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“What do you mean you got him high?”
Knox flinched at the sound of Neil's brooding voice. Behind him, Charlie rolled his eyes.
“It wasn’t intentional,” he mumbled.
“Not intentional,” Neil repeated, biting his lip. “You gave him edibles!” Neil turned behind himself and pointed to Todd, staring up at the ceiling. His pupils were dilated to the point where you could barely see his iris. A giant grin was plastered on his face while he muttered something incomprehensible. “Just look at him!”
“We didn’t know that they were edibles!” Charlie retorted. He couldn’t help but laugh at Todd in his current state. He was met with Knox’s elbow.
“Didn’t know. Didn’t know!” Neil’s voice sounded exasperated, as if he should have been in bed by that time. He rubbed his forehead before asking. “Did you two eat any?”
“A few,” Knox replied. “Nothing. The weakest edibles I’ve ever had.”
“You’ve had edibles before?” Neil tilted his head.
“You haven’t?” Knox laughed.
“No!” Neil turned back around to see Todd rolling around on the floor, again. “Just- how long until it wears off?”
“He only ate one, so I’d say about an hour,” Charlie suggested. “You know, we’d thought you’d appreciate us bringing food back from that party.”
That stupid party. Knox had invited the poets to come to some house party. Of course, none of them went besides Charlie. They'd brought back cookies, and Todd was the only one to have some. Once he ate it, he’d collapsed on the floor, and most of the boys had thought he was dead.
“What are we going to do with him,” Neil sighed.
“We?” Charlie laughed.
“You guys gave him the edibles!”
“You were the one to invite him into the group,” Charlie insisted. “He’s your responsibility." Charlie poked Neil’s chest. “He’s also your roommate.”
Before Neil could protest, Knox and Charlie had already sprinted into their rooms and slammed the doors behind them. Neil heard both their locks click.
Great.
Neil, after shutting his own door, turned back around to face Todd. He was still on the floor, mumbling his incoherent thoughts.
Neil laughed at the sight. Out of everybody he knew, he expected Todd to get high the least. He thought it was impossible until now . “Well,” he started. “What on earth am I going to do with you?”
“Neillllllllll!” Todd groaned. He flipped over onto his stomach, face towards the ground. “Why are there colors everywhereeeeeeee!”
“There’s colors everywhere all the time, Todd,” Neil chuckled. He strolled over to Todd and flipped him over. With luck, Todd wouldn’t remember anything that had happened that night, or he’d be insufferable for the rest of the year. Not that Neil found him insufferable, the opposite, really. Todd was going to be a pain in the ass for the rest of the poets if these drugs didn’t wear off sooner. “Maybe you should get to bed.”
“I-I,” Todd grumbled. “I- don’t wannaaaaaaa!”
“I know,” Neil replied, voice soft. He always ensured that his voice was soft for Todd, as if not doing so would kill him. He hoisted the boy onto his shoulder, and dropped him on his bed. “Now go to sleep.”
“The colors are too bright,” Todd complained. “Turn off the colors.”
“The colors will turn off when you go to sleep,” Neil reasoned. Todd didn’t respond. In fact, he tried keeping his eyes open as long as he could. “Go to sleep,” Neil insisted again, but Todd refused. He continued staring into Neil’s eyes.
The silence was broken when Todd finally said, “Wow.”
“Wow what?” Neil asked, suddenly intrigued. Todd didn't answer for a moment, as if he was thinking about something.
“Your eyes are like sapphires,” he finally said.
Oh.
Neil blushed suddenly, taken aback by the heat in his body rising.
“I think your vision’s a little hazy,” Neil suggested, unsure if he should hope for the other option. During school, Neil would have never allowed the thought of liking another man to cross his mind. Now though, he was in college, far away from his father and any influence he had over him. Even now, Neil despised having these sorts of thoughts. But ever since he’d met Todd back when he was sixteen, they had been plaguing him. “M-maybe we should-”
“Have I ever told you that I want to kiss you,” Todd, smirked as his voice became more eager with passion and lust. Neil’s face only grew redder. “-because if not,” Todd pulled Neil closer to himself, right before Neil shoved him away.
“Todd!” Neil’s exasperated voice shouted. “You’re not thinking straight!”
“I am seeing more clearly than I ever have before,” Todd laughed. Neil was taken aback by how sure Todd sounded. Only a minute ago, he’d been a mess, lying on the floor. Now though, he was certain, as if he wasn’t high at all. Suddenly though, his face sank. “Do- do you not like me back?”
“No, no, I-” Neil stumbled. He sat down next to Todd and gripped the sheets. A million thoughts raced in his head. He’s a boy, was the most consistent. But for a second, Neil looked into Todd’s eyes. They seemed to be full of stars. Wow. And for a moment, Neil smiled, in spite of himself. “I-I- I don’t know.”
Todd grinned, staring aimlessly into Neil’s eyes again. Then, in the silence, said, “Let’s find out.” Todd gripped Neil’s shirt and pulled him close until their lips touched. Neil didn’t pull away, instead, he relaxed, sinking deeper into the kiss; into the moment. Todd, after what felt like only a few seconds, let go. Neil had the urge to pull him back, but held himself down.
“I think I do,” Neil teased. He watched Todd smirk, and smiled again once Todd’s lips were back on his.
xxx
“Why did you want to leave?” Todd asked after about an hour. Neil’s lips broke apart from Todd’s face.
“What do you mean?” Neil asked.
“Back then, before college…” Todd stopped for a moment. “You tried to-”
“Todd, everything is okay now,” Neil assured. Todd didn’t respond. He only shook his head.
“I almost lost you. I can’t let that happen again. Not after everything,” Todd cried.
Neil stared at Todd. And for the first time in years, he was unsure what to say. Even with the glimmer of hope that tonight wasn’t just a one night stand, Neil felt hopeless. But maybe, maybe he didn’t have to be. Todd was with him now, and God was he beautiful. His eyes shimmered, his soul was brighter than the sun. Even if tonight was the only night where they could be together, it would be okay.
Xxx
Neil’s eyes flickered open as the sun rose over the horizon. He turned to see Todd, sleeping beside him. For a moment, Neil was terrified. He’d always been told about one night stands, and how they can end in complete anarchy or disaster. Lucky for Neil, Todd couldn’t get pregnant, but that was the least of his concerns. He dreaded the idea of waking Todd, but his curiosity (more accurately, fear) overtook him. He tapped Todd’s arm, praying that he’d wake up, but it was only after pressing a kiss on his forehead that he did.
“Hi,” Todd mumbled.
“Hey,” Neil replied. “Are you feeling alright?”
Todd shook his head. “Never better, why?”
“You, how do I say this?” Neil said. “Umm. What happened last night, was it real?” Todd blinked. Once, twice, three times. His grin fell.
“Why?” He almost sounded offended.
“Because,” Neil continued. “You were on drugs and then you-”
“Neil, I’ve been fine since,” Todd thought for a second. “I think I came back right before I kissed you.”
Oh.
Oh shit.
“Oh, shit.”
“Yeah. “
“And you remember everything?”
“The colors were everywhere, Neil. It was horrible.”
Neil couldn’t help but cackle. “Oh shit.”
“So, do you feel the same way?” Todd asked.
Neil put on a shit eating grin and said, “I don’t know. Let’s find out.” Neither of them hesitated this time. Todd dragged his hands through his hair while Neil moaned.
After what felt like an hour, Neil finally checked his watch.
12:00.
“Fuck, he mumbled.”
“What?” Todd asked, half delirious from what had previously been occurring. He rolled off of Neil, who sat up. He smacked his hand on his face.
“I don’t think I’m going to class today,” Neil sighed. “Well, there’s always tomorrow for that.” Todd laughed as Neil pulled him closer and kissed him.
“You’re crazy,” Todd smiled. Neil could do nothing but smile back.
“You’re a great top by the way.”