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The apartment was silent.
Normally there was the hum of the tv, or the music from the radio, or talking. There was none of that. The atmosphere felt off, Coworker always found a way to light up the area he was in, but that spark seemed to be dead this time.
Protag squeezed the dish towel having all the access soapy water drip into the bath. He turned his attention back to the man in front of him. Coworker sat slightly hunched over in the bath, he stared straight ahead at the wall with his numb expression.
Tears weakly fell down his face silently, the fresh scars in the bath was slightly turning the water around his wrists red.
Protag used the soapy rag to wipe along his shoulders and back, looking at his partner lovingly. “There you go…does that feel nice?” The raven haired gently asked, making sure the blonde was comfortable. But, he got no answer.
Protag gained a frown and leaned closer to place a kiss on Coworker’s cheek. “Don’t worry, sweetheart…I’ll patch you up properly when I’m done cleaning you, ok?” His voice was soft as silk, making sure he didn’t startle Coworker or make him feel scared.
“….’M sorry…”
Protag barely heard him.
“What was that, honey…?”
“…I’m sorry…”
His shoulders began to shake, the tears began to come back and fall down his face faster. Protag immediately dropped the cloth and hugged Coworker, not even caring he was getting himself and his clothes damp. “Shh…honey…you don’t have to apologise it’s okay…” but the sobs worsened.
“I-I promise I would stop…I needed to stop for you. I’m…I’m so sorry…” Protag knew about his boyfriend’s self harm. It originally stemmed from when he was a child and was often physically punished by his mother for acting “bad” so whenever he thought he did something wrong, he self harmed. But it slowly turned into an addiction and doing it basically daily just to cope.
But he stopped for a while, once Protag discovered it for the first time, he insisted he was going to quit for him. And he kept his word, for a few months at least. But today, Coworker fucked up at closing a deal so badly Normal Guy scolded him in front of the entire office. Coworker acted strong after, playing it off whenever someone or Protag asked if he was ok.
But Protag had this terrible gut feeling that something was gonna go wrong. And he was right.
He got home a while after Coworker today, and just knew something was…wrong. He searched their whole apartment, just when he thought Coworker must’ve been out of the house he heard small sobs coming from their closet. He opened it to find him curled up, shaking and crying, wrists covered in blood and blade on the floor in front of him.
He looked so small, like a scared little kid hiding after doing something he wasn’t supposed to do. It reminded Protag of when he was a small child hiding in his bedroom closet from his parents whenever he did something wrong, but his parents always caught him.
Coworker was in a state of shock, just apologising over and over and over, no matter how much Protag insisted he wasn’t in trouble. And after a lot of convincing Protag finally got Coworker to agree to a bath, now here they were.
Snapping back to reality Protag gently took one of his lover’s scared arms and traced the wounds before looking back up at him. “You don’t need to be strong all the time, you don’t have to act all high and mighty just for me. You’re scared, you can have bad days, not just me. And I’ll be there with you through all of them, every step of the way.”
Coworker’s tears only got worse at his boyfriend’s words. He never had anyone in his life that treated him with such unconditional, supportive love, he mentally could not handle it, he felt confused and scared at it, but his chest felt so warm and like his heart was gonna burst.
God, he felt so vulnerable and it scared him, here he was the high and mighty higher up breaking down, naked and bleeding in his bath while his boyfriend comforted him. His mother would’ve laughed in his face if she saw him, she would’ve called him an embarrassment to their family, she would’ve-
…
His mother wasn’t here, but instead the man who was probably the love of his life.
So why should he care what she would think?
His tears slowly began to calm down, but they never went away fully. Now his nose was runny and his head hurt like hell. He let out a small pitiful whine as he leaned back in the bath, eyes feeling heavy. Protag smiled, “I’ll drain the bath, just give me a minute ok? I have to clean up a bit. I’ll be right back.”
Protag was quick in cleaning up the blood on the closet floor, wrapping the blade up in tissue and a bag before throwing it away and putting Coworker’s slightly bloody clothes in the hamper to wash later. He made his way back to the bathroom and began to drain the bath, wrapping Coworker up in a towel and helping him out the tub like he was made of glass.
He sat him on the bed and began the process of properly cleaning up his cuts. “I know it hurts I’m almost done…” he would murmur whenever he heard Coworker wince from the sting of the rubbing alcohol. He quickly bandaged them up and focused on drying hid boyfriend up properly.
“Do you want pyjamas or not?” He asked entering back into the bedroom after hanging up the towel. Coworker had curled up to cover his last bit of dignity and quietly murmured; “…second option…but can I have boxers?” He felt embarrassed saying that last part.
The raven haired smiled and retrieved a pair of boxers from their drawer, handing it to him. He himself changed into an oversized shirt, placing his slightly damp clothes into the hamper as well before getting into bed finally. The second he did, Coworker clung to him like a vine, his exhaustion already getting the best of him.
Protag just rubbed his hair soothingly and whispered sweet nothing’s into his partner’s ear, and would occasionally grab one of Coworker’s bandaged wrists and kiss them softly. And once he finally heard the sound of soft, evened out breathing from Coworker who was out like a light, he turned off the beside lamp, smiled lovingly, and closed his eyes himself.
But he said one more thing before falling asleep fully.
“I love you so much, honey and I will always stay by your side.”