Chapter Text
Luca was fine. Perfect even. He woke up at 7 am, went for a morning jog, and ate his breakfast of burnt eggs and barely toasted bread that he can never seem to get right. He attended morning practice, went through game tapes, worked on his canvas, and went to the gym. This was his routine, and it works. It always works.
So now he was confused about why he felt like absolute shit. Maybe he is coming down with something? Was there a flu going around? If so, he hasn’t heard from anyone about it, which was frankly rude. He felt a pounding ache in his head that was progressively getting worse as he curled himself a little more inwards and pushed against the cold brick wall behind his back. It feels like his senses have been heightened threefold and everything felt like... well, everything. The lights were bright, the noise felt louder, and the condensation on the bottle of beer he was holding felt too wet.
“Haasy, you good?”
A familiar voice pulled him out of his thoughts as he snapped up from his still full bottle to Ilya’s furrowed expression. He was leaning sideways against the wall next to Luca.
“Huh? Oh, yes. I’m good Cap.”
He tugged the corner of his lips up and forced a smile, bringing his bottle up to take a swig. It tasted like shit. Why does it taste so bitter and yucky?
“Hm.”
Ilya’s knitted brows did not loosen as he stared at Luca. His blue eyes calculating, slowly looked Luca up and down. Luca did not like that.
“You are sure?”
“Yes, Roz, ’m fine!”
It came out quicker and snappier than intended. But the pounding in his head was getting worse, he was starting to feel nauseous from it, and he hated the way Ilya was looking at him. Oh no, he could already feel a steady rush of heat behind his eyes. No. He cannot cry. Not in front of his captain. Not when everyone was having fun around him. He did not want to ruin the night. That is not being good.
Luca tore his eyes away from Ilya and down towards his own shoes. He knows it’s rude to turn away when he’s being spoken to by an adult, but his eyes were starting to turn blurry, and he really really did not want Ilya to see that. God he must really be coming down with something.
“I—um, need the bathroom.”
He muttered and hastily set his bottle onto the closest table before speed-walking towards the general direction of where he assumed the bathroom would be. It wasn’t too much of a busy night, but there were enough people that he had to dodge and try his best to weave through. Where the hell is the bathroom? And why does it feel like the room is starting to get smaller?
A frustrated whine came out as he looked for a sign that would point him to where he needed to go and hide away. His blurry vision was not getting any better even though he had been dabbing it roughly with his long-sleeve shirt.
“-aas, Haasy! Luca!”
Someone grabbed his wrists and pulled him.
“No Roz, ‘m okay!”
“What? Luca, I’m not Roz.”
Luca looked towards the voice and saw Young holding onto him with his head tilted in confusion. LaPointe was standing behind him with his brows raised.
“Yo, you do not look good.” LaPointe pointed out.
“No shit.” Luca snapped back.
“Whoa dude, I was just checking in.”
He raised both his hands up in defense and shook his head slightly. Luca sighed and pulled his wrist out of Young’s grasp. Well, he tried to at least.
“Nicky! Let go!”
Luca started to pout as he pulled back stronger, only to find his best friend doing the same as he tightened his grip and took a step closer. He was looking at Luca intently, flicking between the two eyes and analyzing his face.
“Luca…. Are you small?”
“No! ‘m not! I go bathroom!”
Luca was not small, he was a big boy. And why wasn’t Young letting him go to the bathroom? He stomps his foot in frustration. His headache is at an all time high, and all he wants to do is splash some cold water onto his face and go back home to his bed. Through the corner of his eyes, he saw Young leaning back towards LaPointe and whispering something to him before turning back.
“Ok, how about we go together? I need to go too.”
Luca stared at Young with a pout.
“You need to potty?” He asked quietly.
“Yea.” Young let out a small laugh and flashed a reassuring smile before starting to guide Luca down towards the left side of the room. The bathroom was empty. Thank goodness, Luca did not want to talk to anyone else. He beelined to the sink and turned the water on, splashing some water on his face clumsily.
“Hey Luca, when was the last time you dropped?”
Young leaned against the wall next to the door with his arms crossed casually in front of his chest, head tilted sideways.
“Summer” Luca muttered back.
“… Summer? As in, the summer we had 3 months ago? When you were in Zurich?” Young’s voice laced in concern as he asked. Luca nodded back warily and grabbed a paper towel to wipe his face. It felt rough against his skin, but he did not want to stay wet.
“It’s ok, Luca is a big boy. Don’t need to drop.”
“Luca, no, you need to drop! I think you already are to be honest.”
Luca glared at Young and stomped his foot again.
“No! ‘m big boy!” He argued back. Just as he was hurling the rumpled up paper towel into the bin and misses, the door swinged open.
“Young? Luca?”
It was Shane.
“Hey Hollsy.” Young gave out a slight sigh, glancing at Shane before turning his gaze back to pouting Luca.
“What’s going on? Is everything alright?” Shane looked at the two of them worried.
“Luca is dropping.”
“‘m not!” Luca spat out, glowering at Young, causing the two other men to share a look with each other.
“Ok, let’s get you home.” Shane stepped closer towards him.
“No! ‘m fine! No need! Big boy!” His lips were quivering and he could feel his eyes turning blurry again. His head felt fuzzy as he took a step back away from Shane’s reaching arm.
“C’mon, buddy, let’s go.” Shane did not let him get away, gently wrapping his hands around Luca’s arms and pulling him in. Luca started to sob as he shook his head. He does not need help. He does not want to be an inconvenience. He can do it himself.
“Shane.” A different voice this time. Low and familiar. Shane turns around and locks eyes with Ilya.
“Ilya, help me get Luca. We need to get him home.” Ilya nods and walks towards them, arms reaching out to wrap around Luca’s shoulder.
“No!” Shaking his head harder, Luca’s chokes out a sob. “No need!” He did not want to go home. Not to his empty sterile apartment. Not to the silence that engulfs him every night.
“Oh malysh, let us help you, yes?” Ilya gently shushed him and wiped Luca’s face with his thumb. Luca leaned into the warm hand as his sobs intensified. He hated this. The headache, the weird feeling in his tummy, the feeling of guilt of taking away the two captains' night, his cold sleeves that got wet when he was washing his face. The sobs turned into a wail. Shoulders and chest shaking, legs starting to loosen, and his hands coming up to roughly wipe his face. God he hates the wet sleeves.
Shane let out a huff and glanced at Ilya.
“Can you carry him? I’ll go get the car.” Ilya nodded in response. Shane planted a quick kiss to his husband’s cheek and gently brushed Luca’s hair away from his forehead. The boy was dropping hard, and Shane did not want them to stay here any longer.
“Let’s go malysh.” Ilya placed his hands under Luca’s arms and hoisted him up to his hips. Luca instinctively wrapped his arms around the Russian’s neck, shoving his face into the crook of it. Ilya’s large hand gently pat his back a few times before firmly wrapping around Luca’s curls, settling the boy’s head.
Shane nodded at Young with a brief thank you before looking back at Ilya. Together, they walk out of the bar, waving at their teammates with quick goodbyes as they left.
Ilya slowly swayed left and right, gently carding his hands through Luca’s curls in an attempt to soothe the baby’s sobs. Thankfully, the wailing stopped quickly when they left the bar. All Ilya needed right now was for Shane to come back from the valet with their car. Luca’s grip on his shirt tightened as he sniffled. Ilya planted a soft kiss into his curls and rubbed his back. Soon enough, a sleek black car pulled up right in front.
“We should’ve taken the Land Rover instead, this is not the best option for Luca right now.” Shane climbed out of the car and sighed. The current car was one of Ilya’s collection, it wasn’t necessarily bad, but it surely was not the most comfortable for a Little to relax in the back.
Shane opened the back door for Ilya to set Luca down.
“Mmmm, no!” Luca shook his head and tightened his grip around Ilya’s neck and shirt.
“C’mon baby, you need to let go.” Shane gently tried to dislodge Luca’s hand.
“Nooo!” The boy started to sob again and batted Shane’s hand away. “'lya stay!”
Ilya looked back at Shane as they silently communicated.
“Ok. Ok. I sit in back with Luca?”
“Yea, make sure to buckle him in properly.”
“Of course moy lyubimyy, I will keep our boy safe.” Ilya winked at Shane and slowly climbed into the back seat.
Somehow they were able to detach Luca from Ilya, setting him down properly with the seatbelt safely buckled. It did take a few hard minutes ,though, with Luca’s wailing and the two caregivers trying their best to calm him down. It ended with Ilya sitting in the middle seat with an arm wrapped around Luca’s shoulder as the boy laid his head against the Russian’s chest, quiet with occasional sniffles. Shane hid his grimace when Luca shoved his two fingers into his mouth to suck on. The boy needed something to soothe himself and Shane knew this was not the best moment to give a lecture on germs.
“Sorry,” Luca whispered.
“No myshka, no sorries.” Ilya responded with his lips in Luca’s hair.
❅
The drive was mostly silent. Luca would let out a whine now and then, followed by Ilya’s cooing and shushing. Shane’s gaze flicked up briefly at the rearview mirror and caught Ilya’s eyes. We need to talk to him about this. Ilya seemed to understand without the words and nodded in agreement.
Luca seemed to have fallen asleep momentarily as he flinched up when the car hit the gravel entering their house's driveway. He looked around confused and tense.
“We’re home malysh.” Ilya whispered.
“Home?” Luca repeated quietly.
“Da, home. Come on, let’s go in.” Ilya unbuckled both their seats as Shane stepped out of the car to open their door.
“Can you walk buddy? Or I can carry you?” Shane crouched down to Luca’s eye level with a small smile. Luca slowly shook his head.
“I can walk.” He pushes himself off from where he leaned on Ilya and slides off the seat, setting his feet down onto the gravel. Shane moved out of his way but held up his hand for Luca to hold onto.
“Luca?”
Shane tilted his head and gently called the boy’s name. His eyes were glassy, nose and cheeks a soft shade of rosy pink, probably from the crying.
“This is not home.” Luca commented, words slightly smushed from the fingers in his mouth.
The house Luca was staring at is big. It wasn’t Luca’s first time visiting, but he never really got a chance to properly take it in. The first time was when Shane transferred to the Centaurs, and the two husbands threw a housewarming party soon after. The second was for Shane’s birthday. And today is the third time. It is a beautiful house. A house Luca has dreamt of as a child. Even in the dark with gusts of wind blowing harshly against himself, the house stood warm and welcome. But this was not Luca's.
Ilya climbed out after Luca and placed a tentative hand behind Luca’s back.
“What do you mean?” Shane asked.
“It’s not my home…” Luca glances at Shane unsure, voice soft with uncertainty.
“This is home for tonight malysh.” Ilya pointed out instead and gave Luca a slight push from the back to steer them towards the entrance. The wind was starting to pick up, and he did not want the baby to get sick.
Shane nodded in agreement and carefully took Luca’s empty hand. “We can take you back to your home when you are feeling big.”
“Zurich?” Luca’s voice picked up. Shane paused.
“No baby, home here. In Ottawa?”
“Oh.” He sniffled a little and jerked his head to a quick nod. Yes, his home here. Of course.
Ilya pursed his lips. He felt the familiar feeling spilling out of Luca's disappointed nod. It took him a while to adjust when he first moved to Boston. The first few months were rough, lonely, and frankly, really fucking scary. At least he had Svetlana to talk to and spend time with. She helped remind him of Russia, the only home he knew at the time. But who did Luca have here?
The house was warm. Shane likes to maintain it at the perfect temperature all the time so he can always feel comfortable. They closed the front door, shrugged off their jackets, and hung it on the hooks lining the entry hall.
“Can you take your shoes off yourself?” Shane checked in.
“Yes.” Luca nodded and plopped down on the floor, causing Shane to flinch.
“It’s dirty on the floor baby…” Shane muttered under his breath as he clenched and unclenched his fist. Ilya let out a chuckle and shook his head in amusement.
Luca seemed to have completely missed what Shane said as he zeroed in on taking his shoes off. Scratch that. He was trying to take his shoes off. For some godforsaken reason he chose to wear his impossibly complicated high top Converse that he always tied the lace tightly, wrapping around the ankle area twice. His fingers were clumsy and would not undo the knot properly. He pulled and tugged, but it only got tighter and hurt his hands. Now that he registered how tied up the shoes were on his feet, it started to feel like too much. He needed them off now. The boy’s breathing was getting progressively short as he tugged and tugged with frustration bubbling out.
“Please?” Luca looked up with blurry eyes. “Help, please?”
“Oh, myshka, of course.” Ilya immediately bent down and fumbled with the knot, figuring out how the hell the rookie tied this thing. It didn’t take too long to untie it though, thankfully. With a quick tug here and there, the shoes slid off with ease. Shane took them from Ilya’s hands and neatly lined them up on the show rack.
Ilya decided to just pick the boy up and settle him on his hips. It seemed to be the right choice as Luca immediately leaned in against his shoulder, nuzzling into the Russian’s neck, fingers finding their way back into his mouth. They walked through the hall and into the kitchen.
“Are you hungry, Luca?” Shane eyed the boy’s fingers wrapped warmly inside his mouth.
Luca shook his head in response and let out a small sigh. His eyes were drooping and he was blinking slower.
“I think our boy wants to go bed? Get some sleep, da?” Ilya asked with a low voice. It rumbled against his chest as Luca leaned in closer to feel the vibrations against him. It felt nice and calming.
“You need to shower first baby. We just came back from a bar. Ilya can help?” Shane mumbled as he stepped closer and brushed a strand of hair away from Luca’s forehead.
“No!” Luca’s head jerked up as he shook it fast. “No, I can do alone.”
“Malysh it is too dangerous for you to shower alone when you are small. I will help you.” Ilya gently swayed Luca on his hip.
“No, no ‘lya, I wash myself. ‘m big boy, I can be good.” Luca’s eyes started to water again.
It wasn't surprising for Littles to cry and feel rather emotional from unscheduled drops, but this was starting to become concerning. Shane knew Luca was a polite and shy boy with immaculate manners. He was easily flustered when it came to himself and Ilya, considering they were on his wall in his childhood bedroom. But the boy seemed to be on edge a lot more tonight. Whenever he or his husband would offer help, Luca tried his best to refuse and repeated how he was a big boy. It was different from when littles were being stubborn or when they were only halfway into their headspace. This seemed to be something deeper than that.
“It’s ok baby, Ilya really wants to help! It will make him so happy.” Shane gave him a big smile and gave Ilya a look.
He caught on immediately.
“Da! Will you let me help Luca? Please?”
Luca’s gaze flickered between Shane and Ilya. Unsure if they were being genuine or not. It didn’t take long for him to give them a quiet nod. His headache was starting to shift into a fuzzy feeling. And to be honest, he did not want to shower alone. It was scary to shower alone.
❅
Ilya stepped out of the steaming bathroom, towel wrapped low around his waist. Luca was on his hip, wrapped tightly and warm with a large, fluffy bath towel engulfing him. He was completely relaxed and pliant.
“Shane will help dry your hair and we get you in bed, da?” Ilya whispered.
“Thank you.” Luca replied politely as he tucked two fingers into his mouth again.
Shane was already waiting, sitting on the guest bed with a new dry towel and detangler. He liked helping Ilya with his hair at night so he knew the routine well.
“Come here baby, Ilya will get you some pajamas.” Shane opens his arms out as Ilya gently placed Luca’s back against Shane's chest. “Good shower?” He chuckled at the boy.
Luca hummed in response and continued sucking on his fingers. Shane’s gentle hands working through his curls felt really nice, and the warmth of this all made his tummy feel funny.
Ilya walked back in with a pair of Shane’s soft white sweatpants and his own old Boston Raiders T-shirt. Luca was basically asleep against Shane as he worked through the last bit of the baby’s curls. With a few quick gentle taps on Luca’s shoulders, Shane took the T-shirt from Ilya and straightened the boy up a little.
“Let’s get you dressed.” Shane explained and put Luca’s head and arms through the designated holes. Luca was a lot more compliant than earlier, probably too sleepy to register much. Ilya followed with a quick work of sliding a pair of fresh new underwear up Luca’s legs and the sweatpants next. Within a few seconds the boy was nice and warm in his pajamas.
Ilya and Shane worked as a team. One pulled the cover back, and the latter maneuvered Luca to lay down properly. By the time they tucked the boy in comfortably, Luca was fast asleep. The two caregivers stared at the boy with a gentle smile that had a faint trace of concern, watching his chest rise and fall slowly.
“We need to talk.”
“Yes, solnyshko.” Ilya planted a soft kiss on Shane’s cheeks and wrapped his arm around the husband’s shoulders.
❅
“Do you know when he last dropped?” Shane asked. They had migrated to the living room and were sitting on the couch, wrapped up in each other’s arms and legs.
“Young said Luca told him it was 3 months ago.”
“3 months?” Shane’s head jerked up from where it was settled against Ilya’s chest. “That’s way too long!”
“Da, I know.”
“Why did he not go to a center?” Shane let out a huff. “This is so irresponsible. Luca should know better.”
Ilya let out a gentle hum in response, not in agreement, more of an observational hum.
“What? Am I wrong? It is irresponsible.” Shane argued. Ilya's arms around his husband wrapped a little tighter as he set his chin on the man’s head.
“No, moy lyubimyy, you are not wrong. It is irresponsible.”
“But?”
“But, I understand. A little.” Ilya said quietly.
“… Explain, please.” Shane needed to understand this, and Ilya let out a small chuckle.
“He is here alone, Shane. It is probably scary. I think he is also very homesick.”
“Isn’t it scarier to randomly drop in god knows where after avoiding centers?”
“True, but Luca probably did not realise this. He is still very young, solnyshko. First time living away from his family and friends. And I don’t think anyone is guiding him on what to do.”
Ilya thought back to the time he caught Luca on the phone with his parents. The hall was silent, and the voices in the phone were loud enough for Ilya to hear, although it was in German anyways, so he couldn’t have understood in the first place. Luca’s expression was closed off, his eyes had a distant empty look as he nodded and responded with precision. It felt like watching himself when he use to call his papa.
“We need to talk to him when he’s big again. I don’t like this.” Shane’s comment pulled Ilya out of his thoughts.
“You don’t like Luca dropping?”
“No, not like this. It’s not safe! He needs to drop regularly either at a center or with someone that can take care of him. What if he drops in the middle of a game? He could get hurt! Plus, with him not dropping for 3 months straight, he will most likely be dropping randomly throughout the next few weeks. It's not healthy and will be causing more trouble than necessary.” Shane ranted on with concern.
“We can.” Ilya offered.
“What?”
“We can take care of him. If Luca wants.”
This time, Shane sat up properly and looked at Ilya. They have talked about children, maybe after they retire, but Shane knows how much Ilya loves them and had always wanted to build a family. Admittedly, he himself also wants it too. The house they live in was purposely chosen to accommodate that. It had more than enough rooms and space in the backyard for a big family to run around. They felt the occasional ache as caregivers, which they tried to smooth out by babysitting the Pike kids or helping the other Littles in the team when needed. This time, though, it felt different. Shane turned his head towards the staircase that led up to where Luca was tucked in and fast asleep.
“You think so?” He whispered.
“Yes.”
“Do you think we can do a good job at it?” Shane turned back around with pinched brows.
“It will be regular scheduled drops. We will learn to have routine with him.”
Silence spread between them.
“Ok. Ok, we’ll talk to him.” Shane nodded slowly and tucked himself back into Ilya’s arm.
They will figure this out with Luca.
And maybe this will be a start of something they’ve always wanted.