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Moonlight illuminated muscle as Lucy watched with heavy eyes. Scars littered Lighter's back like a splash of paint, each looking more painful than the last. She continued to watch as he made his way to the bathroom, turning the light on to flood the room with painful brightness. Lucy flinched at the sudden contact.
“Sorry, Darlin’.”
She waved him off and opened her eyes to allow them to adjust. When she could see properly again Lucy found herself eyeing the bare body of her lover. How did it start tonight? They came back from a job and no one else was around. What else were they supposed to do? Actually…
Lucy turned her head to where her phone sat. It was practically across the room. She'd need to get out of bed, and the room was so cold. Instead she opted to use Lighter's. He had left it on the nightstand just before, well, you know. She reached over for it as she heard the water from the sink. She opened the messages and eyed the contact names. Lighter had few people he spoke to on Knock-Knock so it didn't take long for her to find the Overlord's handle.
Lucy sent a message asking for an update on the job she was on with Burnice and Piper. Something about protecting a convoy. It was a good job with reasonable pay, but it would also get them in good with a new company looking to do business in the Outer Ring. Another step towards Caesar being Overlord and Lucy securing the leader position for the Sons of Calydon. Someone needed to lead these idiots to glory.
Speaking of idiots, Lucy once again found herself looking at Lighter. There was a deep looking scar that ran along his bicep. She had felt it before, seen it, but she never really looked at it. She rolled onto her stomach and folded her arms under her head. It was still odd to see him like this. So exposed. Vulnerable.
Lighter washed his face before he looked her way. Their eyes met, and he smiled.
“See something you like?”
Lucy didn't answer. She didn't need to. Lighter just chuckled and turned the light off again. He tossed the towel he used to dry his face aside and made his way back to his bed. His bed. She wasn't about to make a habit out of staying over.
And yet, when Lighter began to get back into bed, Lucy found herself moving until she was in a familiar position. She laid her head on his shoulder and allowed her arm to drop across his chest. Then a ding. Lucy lifted Lighter's phone to see that Caesar had messaged him (her) back.
The job ended up being more complicated than the company let on. The girls would be staying in Steeltusk tonight and be back tomorrow. Lucy peeked up to Lighter who was also reading the message. He didn't say anything about her using his phone. Never did. He was a pretty open person.
He was pretty.
She wanted to kiss him, so she did. It was how their unspoken arrangement worked. She did what she wanted, he would follow. His arms soon wrapped around her petite form. She found her heart aflutter which made her back off. Not too far. Never too far.
“That mean you're staying the night? Want me to make something to eat?” Lighter smiled.
Lucy just stared at him. He was so stupid. If he knew what he did to her. She laid her head back down, returning her attention to his phone.
“I'm not too hungry.” She mumbled as she opened Lighter's Interknot.
It used to be so basic, though now his feed was mostly dominated by a mix of both of their interests. A window into who he was outside of the undefeated champion. Hints of the person he really was. They both watched the screen in silence. This had become a bit of a routine of theirs in the recent months since they started their rendezvous. Neither needed to talk. They just needed to exist.
Lighter's arms stayed wrapped around her torso, something she became aware of once she tried to adjust herself. A coldness touched her skin when his grip loosened to let her move. She didn't like that. Lighter found his phone screen suddenly going black before Lucy fully turned to lay flat on her stomach. She now covered his chest but not much else.
“It's cold. Don't you have a heater?” She complained as she buried her face into his chest.
She felt Lighter look around the room.
“Not in here. It's in the living room. I can turn it on if you want.” He offered.
Always a gentleman. But she didn't want that right now. She just tried to pull herself closer.
“It's fine. Just…” She didn't finish.
She told herself not to get too close. They were partners at work and helped each other relieve stress after. They were both too busy to meet new people. That was the end of it. Friends with benefits.
And yet she found her mind racked with thoughts. She had questions about his scars, she was more than familiar in his bed, she looked for anything to get a peek into his life. And for what? Why? She knew this was something fleeting. No point in getting attached beyond companions.
Still, it was times like this where she found her mind wandering to her childhood. The mansion was much larger than the shared home that belonged to her Calydon sisters. So many people lived there, yet she was always alone. Always. No siblings to speak of, parents that never cared to get to know her.
“You okay, Luce?”
He was met with a sniffle. Lucy didn't even realize she was crying until Lighter was sitting up. A sob broke through as his hold on her tightened. A hand reached the back of her head and gently pulled her into him. She tried to stop it, to hold it in. He couldn't see her like this. Not this weak. But she couldn't help it. The feeling of being alone, of being left alone, it scared her. It terrified her.
How long until he was done with her?
“I got ya, Lucy. It's alright.” Lighter whispered to her. “It's alright.”
She felt his hand begin to run through her hair, an attempt to soothe her, as she cried. The last time she could recall anyone trying to comfort her was Alice back at her old school. Her friend had found her after a particularly bad screaming match with her father over the phone. It was the first time a friend was really there for her.
A friend. That was right. Regardless of what this was, Lighter was still her friend. Her partner. She could lean on him a bit, right?
Would that much be okay?
Just this once, she allowed herself to be vulnerable. She allowed herself to break.
ZZZ
Lucy sipped on her coffee as she listened to the radio. The news in New Eridu hardly changed, but it was a routine of sorts that she did with Piper in the mornings. It started when the trucker invited her shortly after her joining. They would chat if the news got too boring, which was often the case, but it was mostly a time to gather themselves before the day ahead.
It was definitely needed today. She hadn't talked to Lighter since the other night and today they had a job.
She left before he woke up. She felt bad, of course she did. She wasn't totally without a heart. She had a chance to talk to him two days ago, but she let it past.
She didn't know what happened. Something in her that night just…snapped. Being with him reminded her of all those lonely times and now she didn't know how to even approach him.
“What's got your pretty little self all worried?”
Lucy turned to Piper.
“I'm not worried.” Lucy argued.
“Sure. That's why you've been spacing out.” Piper pointed out.
Lucy turned back to her coffee and sighed.
“You can talk to little ol me. It's alright.” Piper assured her.
Lucy considered it. Piper definitely had more experience than she did.
“Have you ever found it hard to…open up to people?” Lucy asked carefully.
To her surprise Piper nodded. She put her paper down and rested an elbow on the counter.
“I struggled with it when Georgie passed. I didn't think I could let anyone in after him.” Piper revealed.
Lucy tilted her head.
“Who's Georgie?” She asked.
“My husband.”
Lucy almost did a spit take. She wasn't aware that the short woman was ever even married.
“O-Oh. Uh, sorry for your loss. I didn't even know..”
“I don't talk about him much. We met during the old days when we were both members of Cayldon. Back then I was running routes in a pick-up. He'd ride alongside me and try to keep up a conversation. He was such a gentleman. But, then, well, everything happened. He was killed.” Piper explained.
Right, the civil war that tore the old Cayldon gang apart. She had only heard about it in passing, never getting a straight answer, but now she was starting to understand why. The wounds were still fresh.
“I shut everyone out for a while after that. Didn't take til Caesar asking me to join the Sons that I started to allow myself to let people in again.” Piper elaborated.
Lucy stared at her coffee.
“What's this about, kiddo? Did you and Lighter get into a fight?” Piper guessed.
Lucy found herself flustered. No one knew about the two of them and their “activities”. At least, as far as she knew.
“What? W-What does that brute have to do with anything?” Lucy denied.
Piper only smirked knowingly.
“I mean, you two work together. Partners and all.” Piper teased further.
Lucy's face was now fully red. This was pointless. Of course Piper would rather tease than give any useful advice. In her attempt to look away, she spotted a familiar figure in the distance making his way towards Steeltusk. Lighter was once again in his familiar attire including his sunglasses. Somehow she still knew that his eyes were on her.
“Look, Lucy.” Piper placed a gentle hand on Lucy's shoulder. “I know it's scary to open up and let people get close, but it's worth it. For the right folk.”
Lucy gave her words some thought. Maybe she was right. Maybe. Lucy got up and finished her drink.
“Thank you, Piper.” Lucy quickly mumbled before throwing her helmet on and hurrying along.
Piper watched with a smile as Lucy walked over to meet Lighter half way. He stopped and waited for her to reach him, watching her all the while. When she finally got to him, Lighter nodded.
“Morning.” He greeted her.
Lucy hummed. Then the two stood there. In silence. In the middle of Blazewood. Thankfully not too many people were wandering around to witness the awkwardness. She wanted to apologize, but where would she even start?
“Can we talk?” Lighter suddenly asked.
Lucy nodded without thinking. He motioned for her to follow and before long the two were behind the storehouse. They were sure to be away from any prying eyes or ears. Just the two of them.
Lucy stood in the shade near the wall. She crossed her arms and waited for him to talk. She watched as he seemed to struggle with what to say. It was clear that whatever it was it had been bothering him.
Maybe this was it. He would tell her that he didn't want to see her anymore. Meet with her. It was an inevitability that she tried to prepare herself for, yet she still felt a sting in her heart. A twist in her stomach. She just braced for impact.
“Are you okay?”
She didn't even realize how tense she'd gotten until her fingernail had nearly broken skin. Lucy looked up at him.
“The other night, I mean. I've never seen you like that before. I-I got worried. Just wanted to check in, I guess.” He explained.
He began to rub his neck. Lucy just stared at him. He was checking in on her? He wasn't turned off by her breakdown? Was this what had him so bothered?
She looked down, rubbing her arm. She wanted to be more open with him, but it was hard to find the words. Find the courage, really. But she had to try.
“I'm…sorry. I still don't get what came over me, but you shouldn't have seen that.” She apologized.
Lighter shook his head and stood a bit straight.
“Don't apologize, Luce. If something is eating away at you, I hope you'll let me know. I'm your partner. I got your back.” He assured her.
Her partner. That's right, he was Lucy's partner. She spoke, he listened. That was what he always did.
Maybe Piper was right.
“I had…” Lucy stopped herself.
Was this really what she wanted to do? Tell him the truth? No, she needed to.
“I had a lonely childhood. Being with you, sometimes I remember and I just….I don't know. I get so bothered.” She confessed.
She looked to see his reaction. His brow flinched and he went to push up his glasses. She found it hard to look at him, knowing that he was worried about her this whole time. And here she was avoiding him.
“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up old memories like that.” He apologized.
Lucy's head snapped to him.
“Don't, it's not you.” Lucy immediately clarified.
Lighter finally looked at her again. He always did. Growing up she had grown according to being seen as a prize. A goal, a means to an end. She never had a man look at her like he did. He saw her. Treated her as an equal, even when she admittedly didn't do the same. His patience seemingly knew no bounds when it came to her.
She rolled her eyes.
“It's stupid. I'm sorry.” She repeated.
She flinched when Lighter suddenly took a step towards her.
“Stop apologizing. It's okay to feel this way.” He told her.
He gently took her hand, rubbing his thumb against her knuckles. Even through the leather gloves she felt him.
“The past hurts. Trust me, I know. But you're not alone anymore. You got us.”
Lighter reached out and lifted her chin to look at him. He was smiling softly.
“You'll never be alone again. I swear.” He promised.
His smile grew wider as he reached up and took her helmet from her head. Before she could lecture him about taking her headwear, Lighter leaned down and gave her a kiss on her forehead. Lucy was still registering the action when Lighter returned her helmet and turned towards the main road.
“If you ever need to talk, if you ever want to talk, come to me. Like I said, we're partners.” Lighter assured her.
Lucy just stood there looking at him. This man who just a few months ago was a stranger. He was willing to have her back, listen to her woes, support her to the fullest. Why? What for? It couldn't just be for the sex, surely. She reached up and straightened her helmet. It's okay to be open.
“I like it when you c-call me Luce.” She quietly confessed.
Lighter smiled.
“Then let's get to work, Luce.” He winked before pushing up his glasses.
Lucy nodded and hurried over to him. They walked to their bikes together, the air between them now once again back to its normal calm. Though now a new understanding lingered. Lucy looked up at the man called Lighter and smiled to herself.
She wasn't alone anymore.