Chapter Text
CHAPTER 1: Through the Rift.
Space travel wasn’t my first choice. In case anyone was wondering, I would’ve gladly stayed on Earth until my lungs quit.
I loved my home planet in a way that I loved how my mother smelled when I hugged her, or a warm fire on a cold day, or even seeing dirt under my dad's nails, and eventually, my little brother's nails too.
These things are a fundamental, necessary, and truly Earth experience. And I miss it more everyday I'm lingering in zero gravity.
Making it to Alpha Centauri is starting to feel more and more like a Pyrrhic victory, as the hours cycle through what would be Earth days and nights. I look at my little brother's hands, spotless and dirtless, pure and clean just like the soulless mission of traveling to a new home planet.
I wonder if my dad were here, would his hands look the same? Or if my mom would smell just as sweet and warm? Or would she smell like disinfectant? Probably. We all do.
When we began the mission, my doubt was ever growing and my mood was effortlessly homesick. Yet my parents always found a way to instill some hope in me. They told me I was right to be mad, furious even.That rage would be so helpful. That I was an immoveable spirit. They were truly sorry for dragging me and Dannie along.
But it's something we wanted, my mom told me. If your mother wants it, my father told me, we all come along for the ride. That's what families do. We stay together.
Thus, my ever-burning rage is directed towards my dead parents.
The parents that made togetherness an essential rule, and yet, when an alien robot threatened the journey and the lives of everyone in the 24th colonist's group, we were pushed into the nearest spaceship without a second thought. We were forced into a stranger's Jupiter, despite our 'golden rule.'
More than my rage, I feel that sense of crippling doubt in the back of my mind. I think, just maybe, my mother didn't love me enough to consider my opinion about leaving Earth. I wonder, really, if my dad truly loved me and Dannie, then why did he push us away?
I don't believe, for a second, that it was them 'protecting us.' I get sick at the m ere thought of that. My father should've fought to stay by our side. My mother should've fought just as hard.
Now, I don't have a little brother. I have a son. I have the job of a mother and the kind of anger embedded in my spirit that could get me in serious trouble.
Now I have to learn to be an adult all too soon.
Now, and I truly believe it; I am all alone. Without my planet, without my parents, I have to abandon all that I am for the best possible future for me and my little brother, the last of the Deckers.
For the moment, though, I keep my eyes clamped shut, warm tears streaking along my face inoffensively down the bend of my chin.
For just a moment, I allow myself to wallow in the natural state of anger I’m tempted to stay in.
I allow myself to do this because, now, everyone my age is without their parents, so my situation is dampened. Less valid.
I allow myself to cry, because all the 97 minors in the 24th Colonist Group are stuffed onto one Jupiter with the exact robot we were running from just 3 years ago.
I nearly sob, because now we're trusting that robot to open up a very turbulent rip in space and safely transfer us, just us, to Alpha Centauri.
The exact same robot who killed my mom and dad.
This is all because of one boy named Will Robinson. They say he made that metallic murder 'see the light' and he doesn't do shit like kill people anymore.
Yeah, I don't believe it either.
From nearly getting abandoned on a neighboring planet, to finding an aggressive forgiven rust contaminant that almost ate the Resolute, we finally opened a rift in the universe.
Because apparently, that's how we've done it 23 times in the past.
After so much parental sacrifice, I have to force myself to hope will get through this vomit-inducing space rift and end up in front of Alpha Centauri.
And man, I really hope this adventure is over.
~
I blink my eyes open, the muscles now aching from how terribly tight I've been holding them shut. I blink again and immediately look for Dannie, who hasn't moved from his spot next to me. I squeeze his hand just as tight, but he doesn't look bothered.
In fact, he looks quite pale. I loosen my grip and tighten it two times in rapid succession to let him know he's alright.
"Hey buddy. Glad to see you're not noodles." I say, my throat sounding dry and placing bad annunciation on my syllables.
I always sound like this when I'm trying not to sound too rude; overly gently to the point of disgust. At least in my mind.
Dannie giggles, seemingly getting over that exact fear of coming out of the other side of the rift as a bowl of spaghetti.
"I wish I was noodles..." Dannie grins so that I can only hear him. I giggle back, finding a slice of joy in a moment that gets increasingly more confusing.
I look around to make sure everyone is doing okay. I see kids helping each other unfasten their buckles and taking off each other's helmets.
Everything and everything seems okay.
What's weird is that Judy Robinson hasn't made an announcement saying we made it to Alpha Centauri.
I glance at the control room. I can count all three Robinsons and Vijay Djar.
I slowly regain the ability to move without upsetting my stomach. Before I can think, I look out the window.
Well, that's definitely not what the brochure looked like.
Obviously, that's not Alpha Centauri.
Okay.
I think to myself. I wait a few moments as I feel the anger seeping through my pores. My body temperature increases by a couple degrees.
I want to pitch myself for thinking this journey is over. It's hardy even started.
Where the hell are we?
I thought I said it to myself, but somehow I found myself standing in the control room in between Vijay Djar and Penny Robinson.
I demand to know what the fucking problem is this time.
I turn to Judy and repeat myself.
“Judy. Where the hell are we?” I snap. Judy is still looking straight ahead and out the window, staring at the planet that is most definitely not out intended destination. Judy glances at Will, ignoring me. If she wanted me out of the room, she would’ve said something by now.
I wait patiently for her response and follow suit with everyone else in the room, staring out the window in some twisted anticipation. There is a planet. Or what used to be a planet. The nearby star reflects on it’s face to reveal what I can only describe as a demolition site.
I inhale sharply.
As the dead planet continues to make it’s orbit around the sun, a ship is visible in the wreckage of nearby asteroids and debris.
The dots start to connect a little. The robot found a signal, but it wasn’t specified where the signal came from.
As the ship reflects the sun’s light, a name is visible on the side.
FORTUNA.
The robot picked up a signal from the FORTUNA. My anger auckly turns into fuel for practical thinking. I take a few steps closer to Judy and grab her shoulder cautiously.
“That makes no sense,” I mutter, just meant for Judy to her. I wonder where my timid tone is coming from.
I’ve met Judy before. We’re very similar in that we don’t listen to others for guidance. We know ourselves well, and I know Judy well enough that she wouldn’t lie to me to make me feel better, so she keeps her mouth shut. She doesn’t know what we’re doing jere any more than the rest of us.
“This makes no sense,” I repeat. There’s no point in talking to Judy. Everyone can hear me. “I mean, it makes sense. The robot picked up a signal.”
I turn to observe Will, his head tilted towards the floor. Everyone in the room has the same, frozen, and shocked look on their faces.
But Will, he looks so ashamed. Like he’s the one who made the mistake. I guess he didn’t know any better where the signal came from. I feel his guilt for a moment; I understand better than anyone feeling responsible for somebody else’s mistakes. I wish I could tell him it’s not his fault, but I wouldn’t be telling the truth.
If he wasn’t 100% certain, then why did he trust the robot so blindly?
“But if he knew we were headed to Alpha Centauri, then why didn’t he just send us there?”
I begin to mumble again. I’m getting the sense that no one is actually listening to me. I feel my face heat up again. I seriously need to stop embarrassing myself.
Finally, someone else speaks up.
“What is the FORTUNA ?” Vijay asks in weak interest.
Judy mumbles something to herself. I exchange a confused glance with Will, my nearest companion.
For some reason, I feel the urge to ask him something. I thought I had something important to venture an answer to, but the moment Will’s eyes connected to mine, I strangely lost grasp of it.
Instead, we share a long stretch of silence, just looking at each other. I don’t know why I didn’t pull away.
It felt like a full Earth rotation around Sol before I realized the awkwardness of the exchange. I coughed into my hand as a lame excuse to look back at Judy and break up the weird, unnameable feelings I got from looking too deep into Will’s eyes.
Penny scoffs at Vijay, as if he were a 3rd grader asking a remarkably stupid question.
Judy’s words trip over themselves. I think this is the first time I’ve heard her speak without absolute certainty evident in her voice. She manages to make out: “The FORTUNA was a ship that everyone thought was lost almost 20 years ago. It was commanded by Grant Kelly.”
Judy pauses. I tap my fingers against my side impatiently. This feels very unimportant in the grand scheme of things.
“My father,” Judy finishes.”
Oh, okay. Statement retracted.
~
So, here’s my hypothesis.
According to Will, the robot was going off radio signatures. A signal of some kind, right? Assuming of corse that he doesn’t just have the coordinates to any solar system across the known galaxy. Nope, only the engine has that. And even with the engine, he still can’t direct us towards Alpha Centauri without a radio signal? Yeah, that doesn’t feel right.
Hence, my first skepticism on the continuously growing list.
Somehow, the robot knew where Judy’d comatose and likely dead dad is and decided that was a better drop off spot than the only place we’ve been trying to get this entire time.
And the robot took us here… why? Will thinks he feels things. He wants to ‘help’ us.
What I think is this; he’s misleading us. The robot is driving us off course and distracting us with things he thinks that are worth getting distracted by, keeping us in one place long enough for the rest of his evil-robot-alien friends to get here and steal back their engine.
And kill all of us in the process. Or leave us stranded in the middle of nowhere.
Yeah, for some reason that feels more probable than Will’s theory. Sorry, Will.
I’m really starting to resent Will and his ability to ignore all of this. Despite his… nice eyes.
His ‘relationship’ with the robot feels like a personal ‘fuck you, Grace,’ because apparently it’s a sentient chunk of well-organized metal and it feels things and ‘noooo Grace, it doesn’t remember taking your parents away from you, so all must be forgiven. Tough luck. He’s changes and that’s enough’
Sure Will, people change.
But robots don’t.