cyrenae



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  1. Public Bookmark *

    Growing Sideways by

    Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid  

    20 May 2026

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    Summary

    “Is just the new routine, okay?” Ilya pleaded, his voice breaking. “The pills were working and now there is more stress so I just need to get used to it and will be fixed, okay?”

    “How bad is it?”

    “Shane, please.”

    “Ilya, you promised no more secrets, no more hiding. How bad?”

    He covered his face in his palms, his elbows resting on his knees, and took in a shuddered breath. “...bad.”

     

    OR

     

    After Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander get married, Ilya discovers that his depression won't magically disappear just because he finally has love and a real family. He gets to live and work with Shane full time now that they are on the Centaurs, but it's becomingly increasingly difficult to hide his deteriorating mental health from his husband. He's haunted by dreams of his mother and the fear that his depression and the hockey world's eruption about their relationship is ruining Shane's life. He has to swallow his pride and begin taking SSRIs, navigate the side effects of medicating his depression, and learn to accept love and support from those he loves most. Will the shame eat him alive or can he finally learn that he's worthy of love even at his lowest?

     

    Language:
    English
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    19/21
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    Bookmarked by cyrenae

    01 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

    courage [it couldn't come at a worse time] by

    Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid  

    22 Feb 2026

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    Summary

    "Why are you not scared?"

    "I am scared," Ilya admits. "I just am tired. Of hiding me. Of hiding you. Of hiding how much I love you. I want to go to the rink— how do you say it? Authenti."

    "Authentically," Shane supplies, automatically.

    "Yes. Authentically. I want to go to the rink authentically, as me," Ilya confirms.

    Ilya looks at Shane, pauses until Shane meets his eyes. "I want to say: I, Ilya Rozanov, love a man, and that man's name is Shane Hollander."

     

    -

    Or, sometimes it takes a little more time, and some courage, to be with the one you love.

    Language:
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    Bookmarked by cyrenae

    07 Apr 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Haunting Your City by

    Fandoms: Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)  

    26 Feb 2026

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    Summary

    “What is there to talk about?”

    “What’s there to talk about?!” Hollander scoffed, shaking his head. “You’re playing for my fucking team!”

    “I know.”

    “Why did you have to go and get traded?! You realise we’re going to have to see each other every day from now on, and play together, and-”

    “Yes,” Ilya interrupted. He didn’t want to know how long Hollander’s list was. “I know.”

    Hollander took a deep breath. “Okay, listen,” he said. “Just so we’re clear - we don’t know each other outside of playing against each other, right?”

    “Right.”

    “And we can’t- can’t hook up anymore.”

    ~

    OR: Ilya gets traded to Montreal in October 2014. He's lonely, and angry, and he misses Boston. He doesn't know if it helps that Hollander is there or not.

    title from Buckle by Florence and the Machine

    Language:
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    30/30
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    Bookmarked by cyrenae

    17 Mar 2026