Archive of Our Own

Hollanders + Pikes

Hayden
Hey Y&D, he woke up again while you were out.
Had to remind him who I was.
Again.
Doc gave him another injury/recovery spiel but at this point it might be easier to just write the instructions down for him to read when his memory is back.

Jackie
Any chance he’ll forget what a macro is as well?
(Kidding, obviously)
Give him a hug from me and the kids Hay.

Yuna
Thank you, both, for being there for him. It means so much to us that Shane has such good friends ❤️

Hayden
Speaking of, you’ll never guess who showed up at the hospital.
ROZANOV

Jackie
No way!!!

Yuna
How did he even get in? I’ve got the security manager’s number, I will contact him immediately.

Hayden
How did you get
Actually nvm. Of course you have the number of the hospital security manager.

Yuna
❤️

Hayden
Anyway you don’t need to call anyone. Rozanov left already.
He actually looked pretty cut up about Marleaus hit.
Best part was Shane’s response when I told him who had visited.

Jackie
What did he say????

Hayden
“Who’s Ilya Rozanov?”

Jackie
LMAO

NHL Updates @NHLUpdates
Ilya Rozanov given official warning after a fight breaks out at San Francisco club following recent loss. Witnesses claim the Boston captain was drunk, disorderly, and snapping at his own team. Full story below.

Bost On Me @joebean
lol @CliffMarlyNHL come get your man.

Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @rozy81
Marly is banned from touching anyone ever.

Cliff Marleau ☑️ @CliffMarlyNHL
Our flight leaves in like two hours Ilya Rozanov, where are you?

Hockey Whore @whorckey69
not the full government name 😩 oh this is BAD bad.

Bost On Me @joebean
pls don’t get divorced in my comments 🙏

Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @rozy81
Okay fine. Will not divorce. If husband orders me taxi to airport.

Cliff Marleau ☑️ @CliffMarlyNHL
🙄

Musketeers

Shane
I think I’m in love.

Hayd
Oh my god???
Who????
Since WHEN?

JJ
Alright cap!!!

Hayd
WHO!!!

Shane
No idea.

Hayd
… okay?
Concussion headache still going strong i’m guessing?
Are you even meant to be on your phone rn?

Shane
I’m being serious.
I just have this feeling.
Like someone’s missing. Someone important.
Am I married??

Pikes

Hayden
Shane’s asking about his wife.
He doesn’t have a wife.
Wife hallucinations.
Shit what’s that a symptom of?
Google says brain tumour??????
Yuna isnt picking up phnoe I dont have doctor number helphelp.

Jackie
He has amnesia not cancer idiot.

Hayden
What do I tell him???

Jackie
The truth, obviously.
🙄

Hayden
Oh. Duh.
Thank you babe love you babe.

Musketeers

Hayd
You are definitely not married.

Shane
Am I dating someone?

Hayd
Not since Rose i don’t think?

JJ
Wait you broke up with Rose?

Hayd
Dude…

Shane
It’s not her, she visited last week.
(Thanks for the heads up about the MOVIE STAR EX by the way.)

Hayd
Is that sarcasm??

JJ
Omg, did you ask her who she was?
You did didn’t you?
🤣🤣🤣
Please tell me someone got it on camera.

Shane
Fuck off.
There’s definitely someone though.
I haven’t felt like this for anyone before.
You’re sure you don’t know who I’m dating?

Hayd
Hey don’t blame us! You’re the cagey one!
Took years for you to even admit Boston Lily existed.

Shane
Boston Lily?

Lily

Shane
Hi, this is going to sound crazy but I recently had a head injury and I have something called retrograde amnesia. My friend thought you and I might have been close, apparently we met up a lot? So I’m just getting in touch to apologise if you’ve been waiting for me to contact. Could you please give me a call when you have a chance?

Message undelivered.

Shane
Oh.

Message undelivered.

Shane
Please. I feel like I’m going crazy.

Message undelivered.

Shane Hollander ☑️ @ShaneHollanderOfficial
Hello Twitter. I am trying to find a Lily from Boston who might have changed her number recently. My contact details haven’t changed. Please call me.

#1 Shane fan @holyholly
Is this for real?

NHL Enthusiast @hockey4life
Screaming lol the RATIO. Every Lily in Boston rising like Rasputin.

Hockey Whore @whorckey69
not Shane Hollander remembering his password for a girl 💀#FindBostonLily

#1 Shane fan @holyholly
The pussy must be unrivalled.

#1 Shane fan @holyholly
He didn’t even login when mtl WON THE CUP.

Hayden Pike’s 5th Child @heydenpike
Imagine getting to hit THE Shane Hollander and then changing your number lmfao.

Hayden Pike’s 5th Child @heydenpike
Wait does this mean cap’s bad in bed? 🧐

Hayden Pike’s 5th Child @heydenpike
Stop booing me, #hollandry only lasted a MONTH! 

Hayden Pike’s 5th Child @heydenpike
Stroke game canonically abysmal.

#1 Shane fan @holyholly
❌ blocked ❌

NHL Enthusiast @hockey4life
Has anyone tried asking @rozy81, he probably knows every girl in Boston by now 🤣

Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @rozy81
Is true. I have number of every Lily in city. She says is better if boring captain forgets about her.

Bost On Me @joebean
because she prefers you and your big… hockey stick?

Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @rozy81
And my big 🍆

[post deleted]

Shane’s Lily @hannabanana
Hi baby @ShaneHollanderOfficial ❤️ I lost your number, send it to me?

metrooos @hockleberry
girl you didn’t even change your @

Musketeers

JJ
Hollzy get off twitter 🤣🤣🤣

Shane
Well no one else had a better idea!
You don’t understand.
I need to find her.

JJ
Your good bro we support you.
Ignore Rozanov and the haters.
Can’t wait to meet her fr.

Hayd
Jackie says the WAGs are activated.
Which is apparently a good thing and not the precursor to like
The end of civilisation or something.
Bridget and Priya are cross-referencing any of the Lilys who seem legit.

Shane
Thank you Bridget and Priya?

Hayd
(Girlfriend of Mitty and wife of Ben)

Shane
Sure.

Hayd
Sorren Miitka (Mitty) = goalie (#1)
Ben Kock = defenseman (#71)
Jackie = my wife.

Shane
Oh, awesome. Thank you Bridget and Priya (and Jackie!)

JJ
Jesus Christ bro you gotta sort out this memory shit.
You were at Kock’s wedding.
Also you owe me one million dollars.

Hayd
Shut up JJ.

JJ
How about one hundred dollars?

Hayd
Shut up JJ.
Actually Shane, Jackie says to play up the amnesia angle.
Make people feel bad for you.
Girls love that injury shit.

Shane
Swear jar.

Hayd
Oh you don’t remember your team but you remember the flipping JAR

Lily

Shane
I miss you.

Message undelivered.

Shane
Whatever it was, I can fix it. I’ll do better. I feel like I’m dying.

Message undelivered.

NHL Updates @NHLUpdates
Boston’s Ilya Rozanov facing suspension following increasingly aggressive play on the ice last night. Sources say the controversial captain is partying harder than ever. Is this a return to old habits? Full story below.

ilya rozanov only fans @hockeyh8r
all of hockey losing their minds this week apparently 

Shane Hollander ☑️ @ShaneHollanderOfficial
Thank you to everyone genuinely trying to help #FindBostonLily. As you may recall I suffered a head injury last month plus broken collarbone, concussion, fractured rib, and some bruising. One of the side effects has been some lasting amnesia.

[image attached: Shane one week post collision]

#1 Shane fan @holyholly
OKAY WHICH ONE OF YOU HIRED THE ETSY WITCH!

#1 Shane fan @holyholly
a TOPLESS PHOTO. UNPROMPTED.

shane holeander @iEatHollanov
Skin: moisturised. Crops: watered. Hollander nipples: on my timeline.

metrooos @hockleberry
my man with a full six pack while laid up like a victorian widow

shane holeander @iEatHollanov
Am I a bad person for thinking he looks good bruised up?? 🥵🥵 Cliff Marleau I did not recognise your game…

Cliff Marleau ☑️ @CliffMarlyNHL
Sorry again brother! Hope you find your girl #FindBostonLily

metrooos @hockleberry
shane hollander using what g*d gave him to get twitter’s attention. girl we are SAT. point us where you want us boss!

Hayden Pike ☑️ @haydenpikeNHL
Shane I said remind them of the amnesia not post whatever the hell this is.

#1 Shane fan @holyholly
No no! Let the man speak!

Leo @shaydentruther
Hayden showing up as soon as there’s shirtless Shane pics lmao.

Hockey Whore @whorckey69
Wait amnesia? Is this still about the girl who ghosted him?

Shane Hollander ☑️ @ShaneHollanderOfficial
Yes. I am looking for Lily from Boston. I can’t remember her last name, address, or family details. I know enough to miss her though. Any help is greatly appreciated.

Hockey Whore @whorckey69
holy shit Shane Hollander in my notes be cool be cool 🫣🫣

#1 Shane fan @holyholly
This sounds like more than just a fling fellas… #FindBostonLily

Carter Vaughn ☑️ @CVaughn19
@ShaneHollanderOfficial dude u have her old number? Go through your texts. Good luck, rooting for u! 

Shane Hollander ☑️ @ShaneHollanderOfficial
Our chat history is fully deleted, maybe we had a fight? 

[image attached: an empty chat history starting Feb 2011]

Carter Vaughn ☑️ @CVaughn19
Ouch. Get on your knees and GROVEL when u find her man.

Hunterly @admiraladmire
“Get on your knees”?? Hockey twt today… 👀

Hockey Whore @whorckey69
Wait am I seeing this right? The chat history starts in 2011???

#1 Shane fan @holyholly
TWENTY FUCKING ELEVEN?

metrooos @hockleberry
guys I think we might have to lock the fuck in????? #FindBostonLily

Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @rozy81
He was a boring. She was a girl. Can I make it any more obvious?

ilya rozanov only fans @hockeyh8r
yes please king 🙏

Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @rozy81
Mystery girl is in coma somewhere from having to hear about Montreal.

ilya rozanov only fans @hockeyh8r
oh no, thoughts and prayers 🤣

Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @rozy81
No more thoughts. Stop thinking of her. Is terminal. Bye bye.

#1 Shane fan @holyholly
Rozanov is such a fucking asshole. i’m doubling down #FindBostonLily

shane holeander @iEatHollanov
His dad just died cut him some slack, he probably doesn’t have many people to talk to rn.

Hayden Pike’s 5th Child @heydenpike
So many players dialling in to support #FindBostonLily and then there’s Rozanov...

NHL Updates @NHLUpdates
Montreal captain Shane Hollander begs for information about a mysterious “Boston Lily” who he’s been secretly dating for six years, sparking a viral movement to reunite the pair. Full story below.

laila @puckplays
what in the cinderella AU…

Pep n Squeak @pepnsqueak
Don’t know anything abt hockey but maybe Lily doesn’t want to be found??

laila @puckplays
liked by Ilya Rozanov??? what is going ON!

shane holeander @iEatHollanov
Hear me out…

#1 Shane fan @holyholly
Oh I wonder what iEatHollanov could POSSIBLY have to say 🙄

laila @puckplays
i mean… the Lily to Ilya pipeline… I want to believe…

Lily

Shane
I had another memory today. We woke up together. Your arm was around my waist. I could feel your lips against the back of my neck. Why is it that when I think of you it’s not your name, or your house, or your face? Why is it that when I think of you it’s to remember being held?

Message undelivered.

Shane
I can’t have been the only one, right? You feel this too? 

Message undelivered.

NHL Updates @NHLUpdates
Ilya Rozanov again facing criticism for aggressive play, despite Boston no longer being in the running for playoffs. Damning photo evidence reveals in-team fighting, plummet from grace? Full story below.

Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @rozy81
Was not plummet. Was swan dive.

Hockey Whore @whorckey69
this you?

[image attached: Ilya face down on a park bench, still holding a beer]

Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @rozy81
Yes i dove like swan to get there.

Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @rozy81
At least I am not stalking nice Boston lady on the internet?

laila @puckplays
hollander catching rozanov’s strays even off the ice 😩

Musketeers

Hayd
How goes the search?

Shane
Lily definitely used to come over to my apartment.
Asked the neighbours and they said they heard us sometimes.
Which is… pretty mortifying.
But all my Uber receipts in Boston are to hotels.
Except one address out west.
But only once and I wasn’t there for very long so that’s probably not her.
Might be losing my mind.

JJ
At least you’ll never be crazier than Rozanov.

Shane
Why, what happened?

JJ
Same shit as always.
Got any more memories of your girl?

Shane
Yeah, cigarettes.

Hayd
Lily was a smoker?

Shane
No idea. I just remember I feel REALLY strongly about the cigarettes.
And also maybe vodka?

JJ
Damn were you dating a truck driver??
Why don’t you tell us any good memories anymore?

Shane
Well they got a fair bit more explicit.

JJ
SPILL!
(politely)
This is a safe space and whatever.
And who knows maybe it’ll help us find her!

Shane
Fine.
Fuck.
Be cool.
I think she maybe used to, like, possibly not always be the one… receiving?

JJ
🎉✊🙏💪🥳🥵🥵🥵
HELL YEAH CAPITAINE THAT’S NASTY
NO WONDER YOURE IN LOVE
LILYYYY

Hayd
Hang on asking Jackie something.

JJ
Giving this girl the biggest high five when we finally meet her.
Man I hope she has sisters.

Hayd
Jackie says she’ll show me tonight???

JJ
Well that’s one way to stop having kids 🤣🤣

Hayd
WHAT????

Lily

Shane
I miss you so much. Sometimes I can’t breathe.

Message undelivered.

Shane Hollander ☑️ @ShaneHollanderOfficial
Today marks two months since my injury and one month since I began the search for someone I care for very deeply. Every day brings new memories, and I’m confident I’ll make a full recovery. Thank you to everyone who has helped so far. #FindBostonLily

#1 Shane fan @holyholly
#BostonLily your man loves you so much! Please let him know you’re still alive!

Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @rozy81
If I lose car keys I simply drive different car. Forget old car. Old car sad and cannot take you places. Find new better car #findnewbettercar

Hockey Whore @whorckey69
Is this the Russian version of #inspo?

Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @rozy81
sure whatever.

#1 Shane fan @holyholly
Rozanov is vagueposting again 🙄

Musketeers

Shane
I found something.

Hayd
A Lily something?

Shane
I think so, yeah.
I’m kind of freaking out.
[image attached: a single unadorned gold ring]

JJ
IS THAT WHAT I THINK IT IS????

Shane
I think I need a drink.

Lily

Shane
[Voice message. Transcript: I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you]

Message undelivered.

Shane Hollander ☑️ @ShaneHollanderOfficial
going to die alone but it’s cool.

laila @puckplays
?????

#1 Shane fan @holyholly
We WILL #FindBostonLily! Don’t give up hope!!

Shane Hollander ☑️ @ShaneHollanderOfficial
lily you have bad taste in drinks vdodka is so so bad .

Shane Hollander ☑️ @ShaneHollanderOfficial
“standard” is such a stupid way of measuring alcojol.

metrooos @hockleberry
oh we DRUNK drunk.

Hunterly @admiraladmire
It’s literally grand final day you couldn’t wait to have this crash out tomorrow?

Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @rozy81
@haydenpikeNHL look after your captain better.

Hayden Pike ☑️ @haydenpikeNHL
Knock it off Rozanov. Don’t do this today.

Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @rozy81
@YunaHollander your gucci commercial needs water and an advil.

Hayden Pike ☑️ @haydenpikeNHL
Fuck off, asshole. We’re with him. We’ll get through this without you starting shit thanks.

Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @rozy81
Get through? Something happened?

Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @rozy81
@haydenpikeNHL

Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @rozy81
@haydenpikeNHL

Hockey Whore @whorckey69
Drunk Shane Hollander? Guard dog Hayden Pike? Mother hen Ilya Rozanov? Is something happening?

laila @puckplays
guys what if something happened to Lily…

laila @puckplays
this feels really bad...

Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @rozy81
@ShaneHollanderOfficial your fans are worried about you. Is ruining game day. Say you are well.

Shane Hollander ☑️ @ShaneHollanderOfficial
Not well. In love. 

Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @rozy81
You are not in love. Boston Lily is not good for you. This is concussion talking.

Shane Hollander ☑️ @ShaneHollanderOfficial
Found this today.

[image attached: a single unadorned gold ring]

#1 Shane fan @holyholly
😳😳😳😳😳 IS THAT A WEDDING RING?!

#1 Shane fan @holyholly
#BostonLily he was going to propose!!

Hockey Whore @whorckey69
There’s only one ring. Man’s size. What if he already proposed and she bailed??

#1 Shane fan @holyholly
Ooooh that explains the crashout…

Leo @shaydentruther
I mean… There’s at least one other reason to have a wedding ring for a guy…

Rose Landry ☑️ @rosieredreal
Good to be back in Canada 🦋 Just wrapped shooting for #X-Squad, looking forward to some wine and watching the game from bed! What’s been happening while I was gone?

Hockey Whore @whorckey69
Oh boy…

Rose 🌹

Rose 🌹
SHANE
ANSWER YOUR PHONE
CALL ME
I HAVE SOME INFORMATION THAT MIGHT HELP YOU FIND LILY
Can’t believe I get to come out for you TWICE 🤣

NHL Updates @NHLUpdates
New York Admirals on track to win first cup in 30 years? Full story below.

#1 Shane fan @holyholly
Literally no one watching the game this year. We’re all out trying to #FindBostonLily

laila @puckplays
nothing fun ever happens in new york anyway.

laila @puckplays
well i’ll be god damned.

Lily

Lily
Shane.
Please answer phone.
Are you home?

NHL Updates @NHLUpdates
Scott Hunter comes out as first openly gay NHL player, kissing mystery man on the ice after huge victory over San Francisco last night. Full story below.

Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @rozy81
@haydenpikeNHL where are you

Hayden Pike ☑️ @haydenpikeNHL
Go to hell.

Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @rozy81
Twitter where is Montreal captain and worst left wing in league?

laila @puckplays
why on earth is this happening today, the gayest of public holidays?

Bost On Me @joebean
Spotted in Ottowa yesterday morning boss 🫡 according to @NHLSightings

shane holeander @iEatHollanov
YES GO GET YOUR MAN~

Lily

Lily
Send me your address.
I am coming to you.

Musketeers

JJ
Hayden are you still with cap?

Hayd
Yeah he’s asleep.
Rose called last night and he stared at a wall for a few hours and then passed out.

JJ
Wait so he missed Hunter’s kiss???

Hayd
Don’t think it’s a priority for him rn.

JJ
Valid.
Anyway lock your doors.
Apparently Rozanov is asking twitter how to find you.

Hayd
This fucking asshole jesus christ.
Wait I think Shane’s up.

JJ
Morning buddy!

Hayd
You free for a call?
Shane says he wants to tell us something.
Sounds serious.

JJ
For my boys? Always.

Hayden Pike ☑️ @haydenpikeNHL
🌈Congratulations @ScottHunterNY! Great win and a big first step for inclusion and visibility in the NHL. I support all LGBTQIA+ players and fans ❤️

Jean-Jacques ☑️ @doublejayreal
Ignore the hate, love always wins! @ScottHunterNY @NewYorkAdmirals 

Jackie Pike @jackieeee35
Hockey can be so divisive. Thrilled to see a step toward unity and love 🌈❤️

Musketeers

JJ
Dude did you tell Jackie??

Hayd
I swear to god i didn’t.
Haven’t talked to her at all since the game.
But she just texted to say “yay Shane”
??????

JJ
Your wife scares me…
But also yay Shane!
Love you bro 🌈🌈🌈
Love you more if you give Rose my number 🌈🌈🌈
Oh I just realised the ring you found might be one you planned on GIVING to someone!

Hayd
Oh man, so the first time Boston Lily sees it is when it's all over the internet, damn.
Well, she's earned the heart attack.
He*

JJ
Hey we should post something from Shane’s account if he’s still staring at the wall.
About Hunter.
People are already starting to comment.

Hayd
Oh shit, good idea.
I’ll get his phone.

JJ
Just do a bunch of emojis or something.
He can do a proper one when he’s not hungover.

Hayd
THERE ARE TEXTS FROM LILY ON HERE?????

Lily

Shane
This better not be a joke or I will put you in the ground myself dude.

Lily
Who is this?
This is not my Shane

Shane
This is Hayden Pike.
“My Shane” 😡
You’ve got a lot of fucking nerve man.

Lily
You know I am a man?

Shane
Just found out.

Lily
Put Hollander on.
He is okay?

Shane
No he’s not fucking okay you had this number blocked for two months!
He thought you were dead!
He hasn’t eaten a carb in weeks.
Do you have any fuckign idea how scary that is for the rest of us???

Lily
Pike.
I’m almost in Ottawa.
Send address.

Shane
Not a fucking chance.

Lily
SEND ADDRESS

Shane
Give me one good reason???

Lily
I love him.

Shane
Yeah? You’re not special.

Lily
[Voice message. Transcript: The summer before rookie season I meet beautiful boy with freckles, and it means nothing, yes? Because he is not out and I am not out and NHL is NHL and Russia is Russia. And we try to quit. Over and over we try. It is very dangerous, you understand? You recognise my voice, yes? You know why he cannot love me. You know why I cannot love him. And yet it happens anyway. We are very irresponsible and stupid. And he calls me asshole but he is saying that he loves me, and I call him boring but I am saying that I love him too. But we do not say it out loud and I am thinking this is just infat… infatuat… blyat, that it is not real for him. Not like it is for me, yes? And then worst defense in NHL does not protect him and he gets concussion and he does not remember me. Seven years and he does not know me. This feels like… This feels like… It does not matter. And so I delete our messages and I block his number and I let him find someone else he can be with instead. Except he loves me anyway and he tells internet he has wedding ring for me. And then big stupid dinosaur kisses his boyfriend on my television and I am calling my Shane but he is not picking up, and I am thinking we can be together after all. It is five hour drive to Montreal and still he does not pick up. He is not at apartment. He is drinking and he is sad. It is two hour drive to Ottawa and Hayden Pike answers phone instead of Jane and tells me it is not special to love Shane Hollander, when it is the only special thing I have ever done. So please. Let me see him. Let me love him. I will not disappear again. Tell me where moy lyubov is.]

Shane
[Location shared]

NHL Updates @NHLUpdates
Six months since the historic on-ice kiss between New York’s Scott Hunter and his bartender boyfriend, the captain opens up about life as the first queer player in the league. Full story below.

Maria V @mariavillanueva
Lol @KipGradyNY “bartender boyfriend” they’ll learn your name one day~

Smoothie Boyfriend @KipGradyNY
Oh cool, about time for a name change. @ScottHunterNY how’s it feel to be dating (checks notes) some dude?

Scott Hunter ☑️ @ScottHunterNY
Like I’m the luckiest man alive 🫐🍌😍

Maria V @mariavillanueva
As long as he knows what name to scream in bed I guess 😌😌

Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @rozy81
Dementia is very serious. I am donating $1000 to #AlzheimersAwareness in loving memory of dinosaur who forgot boyfriend’s name 🙏😔

Scott Hunter ☑️ @ScottHunterNY
😒

Ilya Rozanov ☑️ @rozy81
Sometimes I still hear his voice.

NHL Enthusiast @hockey4life
Wait I just remembered about that girl we spent a month looking for. Totally forgot about that what with the Scott Hunter of it all. @ShaneHollanderOfficial did we ever #FindBostonLily?

Shane Hollander ☑️ @ShaneHollanderOfficial
Yes 🥰 We’re getting married in summer 💍

metrooos @hockleberry
guys we might be in the timeline ever?

#1 Shane fan @holyholly
LOVE WINS!!!

shane holeander @iEatHollanov
Liked by Ilya Rozanov??? HEAR ME OUT 👀