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With Teddie’s minuscule knowledge of seasons and weather, he was able to conclude that it would start snowing sometime soon. Yosuke’s parents have been urging him to get some warmer clothes, heck, even going as far as to offer him some yen to spend on winter garments. Truthfully, Teddie had to agree that his white button-up, while being (in his eyes) quite voguish, was far too thin for the coming winter. Mr. Hanamura has probably already caught Teddie practically sprinting home from Junes after his shift, vulnerable to the unbearably harsh wind.
He could just use his bear-mascot suit, now that he thought about it, but he sorta liked the idea of getting more clothes. It made living in the human world feel permanent. But he preferred not to use his guardians’ money.
And even though he knew it probably would be… something’s been itching in the back of his mind. Something that would constantly follow him around.
Today wasn’t really any warmer in Inaba. Instead of rotting in Yosuke’s bedroom or spending a boring shift at Junes (alone, since the brunette he always worked with instead had something to complete with his dad. Something about "hol-e-day" prep... whatever that is), Teddie made the grand decision to visit Yasogami High once more; this time making sure to avoid Hanako-san at all costs. His last trips were a few months ago, a few in September for… well, funsies, and one in October for the Crossdressing Pageant… which ended with him getting both a stalker and making half of the student body despise him (the other half obsessed with him to the point of starting a petition to allow him admission into Yasogami. He loved the effort, but digressed.) Yeah, he definitely had mixed opinions about his time there.
The school's roof, however, was fortunately desolate, allowing Teddie to stay there without any chance of being harassed by a certain someone…
He also noticed how there seemed to be no green, musty fog affecting the school grounds yet. While it had only appeared a couple of days ago, right after they… escaped Heaven, it seems to be spreading at a rapid pace, so being able to enjoy the clearness of the atmosphere was certainly refreshing.
So he lay there on his back, head perched on the concrete lining of the roof, and stared at the soft and gentle sky. The slight shielding of the roof’s fencing did little to barricade the roof, so Teddie couldn’t help but shiver. The chilliness wasn’t terrible; oddly, it was almost comforting, in comparison to the stuffiness of the TV.
Another wisp passed him. Brr… no wonder the roof is so empty, Teddie assumed. So quiet.
Though there is one thing different from the silence of the Yasogami roof to the silence of the TV world: the subconscious presence of others. Out in the distance, the blonde could hear the passionate yelling of the soccer team’s coach, and just beyond there, some faraway voices of girls and boys alike, chatting on their way home after clubs. He couldn’t suppress a giggle, feeling as though he was a part of the, as Yosuke likes to describe it, “shitty” routine.
Sure, he was constantly yapped his ear off about how lucky he is for not having to go to school, but it didn’t stop the subtle feeling of separation he had grown from the rest of the Investigation Team. Unable to go and gossip behind the teachers’ backs, eat food together in the gym, flirt with girls, play sports… do anything a teen his age does on the daily.
Unbelonging.
He hears footsteps echo beyond him from the corner of his hearing. It was a rhythmic step, with an almost subconscious urgency under each stride. Teddie could tell who it was instantly.
“...Oh, hey Ted.”
…Heh, how could he not recognize his Sensei?
Teddie raised his head, a wide grin growing on his pink-flushed face (mainly from the weather). “Sensei!! What’re you doing here?”
Yu raised a brow, wincing at the temperature adjustment from inside the school to on the roof. Despite this, he smiled at the rose-adorned boy. “I should be asking you the same. You could get yourself banned for trespassing, you know.”
“How beary heartless! I’d let you know, the staff here love me!” Teddie waved his hand. “Plus, I already have the red light to visit Yasogami whenever I’d like. Yosuke-kun helped me fill out that stuff.”
“Wonder how long that took…” The gray-haired guy in front of him mumbled. Since Teddie wasn’t an official Japanese citizen… or really, an official human being at all, it was difficult for him to work professionally with others without the help of someone more qualified.
The only reason he could work as a mascot at Junes without a resume in the first place was because of his connection to Yosuke. Yu took his place sitting on Teddie’s left. “Also, it’s green light, not red light.”
“Huh?” The blonde contemplated, squinting his eyes as if in deep thought, before they started to sparkle with realization, as if he had a light-bulb moment. “... Ohhhh, I get it! Like the street lights, right? Green to go, red to stop?” Teddie's face lit up as Yu nodded in approval. Little acts like that helped him understand the world outside the TV.
As the wind picked up, Yu brushed the wisping hair out of his face, looking out towards nothing. That’s just how Sensei was in Teddie’s eyes: He could be so aware, yet so… ‘out of this world’? Or is that too endearing? “Usually, Chie would be up here…”
Teddie’s face fell for a split second, “...Oh, Sensei, were you looking for Chie-chan? I can help you find her!” He remarked, sitting up straight.
He knew he wasn’t actually bothering Yu; if anything, it was him interrupting Teddie right now. The only difference was that Teddie knew he loved being with Sensei. For Yu… he didn't have a clue. It was hard to tell when the wild card kept that straight of a face through every one of his conversations. He had nothing to hide. That’s how he was able to gain his persona without facing his shadow. But even still… it…
But then Yu shook his head, turning his attention to the other and giving a look of encouragement. “Well, we can barely hang out outside when we meet up at Junes,” he started, elbowing Teddie’s arm. “Let’s not let the opportunity go to waste.”
Teddie’s eyes widened ever so slightly, before he softened the tension (Which he didn’t even notice he had before) from his posture. “Alrighty…!” he said, fiddling awkwardly with his thumbs. There was a gentle silence that enveloped the space, foreign to Teddie. It was rare for him not to know what to say; he usually had some kind of light-hearted joke or quick response to keep some kind of noise. He supposed it had been a tough November.
“Speaking of Junes, how’s it been treating you?” Sensei finally asked, his face keeping the same transparency. But the more Teddie looked into his penetrating grey eyes, the more he recognized another emotion resting behind them, slowly coming out from its hard shell. It took a second for the blue-eyed boy to realize he was staring, leaning in ever so slightly. He quickly resets his position.
“E-eh, it’s been fun-! Working at Junes is awesome! I mean, sometimes the customers are mean and stuff, and I need Yosuke to step in for me…but that’s about it!” He gave a bright smile to the taller one.
“I like being helpful. I’m not the best at my job, and Yosuke calls me a pain in the ass, but it’s worth it. I’m always surrounded by people! Customers, fellow workers, the nice sample lady in the produce section, Mr. Hanamura, Yosuke-san… and even when they aren’t there, I’m still not alone. It’s really…”
A slightly harsher wind practically went through the pair’s skin, making Teddie flinch and lose his train of thought. Even still, a pang rippled through his chest, though he couldn’t pinpoint why.
“Uh huh…” Yu nodded in acknowledgement, unfazed facially, but still expressing his inquisitiveness with his raised shoulders. But he still seemed a bit… distant. It wasn’t like the TV-born boy could blame him, considering everything happening with… well… you-know-who.
Either way, he seemed to want Teddie to continue his ramble… it felt good to distract himself from that weird feeling in his chest.
“Though they could pay a teensy bit more… and when I say teensy, I mean a bunch…!” Teddie moved his fist to his cheek, creating a thoughtful silhouette. “Now that I think about it… I really need to start thinking of ways to make some more cash. Yosuke’s been blabbing about Chie and me using his card all the time, even though HE’S the one underpaying me! It’s absolutely un-bear-able! ”
“I don’t think Yosuke’s the one who pays you, Teddie.”
“That’s besides the point!”
A smile cracked on the gray-haired boy’s face, though he suppressed it from growing too much. Teddie sighed dramatically. “Help a bear out! Don’t you have some kinda high-paying job in town?”
Yu gave a knowing look, but still nodded, his stance opening. “I work at this daycare off the hill, north of here.” He pointed at the land mass ahead of them, obscured by the roof-access doors. “Pays well. If you ever need another way to make cash, it would be perfect for you. It’s got a great view of the town, too. You’d probably have fun; it’s just playing with the kids and talking to parents.”
“Heh, the kids at Junes already love me, so that should be a breeze for moi!” Teddie put a hand to his chest, sending a wink Yu’s way.
Yu's features softened, and he simply hummed in response. “There are tons of other things to do. Fold envelopes, translate stuff… but you can do those at home.”
The blonde snickered, holding a hand to his chin as if he was in deep thought. “Perfect… if I move my daily Topsicle to be every OTHER day– I know, sacrifices must be made– I could make even more money for them…”
A snicker rang out of Yu’s lips. “This is new,” he started. “You’re never this determined to do something... unless it's training, that is. And you're definitely not passionate about work.” He crossed his leg, raising his chin. “Any other reason you need the money?”
Teddie’s face, after a second or so to process the question, felt a weird embarrassment rise from his chest into his face, although… it didn’t feel like it was coming from a good place. He chuckles awkwardly. “Aha, don’t worry about it, Sensei!”
“Now it just sounds like something illegal. It’s my duty as leader to make sure all my investigation team members are in line.” Yu leaned forward, brow still raised, giving an expression of faux accusation. This time, Teddie’s laugh was more natural. Teddie shifted his focus away from his friend, looking out into the puffy clouds.
“Well... When all of this is done, I really wanna pay Yosuke’s family back. They’ve treated me so incredibly well… besides Yosuke sometimes, but I can forgive him.” He giggled, but continued. “I’d feel bad if I didn’t.”
It was true, he did owe the Hanmuras everything. Even though he didn’t have much to give in return, Teddie wanted to do something to repay their generosity. I mean, it didn’t take a Naoto level of smarts to understand that having another person in a house is… difficult to say the least. So to have the opportunity to live (to an extent) normally with them really meant the world to him.
With Teddie’s peripheral vision, he could tell Yu was staring at him. He moved to meet the gray-eyed gaze of his friend as the other opened his mouth. “Then what?”
Teddie cocked his head to the side. “Huh?”
“What do you plan to do next?”
Blue eyes blinked in confusion. “Plan… next?”
Yu’s eyes didn’t waver, still carrying the softness from earlier. “When we finish the case, what are you going to do?”
…Oh. Huh.
A slight dryness rose into Teddie’s throat, only pressured by the reflections of himself in Yu’s eyes. It was almost like a game, the two staring into each other's eyes as if they were waiting for the other to crack. Teddie didn’t stop looking. “I… I mean… I really only have two options, don’t I?”
The other pressed his lips into a line. There was a clear pattern engrossed in both of their minds, the sense of deja vu that came from every conversation about Teddie’s future in the real world. “I know… you’ve already said- or, well, a-agreed. But… I mean…”
Teddie didn’t mean to stutter, but he himself didn’t realize how much this was pestering him on the inside. In a way, he almost felt bad for being so uncertain of what he wants. Yu continued to stare, daring Teddie to look away.
Teddie laughed in his head. Perhaps that was his strategy after all? Haha, classic Sensei.
“I guess it still feels wrong… Ah! Not as in the Investigation Team or you are wrong- you’re incredible-” the blonde boy’s cheeks grow rosy. “But… are you 100% sure I can stay? I don’t want to be…”
Teddie caught himself, and before Yu could open his mouth, he panickly interjected. “Sorry, it’s stupid- I mean, it’d be beary bad if I kept annoying you with the same question, just for the same response, huh?”
Thinking one of his bear puns could save him, Teddie beamed. But Yu, as perceptive as he was, had his face shift into a downturned frown.
Was he… disappointed?
Teddie’s shoulders slumped down. No matter what he tried, Sensei would be able to fill in the gaps and know exactly what he was thinking. Use the exact words the blonde would if he weren’t so afraid to say it.
Actually, better thought: What was Teddie so afraid of? His shame meter was practically zero 24/7, and he seldom cared when other Investigation Team members ridiculed him, like Yukiko, Yosuke, or Naoto. But… actually talking about this- whatever this was- especially with the person Teddie cares about the most… was terrifying.
Maybe it was the lack of certainty that really made him hate himself.
…That thought slipped through his mind unintentionally.
“Teddie…”
The named waved his hand. “Really, it’s alright!”
“Teddie.”
“It’s no biggie, Sensei.”
“Teddie-”
Why does he keep saying my name?
“Yu, I promise. D-don’t worry.” For some reason, his voice was getting more choked up.
But the rose-covered boy still smiled at Yu. Guiltily, a slight annoyance creeps into his chest. Why does he keep saying my name?
The other didn’t return the gesture.
“Seriously, though, I should start applying for that job soon. I’ve been eating too many Topsicles–”
“Teddie!”
He turned to the yell of his name, widening his eyes at the intensity behind it. Before Teddie could truly react, he was enfolded in a strong embrace.
-Well, it wasn’t really just an embrace. It was more of a very, very tight grasp. Nevertheless, Teddie slowly grabbed the sides of Yu’s arms, ignoring the suffocating feeling in his chest.
Hesitantly, he tried to get a look at Yu’s face, focusing on what possible expression he may have. Searching for any kind of indication that could be found within his features. It was difficult, not only because he was practically thrown into the depression of the older’s shoulder region, but Teddie's vision was getting blurrier by the second.
Through the mirage of his vision, he noticed Yu’s school uniform was slowly turning a darker shade of gray, and he reached out to touch the patch, only to realize it was wet.
It took him a moment to piece together that he said blurriness wasn’t the choke hold Yu had on him, but fresh, wet tears forming in his eyes.
Was he crying this entire back and forth?
… Well, that would explain why Yu was hugging him.
Teddie let his hands rise to be around the other’s neck, so he could finally steal a glance at Yu’s face. The gray-haired boy’s eyes were closed, the disappointment Teddie thought was on his expression disappearing into the frigid wind that passed through the two. He didn’t shiver that time. That chill actually helped Teddie suppress his tears, eventually stopping after a moment of restful silence.
Once Yu finally opened his eyes, they seemingly expressed only fondness. But Teddie knew his friend. That emotion, that restless despair, still hung behind his gray irises.
There was a period of silence, kind of awkward because of the less-than-admirable position. This… would be pretty embarrassing to explain to anyone trying to access the roof, at least on Yu’s side. But despite that, there was an ethereal quiet, only interrupted by the soothing wind blowing on their face.
“...You know…” Yu finally started, patting the other on the back. “If you want me to say it again: You can stay here.”
“...Really?”
It didn’t take a single pause, nor a sign of apprehension, for Yu to nod. “What’s keeping you from thinking you can?”
Teddie opens his mouth to speak, but his tongue dries with the same hesitation as before. It felt … terrifying to face the truth. It feels as if he’s facing his shadow all over again, this time with tons of new insecurities, both new and old, to haunt him with.
“You know me, I don’t have a very good answer…” the blonde started, laughing humorlessly. “I think I’ve just been feeling out of place ever since I got here.” He doesn’t utter why, but he’s sure the other could catch the gist of what he was saying. Yu paused, tilting his head to the side to try to look at him, but accidentally bumped his chin into the other’s cheek instead.
“Ack-!” he yelped, leaning back a bit and forcing Teddie to shift a bit forward. At that moment, they looked at each other and couldn’t help but share a laugh.
The moment was warm. Teddie basked in the sound of someone else's joy, face flushing at the fact that it was his Sensei’s, or well, his friend’s laughter as well. He continued to giggle in the space, leaning his forehead into the edge of Yu’s chin.
“Haha…” Teddie laughed, feeling the others’ eyes looking at him. This time, however, he couldn’t return the gaze. “Sometimes I think that I’m… that I-I’m wrong.”
Yu cocked his head again, being sure not to bang into Teddie’s this time, beckoning him to continue.
Slowly, Teddie pulled away from the embrace, shifting his eyes back to his lap.
“I don’t like being different from you guys,” He twiddled his thumbs as he spoke. “I wanna go to school, or buy something on my own, or… be a part of your world– this world.” The words are hasty, strung with veiled emotions Teddie himself didn’t understand. He was so… eager to learn his identity. Create it, even. A human, a king… But by every passing day, there’s an odd sense of trepidation growing in his heart, filling more and more. Almost like sharp, jagged puzzle pieces awkwardly fitting together. Absently, Teddie wondered what would happen if the feelings went overboard.
Maybe he would finally figure out who he was?
“But I… always have this feeling that I should go, or that I don’t belong here, or that I’m not accepting who I truly am– whatever that is.” Slowly, he started to unravel, unable to stop the words from flowing out of his mouth.
“...That I’ll keep burdening you guys if I stay any longer. That… maybe if I didn’t exist, if I never changed, you’d be able to keep living without ever having to feel irritated at me again.”
There was a deep, uncomfortable silence after. At that moment, an epiphany bubbled into Teddie’s mind: Yu is dealing with both Nanako and Mr. Dojima, his caretaker in the hospital, and is probably going through one of the toughest periods of his life. His human life. Guilt sluggishly seeped into his chest, realizing he’s been saying all these pointless things to someone who comes home to a desolate house each day.
Teddie inattentively laughed, now moving to fidget with his golden bangs. He still smiled. “That’s a stupid thing to say, isn’t it? I really am talking nonsense… sorry.”
And finally, Teddie met Yu’s eyes, and froze.
The gray eyes’ pupils were dilated, stressed, as his eyebrows scrunched up just above them. A soft shake existed within his jaw, fists clenched ever-so slightly, but just tight enough to be noticed by the blonde. His lips dipped into a straight line, quivering.
In that moment, Teddie felt tiny.
The star arcana’s shoulders slumped, quickly turning his head to face anything except the person in front of him. He held his hands, fearful that they would start trembling too.
The world paused. And then, it was when both of them truly comprehended what his words implied. If I disappeared… would that be better for his friends? The investigation team? That was what Teddie’s mind thought.
Oh, the head was a dangerous weapon.
He started to actually understand what the metaphor ‘ignorance is bliss’ meant. If Teddie had never faced his true self, or gone to the world outside the TV, or never explored the thought that he could possibly be a burden, maybe he wouldn’t feel so terrible. Maybe this weird repulsion wouldn’t be pulsing in his heart daily, and he’d exist on– not live on– in the habromanic world behind the screen of Junes. It made Teddie sick, all the guilt corroding his body. His hollow body.
Through his peripheral vision, Teddie could just make out a hesitant hand, slowly reaching out to him with a worried spasm in his muscles every couple of seconds. Stubbornly, he refused to look back at the wild card’s expression, the same fear of disappointment coming back from mere moments ago. And so he continued to stare vacantly at the roof’s concrete floor, noticing the nearly imperceptible cracks in its formation.
And stare like you’ve stared for your entire life, and only stare, because it’s the closest you’ll get to living.
The hand suddenly grazed Teddie’s shoulder, so gently, yet enough for him to notice, because he happened to be good at noticing. Not understanding, not feeling, just noticing.
He treated it like it was the most delicate thing in the world, as if the blonde would shatter if any more pressure were pressed into his skin. And somehow, that delicacy was enough to make Teddie start crying again.
It shifted from his forearm, down to his wrist, and then his own hand; only then did Yu truly use any sort of force, simply to clutch the star’s hand. Out of instinct, Teddie’s already puffy cheeks turned a soft shade of pink. With Teddie’s unclasped sleeve, he wiped the tears off his face.
The blonde throat, even though he was just rambling quite a bit, was completely choked for words. If Yu wasn’t there, we would probably try his best statue impression, to not be found. Unfortunately, he was already caught.
Steadily, the tightness enveloping his hand increased. It wasn’t that noticeable yet, but it seemed almost… out of fear.
That’s when Teddie turned to Yu once more, only to find the gray-haired boy’s eyes subtly adorned with tears. If you never noticed them, it would just look like his same, neutral expression. Teddie wondered how Yu could switch his appearance so quickly, wondered why he could emote so much in one moment, then conceal everything he could the next.
It was so… uncanny seeing Yu cry.
“You… you…” His words were hesitant and scattered, his pupils locating each detail of the blonde’s face. “You can’t… You can’t do that…”
“We don’t want you to disappear. I don’t want people to keep disappearing …” His words trailed off. “If you… left… because you thought that you were nothing more than a burden, thought you didn’t contribute anything to the Investigation Team… thought you were nothing… I’d…” An agitation rose from the pits of the Fool’s throat, his hand’s hold growing stronger.
It felt wrong to look away now. Too impersonal or disrespectful. So, despite Teddie’s reluctance, he continued to look at Yu, a heavy weight growing in his chest. It was funny. Forty minutes ago, he wasn’t really expecting to be talking to anyone. Now look at them. They're both crying.
“Please,” Yu begged, an odd raspiness in his tone. He blinked, clearing the maudlin look from his eyes as best he could. “As… as an Investigation Team member, I don’t want to risk losing anyone else.”
“But I… can’t risk losing you. Not because you’re anybody else, but cause you’re you. Like Nanako is my little sister, and Dojima-san is my uncle, and…” He cut himself off. “
It was a look of desperation only someone who truly knew Yu could read. He kept everything behind the safety of his elegantly gentle eyes. A gray pool of the moon. So often, people forget Yu was a person. To them, he was an open book– someone who could never hide anything behind his soft smile or muted expressions. But that’s the thing: he hid everything behind it. And Teddie didn’t want to forget.
Slowly, Teddie reached out, affectionately interlocking their offhands together. “... Alrighty.”
Yu’s eyes softened, the tension in his pupils slowly fazing away after a few seconds. He hastily squeezed the blonde’s hands, as if the person in front of him would wane and dissipate into the zephyr passing through. Or maybe to check if he was truly there. Teddie couldn’t say that much.
But even then, Teddie could still see the tenuous skepticism located in his moon-pooled eyes, as the gray-haired boy bit the inside of his cheeks. Truthfully, Teddie couldn’t say he felt totally rejuvenated from his slump. There was an odd, substantial weight of feelings in his chest, pricking him from within this cavernous body. Yu was always so good at reading him.
Nevertheless, the tranquil serenity of the other’s presence was unlike anything he’d felt before, both emotionally and literally. Humane tenderness such as Yu’s was something Teddie had never experienced before meeting him, Yosuke, and Chie– before coming to the world beyond the eternally static TVs and haunting shadows.
So who was he to let the moment pass?
Continuing the same game as before, only this time shifting into a peaceful stare rather than a harsh leer, Teddie gazed at Yu, giving a silly smile of adoration, his tears drying on his round, light-pink cheeks.
Neither of them spoke for a time.
It was odd, really. Teddie was considered the most talkative out of the entire Investigation Team; the one who couldn’t shut up about his thoughts, purposeful or intrusive. Now he was at a loss for true, meaningful words.
Another gale puffed through the sanctum, blowing Teddie’s loose hair all around on his head. Breaking the silence, Teddie giggled, shaking his head to get the strands away from his eyes without letting go of the other boy’s hands. As if second nature, Yu unclasped his right hand, caressing and fixing up the top of the Blonde’s hair. Not noticing his own sporadic tears, Yu, too, laughed, his teeth clenched and mouth not fully opened. His eyes held a new emotion, something compassionate and filled with… something else the rose boy couldn’t recognize. It looked like an emotion of the same caliber as a flower field– vibrant, ethereally luminescent– foreign to the blue-eyed boy.
“ Not after the case… not ever. You’re staying here, where you belong.”
Never more.
Teddie, eyes glistening, nodded, unable to take his gaze off the hand resting just above his line of sight. The gesture made him feel a patter in his heart; the same observation that made him notice just how many feelings he housed in that organ. The pain still dug into him, but it was hard to deny the words of the person he admired most.
It was then that Yu smiled with such unprecedented brilliance, a fragile beauty resting on that grin. He straightened his posture, finally removing his hand from Teddie’s head, albeit hesitantly. Before it was fully retracted, his fingers patted the blonde’s bangs one last time, making sure they stayed in place. It was a quiet, unacknowledged motion, all done while Yu was looking at the other’s face with a soft, attentive expression. Still holding that smile. Still holding his hand.
Perhaps Teddie imagined it, but he could’ve sworn Yu moved closer than he was before. Gingerly, Yu leaned in, just barely missing Teddie’s forehead. The blonde’s cheeks deepened in color from the proximity, turning into salmon pink; he was left unable to hold back his quiet, innocent laughs from slipping out of his smile. He just barely missed bumping his nose with the other.
The silence was comfortable, exuding a soft mellowness that contrasted the intense beating in Teddie’s chest. The boy thought back on all those times he would watch those romance shows while Yosuke was at school, imagining how he would experience the feeling himself. In the past, he was set on the belief that it would be impossible. That any form of romance or comedic intimacy would be artificial.
“Thank you, Sensei…!”
Yu nodded, bowing his head ever-so-slightly so that his bangs were angled enough to cover his face. Through the cracks of his silver hair, however, Teddie could just make out a blush similar to his own as he maneuvers his hands out of blonde’s grasp. A ping of disappointment rang through Teddie’s chest from the sudden absence, before being swept away by the replacement of hands on his cheeks, his smile quivering in hesitation.
Teddie, involuntarily, squeaked, jumping away from too much proximity. The gray-haired boy’s brittle grin shifted to a frown, his face soon filled with a sudden discomfort–perhaps guilt.
Hastily, Yu remarked. “Oh–ahem– sorry about that… I wasn’t–” He didn’t finish his sentence, turning his head away. A sharp pain jabbed within Teddie as he saw Yu’s face warble back into its usually monotone expression. Said pain was quickly replaced with a bizarre determination, as Teddie quickly leans over and grabs Yu’s hands, pausing a second before resting them on his own face again, making eye contact with the other the whole interaction.
…Realistically, he was only copying what he saw on those romance TV shows. He had no clue what he was truly doing.
But it felt… nice.
And then, Yu laughed, a mellifluous sound that echoed through the entire Yasogami rooftop. Teddie laughed back and felt like he was on top of the world. Talk about a rollercoaster of a conversation.
But it felt more than a conversation. Something Teddie would rather have Yu name, because he was too afraid to be wrong.
Gently, Yu leaned his head down once more, as if he was contemplating something. Teddie cocked his head to the side. “Seems my charms have already won you over!” he teased, as he did with everyone on the Investigation Team. However, it felt harder to joke this time.
Within his moon-pool eyes, Yu’s demeanor shifted to something more serious, his gaze traveling to multiple places; notably different locations on Teddie’s face. The fondness was still cradled in his expression, though more conflicted than before.
“Will you–”
“YU!!!”
A loud, brash voice followed by the sound of a door opening enveloped the roof, and Yu immediately shot himself as far as possible from Teddie. The blonde, still dazed and waiting for his mind to catch up, eventually fixed his position to appear more laidback, disappointing seeping back into his chest. He shook his head, silently reprimanding whoever ruined the ‘moment.’ he looked up to find Chie and Yosuke, the latter for some reason dressed in his Junes apron.
The pair’s faces were filled with confusion, and Teddie just prayed they didn’t see anything that happened. The tomboy-ish girl spoke up. “...What’re you guys up to?”
The question itself was ambiguous, leaving Teddie unable to really supply an answer to his said prayers. So, his natural response was to use the reverse-psychology method: Kanji Style.
“Just came to have a special visit with Sensei!” Teddie gleamed, flicking his hand out in both a stylish and “feigned-casual” way. It was then that he noticed the raspiness hidden in his throat, a symbol of his unquelled thoughts and feelings from mere minutes ago. His smile faltered, and he could feel his stance tighten uncontrollably, in a way to be smaller. Somehow, it worked, because neither of the two commented on his voice.
A dash of wind wisped across the rooftop, sending a chill down the pair's spines. Chie, seemingly jumpy, couldn’t suppress a middle-high-pitched gasp. “Oh, you’re right, Chie! Too scandalous to even continue speaking!” Teddie eventually rambled on, forcing the words out to hide whatever could be deciphered behind them. It simply took tagging words like “passion” and “hands entwined” to get the karate master to roll her eyes, no longer taking any of Teddie’s words seriously. Haha, worked like a charm. They don’t know I haven’t lied this entire conversation!
“Yeah, yeah, Ted, that’s great,” Yosuke said dismissively, turning to Yu and Yu only. “Look… Partner, I’m gonna have to ask …” He scrunched his eyebrows, scratching the back of his neck. Teddie could most likely guess what this was about, but he remained silent, overlooking Yu’s expression.
Yu, even with his tensed face, seemed to relax to the sound of his friend’s voices, as he nodded along. “What’s the big deal, Yosuke?”
The brunette abruptly claps his hands together, bowing forward in hope of mercy. “Please help out at Junes for the next few days!” He pleaded, shyly looking up from his lowered head to meet Yu’s gaze. “With all these rumors spreading around Inaba, Junes has been importing these gas masks to take advantage of the whole ‘fog hysteria’ spreading, and it’s been busier than ever… we need all hands on deck.”
A sigh escaped from the green-jacketed girl. “It’s not enough you’re forcing me to work, huh?” She complained, putting her hands on her hips.
“Uh– Yeah, cause you don’t do shit!” Yosuke countered incredulously. “Plus, the part-timers have been calling in sick over this stuff, and my dad’s barely got any staff to handle the customer flow. He’s desperate for anyone, at this point.”
The girl rolled her eyes, replacing her annoyed expression with something more somber. “It’s kinda concerning how the fog’s been affecting people, isn’t it? I mean… It’s probably just the town’s fear, or all mental, but–” Chie clicked her tongue. “I mean… I hope it doesn’t actually start hurting anyone, y’know?”
Both Teddie and Yosuke nodded, but Yu simply hung his head in response.
“So, Partner, waddya say?”
There was a weird tension in Yu’s shoulders, which made Teddie want to reach out to comfort him. But just before he would’ve started moving his hand, the leader stood up, fixing his bangs. “I’ll go.” He mumbles, using a tone of voice unlike him. It was as if Yu was uncomfortable or agitated. Not necessarily at anyone in particular, but... generally.
Yosuke’s face illuminates into a relieved grin. “Great, man! I’ll make sure you get paid well, don’t you worry about that.” He gestured towards the roof’s door. “I’ll be heading there in a bit, so make sure to meet me there at about 4:00. Thanks again!”
A groan emerged from the short-haired girl’s lips as she stretched her arms, glaring at the boy currently running from the scene. After a few ‘idiot’s’ and ‘why me’s?’ thrown around, she turned her attention to Teddie, raising her eyebrows as if she just processed he was there. “Why aren’t you at Junes anyway, Ted? Shouldn’t you be helping over there instead of loitering around our school?”
Teddie squinted his eyes, trying to decipher what Chie meant. Loitering? He didn’t throw any garbage anywhere around campus!
… Oh, wait, that might be littering.
…
Another question for Yosuke when he gets home.
Nevertheless, he answered the question, his voice finally losing its rawness. “It’s been a while since I visited… I couldn’t leave my daringly passionate fans waiting, could I?” He made a finger gun shooting motion, winking in the same manner as he did during the pageant. Chie rolled her eyes, snickering as she turned her back.
“Well, you might wanna get your butt back there, or else Yosuke’s gonna kill you,” she says casually, finger-gunning back, although this time to the side rather than directed at someone. Teddie couldn’t help but grin widely, and he could hear Yu chuckle at the gesture himself. As Chie started to walk away, the gray-haired boy turned to Teddie, offering a hand.
“You heard her. Let’s get going, shall we?”
And for a moment, Teddie considered refusing. The tranquility of the now blue-ish orange sky, the prospect of returning to the silence before; it was extremely appealing to him.
But now, it felt nearly impossible to say no to his Sensei. And even more impossible now that he could see the red, puffy outline of his eyes up close again. Impossible, knowing that he caused him to cry.
So, he took Yu’s hand, pulling himself up from the spot he was glued to. Though he didn’t let go instantly, flashing a soft, tender smile at the other. Instead, they held out the moment, living in the cold breeze that neither of them realized they had gotten used to. In those fleeting seconds, for Teddie, it felt good to stare. He liked staring at his Sensei. He liked staring at Yu.
“... Last one to the front gate has to help Yosuke’s dad close up Junes…!”
Teddie said it so nonchalantly that Yu didn’t even process the challenge presented. The blonde gained the upper hand almost instantly, making a mad dash to the stairwell, laughing innocently.
Once Yu finally realizes what he said, he gasps, quickly jumping into a run. “Hey–! Ted! Wait!” He swiftly huffed, bolting down the same path as the one before him, leaving his footsteps to ricochet an echo through the chamber of the stairs.
And so, the roof turned uninhabited once more.
If you listened closely, and very closely, out in the distance, you’d be able to hear the strained, continuous yelling of the soccer team’s coach still, and just beyond there, some faraway voices of girls and boys alike, saying their goodbyes for the day. And maybe, you’d think, it would be nice to be a part of the “shitty” routine.
And maybe, before you'd realize it, before you'd despise yourself, before you'd let yourself submit to your guilt, before you'd force yourself to go back to your world...
Before you'd turn back to a regular shadow, you'd realize that you were a part of the shitty routine more than you had ever known.