Chapter Text
It all started with a simple dare. A harmless one, or so Nakamura thought. The teenager just started freshman year in this school 6 months ago and he’s already sure he'll be landing in social outcast territory until graduation. Well, err… I mean he already did, but he expected to be the kind that grows mushrooms on his hair while staring out the window at the back of the classroom. Eyes and face ever stoic, deep in thought, the ramblings of a teacher barely acknowledged in scatter-brained notes and doodles.
But no…
This was much worse.
He risks social pariah status! The laughing stock, the perpetually picked on, the ‘weird’ kid.
Though, Nakamura thinks, “I am weird.” A matter-of-fact statement, a sniffle in his voice and a scowl on his face, laying his head on tucked knees, small and unguarded in the gym storage room. The same place where he, Kawamura, and Hirose got stuck. Brooms and gym mats are better companions than people, he thinks, they don’t look down on a weirdo like him.
“I am weird.”
He asserts, a tear falls from a still face, thinking, brooding, regretting.
“Why did I do that?”
—
As with many hijinks that Nakamura, shy and reserved as he is, somehow gets into, a certain brown-haired classmate is the focal point. His lovely, cute, handsome, absolutely adorable Hirose-kun! Those eyes are crystalline ambers, and to this day, he is a blushing mess when the extroverted boy approaches him.
But it’s getting better! They're officially friends, y'know? You’ll never know when the next step after that comes~
First, he stops being a shy basket case, grows into a 6-foot handsome man, becomes a suave suitor to his adorable Hirose, who blushes as he stares up at his tall self and says yes, then finally, finally… they share a coffee, then he can change Hirose’s contact name to something sickeningly sweet, oh! And who can forget, he romantically leans closer to wipe crumbs off Hirose’s face and their faces couldn’t help but get closer until—
“Oi, Nakamura, are you paying attention? The bottle landed on you!” Takeuchi calls, nearly almost knocking on Nakamura’s dazed head to wake him up. He looks a mix between amused and constipated.
“Don't be rude, man!” Hirose tells his rowdy friend, apologizing to Nakamura on his behalf.
Nakamura blinks.
Oh, right!
He blushes profusely and apologizes. He completely forgot he joined the class in this stupid game just because Hirose told him it could be fun. He honestly didn’t think it would land on him anytime soon, and—
“He’s spacing out again,” Takeuchi deadpans before getting a light smack on the back of his head.
“Let a guy be overwhelmed, dude!” Hirose defends once again before settling an arm around Takeuchi’s shoulder.
Nakamura grumbles but conspicuously buries his irritation. Right, the stupid bottle.
“S—sorry, Takeuchi. I didn't notice.”
“Eh, no worries! Took you long enough, was wondering if you had brain damage or something,” Takeuchi smirks before settling down once and for all, sitting in his spot alongside his friend group with Hirose.
Kawamura coughs meekly and stutters, her twintails veering off to the side as she hurriedly looks at the man next to her, “S—so, Nakamura, truth or dare?”
And again, Nakamura genuinely didn't think this through. Now that he is in the hot seat, what does he pick?!
Well, the moment they ask about a crush when he says truth, he is done for. He is moving to the rice fields in rural Japan and becoming a celibate daoist if that happens. Hirose would become a distant memory, tainted by his own stupidity for picking dumbly.
Logically then…
“Dare!”
The class breaks out in hushed whispers, some surprised a meek boy was even capable of a dare. Hirose approaches him with a chuckle, having similar sentiments. Nakamura gulps, thinking the same thing.
Oomori is the one to tell him his dare, those glasses hiding the evil intent of the class’ agreed dare.
“Nakamura, I dare you to wait for the first person to pass outside the classroom and confess to them!”
Nakamura shatters in all but the most comedic sense, A.K.A literally. He wishes he could fall like broken glass into the floor right now.
“WHAT?!” He stammers, the red blooms from his cheeks to his entire face. The class laughs at that, much to his dismay. Before he could fully sink into the despair of a curled fetal position, his angel smiles at him.
“You can reject the dare if you are uncomfortable, Nakamura,” Hirose smiles at him with a glow only a saint could have. No wonder this was the love of his life, though that certainly doesn’t help his redness as the shorter boy soothes the anxious mess that is Nakamura Okuto.
Ba—dump! Ba—dump!
How the hell is he supposed to reject that now and make a fool of himself in front of his crush?! He would be so lame if he rejected a dare after asking for one…
With a heavy heart, mostly brought by self-inflicted peer pressure, he relents with a sigh, “I—I’ll do it.”
The class cheers. The next thing he knows, he's jittering outside the classroom door, ignoring the gaggle of classmates hounding him with phones like paparazzi, waiting for some hapless guy or girl to be the victim of Nakamura’s confession.
He looks side-to-side, hoping no one actually passes by. Why did he agree to this again? (Followed by immediate resignation when he looks by the window to see Hirose giving him a smile and thumbs up.)
And there he was, the boy he needed to make a pretend confession to. They never specified it had to be a girl, so a boy it was. It was easier anyways to do it this way. The boys would find it funny and crude, and the girls would shout and think about the Boys' Love manga. Either way, it’s entertainment. They won’t suspect his gayness at all.
A joke or a book genre, that’s all there is to it.
Here goes nothing…
Nakamura catches a deep breath and looks as the boy passes by. About the same height as him, caramel skin, dark brown hair, hazelnut eyes, and embodying something… Earthy. Like you could trust him, sturdy, steadfast. Honestly, if not compared to Hirose's unbridled beauty, he finds the guy handsome.
Before he could psychoanalyze the boy further, he coughs meekly and with the tiniest steps, taps the boy’s shoulder. Thankfully, that's all it takes for the boy to notice him, as he turns around to face him.
His hair is slicked back, no bangs covering his forehead. He has thick eyebrows, unsurprisingly dark brown, double eyelids blinking in wonder of this fruitcake that just stopped him. A hand is gripping a string, supporting the small guitar case he carries, one Nakamura only just noticed.
“Can I help you?” The boy asks, creasing his forehead. The grip on the string turns tighter.
Well… Here goes nothing.
“C—can I ask, what's your name?” Nakamura looks down, a hand rubbing his opposite elbow as support.
“Ah…” The fellow looks around, empty halls and seemingly empty classrooms. Then, he points to himself confused, “Me?”
“Y—yes! I just saw you pass by and wanted to ask.”
“Yamaguchi Yuito,” the boy still looks around, wary and suspicious. Nakamura wonders what got his guard up so high.
“N—nice to meet you, Yamaguchi-kun!” Nakamura bows and looks back at him with a blush. He’s nervous, clearly this guy is not a softie like Hirose.
“Why did you stop me?” Yamaguchi asks. Nakamura could tell that beyond the polite tone, the other boy is agitated for some reason.
Crap, he’s doing horribly, isn’t he?
“I—I just wanted to ask you for your…” Nakamura flails, nervous and stammering.
Just… Go for it, Nakamura!
“Y—your number! Yeah, your number!” He admits, face dropping at the interaction. Crap, this man is gonna think he’s a total freak! How the hell is he still alive?
“Huh?”
Oh god, he’s gonna need a reason. What reason can he give that isn't just telling this man that he’s doing this for a dare because he’s scared his crush will think he’s lame if he doesn’t do it?
Oddly specific, but it's the truth!
Instead, he stammers and blushes, “It's just… You're very…” He chokes on his words, “You're very handsome and you look cool! I—I’d like to maybe get to know you…” Nakamura stares straight back to the startled Yamaguchi, and here is where Nakamura realizes he inadvertently stepped closer while saying those words.
He pales then blushes harder, “Or not! You can just forget this ever happened!” He wanted to get a paper bag and hide his face from everyone forever, and Hirose just has to accept him as paper bag man someday.
Yamaguchi stares, stunned.
Silence.
…
…
…
God, this is killing Nakamura.
He is all but ready to just enter the classroom again, until Yamaguchi takes his arm with a blush.
“You mean that? Y—you’re not bad yourself!” The boy turns from wary to excitable, like a kicked puppy getting a treat. Nakamura quickly gets a paper slip into his hand, without him even noticing the brevity of this interaction. Especially when Yamaguchi looks at him with bated breath and shy smile.
Wait, what?
That was not supposed to happen. Whoever he confessed to was supposed to be weirded out and run away from him, and now a handsome boy is blushing and looking at him hopefully.
“W—wait, does that mean—”
Is he also…
The train of thought dies as the squeals of schoolgirls permeate the halls. Some snickering schoolboys followed. Shoot, cover blown, and the class full of students recording the moment is put into full display. Nakamura thinks naively, with good intentions.
Yamaguchi is not as enthused, in fact he was horrified. In a fit of panic, the hand on Nakamura’s arm turned from hold to grip. He glares at Nakamura.
“You fucker! You lied to me! You think this is a joke?” He stares at the classroom observing them and in a fit of rage, ungrips Nakamura, and punches him.
Hard.
So much so, Nakamura tumbles to the ground.
Laughter ceases, the audience could only gawk in shock. Even Hirose couldn't move.
Nakamura grips his cheek, shaking. Fingers scatter all over the swollen side of his face, each on trembling, blood leaking from his nose into the crevices between his fingers and knuckle. It hurts, but if anything, it's the shock that paralyzes him.
He never got punched before, much less one so strong he falls to the ground, bleeding. The sting didn't stop, yet his burning face still looked at the heaving Yamaguchi in front of him.
Red—faced, scowling, eyes burning with vitriol and betrayal. A tear seemingly slips off his dark irises, damp cheeks facing ones tainted viscous red.
“You're part of those assholes, huh? Think it's funny, you can make a joke out of me?”
“W—what do you mean?”
The brown boy shouts, “DONT PLAY COY! You have video evidence now, huh? What? Gonna give it to those jerks in 2-2? You wanna make my life hell?”
Nakamura could barely recover as the boy grips his collar, trembling as braces a beating. He didn’t have any of this in mind when going to school today, he doesn't understand. Why is Yamaguchi so angry?
Hirose steps up, “Don’t hurt him!”
Yamaguchi glares at the boy with a fiery hatred that terrifies Nakamura. But this is Hirose, he’d rather be beaten to a pulp than let his crush get hurt. He steps in front, making sure no one else gets involved.
The panicking enraged boy laughs, “Fucking cowards, both of you! And you have the gall to call someone like me a wimp!” He laughs hysterically and glares, “Delete those videos now.”
“I—”
“No! We’re gonna report you and we need the videos as evidence!” Hirose glares back at the older boy, unafraid and heated.
Honestly, it was kinda, and by kinda, I mean super, duper hot— Wait, Nakamura now is not the time to be gay.
“Delete those now or I will beat the shit out of you—”
“I’ll ask them not to report you.”
Both Hirose and Yamaguchi still, Nakamura in between them, still holding his swollen face. H-he thinks he understands now, and oh god, does he understand.
“But Nakamura, he made your nose bleed!” Hirose retorts.
“It's all a misunderstanding. I'm s-sorry Yamaguchi,” Nakamura bows to their rowdy senior, surprising his entire class, even Yamaguchi himself. “We didn’t mean to do this to make fun of you. I—it’s a dare, I would’ve confessed to anyone who passed by.”
Yamaguchi glares at him, forehead creasing with a scowl, a dog ready to pounce and bite after it's been kicked another time. But then he observes Nakamura, really does, the deep bow, the eyes holding such deep sincerity, and a remorse that could be felt despite the ugly swelling on the left side of his face. Yamaguchi couldn't deny the truth, this boy has an honest face.
Still…
A wary glare is given to his class and Hirose, “I’ll take your word for it, but don’t mess with me again. And if anything that happened today gets out, I'm taking you down with me.”
The ominous warning makes his entire class back down, taking several steps away from the window. Hirose, still holding onto Nakamura’s back, backs up as well.
Nakamura doesn’t, he lends out a hand. Because maybe… just maybe…
Yamaguchi slaps his hand down, “Don't flatter me with that niceness. I don't like you, don't talk to me ever again.”
And just like that, the boy left, leaving a commotion that would surely echo in the mind of Nakamura’s class ‘til graduation.
—
And this is where we return to Nakamura, in the gym storage room, a hand hiding his swollen cheek. The blood has mostly subsided, but he didn't wash his hands before bolting it here, so he could do nothing about the crusty dryness of his hands, or the fleeting specks of red seeping onto his shedding flesh. It hurts, and he feels gross, and he wants to go home, be with Icchan, and apply first aid to himself.
But he can’t, he's a wimp. He could never cut school, not fully anyways, considering he’s hiding while Otogori-sensei is teaching at the moment.
But the moment continues sticking out to him.
That Yamaguchi guy…
“H-he’s gay too.”
He's sure of it, all his words, how he acts, it's too eerily familiar to the closeted man. And his heart continues languishing in depths remembering.
‘You think you can make a joke out of me?’
W-was he out? He has to be, why would he be so defensive if he wasn’t? But then Nakamura remembers the vitriol, the supposed betrayal, that fleeting spark of understanding. Of a feeling only kindred spirits could truly share.
“Is he being bullied?” He asks no one but himself, because logically, the implications were there. He wouldn't call himself a pessimist, but Iike Icchan, Yamaguchi wouldn't have reacted that way if he didn’t feel like he needed it to survive.
Still, in the dark room only lit by faint sunlight from a thin, iron-barred window, no one could tell him the truth.
“Maybe I should've picked true,” he wonders.
“If they ask about my crush, then I could lie. Then, I wouldn't have to act like Yamaguchi,” He looks down.
He really was a weird kid, who would like someone like him? Heck, if people knew then, he’d just… rather disappear.
“It's probably easier… If someone handsome like him could suffer, how would an average boy like me compare…”
The door rustles, startling the turtling teenager. He had half a mind to stand up straight and appear better than he was, but all his energy was drained at this point. Sue him for not even looking up as the light from the gym seeps into his otherwise dim surroundings.
“Nakamura! There you are!” The familiar, still oh-so soothing voice manages to calm his nerves.
God, he's so pathetic.
He doesn't move away from his knees, hugging them still. Hirose approaches, a bottle of ice cold water in one hand and a first aid kit in the other. He lifts up Nakamura’s face, and winces.
“That mean senior of ours didn't hold back,” Hirose softly hands him the water bottle after wrapping it in a rag. “This should help with the swelling, thankfully, I'm the nurse’s aid.”
“Thank you, Hirose…”
“Don’t be, it was the class’ fault. Who would've expected that mean senior to do such a thing over a harmless dare. I'm just glad I found you!” Hirose takes a gauze, some ointment and alcohol. It stings, but Nakamura lets him clean the wound without much trouble.
In any other situation, Nakamura would have found his injury worth it when Hirose gets to care and touch his face so gently. But Nakamura’s mind remains clouded, despite the sun shining behind them.
Harmless?
‘You wanna make my life hell?’
“I don't think Yamaguchi-kun thought it was harmless,” He blurts out, he didn't even think much of defending the other.
Hirose tilts his head, adjusting Nakamura’s hold on the ice water towards the most affected area, also as a way to let him treat his face easier. What a sight, Nakamura thinks. Hirose basically on top of him, holding his face, staring at him intently as he treats each wound with such care that a mother with a newly born baby would be put to shame.
The cream soothes the pain, the ice reduces the swelling, hell even that gross feeling he had, Hirose made sure to clean his bloodstained hand.
Finally, Hirose asks, “Why do you think so?”
Nakamura stiffens, something Hirose notices as he asks him to relax and not overthink his question. The younger boy continues to treat him like something so fragile and valuable as Nakamura thinks and thinks.
Yamaguchi this, Yamaguchi that, and Nakamura realizes:
“Two boys liking each other… if those videos spread, both of us could be harmed.”
It really was just that, huh? The closet feels safer now that he's seen what splinters can do. Will no one really like him? He asks himself, feeling at the softness Hirose affords him. Will he still be this gentle if he knows he’s gay, that he’s weird? Weirder than liking octopi, so weird he is a total mess constantly imagining Hirose living a happy life with him.
‘I’m a weird kid'
Hirose responds softly, “Well, I’ll tell the class not to spread them to keep you safe. Besides, it's just a dare right?”
‘It is not, I—I’m ga—’
“Yeah, j-just a dare,” Nakamura hopes he isn't obvious, and he’s glad the swelling obfuscates dark skies in plain sight.
‘I’m alone’
Hirose stands, done with his handiwork. He offers a hand, “Come on, Nakamura! Let's go back to class, Otogori-sensei is worried about you!”
Nakamura, despite the warmth of his beloved’s hand, turns his head down.
“I—I need some time to think still, and I'm a bit woozy. Tell sensei I'm gonna go to the clinic, you can go now Hirose. T-thank you,” Nakamura offers a smile, wider than usual, a bit ugly from lack of practice in faking them.
“But—”
Nakamura pleads, “Please.”
A long, pregnant silence emerges between the two boys. A hopeful wide-eyed boy standing over the stoic weird kid, whose eyes are anything but at the moment.
Hirose frowns but sighs, “Text me if you reach the clinic. I’ll check on you before going home, okay?”
Nakamura nods, then leans down once more. The sound of a creaking door closing brings him a worrying amount of relief.
Without even realizing, he falls asleep right there, with no one around, holding in his pocket a sliver of paper that he still kept onto despite the circumstances.
—
Extra:
Yamaguchi Yuito
Hi
this is Nakamura Okuto
the junior who confessed and you punched
I want to talk
clear things up
Please
I'll pay for ur lunch!
Delivered 3:36 PM
I have expensive tastes
Sent 12:51 AM