The stale air seems to thicken.

“What do you mean? We converse almost daily!” Sampo chuckles.

“I know next to nothing about you. I imagine it's the same for you.” Gepard clicks his tongue. “What you said earlier is false. We don't know each other, whenever we meet there's always all these pretences and decorum. We're practically strangers.”

“…” Sampo smiles wider. “Aw, Gep— It almost sounds like you might want to talk to me.”

“… Would it be so bad?”

Sampo's smile falters. He leans closer to the bars of the cell. “What's stopping you?”

“Pretenses, and decorum.” Gepard repeats. The chair squeaks painfully digging back onto the cold concrete. “You're meant to be behind bars, Koski, and I'm supposed to put you there.” Gepard turns. “Try not to escape too soon, I'll go get you some tea.” He leaves.

He never managed to successfully deliver that tea. And by dawn there was no trace of Sampo in the entirety of Jarilo VI.

***

He doesn't have to listen to the grating sound of his teases. Those that brought his blood to a boil and made his breath catch. 

There are less artifacts that ‘mysteriously’ disappear from showcases and museums, so he doesn't have to do all the related paperwork.

His name is said in a normal way by the majority of people. And his legs haven't been sore in ages from all the chases.

He has more free time. Free time he'll spend time on family, maybe read a book, or even take on more workload so the citizens under his protection can rest easy. 

Soon it'll all go back to normal, he won't have that annoying urge to surge down and shut the liar up, he won't remember the instant recognition of hearing those familiar lithe steps around the corner, and the habit of double checking that his windows are shut will fade.

Buzz.

Gepard wouldn't care, in fact he usually doesn’t even bring his phone with him. It's a patrol, he needs to be on alert. One trace of a fragmentum monster, or sign criminal activity missed could put his beloved city at risk. Gepard is one to take his job seriously, he doesn't slack, and now he also doesn't have any distractions, like he did before.

What has changed about these particular shifts is the absence of one man. 

One man, who has made Gepard want to eat raw Geomarrow on several occasions. 

Sampo Koski. The most notorious criminal, some would even say the only consistent criminal in the entirety of Belobog. He is the sole reason Gepard’s success rating is a measly 70% when he always does everything perfectly. Somehow, Sampo Koski is his one weakness. 

Gepard's never lost to a fragmentum monster no matter how strong or how many. Petty criminals are practically a joke to him, all slow and predictable. Even searching for lost items (Not his job, but he's always happy to help.) is a walk in the park. Sampo Koski is the exception. He always has to be the exception. 

But as earlier stated, he's gone. Without a trace even. He hasn't been committing any of his atrocities for the last six months, the streets have been clear of that sleep inducing smoke of his, and everyone's pockets all around were generally fuller. And Gepard hasn't had to unsuccessfully chase someone down alleys for two kilometers only for them to vanish into thin air in the next turn.

Slowly, but surely, Gepard's success rate is bound to rise to 99%, with the 1% as a reminder to that one man who always evaded him. 

With a deep sigh, that Gepard convinces himself is born of relief, he stops by a Silvermane guard post. If the notification is from Serval or Pela he would gladly use his break for them. Besides, who else would it be? Lynx is in the mountains again, she's more likely to call Pela if there's trouble. Gepard’s parents haven't contacted him in years since he started talking to Serval. And the Trailblazer is unfortunately trapped in some land called “Amphoreus” at the moment.

Unknown Number: Hey handsome~

“…” Is the Trailblazer actually not trapped? Is Pela pranking him? No, that doesn’t seem like her. It doesn’t make sense. There’s only one plausible conclusion he can come to: It's a scam bot that somehow managed to get past all the cyber security that Serval had installed. 

Unknown Number: Miss me? 

It typed at a very human pace… With a very bot-like message. No one calls Gepard ‘handsome’, the only people he's heard that compliment from was his family, while they squished his cheeks like he was six years of age. So no he didn't miss this person. 

Unknown Number: I can see that you read my message yk. You must be so so so lonely without me!

He was not lonely, he had his sisters, and his coworkers to talk to. Besides the citizens love him, he’s always surrounded by people when he’s in town, how can someone like that be lonely? But that was not the bot’s problem. He simply clicks his phone shut and continues his break retrieving whatever was in the fridge for the soldiers to eat. He’ll have to ask Serval how to better protect his phone later. He would never fall for such an obvious scam, but he’d prefer to know the notifications on his phone were worth paying attention too.

Buzz

Okay… But what if that one was his sister? What if she was being chased by a fragmentum monster and only had enough battery to send one text? What if Pela just reported a murderer on the loose that must be caught? What if Lynx really would text Gepard first if there was trouble?

Unknown Number: If you tell me to stop, I’ll stop~ Promise! You know I always keep my word.

Gepard almost did as asked, but remembered this is a spam bot. He’s not completely sure how they work, but he knows Serval and Lynx always just ignore them. Maybe they could get information from just one message?

Unknown Number: Oh and if you're curious on how I got this number… Ah who am I kidding, no you're not! 

You're probably worrying your pretty little head about how to interact with some ‘sex-scam bot’ 

Don’t worry Gep! Our tech is advanced enough to not be that pathetic. Your information is safe. You can reply to me~

But I’m also fine with having a one sided conversation I suppose

So they are a spam bot! “Wait, no, wouldn’t it mean the opposite?” Gepard mumbles. Technology has never been Gepard’s strong suit, he just clicks off his phone and carries on his way, occasionally stopping to read another notification. Out of concern for his loved ones of course, not because he found the likely-spam bot’s messages kind of intriguing.

***

“Twelve continuous messages all different and with definite personality and quote ‘pretty good humor’? Since when does Belobog have scam bots that advanced?” Serval rolled her eyes, pulling her welding helmet off. The scrap she was working on sizzles behind her as she grabs Gepard’s phone scrolling through the messages. “Geppie… They know your name, and they’re way of flirting is to reassure you.”

“…So it’s not a bot?”

“Ah, technology, one of your many weaknesses,” Serval hands the phone back over. “You have a secret admirer… Or a stalker. Depends which way you look at it. If it was me I’d block the number and move on.” She dons her welding helmet and goes back to her work, leaving a very tired Gepard standing alone.

“…”

He’ll deal with this later, he needs a shower. The shift wasn’t difficult, just incredibly long, and it didn’t help that he was distracted making him double check a few alleys.

***

8 months ago.

“You know,” he whispered, careful not to rouse the semi unconscious man on his back. “When I beat up that guy, I thought he spiked your drink.” Sampo crawled into the open window at a weird angle. Who knew breaking and entering is much harder when there’s a half asleep unit of a Silvermane Captain on your back? “But you're just stupid drunk aren’t you? Who would’ve known, everyone's beloved Captain is such a lightweight?”

“Mm not drunk.” The inebriated captain struck Sampo’s shoulder. “You’re a liar.”

“Ow ow ow! Were you holding back on me in all those alley chases?” Sampo quickly got Gepard onto his bed, checking his shoulder. “That’s gonna bruise, Qlipoth above.”

“…I’m sorry.” The Captain looks up at him, his face immediately falling. “I didn’t mean to. It's hard to control when I’m wobbly.” He twists around digging through his night stand.

“It’s okay, Geppie. I’ll head out now. Don’t arrest me tomorrow haha~” Sampo turned away but Gepard had caught his arm. “Geppie?”

“Come here,” He clutched the first aid kit in his hold. “Let me fix it.”

Sampo stared, sighing into palm. “You don’t understand the cute aggression I’m feeling right now.” He sucked in a breath. “Look, I appreciate the thought, but it’s a blunt force injury, I just gotta wait it out.” He tried to move his arm away but Gepard had a firm grip.

“Bandage.” He pulled a little.

Sampo is a very weak willed man. It only took one more tug for him to take a seat and peel off his jacket. 

“What are you doing, Koski?” Gepard paused, face flushed.

“…Oh did you want to take it off yourself, Captain? How bold~” Sampo giggled watching the red deepen. “You can’t treat the injury with my jacket still on, can you?”

“Oh, you’re right,” Gepard nods, the red subsiding slowly. “I would’ve said ‘no’ anyway. You're injured.” Before Sampo could question him, Gepard opened the kit efficiently, quickly, and masterfully. “Hold still,” Sampo does just that, holding his breath as the Captain applies a cold strip exactly where it hurts. It’s not a normal bandage, it’s a cooling strip to ease the pain. “Done.” He puts the kit aside and leans closer, pressing his lips over the bandage.

“Geppie…!” Sampo felt his heart get thrown against his ribs. “What are you doing?”

“It's what you're supposed to do. My sister taught me.” Gepard’s hand reaches up to Sampo’s face, cupping it. He squinted. “There’s a few cuts on your face. Did I do that?”

Sampo’s imagination is working overtime as he quickly pulls away, putting as much distance between them as he can. “No no no. It was that asshole from before. I—I can take care of it myself.” Sampo could barely handle the kiss on his shoulder, he might combust if Gepard kissed him on the face.

“I can put anesthetic on them. It’s the Silvermane Guard’s responsibility to help citizens.”

“Well you're in luck, I’m not even a citizen!” Sampo covers his mouth. Where did all his deception expertise go? Why is he suddenly spilling his guts?? A multiple decade long secret gone just like that?! “Ignore that!!”

“Oh all right.” It was that easy?? Gepard tilts his head. “Can you sit back down, Sampo?”

“…Why? I won't let you kiss me.” Sampo cautiously takes a step closer. “Not when you're like this anyway.”

“You’re warm. The air outside is cold.”

Sampo frantically closes the window. “There, now you don’t need me. I’ll use the door. Bye Geppie!” The room might be cold but Sampo is losing all his cool. He might end up in the negatives if he keeps pushing his departure.

“So soon?” Gepard frowned. “I guess it makes sense. You always leave quickly, and I’m always left cold after.”

Sampo can feel his heart up to his throat. “… I’ll stay.” It sounded too much like a promise. Remembering the call for masked fools, specifically Sampo, from Penacony still left in his inbox, Sampo adds: “I’ll stay, only till the heater warms up the room, okay?”

“Thank you, Sampo…” Gepard smiles. 

A rare sight, an even rarer sentiment and the rarest tone of voice. Directed at Sampo of all people? “… No problem?”

“Oh wait.” Gepard stood up too quickly, almost falling if Sampo hadn’t caught him. “I have an assignment. There’s an illegal artifact trade.”

“Still thinking about work when you're like this?” Sampo sits him down again. “What kind of mind control do those guys use on you?”

“It’s my duty.” Gepard glared.

“All right, all right,” Sampo huffed mirthfully. “It’s that guy who offered you the drink right? Just because it’s you, I’ll take care of it!” He neglected to mention the recipient of the artifact was supposed to be Sampo himself.

Gepard pulled himself closer. “You don’t have to.”

“I brought you back home before your assignment was finished, so technically this is my doing. Don’t worry so much Captain.” Gepard is being awfully clingy for someone who was hunting Sampo down just yesterday.

“I am not worried.” Gepard furrowed his brows.

“Who’s the liar now?” Sampo laughed. 

“I am not a liar…” Gepard looked away, clearly embarrassed and clearly a liar.

“That’s what all liars say.” 

“It takes one to know one, Sampo Koski.” Gepard leaned closer.

Sampo pushes him away slightly. “Haha… You are being so touchy feely. Promise not to kill me tomorrow if you remember?”

“That’s the second time you said something like that. Why would I hurt someone I like?”

Sampo freezes. “Don’t use your words so lightly…” It sounds too serious. “You’ll get my hopes up, Geppie~” He adds.

“I mean it. I wouldn’t hurt someone I like. Not on purpose,” he glances at the injured shoulder, frown deepening.

Sampo winces, not from pain, but the words coming out of his mouth. “I meant the second part. You don’t like me, Captain. Evidently it’s the opposite.”

“I’m not supposed to, you’re right. But I do. You’re warm.”

Sampo somehow manages to laugh. “You— Hah! You can’t like someone just because they’re warm, Geppie?”

“When everything else is cold, why wouldn’t someone warm stand out? ‘Sides, you’re actually nice deep down I think.” Gepard makes eye contact.  “And you're pretty.”

Sampo jumps out the window and closes it behind him. 

He didn’t know he had a limit. That was his limit. “Sorry for leaving you cold again…” He pulls at his hair. “Argh! Don’t take his drunken rambles seriously! You’re Sampo Koski! You don’t take anything seriously!!”

The walk back to the bar is shameful, lonely and cold, only interrupted by Sampo’s slight laughter at the ridiculousness of the situation.

Who would’ve thought? Sampo Koski arresting someone? On behalf of the beloved Captain no less?

***

“Who’re you texting? You'd never look at any of our texts like that,” Pela asked, placing some papers on his desk. What exactly did ‘that’ mean? Gepard doesn’t know.

“No one,” it was the truth, he technically wasn’t texting. He was just reading the texts he received. “What’s this?” He picked up the Silvermane guard report.

“A display artifact was stolen from the Goethe hotel. The perpetrator left no signs or evidence, it was as if the wind had picked it up,” Pela made a gesture with her hands. 

“Of course… Why’d I think that he, of all people, would be dealt with that easily?” Gepard sighs into the report. “When was this?”

“Yesterday between the hours of 13:35 and 14:35. The perpetrator somehow managed to disable the security cameras for an hour. There weren't any signs of foul play on the cameras or the security rooms, nor anyone loitering around those areas before or after the incident,” Pela narrows her eyes. “And perhaps most curiously, the alarms that the Goethe Hotel had on both the artifact itself and the security cameras didn’t go off. They only discovered the blank space in the footage when reviewing two hours later when the attendant noticed the missing artifact.”

“Sounds like someone might’ve cut the footage after the crime had already been recorded.”

“But who, Captain?” Pela asked. “As I said previously, no one was near the cameras before or after it happened. And even if someone somehow managed to become invisible, the alarms should have gone off if someone tried to fiddle with the security in any way.” Pela scrunches her face. “Though I do understand that since this did happen and no alarms went off… the perpetrator did find a way to delete footage without setting them off,” she seemed tired. Gepard's guess would be that she's been working on this case alone.

Gepard placed a white board on his desk, bringing over two markers and a chair for Pela. “Okay, do we have the layout?”

After a few hours of marking down possible paths, security camera functions, and employee positions there were only three routes the perpetrator could take.

“That path is too small for Sampo Koski. He’s 182 centimetres tall,” Gepard underlines the vent dimensions. “The perpetrator would have to be ten centimetres shorter at the very least to crawl though the laundry chute."

“But no one has seen him in six months. I don’t think we can't rely on old information. Maybe he has someone helping him now or he might've trained how to dislocate his joints. Besides, even if it would be a new occurrence, it could have been someone else.” Pela flips the page over to the schematics of the second floor. “I’m still thinking they could’ve used this bathroom vent, which I understand is even smaller than the laundry chute, but that way they’d blend in with the regular customers,”

Gepard's throat feels dry, “…The employee room also can’t be ruled out. Sampo could’ve used his disguises. Remember the Brughel Poisson case?” A chill runs up his spine. He doesn’t think he’ll ever manage to forget, the sigh that the memory rips from his lips is heavy. “There’s also a window in there as an easy escape route. The only problem would be that the employees in the room would recognize an unfamiliar face, but Sampo has even tricked me before, I wouldn’t put it past him.”

“I agree, but Captain please, you see how that's near impossible to pull off without a wig strand left behind or something. I really don't think Koski is our perpetrator this time around,” the chair squeaked under Pela as she leaned back, bringing Gepard out of his temporary stupor. “I think we can wrap this up for now. We should be able to get access to the remaining security footage tomorrow. I’ll come back to review those with you.” She stood, tucking her files and bag under her arm snugly. “The Guardian said you can take an early dismissal today. You’ve been picking up a lot more work since Sampo disappeared.”

“It had nothing to do with that criminal,” Gepard huffed. “Since his disappearance I’ve had extra time, that’s all, I took up more shifts to fill that time.”

“You mean to fill up your brain so you can’t think?” Pela raised an unimpressed brow. “I know you can’t help but worry even if it is Sampo Koski that’s gone missing, but worrying won't get you any progress. The case is cold Captain.”

Gepard wants to refute, “Well, it’s fine now anyway. He’s obviously back. This is no time to rest.”

“Captain, it's the Supreme Guardian’s word.”

“Did she say it as an order…?” Gepard frowned.

“You workaholic…” Pela sighed. “No, it was a suggestion. That she highly encouraged.”

“I’ll… Stay here a little longer. I have an assignment I have almost completed.”

“Fine, just… Take care, okay?” Pela smiled, small and worried. “See you tomorrow, Captain.”

The breath that leaves Gepard the second he’s alone is a fragile thing. He's almost worried he'll shatter if he breathes wrong. “Koski…” He mumbled, entirely incoherent. He’s relieved. No he’s not. He’s angry? He slams his fist on the table. Slumping forward, Gepard tries his absolute hardest to not feel any of the weird emotions flooding his mind. 

It’s like he doesn’t even know his body. Ghost possession maybe? Or a brain eating parasite? Fragmentum corruption is a possibility? He pressed his palms to his eyes and sat up straight. It’s fine. He just needs to finish this assignment and then he can go home and shower and train until he can’t think.

Buzz

“Aeons,” Gepard cursed. He can’t handle this right now.

Unknown Number: I wonder how long you’ll just read without responding, Captain, I’m starting to feel lonely.

…Fine, he'll do it.

Gepard: You don’t have to text me, you can find someone else.

Unknown Number: Oh hello there~ Is that your wimpy roundabout way of telling me to stop? Because I will!

I always keep my word <3

Gepard winced at himself, as his face grew warm. He doesn’t know why he’s not just typing the simple four letter word.

Gepard: Who exactly are you?

Unknown Number: Oh~ Still haven’t recognised me? That hurts my feelings Captain!

The use of ‘Captain’ makes him think they’re a Silvermane guard. It makes sense in a way. Most of them have his number in case of emergencies and for long distance communication. He didn’t expect one of them to use it in such an improper way. 

Serval had claimed they were ‘flirting’ which made Gepard even more uncomfortable. He was the Captain, there was only one person his equal in rank, and only one person his superior. Not to mention Bronya and Pela are far too busy to pull a prank like this. He has to end this quickly.

Gepard: This is inappropriate behaviour for a soldier, Silvermane Guards should use this number for work purposes only unless otherwise stated, please don’t continue. Further messages will be reported.

Unknown Number: Oh my dearest Landau, I am not a soldier! Simply a humble law-abiding citizen.

Gepard: There is no lawful way for a citizen to obtain my number.

Unknown Number: You really don’t remember? You gave it to me personally

And here I thought we had something!

“What?”

Gepard: What?

Unknown Number: Ah it’s understandable that you don’t remember little ol’ me, It’s been 8 months since we shared that night together~

“What?” Gepard racks his brain, what happened eight months ago?? “Oh,” he pales. “Oh no,”

There was only one thing that particularly stuck out about that month. It was a stake out. The Silvermane Guards had gotten a tip about an illegal artifact sale taking place at a nearby popular bar. Gepard remembers: He got dressed, he entered the bar, his phone recording a memo, and took the seat next to a man who matched the description.

It was then the man offered him a drink, he stupidly accepted in the panic of trying to act natural and that’s where the memory ends. The next day he somehow woke up with a headache knocking from inside his skull, his voice memo ending abruptly with no information, one of his cooling bandages missing— nowhere to be found in his home— and the criminal behind bars.

Since he’d gotten the assignment done (Somehow?) he hadn’t thought more about the moment in favour of saving himself the personal embarrassment, but if he had met someone that night…

Unknown Number: Cat got your tongue, sweetie?

Gepard: I’m sorry, I think there has been a misunderstanding. I was on an assignment, and I was… Well, inebriated. I was not in the right mind when I conversed with you.

Unknown Number: Oh I know that, it's just you spoke with so much passion I couldn't help but get your number.

“Qlipoth above…” Gepard mumbled.

Gepard: My apologies I’m not looking for a relationship as of now. 

It’s the truth, Gepard wasn’t, but for some reason he still felt guilty.

Unknown Number: Whoever said anything about a relationship?! Thinking about getting in my pants before even knowing me? I didn’t realise the Captain of the Silvermane Guards was so… this.

“???” Gepard put down his phone and headed straight for the washroom, trying his best to avoid anyone on the way. The cold water prickled his skin as it rolled down into his sleeves, crawling on his forearms. The air bit the inside of his windpipe as he settled back into his office as quickly he left.

Gepard: I’m very sorry but I remember my words being “I’m not looking for a relationship right now.” Please don’t put words in my mouth.

Unknown Number: Yes, yes. So serious! I’m only teasing~

What I meant to say was: It doesn’t have to be a relationship at this moment, how about some good ol’ friendship?

Gepard: If we’re going to be friends, I need to at least know your name.

Unknown Number: I told you little Captain, you already know me.

This person is infuriating, Gepard has decided. He’s not going to talk to them anymore. He doesn’t need friends, and he certainly doesn’t need them to be the first.

“...”

Gepard: Can I get a hint?

Unknown Number: Seriously?

Oh all right! 

Fine. 

Just for you <3 

I won't make it easy though >:)

Gepard suddenly regrets asking. The stranger typed, then stopped, then typed some more. If he knew the person well enough to assume such a thing, Gepard would've accused them of doing that on purpose.

Unknown Number: Sorry for the wait, this humble citizen presents:

Size Does Matter

Seven is too much, four is too little

And don’t you forget, my heart is but brittle!

Modesty is overrated, joy is a virtue

Pour over the brim of this realm, who needs this review?!

Oh qlipoth’s beloved, don’t you worry your pretty little head, 

let this fool have some fun! and do not fret,

K’mon little captain, though it hurts that you have forgotten me, 

i promise we’re not done, not that easily!

“They wrote a poem?” Was ‘K’ -mon supposed to be ‘C’mon’? What is that title?? Gepard sank into his chair in pure disbelief, one hand slammed onto the desk while the other tried desperately to keep his eyes inside his sockets. “Wait, a poem?” Words are absolutely not his strong suit. 

A knock rang out and Gepard quickly buried his phone into the depths of his pocket. Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Deep breath in. “Come in.”

Fear in their step, a young soldier tried to hide it behind a confident smile. “Good evening, Captain!” They saluted, standing at attention.

“At ease, Aris. What’s wrong?” His voice was steady and he prayed to Qlipoth that his face was normal by now.

“Captain! Um, Intelligence Officer Pela has ordered us to… Kick you out after an hour.” The soldier stuttered out. “She said, ‘He needs to get home and rest,’.”

“…” Gepard doesn’t need to be told to rest. Gepard has full autonomy over when and where he chooses to go. Gepard also cannot be ‘kicked out’ of his own office. He is, after all, a full grown adult man, and the Silvermane Guard Captain. However, he does know this is not the poor soldier's fault, nor problem. “I understand, give me five minutes.”

He was quick and efficient as always, leaving the office in less than two minutes.

The cold snuck into his hood, forcing him to pull it closer in a futile attempt at preserving the warmth. The lonely, chilly, walk home was only occasionally interrupted by passing heat lamps and buzzes from his phone that he decided to ignore for the time being.

Finally in the comfort of his apartment Gepard peeled off the layers of his extensive armour and outer clothing, neatly putting them away. Even with the precautions his near numb hands remind of just how cold it is, and how he must keep fighting for Belobog. The hot shower is almost scalding, he takes his time, thoroughly scrubbing every inch of his skin to the point of shallow wounds, but he can't help his mind from wandering, and for once it didn’t wander to Sampo.

Just who is this stranger? The poem barely said anything meaningful. What did they mean by less than seven, more than four? Is it their height? Isn’t that just the average person? Or perhaps there was a special number between Gepard and this stranger. Perhaps the number of letters in their name? If it had to be a whole number that would only be five or six. 

Wait, what is he even thinking? The title was ‘Size Does Matter’ There’s obviously no hidden meaning behind any of it! It’s all just to rile him up!

That’s it. He’s going to finish his shower and tell the rude stranger to ‘Stop’. Properly.

He changes into his training equipment and fishes out his phone. Hesitating before opening the messages. 

Unknown Number: A real thinker isn’t it?

Let me know if you need a hint or two. 

Oh and before you accuse me of blasphemy, let me make it known that I do know to capitalize Qlipoth.

Though blasphemy does sound fun…

No, no, I have other means, 

Such as you! Why go through all that trouble when you are so much easier~

Gepards pauses over the key pad reading the backlog. 

Gepard: Are you a masked fool?

It was a concept the Trailblazer had briefly introduced him to. He doesn’t know much, but he knows the bare minimum. The line ‘Joy is a virtue.’ Seems very in line with what he knows of them.

Unknown Number: That’s not my name lol, but you did find something about me.

Too bad you didn’t know this about me back then, so it won’t help you with my identity.

There, there Captain, keep it up!

Gepard: …

What is that title??

Unknown Number: Oh, such a dirty mind you have! 

I hadn’t considered the other meanings— It’s simply a hint!

Gepard: I didn’t say anything like that.

Unknown Number: Oh but you thought it didn’t you!

“It’s a hint?” Gepard scratched his neck. Numbers have magnitude? But the only options are five and six. Does that mean it is the bigger of the two?

The stranger also used the word ‘little’ twice, both times to describe Gepard. “I really am not…” There’s only three people he knew who were taller than him. One was his father, one was Dunn and the other… He hasn’t seen him in awhile, who knows, maybe Gepard is taller than him now.

“Over the brim of this realm…” Were they saying they are otherworldly? Are they not from Belobog? But there was no way it was the Trailblazer, they’re currently stuck on Amphoreus. As much as Gepard liked to think they got close, there are a million other people the Trailblazer would text before pulling a prank on him. Besides, they are certainly not a masked fool.

Gepard: Are you an outworlder? 

Unknown Number: How sharp! As expected for the Captain of the Silvermane guards. Though this is also information you didn’t know about me previously

Isn’t this nice? We’re learning so much about each other

Gepard: Besides your name apparently.

“Modesty is overrated”? You're right, I am learning a lot about you. You like to gloat.

Unknown Number: Hey, hey! I said overrated, not bad. I personally love your modesty, though, there’s other things I prefer about you much much more! But, I have to say, that pesky modesty of yours always makes my knowledge of you oh so limited

Anyways that’s besides the point, when you get stuck and don't think you can solve it just let me know that you give up.

Gepard: When? Not if? 

Unknown Number: Well at the rate you're going, it is a when and not an if.

Gepard: I won’t give up.

Unknown Number: All right little Captain~ Make me proud! It breaks my heart to say, but I do have to go now. 

My coworker thinks it’s hilarious to prank the pilots that are responsible for getting us home. And I’d prefer to not learn how to pilot on the spot. See ya later Geppie~

Gepard: Right, love you.

“???” The world seemed to still. As quickly as he could, he long tapped the message and deleted it. It was the longest three seconds of his life.

Gepard: Bye.

“Qlipoth have mercy.” He sank to the floor.

Gepard wasn’t used to messaging people other than Serval for that long. It was a reflex. It was the worst reflex. All he can do now is pray the stranger didn’t see that.

Later, the punching bag paid the price for Gepard's transgressions.

***

Bestestest Sister ✨♥️💞🎸✨: Just who is this from exactly? 👀

Gepard: Don’t worry about it. Can you figure it out?

Bestestest Sister ✨♥️💞🎸✨: Oooo Geppie~ Is this someone you're interested in?

Gepard: Just tell me what it means.

Bestestest Sister ✨♥️💞🎸✨: That they still like you after you forgot them??

Dude, when did you have this whole soap opera romance story?

I didn’t know my lil bro was such a heartbreaker!

Gepard: You're no help. Bye.

Bestestest Sister ✨♥️💞🎸✨: …

Ahem?

Gepard: What?

Bestestest Sister ✨♥️💞🎸✨: Just ‘bye’? 

Where’s my ‘I love you, you're the bestest big sister in the world’??

“…”

Gepard: Love you.

Bestestest Sister ✨♥️💞🎸✨: There we go! Love you too, hope you can rekindle this lost spark!

Gepard: There is no spark. There is no romance. There is no story.

Bestestest Sister ✨♥️💞🎸✨: And the world isn’t a frozen ice ball. Bye bye lil bro. Ah they grow up so fast.

She was no help. Gepard really can’t figure it out, he’s missing something. Serval was his first and last resort. He knows she could figure it out in an instant but if there was an option to tease Gepard instead, she would always pick that. This was illustrated by when he asked for help setting up his contacts to sync with their corresponding emails, she instantly went and changed the nickname he had for her from “Serval Landau” to the monstrosity it is now, and she did it by changing her email profile which Gepard didn’t know how to access. But at least that time she also set up some software that automatically adds email information to contacts.

Buzz

Gepard checked around, finding no one else in the common room he took a seat.

Unknown Number: It’s been 3 days, you keep leaving me waiting~

Gepard: A hint might make that wait significantly shorter, stranger.

Unknown Number: But where’s the fun in that, Geppie?

Gepard: Where did you hear that nickname?

Only two people have ever called him that, he doesn’t need a third.

Unknown Number: Oh so serious! Gepard to Geppie isn’t that hard to think of, I thought it myself.

Okay, I’ll give you a hint, but only because it’s you, and only because I’m starting to feel a little guilty.

poems are usually boring and Bland, but mine are enduring and Grand!

Geppie my love, you know what else is Grand? the Letters in the ode to you I Planned! (And smth else wink wink)

I’m sure by now you Understand, 

who could’ve known this is how it would Pan!

please, let me know if you need a Hand, this stranger can always Expand!

Gepard sighed, a smile ghosting on his lips. Of course it’s another poem, what else could it be? Hey, at least this time it’s an actual hint. “Capital letters,” He scrolls back up to the original poem. Though he hates to admit it, his heart picks up, and the world around fades away. Curiosity was always a strong emotion, and it wasn't only limited to the genius’. Finally, he reaches the poem, the answers, the truth—

“Again with that look. I’m starting to get curious.” 

Gepard jumps, quickly pocketing his phone and standing to a salute. “Officer Pela.”

“Since when do you salute me?” Pela raised her brow. “I thought we agreed after my first day that as Captain that you didn’t need to do that.”

“Force of habit?” Gepard shook his head, disappointed at himself at the poor excuse. Both of them knew as a fact there was only one person Gepard regularly salutes to. “Was there clearance for an assignment on the Goethe Hotel case?”

“No, not at all, but I'm not sure it'll be needed, I have some different good news.”

“Oh, yes?” Good news was hard to come by, but getting your hopes up was a tragic error. An error Gepard dives into. Finally after six months of sleepless nights, staring at the border of the city, and really uncomfortably hot showers he will find Sampo Koski—

“We’ve narrowed down the artifact the perpetrator will go for next.” Pela handed over some papers detailing the evidence for the claim and specifications. “And we have a capable soldier on the case. So you can rest easy, Captain.”

“…” Gepard glanced up from the papers in his hand. “I’m the only one who has ever caught Koski before. He’s not an easy target.”

“Oh about that.” Pela scratches the back of her hand. “We found the stolen artifact that was resold and the forensics team has determined that it was not Sampo. We think someone is either imitating him or trying to frame him.”

The silence lingered for a second. “Maybe he had someone else sell it. Or he sold it to someone who then sold it to someone else. It’s been six months. Maybe he started actually trying to hide his tracks instead of just running away faster. We can’t rule out—”

“Captain,” Pela interrupts. “With all due respect, I think we ruled out the possibility of it being Sampo Koski yesterday. The employee room couldn't have been used because the door was keycard locked the whole day. Every employee has personally confirmed their individual logs and triple checked that their card hadn't been stolen. Sampo Koski— no matter how much he could’ve changed in the last six months— wouldn’t be able to fit in the laundry chute or the bathroom vent.” The pity laced in Pela’s gaze makes Gepard's stomach churn. “I’m sorry to say this, Captain, but I don’t think Sampo is back just yet.” He knows before long Pela will stop saying the word ‘yet’ too.

“…” Gepard fiddles with the end of his coat. He needs work. Any work. “When is the stakeout for this next heist happening?”

“They’ll start in an hour. The time isn’t fixed and they’ll mostly just be waiting for the perpetrator to make a move.” Pela’s gaze hardens. “You still haven’t rested, Captain. Lady Bronya will genuinely order it soon, don’t make her do that.”

He needs this. “…Last one, Officier Pela. I'll take a vacation after this one. I promise.”

Pela glances at Gepard’s eyes then her phone, then back to Gepard. “Just this once.” She dials a number and turns away out the door. “I'll text you the address when it's confirmed you're switching in.”

Gepards sighs back into the chair. 

Buzz

Unknown Number: Really thought you'd get it immediately Geppie. Have you lost a few brain cells since I last saw you?

Gepard huffs out something bordering mirth. “Yes, stranger. Maybe I have. I'm still texting you for Qlipoth’s sake.”

Gepard: Something came up. I'll have to leave soon. I’ll solve your riddles later today if that’s all right.

Unknown Number: Ah busy time of the year?

Gepard: Not quite. If I'm being honest, it's self-inflicted.

Unknown Number: Oh, so even the renowned Captain isn't immune to himself. What's got you so worried?

Gepard: I'm not sure if I should tell you, but I don't see the harm. It’s not exactly confidential.

Someone I know has been missing for the last six months. He didn’t leave any traces behind nor was there anything suspicious around the month of his disappearance. 

The case is still unsolved, and cold, and most of the team seems to believe that he ‘turned a new leaf’ and is just laying low and starting a new life.

I doubt it.

He left out the theories that Sampo is dead somewhere untracable. It’s not true. 

The stranger for once takes their time with the reply. For a second Gepard even thinks they’ll write another poem.

Unknown Number: Was he so dastardly that you think he can’t be redeemed?

Just one simple sentence might've been Gepard's last guess.

Gepard: Quite the opposite. I know him better than anyone in Belobog. He might be a criminal but he has his own principles he sticks to. I believe he is skilled enough to lay low, yes, but if the reason was to ‘turn a new leaf’ I’d expect him to go around repaying his debts first. He hates owing favours to people.

Once again the stranger is uncharacteristically slow in their response.

Unknown Number: Well what do you think the true reasoning is?

Gepard: I don’t want to jinx it.

I really hope it isn’t the case, but what other reason could there be? It can't have been voluntary…

Another long pause of typing, but the response that follows doesn’t warrant the time taken.

Unknown Number: Why do you care?

Gepard: What do you mean? He was a citizen.

Unknown Number: It doesn't seem like he was a very good one.

Gepard: Maybe he wasn’t, doesn’t matter. Besides, wouldn’t he at least leave a note, or some kind of explanation?

Unknown Number: Maybe you think too highly of him, Geppie.

Buzz

Pelageya Sergeyevna: 23rd Parley St. 13:30. 

Suspect description: below 163 centimetres, medium length blond hair that would reach around their shoulders, and suspected to be left handed.

Chief Milena will meet you there in a brown hoodie and a braided bun. Switch in subtly.

It goes without saying but change into civilian clothes before you head there.

Gepard walks straight into the locker room donning an inconspicuous jacket and beanie.

Gepard: I don't think so.

I have to go.

Talk to you later, stranger.

He almost typed ‘love you’ again but stopped himself just before sending it. He dragged a palm over his face.

Gepard: Bye.

***

Pelageya Sergeyevna: Still nothing?

Gepard glances at his phone, then the artifact, still displayed in the town square, then back at his phone. 

Gepard: Nothing.

Pelageya Sergeyevna: Okay, one more hour and we’ll call the operation off.

Gepard tucks away his phone and once again pretends to read the book in his hands.

It’s a busy place, shops always bustling near the heaters and families walking around hand in hand. It’s not completely unprecedented. Sampo has pulled similar stunts before, robbing the city in broad daylight.

Blond hair, Gepard repeats in his head. Medium length blond hair. The perpetrator had carelessly left behind hair on the artifact. 

But what if Sampo did steal it? No. Gepard has to focus. The artifact is his main objective. His job is not to investigate, it’s to take action. He scans the crowd again. Like he had for the last twelve thirty minute intervals.

One hooded figure, one blond child and a tall man with indigo hair. Sampo? No. Focus. The hooded person looks suspicious and keeps checking their watch. The indigo haired man disappears behind an alley. 

Gepard stands up, walking closer to the center of the square. Better vantage on the hooded figure and now he can see down the alley way too.

There he is, it’s… not Sampo. Gepard quickly turns to where he saw the hooded figure.

Gone. They're gone. The artifact is also gone. The city map filters through his brain and he darts towards the most efficient escape route. No. He makes a turn. 

It’s mainly a burning feeling in his gut telling him to move down this alley. It’s familiar, it’s where he last saw Sampo. But this time, a random thief is here instead.

“You’re faster than I thought.” The voice curses. They’re fast, almost inhumanely so, sure, but not as fast as Sampo. It takes 30 more meters for Gepard to have them in handcuffs.

Gepard doesn’t talk to them. He barely looks at them as he retrieves the artifact from their bag and starts the long journey he had taken six months ago.

“Is this artifact personal to you or something? Why am I getting such a cold shoulder?” The thief finally pipes up.

“No. Sorry, I’m just…” Gepard, sighs, this is a stranger. 

“Just?” The stranger asks. 

“I thought someone else stole it. Not you.” There, that’s sufficient.

“Oh,” the thief stares blankly. “I’m… Sorry?”

“It’s okay,” he replies, walking them into the post. “You will be detained here until a trial can be arranged.” At the end of the row is a cell. One that hasn’t been used in six months. Gepard sighs, he can’t cling to the past any longer. He opens the last cell’s doors and leads the prisoner inside. “I'll be around the corner, just yell if you need anything. I know it gets cold here, I'll be back with a blanket shortly.”

They look around, seemingly surprised by how clean and almost nice it is. They plop down on a chair and shake their head. “I’m fine, thanks.”

Gepard nods rigidly, and walks to the desk, gathering the paperwork and sending Pela the good news.

As soon as he penned the last full stop he slumped forward onto the desk. Six months. It shouldn't be on his mind. It shouldn't be affecting his mood. And it shouldn't distract him at work. 

There's nothing he can do. He's already searched every nook and cranny of Belobog himself. Unless he's been living off wild foxes in the middle of the snowplains there's nowhere else he could be.

His head circles back to his working scenario. He's thought it over before. Sampo is skilled and he doesn't trust easily, who in the world could possibly trick him? Who in the world could possibly hurt him? Who could haul him off a planet?

Unknown Number: How’s work? Got any free time yet?

Gepard: Right, one second.

Unknown Number: You forgot about me? How hurtful~

Gepard huffs, the closest thing to a laugh he can manage right now.

“What was it again? Capitals,” he mumbles, squinting down at the screen. “S-A-M-P…” he pauses, 

‘Oh qlipoth’s beloved, don’t you worry your pretty little head,’

He can almost hear it echo in his mind.

Gepard: It's not funny. Who are you really? Are you stalking me?

Unknown Number: Giving up already? I thought your will was unshakeable~

Gepard: You have to be aware that he's been missing for 6 months and yet you pulled this shameless prank.

I don't know why I've been wasting my time here.

Gepard feels like an idiot. He powers off his phone and for once decides to clock off early. 

It's been ages since he last locked his windows and he lets the air in— the cold frigid air— that makes his skin feel like leather.

Deep breath in. Deep breath out. Deep breath in. Breathe in. Breathe. Out. 

The quiet apartment echoes with the growls of his stomach. He sits with his hunger, he sits with his betrayal and he sits with his broken heart.

He tries to listen to the clock go by, he tries to focus on his breathing, he tries to let the thoughts flow through his mind.

Sampo. Sampo. Sampo.

Gepard stands and walks out his door with just a jacket.

He doesn't need armor for where he's going.

The train station is deserted. Most people are still at work. He boards the train, scans his ticket and rides down to Boulder town.

The people know he's not from the undercity, but they've grown used to his sight over the last six months of frantic searching. He walks into the clinic and Natasha immediately sidles over. “Captain Gepard? What are you doing here?”

“Miss Natasha I know you have strict patient doctor confidentiality, but do you think I could access Sampo’s records?”

She looks like she's about to say no like she had the last two times, but she must see something in his eyes that makes her quietly retrieve the files. “Investigation right?” He knows she doesn't do this even for investigations, she’s doing this out of pity.

“You don't know how much I appreciate this.” Gepard doesn't make copies, he doesn't borrow them, he doesn't even ask to use her office. He sits right there in the waiting room sifting through the various wounds Sampo has accrued over the years.

“Take your time, these files are slated to be disposed of next week anyway.”

“…I know I'm asking for a lot, but do you think I could keep them? For when Sampo comes back?”

Natasha hesitates, “…Of course, Captain. I can cover it in the sign out forms as ‘government personnel’, or I could note it as ‘friend of dece’— missing. If you'd prefer.” People still walk on eggshells when talking about Sampo.

“Personnel would be better… Miss Natasha, you think he's dead.”

“I'm sorry Captain Gepard, it was a force of habit, the forms only have an option for… Yea, but no. Sampo was like a cockroach, I can't picture him not surviving anything.”

“He is, yes.” Gepard shifts his attention back to the papers. He's slowly working back to front. It's filled with wounds and cuts and broken bones, nothing related to his overall health just evidence of his various misdemeanors and criminal way of life. Weirdly enough, it starts at age 23 rather than birth, maybe his parents were weird about doctors. 

Some of the entries note particular crimes with the injury, such as ‘Stabbed in the abdomen, right below the stomach in artifact dealings.’ or ‘Broken tibia gained in a 15 kilometer chase, hopping from roofs.’ Some of them he even vaguely remembers the scars of. 

Gepard makes quick work of it, by the time it's nine P.M. he's made it eight months back. 

But here his now stabilised workspeed gets halted. He reads the line again. And again. And again. ‘Patient presented with a bruise on the back of his shoulder with a military grade cooling patch applied professionally on it. When asked he refused to elaborate. Unusual behaviour, check if repeated on future visits.’ Gepard looked up at Natasha who was diligently tending to patients, when she caught his eye, she walked over. “Something wrong, Captain?” She looks somewhat hopeful, like Gepard might've figured out where Sampo is.

“Eight months ago… Sampo showed up with a military grade cooling patch?”

“Oh I remember that night. He was acting incredibly strange, well, stranger than usual. He loves rambling about his illegal dealings because of patient doctor confidentiality and all, but that night he was really silent and just wanted my help to get it off. When I asked him, he flushed red, so I assumed it was too embarrassing even to share with me.” Natasha pauses. “Do you think it could have to do with his disappearance?”

“No,” Gepard says.

“Oh,” Natasha blinks. “Okay, let me know if you need help…”

Gepard sits there not reading for a minute. After six minutes of failing to focus he returns the files to Natasha and heads back out into the frigid cold. 

Instead of walking to the train station he takes a left, and then another left. Then he heads forward until he's met with a building. It's taller than some and shorter than some, totally innocuous, especially when neighbouring the tallest building in the undercity. He finds the staircase like he's done a dozen times before and starts climbing. Reaching the third floor he stops, feeling the cold air hang next to him. With a deep breath he pushes through the door.

It's Sampo's main hideout. Gepard had found it three months in, but didn't find anything useful in tracking down Sampo. But now, Gepard knew what to look for.

First, he finds a camera, he hadn't thought much about it before since the camera roll was mostly of artifacts, and they stopped when he disappeared, but now he notices. Serval is one of the only mechanics in town and most of the other ones copy her craftsmanship or are from the undercity and have less parts to work with. This camera is different, it's wider and has a layered lens. And has a sticker of ‘Epsilon’ on it. A quick search on the web later he knows; it's otherworldly.

Next he finds a mask. It's peacock-like but also jester-like, and at first glance Gepard assumed it was to infiltrate a masquerade or something of the like, Sampo's hideout isn't deficient in wigs and dresses, but now it's painfully clear. It's the mask of a masked fool.

Finally, he finds a bean bag. It's not relevant to his new discovery. Gepard is exhausted. He can feel his eyelids stick to his eyeballs and bones being pulled down by gravity unable to resist any longer.

Gepard sits down, belatedly realising this is the first time he's seen, heard of, or sat on such a chair, “Sampo Koski, you liar…” he whispers to no one, and drifts off to sleep.

***

He woke up the next morning still in the bean bag with his alarm blaring from his pocket. 

‘5 A.M.’ it said. Gepard groaned and turned it off. He had the worst sleep of his life. Quickly he sent a message to Pela.

Gepard: Would it be all right if I started my break today? A week would be nice.

Pelageya Sergeyevna: Sure.

This is quite sudden, are you okay?

Have you been hacked?

Gepard wanted to chuckle.

Gepard: I have not been hacked, Pela, person who's favorite novel is Tales of the Winterlands. 

I am fine.

Pelageya Sergeyevna: Okay. I'm giving you a month though.

Gepard sighs, sinking back into the bean bag. There's so many messages from that unknown number. So many words. So many apologies.

Gepard doesn't know why he cares. Gepard doesn't know why he's so invested. He had an excuse before he disappeared, Sampo was the best criminal in the underground, and Gepard was the Captain, it made sense. It also made sense during his disappearance, every single citizen is his to protect. Even now it might make sense, his number one criminal is alive, his missing citizen is trackable, but Gepard can't lie to himself, if Sampo is safe and ‘sound’ still pulling his little stunts, who is he to care? Yet he does care, he cares a lot.

Gepard: Are you all right, Koski? Do you need help?

He ignores the backlog of texts. He also renames the number.

Sampo Koski: Oh Captain! I thought you would never speak to me once more!

Gepard interrupts the little dots telling him that Sampo is still typing.

Gepard: Do you need assistance?

Sampo Koski: Ah you're texting me as Captain of the Silverman's Guards and not Geppie then? Okay I'll humor you. No I don't need help, Gep, but sayy, if a handsome Captain that I need to apologise to comes to pick me up, he might get a little present~

Gepard: I won't request for guards, text 112 for help if you change your mind. Second, where were you the last 6 months?

Sampo Koski: Wouldn't this be better in person? I have so many stories to tell you!

Gepard: No.

Sampo Koski: Are you mad at me Geppie?

Gepard: Of course. Where were you the last 6 months?

Sampo Koski: Look, Gep, I really thought you'd recognize my writing style, but I underestimated the wear of time. I'm sorry, I didn't mean for these puzzles to take so much of your day

Gepard: That's not why I'm upset. Where were you the last 6 months?

Sampo Koski: Why are you mad then?

Gepard types out a long paragraph, takes one glance at it, then deletes it all. He tastes the grossness of unbrushed teeth on his tongue and lips. He feels the cold of the morning air creeping through the window edges. He hears the silence of the street and the uneasy sense of solitude that comes with it. No one but Silvermane Guards are awake at this time. No one but the Silvermane Guards and Sampo Koski. He starts typing again, sending as he goes. He's not going to delete a paragraph again.

Gepard: Koski, are you really this dense or is it an act you put up? 

Don't you understand? 

You've been gone for 6 months. 6 entire months. For half a year I've searched and searched and talked and searched. 6 months I've been told you're dead or that you turned a new leaf and this new life you want doesn't include me in it. 

For 6 months I've pretended that it's fine, that I only care because you're a citizen. 6 months, I've grieved in silence, either awaiting your return, or dreading news of your demise.

They pitied me, they treated me like some heartbroken widower. I couldn't hide the truth from them like I hid it from myself.

Sampo Koski, you are a cruel man. You don't understand what it's like to have you in my life then have you ripped away. 

I missed you. I missed you every day. And I didn't know why it hurt so much.

Tell me Koski, where in Qlipoth’s name were you? And are you hurt? And do you have any idea how worried you made everyone?

Sampo didn't say anything for a bit, then he typed, then he stopped, then he typed again.

Sampo Koski: I was in Penacony. I was there for a mission as a Masked Fool. Unlike Belobog, it was against my will to stay for so long. I'm sorry, I'm not hurt, I'm on the way home now.

Gepard: The last question, answer it.

Sampo Koski: Haha… How bout this Geppie, we can talk about this when I get back? It shouldn’t take long.

Gepard: Why?

Sampo Koski: It'll come off wrong over text

Gepard: I'll call you.

Sampo Koski: what?

Gepard: Pick up.

Before Sampo can finish typing, Gepard dials the number.

“Koski?” he says when the line picks up.

“Um, hi Geppie,” his voice is the same as it was six months ago, the only difference is the uneasiness present. In the background his ever familiar barely audible footsteps echo.

Gepard inhales sharply, his breath shakes, and he just prays that it isn't audible over the call. The second he hears him he forgets why he called. “…It is you, you’re alive…” Of course he knew, but it didn't sink in until he heard Sampo Koski’s voice. He's alive, he's somewhere in the universe, living breathing, probably laughing knowing him. Gepard sighs, it's happy, it's frustrated, it's relieved. “Sampo Koski,” he whispers. “Please, tell me next time…” it comes out wounded.

“I’m sorry, Geppie,” Sampo chuckles awkwardly. “I just, didn't think you'd care this much—”

Gepard doesn't know if he wants to laugh or cry, so he does a bit of both. “You’re an idiot, Koski.”

“Agreed!” Sampo laughs, still nervous. Gepard worries for a second that they might not go back to normal. “I’ll come back to you, Gepard, don't worry your pretty little head.”

“My head is neither pretty nor little. I might even be taller than you now.” He doesn't know why he’s responding to his weird comments, but he doesn't care, what he needs is to hear his voice. Maybe he doesn’t want to go back to normal.

“We’re way past the bone fusion age, Gep, I think I'll forever hold those two centimeters over you.” 

“It’s probably those shoes anyway.”

“Huh? You have an inch added by your boots too?”

“Allegedly.”

Sampo breathes hard, and his footsteps quicken, but he laughs anyway, not nervous, full and real, “When did you get funny, Geppie~”

“In the six months I thought you were dead, Koski.”

“… Uh—”

“My sisters and Pela gave me an intervention a month into my promotion as Captain, apparently all my men thought they would die if they breathed wrong in my direction. You didn't witness it since I was trying to capture you.”

Sampo giggles, but then stops, “I am sorry about all of it. Really. I'll make it up to you.”

“Make it up to me? How?” Gepard rolls his eyes. He fiddles with the seam of the bean bag.

“You’ll just have to see!”

“More secrets, really?” Gepard deadpanned.

“Haha… Last one? I promise Gep! No more after I get home! I'll tell you everything! I'll tell you a secret now in fact!” Gepard can hear scrambling on the other line, but Sampo doesn't address it. “Do you remember eight months ago when you got piss drunk—”

“Yes, I know.” Gepard interrupts, “I hurt you didn't I? I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be protecting citizens not—”

“Nope!” Sampo says quickly. “Well not ‘no’ to the hurt part, I did get a lil’ bruised, but don’t worry about it Gep! I get worse injuries everyday— Anyway, the point is! Eight months ago I witnessed the cutest, clingiest, caring side of you,” Sampo coos.

“Okay, okay, stop,” Gepard puts his palm to his face, suddenly feeling very warm in this winter wonderland. “I don’t need to know.”

“You sure? I was getting to the good part~”

“Yes.” The running picks up its pace, and he can hear Sampo breathing quicker. “Are you okay? What’s happening?”

“Ah, this is so incriminating!” There's a clang and a yelp, like Sampo just narrowly dodged something, and distant yelling. “I know it sounds like I’m getting chased by other Captains, and I am getting chased by the shitty Security Guards and some Cop-Bastards, but I swear in Qlipoth’s and Aha’s name, Gep! I only want you to chase me! This, this, was an accident, how was I supposed to know that those shiny bracelets were not for the taking??”

“Koski…” Gepard sighs, weirdly he does feel a little left out, but it’s nothing serious. “It’s okay, when you get back, I can chase you for fifteen kilometers till you break your tibia again.”

“You went through my medical records?!” Sampo gasps, then abruptly comes to a stop with a thud. He whisper-shouts the rest of his outrage, “That’s— like— super illegal, Gep!”

“Are you hiding right now?” Gepard’s eyes widen. “Shut up, Sampo!”

“Ooo, kinky~ You'll have to make me, Captain,” there’s loud footsteps and Sampo stops breathing. A minute goes by and Gepard holds his breath too. “Hah, hear that Captain? You took my breath away. Keep this up and I’ll have to take you to dinner~”

Gepard sighs, “You’re unbelievable, Koski—”

“No, no! Say ‘Sampo’ again! It sounds oh so nice in your voice, Captain.” Maybe Gepard is imagining it, but Sampo has gotten more flirty, or maybe he just became unused to it. He can’t exactly ignore it when he doesn’t have goals in mind other than to talk to Sampo.

“When you say it like that, I don’t want to do it, Sampo.”

“You did it anyway. Aw you care about me~”

“Of course,” there's not an ounce of doubt in his voice.

“Hahaha…” The line goes silent. “Um, don’t you have training or something around this time?”

“I’m on break. I can train later.”

“What?? A break? Did you get hacked? Who am I talking to right now?”

“Why does everyone say that? I’ve not been hacked. I’m in control of all my actions—” he thinks about where he is right now, and everything he did yesterday, “— most of my actions.”

“What does that mean?” He can hear the smile on Sampo’s face.

“I’m not very in control when it comes to you, Sampo.”

The line goes silent again aside from the steady footsteps. “I’m regretting asking you to call me ‘Sampo’. It might be too much to handle,” if Gepard’s not wrong, Sampo sounds like he might be embarrassed, Gepard didn’t know he was capable of such an emotion. Just the mental image of blush on Sampo makes him smile.

“Live with your mistakes, Sampo,” he says. 

Sampo laughs, even though Gepard’s delivery is a bit flat. Gepard smiles, he always knew Sampo was a kind soul. “Wait one sec, Geppie,” his footsteps stop, and his mic gets muffled. Gepard knows he shouldn’t, but he strains his ears to hear. “Hey, Olivia right?” He hears a tiny childlike voice answer back but can’t quite make out the words. “You know how to sell things?” There's silence. “Okay, take these, it’s yours now. That shop right there is run by meanies and they don’t spend money on case locks, if you need it, take it. Don’t take too many at a time though, the under paid employees might actually start caring. Oh and if you get caught, tell them it was Sampo Koski who forced you to. Don’t be afraid to put up the innocent act again like you did with me, speaking of, could I have that back? You can keep the money, I just need the boring ID stuff… Great! Pleasure doing business with you ma'am."

“…” Gepard stops listening, as Sampo starts talking more criminal advice. It might be a little strange, but in the end it’s out of a sort of kindness isn’t it? 

Gepard thankfully can’t relate to resorting to crime to have his basic needs met, but he does understand, when Cocolia rose to power she had mandated that city guards should turn a blind eye to people in need committing crime, and to just pay off any damages out of the limited city fund. After building food banks and warm places for citizens, the guards didn’t even have to worry about people committing crime out of neccesity. Unfortunately, they didn’t know about the undercity then, and a lot of them had to relearn what they were taught.

Once Gepard hears the ending to the conversation, he says, “You’re kind, Sampo.”

Sampo just laughs it off and denies it. Typical. “When do you have to go, Gep?”

“I can stay for a week. That’s if you don’t mind hearing cooking and training noises occasionally.”

Sampo cackles, “I don't know how I’m going to grow used to funny Geppie.” Gepard isn’t sure if he was fully joking. “Unfortunetly, my ship leaves at noon for you, and I’m sure you don’t want to talk to my travel partner, she’s the worst, don’t tell her I said that.”

“All right, now, tell me about this Penacony. Where is it?”

“You heard of the Asdana system before?”

***

They talked for a total of six hours. 

After, Gepard washed up the best he could without his own toothbrush and supplies, stole and ate a six month old granola bar, and trudged towards the train station, earning some weird looks on the way, weirder than usual, it’s only when he runs into Oleg that he gets the answers he wanted. 

“Captain, hey! You look like you're glowing? Did you just get proposed to?” Oleg smiles widely.

“Oh, um, no. Just had a good day I suppose.”

“The day has barely started, son, I’m happy for you though. Say hi to Bronya for me, will you? She's doing a great job.” He walks away.

Gepard feels weird, but like a good weird, a great weird.

In the sunlight of Belobog he manages to run into Pela while she’s travelling from the museum to headquarters. “Oh, Captain.”

“Hello, Pela,” Gepard greets, it’s only after the words leave his mouth that he notices the big grin on his face. 

“Six hours on break and you're already this energetic?” She smiles warmly, she looks relieved, there’s no hint of pity like there was for the last six months. “See, I’m always right, they don’t call me the intelligence officer for nothing.”

“I’ll never doubt you again,” Gepard says.

“Say, could this be caused by the mystery person on your phone you keep smiling at?” She eyes him down. Pela must’ve put together the messy hair, the big smile, and the wrinkled day old clothes. 

Unfortunately for him, Gepard can’t lie when he himself knows the truth. “…Yes.”

“Wait what? I was joking— What??” Pela almost drops her things, but soon she has a devilish grin on her face.

“Oh no,”

“Who are they?”

“Mm, I don’t want to tell you.”

“Captain Gepard Landau.”

“Don’t interrogate me.”

Pela sighs dramatically, “Fine, but I better be invited to the wedding.”

“As far as you know I've only known them for five days??”

“Serval told me they were a past lover,”

“Why’re you two investigating this?”

“Because we care, Gepard,” Pela smiles, “I have to get back to business now. Good work on the Goethe hotel heist, the perpetrator has confessed and we have clear motives now.”

“Glad I could be of help,” Gepard smiles back.

The look that Pela gives him is questioning, but she doesn't actually ask anything. She waves and walks away.

When he finally makes it to his apartment he finds a familiar face sitting on the dining table speaking on the phone. Once she makes eye contact with him she looks relieved yet angry. She hangs up on the other person.

“Sis, what's wrong?”

“You didn't come home last night, I was under the impression we were going to do our weekly board game night with Lynxie.” She pushes him a plate of cold eggs and toast.

“Oh, I'm sorry,” how could this have possibly slipped his mind? “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine, just pick up your phone when you go on escapades, or at least text me. I was worried, you know.” He had turned off his notifications after finding out the unknown number was ‘pretending to be Sampo’.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay Geppie,” Serval rolls her eyes. “I’m glad you're going out, so is Lynxie. Speaking of, who was it?~”

“Uh,” he hates how red his face feels. “It wasn't like that.”

Serval looks him up and down, a brow raised, “Well, you didn't sleep here.”

“I didn't have the energy to get on the train again,”

“They live far huh? Is that why you're always texting them?” Serval wiggles her eyebrows.

“Not always, it's only been five days…” It’s hard to eat under these conditions.

“Ah, you have it bad bad, you're counting down the days!”

“Well, it's just, it's not like that, he doesn't like me.”

“From the poem he wrote I'd say he likes you quite a bit. I don't know about you, but writing a sappy poem for someone is another level of friendship to me.”

“Sis,” Gepard puts his hands to his face.

“I can't believe you'd skip training for him… Wait, don't tell me you went on break for him too?”

“Well, kind of,” seeing Serval’s elated face, he motions to his room. “I’m going to get some sleep, bye sis.”

From the other room he hears her teasing voice, “He kept you up late??” He hates how it's all true.

Gepard lies down, and he falls asleep instantly, it's nice and dreamless and when he wakes up an hour later to an alarm, he feels refreshed, he feels lighter than he has in the last six months. He trains for the day and showers, texting Sampo through it all.

Days go by and he actually notices, he feels like he's actually living instead of just going through the motions. 

He didn't realise how much of an impact the absence of Sampo had.

Gepard: Thank you, Sampo, for being alive.

Sampo: Haha, no problem? I'm planning to live for a long time anyway Gep

Gepard: Still, I'm glad you're in my life again.

Sampo: You've gotten so much more direct, Geppie~

Sampo types, but then it stops abruptly, a minute goes by and he types again.

Sampo: I have something to tell you Geppie, you're directness has inspired me

I can't stop thinking about you…

It's driving me mad, Geppie ♥️

Gepard pauses, quickly turning off the stove and sitting down, his broccoli, chicken and rice abandoned in the kitchen.

Gepard: You're not joking are you? Why would you do this over text? Call me.

Sampo types then stops again, suddenly, Gepard’s phone is ringing. He picks up to hear running and heavy breathing. “Geppie! Forget every single message you just read! Sparkle stole my phone!”

“Oh, I see,” Gepard feels like he's about to explode.

“What did she say? She deleted them on my end.”

“You told me to forget, I forgot.” It's a lie, but Gepard really can't tell the truth right now.

“Hah, now I'm curious, Geppie~ But fine, if you wish not to speak of it, I shan't.” Sampo giggles and Gepard's heart lurches. He can't do this much longer.

***

He somehow finds himself going to the undercity again, and taking a left and another left to the unremarkable building. He trudges up the rusty steps through the abandoned looking door to the well maintained interior. He sits on the bean bag and thinks about it all. Sampo. Sampo. Sampo. He thinks it like a prayer.

The six months haven't been washed away by the last two weeks. Those six months Geppie had tried everything, and he'd tried it 3 times each. He searched Belobog, he searched Boulder town, he searched the outskirts of both the cities until he'd met all the walls of the undercity and snowy depths of Jarilo VI.

The six months he'd asked everyone who'd known Sampo and had to comfort some people on the way. Except when it came to asking Seele, she ended up comforting him instead. The people didn't know where Sampo was, and soon accepted his death. There were theories from the people he talked to: maybe he died in the snow plains while stealing artifacts and had injured his leg. Maybe he'd been swiftly killed off by one of his many patrons he'd scammed. Maybe, his loneliness got to him…

It was all a bunch of ‘maybe’s, so many damn ‘maybe’s. Gepard had started to hate that word at some point, but around the three month point when Sampo had been removed from the priority case list, the word had transformed into his only hope. Maybe, Sampo had gotten a bad injury and was recuperating by himself. Maybe, Sampo had gotten his heart broken and decided to live in the depths of the snow plains for a while. Maybe, Sampo wanted something different, and was living life always in disguise.

Gepard just hopes it can all be okay now that every single ‘maybe’ is gone, well, almost every single ‘maybe’.

Creeaak. Gepard startles, he turns to see who opened the door. He doesn't even register the wind blowing past his face as he runs up to Sampo to wrap him up in his arms.

“Woah, how'd you find this place?” Sampo's laughter sounds like the only sound in the world as Sampo hugs him back. It goes on too long and Sampo giggles. “I missed you too, Gep,” he sounds sincere, an increasingly common phenomenon.

“Jerk,” Gepard curses, but he doesn't let go until Sampo starts walking whilst embracing him. He hadn't realised before but he'd started crying. Embarrassing. “Do you need help unpacking?” He wipes his tears away.

“Oh this suitcase? It's empty. It used to be full of bombs.” Gepard vaguely remembers Sampo mentioning some ‘bomb’ collab with Sparkle, he didn't think it was literal. “Thank you though,” sincerity is weird on him.

“Was the trip okay?”

“Well, as great as it can be when Sparkle is pranking you every five seconds. I was mostly just looking forward to coming home. Having you here is a nice surprise.”

“I found it a while back,” actually speaking to him in person comes more naturally than he’d thought, Gepard is grateful. “I was looking all over the place so at some point I checked out all the abandoned buildings.”

“That’s sweet Geppie, sorry for wasting so much of your time…” Sincerity is awful on him when he decides to apologise.

“Sampo,” Gepard fiddles with his hands. “Do you have time right now? I need to tell you something.”

“Yea, what's worrying you?” Sampo puts aside the things in his hands to stand in front of Gepard.

Gepard breathes deeply, he can't go another day without making it known. Not only have the lies consumed him, but the eternal ‘maybe’ of it all. He doesn't want to be chained down by that damn word. Not when Sampo's right here, not when his questions have been answered, and not after those six long months of ‘what if's. “Sampo,” Gepard reaches out and holds Sampo's hands, to which the other flinches, staring at Gepard's face and then their hands, then back at Gepard again. “I like you, Sampo.”

“Oh, um,” Sampo's eyes are as wide as saucers, but there's something in them that has been buried deep for so long, finally surfacing. “I, I,” Sampo, instead of finishing his sentence, just leans in.

Gepard blinks but soon melts into him. For someone like Sampo who is calculated and rough, his kisses are the opposite. It's sweet, it's passionate, and it's uncoordinated, it's everything they are together. All the emotions trapped in him swirl up in his chest and he leans deeper into Sampo and the latter reciprocates every movement. It's over, the six months are over. Today they start on day one. They start from a new beginning. The past behind them that will always exist that will haunt for a long time to come but still live in the background.

“I love you, I missed you so so much Geppie,” Sampo breathes, then seems to realise what he said as his cheeks stain pink. “You—You don't have to say it back—”

“I love you too,” Gepard laughs, a sound he had almost forgotten he could make unintentionally. “I was… Trying not to scare you off completely if you didn't like me back.”

“Geppie, how in the world does anything I do read as platonic?”

“I don't know, maybe you're like that with all the Captain's, Security Guards, and Cops of the world.”

“First of all, how dare you imply that my type is all Captain's, Security Guards and Pigs, I simply like one specific kind, cute, Captain, second of all, are you jealous? Are you still jealous from a week ago?” Sampo looks utterly elated.

“…No.” Gepard looks away but Sampo pulls him into a kiss again, a quick one this time. When he pulls back he has the biggest grin on his face, it's mischievous. “Oh no,” Gepard knows that grin.

“Catch me if you can, Captain~” Sampo sprints off, Gepard's wallet in hand.

Their game of cat and mouse begins. On the way the citizens of Boulder town look on in dismay and confusion. They ask each other just to make sure they haven't been transported back six months.

Gepard and Sampo run into a number of people on the way, namely, Seele, who keeps up with them.

“What the actual fuck,” she says.

“He stole my wallet.” Gepard answers.

“No, it’s— never mind. You,” Seele speeds up to run next to Sampo. “You are alive, and an absolute asshole, you know that?”

“Yes,” Sampo smiles.

“…Are you okay? Do I need to beat someone up?” She asks, scowling.

“Yes, I'm okay, and nope, I'm the one to blame. You can beat me up the day after tomorrow though, five P.M. work for you?”

“Why not tomorrow?”

“Oh, well, you see, Geppie here finally confessed his undying feeling to me!” Sampo turns his head over his shoulder. “Are we boyfriends now, love?” Gepard nods. “That’s my boyfriend,” he dons a shit-eating grin. “I need to spend the entire day with him today and tomorrow or I'll combust with all my pent up lust.”

“Makes sense.” Seele nods sagely. “Don’t go too hard, I still need a worthy opponent who can still walk into the arena. Oh and you better explain yourself at lunch beforehand. I’ll leave you to it, loverboy,” Seele runs off into the distance.

“What?” Gepard asks, face red.

“Oh, don't worry little Captain, if you don't want to have sex I'll lead a life of abstinence."

“Not what I said,” Gepard blushes deeper. “Can we not yell this conversation in a public alley?”

“Aw finee.” They run past a crowd of scandalized elderly and one grandpa, named Tobias, who cheered them on. “Thanks Tobias! Appreciate it!” 

Tobias flips Sampo off, “Go get em’ son. Also you're an asshole!” He yells.

“I know! Sorry! I'll visit you in four days! Promise!” Sampo turns the corner.

“Why not three days?” Gepard asks in Tobias’ stead.

“Well after Seele pummels me, I need someone to look after me while I recuperate and obviously then I'd need to spend a whole day with you again to make up for all your worries, love and affection.”

“If that's how it works, you owe me six months.” Gepard rolls his eyes.

“Oh no, what a nightmare!” Sampo says with a heavy layer of sarcasm. “How could you do that to me, Geppie? I thought you loved me??”

“I do, I can pardon your punishment I suppose.”

“No wait—” Sampo falters and Gepard uses this to finally catch him by the waist and push him against the wall, reclaiming his wallet. “Ah, no fair Captain!”

“What’s not fair?” Gepard reaches for his handcuffs but remembers he's on break and he's actually not chasing Sampo to capture him.

“You got your wallet back, but I didn't get back what you stole from me~”

“And that would be?” Sampo shifts in his hold so that Gepard is pinning him by his hands, with Sampo's back to the wall, less efficient in holding someone down, but that's not the goal here.

“My heart~” Sampo wiggles his brows lamely.

“You haven't given mine back either,” Gepard replies. “It’s only fair.”

Sampo stares, and sputters. He really can't take what he dishes out. “Just,” he tries leaning forward but can't, "Kiss me, Gep, I can't deal with you being flirty.”

“You’ll have to deal with it, Sampo Koski, you're my boyfriend now.” His name tastes of honey when Gepard kisses him as requested. The second he stops holding Sampo down, Sampo flips them around. “Ah— Sampo?” He’s now the one against a wall.

“So this is how you felt? It’s quite nice,” Sampo grins.

“Sampo,” Gepard rolls his eyes. “Mid-kiss? How rude.”

“Okay,” Sampo lets him go, but then throws his arms around his neck. “Care to pick up where we left off then, love?” He asks, his eyes half lidded.

Gepard blushes, but he remembers where he is and holds himself back, “I think we should go back to your place first. Tobias is just a block down, remember?”

“Ugh, fine.” Sampo releases him in favour of holding his hand. It makes Gepard feel warm. “Do you know him, Gep?”

“One of the few benefits of your absence: I’ve met all your friends. You tried to woo his granddaughter and he beat you up when you were 23 and he was 80.”

“He was a buff 80 year old! And I was weak and feeble! Oh and it was totally deserved by the way, I said his hat was uncool, when it totally was cool. I came back the next day to learn his uppercut.”

“I know,” Gepard laughs, “Speaking of family beating up love interests… You might want to prepare to fight Serval in five days too. I’ve forgiven you, but she might be less biased.”

“Oh shit. Geppie I’m so dead.”

***

“So, um,” Gepard mumbles. He’s never said the whole thing out loud before, now he suddenly felt very exposed.

“I uh, brought you a present?” Sampo presents a box with a cartoon like bow on it.

“Put the box down, Koski.” Serval glares.

“Yes, Ma'am.” Sampo places it on the table with very careful movements. He’s trapped in a room with the most terrifying Landau’s. Safe to say he’s a bit intimidated by Serval and her piercing eyes that seem to know all his sins.

Gepard tries to intervene. “Sis, I know what he's done is bad—”

“He didn't pay the price.” Serval squinted at him, she may be a whole head shorter, but Sampo felt smaller than a measly fly under her gaze. “Sampo Koski, Geppie may have forgiven you, but you didn't see what I saw.”

Sampo squirms slightly.

“You practically killed the love of his life for six months, and then you played some mind game with my little brother over text! Do you know how he suffered, Koski?”

“Sis—”

“I'm very sorry. I hadn't realised the extent of the impact of my sudden leave on Gepard. I'm sure you can see where I might've caught the hint that he hates me right? Haha… The texts were supposed to be like the games we always play— a simple prank of ‘I have your number and you don't know how’ and then he'd go ‘Koski, stop texting me’ and then I'd stop. 

“I didn’t know it would go on so long, that's why I was trying to push more hints onto him.” Sampo sighs, “I should've stopped when he started talking about my disappearance to me. It was weird from my point of view but I should've gotten over it and seen what he was actually saying. I am really sorry, Gepard,” for this part he looked away from Serval to Gepard, and Gepard swears his eyes were about to cry. “I never meant to hurt you.”

“It's okay, Sampo,” he reaches out to hold his hand but then remembers Serval is there. “Sis, in his defence I didn’t fully realise how much I liked him until after he was gone. He also didn't know exactly when he was coming back—” Gepards words get interrupted by the door creaking open.

“Sorry I'm late— Sampo?!” Pela quickly closes the door and hurls one of her little robots at the window so it can guard it. She clutches another robot in her hands ready to throw.

“Woah! My statute of limitations are up, officer!” Sampo holds up his hands in surrender and Gepard moves in front of him to shield him.

“Pela it's okay, he won't escape.”

“He wouldn't dare,” Serval adds, glaring more knives at him. “Legally, Sampo, I have to keep hating you for at least a week more. It's the sibling code.”

“Okay, okay, everyone calm down.” Sampo says, but it's very directed at Pela and her killer robots. He places a hand on Gepard's shoulder to indicate that it's okay and to stand down.

“Wait,” Pela looks between the casual touch and the soft smiles on both their faces. “That's the mystery text ex?! Sampo?? Oh I totally should've seen this coming.” She dejectedly puts her robots away.

“Ex?!” Sampo's face falls and he gives Gepard a wounded look. “When did you break up with me??”

“You should break up with him,” Serval huffs.

“You're already together? Serval, why didn't you say that part over text?” Pela looks very confused, a rare expression on her. “You just said ‘Geppies mystery text person’!”

“Sampo, it was a misunderstanding, Serval thought your poem was implying that you were some lost spark—”

“Poem?” Pela asked in a half whisper, but in the close quarters of the room everyone heard.

“Sampo wrote a cutesy poem to help my idiot brother find his identity. Ugh the key was so simple, if only I looked at it again when I had free time, then this wouldn't have happened,” with the ‘this’ she motions at Gepard and Sampo.

Gepard flushes. “The key wasn’t that simple.”

“It really was, Geppie,” Sampo pats his shoulder. “It’s okay, your smarts lay elsewhere.”

“Yea, in Sampo-ology it seems,” Serval rolls her eyes. “You figured out his identity through seeing his fucking medical records from eight months ago??” It appears that Serval is still stuck in the other part of the story. “That makes no sense. A missing bandage? How? The poem was middle school material, and you notice a damn bandage—” Serval marches over to Pela to show the poem to her. “See?”

“Oh, it’s the capitalizations.” Pela mutters.

“Yea, I even pointed out that I know to capitilize ‘Qlipoth’ in the next message,” Sampo adds.

“Hindsight is twenty-twenty,” Gepard frowns.

“There, there, Geppie, you figured out the bandage thing from your killer stalking skills!” Sampo gives him a thumbs up.

“Says you. I still don’t know how you got my number, Sampo.”

“It was completely lawful, don’t look at me like that! I wasn’t lying when I said you're awfully cute and cuddly when drunk. You gave me your number willingly! I tried to refuse, actually! It’s just that you’re also very convincing.”

Serval nods along, “You are very cute and cuddly when drunk, Geppie.” She waves Sampo down and whispers to him. “He convinced me to buy him twenty flower seeds once. He ended up planting them all that very night.”

“Really? Of course he’s productive even while drunk,” Sampo smiles.

“He went around finding lost items for citizens the last time he decided to drink at a Silvermane banquet,” Pela pipes up.

“Okay, you guys do realise I’m standing right here?” His face might genuinely get mistaken for a tomato, he covers it with his palm.

“Oh, you guys should’ve seen him on his nineteenth birthday, he was crying because he’d stepped on a flower,” Serval continued.

Pela went on to share another story about some cat and tree and something about the cat's owner being more worried about Gepard near the end. Gepard sighs, At least they’re getting along with Sampo.

The rest of the day goes well; Serval forgets about her arbitrary week long dislike of Sampo, Pela gets filled in on all the drama she missed, Sampo gets to share embarrassing stories about Gepard, and Gepard gets to suffer the wrath of three people who love him and love to tease him.

After those six long months… It was simple now, all Gepard had to do was love, and he’d been doing that without knowing for years.

Buzz

Sampo Koski: Hiya Gep! So um, the whole masked fool thing, I gotta go to Planarcardia in like two months…

I’ll come over in 15, that cool with you?

Gepard: Bring me scorpion grasses seeds if you wish to live.

My shift ends in 30 minutes, take your time Sampo.

♥️

The end.