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„You okay, man?“ Marleau’s voice was concerned.
„I stubbed my toe.“ Ilya walked off cursing. This was just bullshit.
At first he had thought that maybe Shane going out with Rose was just a friendship thing. Maybe a way to get his revenge on Ilya going out with lots of women in the past. But now it seemed as if it was real. Several news outlets had shown clips and photos of them together at different restaurants and cafés. Out on the street holding hands. It was disgustingly sweet. And Ilya hated it.
„Hey, Roz,“ Marleau sat next to him on the bench. Ilya had just showered after their team workout in the gym and was trying to get dressed, but failing. Still going over the pictures he’d seen on the news in his head.
„You okay?“ Marleau bumped his shoulder againt Ilya’s. No, Marleau, I’m not the fuck okay. I thought Hollander was mine and mine alone. I was selfish. I was stupid. And then I let him see how much he meant to me and now he’s off with some girl making a nest or some shit.
„Fine.“ He ground out instead.
„Do you know her?“ Marleau asked.
Ilya looked up at him confused.
„What?“
„Rose Landry. Do you know her from somewhere?“
„No. What the fuck, Marly?“ Ilya didn’t understand what was going on.
„You seemed upset.“
„I’m not upset.“ Ilya stood up quickly and ripped his towel off, grabbing his underpants and shoving them on.
„I thought maybe you’d met her before or something. I don’t know.“
„I haven’t.“ And now I never ever want to, he added in his head. He pulled his shirt over his head and tried getting into his pants, except that one of the legs was inside out and he almost crashed lengthwise to the floor, trying to get his foot through.
„FUCK!“ he cursed.
„Hollander is a lucky guy. She’s gorgeous.“ Marleau looked at Ilya in a serious way.
„Yeah, whatever.“ Ilya finally managed to get his pants on and stuffed everything else in his bag, slinging it over his shoulder.
„See you tomorrow.“ Marleau called after him as Ilya stomped out of the locker room.
He was not upset.
******
„You’re a fucking beautician.“ Marleau bumped his shoulder with one fist and Ilya managed a strained smile. His teammate didn’t need to know that Ilya had actually gone back to the hotel early last night and brought himself off in the shower in frustration and then gone to bed.
„Hey, Roz,“ Marleau plonked into the seat next to him on the plane that Victor St-Simon had just vacated to talk to Feller in the back.
„Hi.“ He wasn’t really in the mood.
„Connors just told me that you were already in bed when he got back from the club.“
„So what?“
„I thought you’d scored with that blonde, man.“
„Yeah, well.“ He hadn’t.
„Hey, uh,“ Marleau leaned in and lowered his voice to a whisper. „That was some fucked up shit yesterday at the club.“
What?
„What?“ Ilya should have just said nothing. He should have.
„What are you doing? Running a bet or something?“
„A what?“ Ilya was thoroughly confused once more and he really really didn’t want to talk about last night.
„You and Hollander.“
Ilya started to sweat a little.
„Are you like running a bet on who can score with the hottest girl or something?“
„What?“ Why did Ilya keep asking? He should just tell Marleau to fuck off.
„I saw you yesterday at the club. You were, I don’t know. Doing a staring contest or something.“ Ilya tried to keep calm. This was his strength. Letting no emotions show on the outside no matter what was happening inside. „You were like, all over that girl and looking at him. Like a dare or something.“ Shit.
„Like he would ever win against me.“ Ilya scoffed. It sounded fake, even to his own ears.
„I don’t know, man, Rose Landry is kinda hot.“ Marleau winked at him and Ilya felt like throwing up.
*****
„So, I watched the All star game.“ Marleau was on the treadmill next to Ilya and they were the first ones in the gym today.
„You had no girl to have sex with? You watched boring game?“
„Oh, it wasn’t really boring.“ Marleau started the setting on his machine on low.
„Some great goals you guys scored.“
„Yeah, well,“ Ilya pulled a face. „I didn’t really get to score much.“ Except he had. Just not on the ice.
„No, seriously,“ Marleau started running. And the sound of two sets of feet filled the gym. They hadn’t switched the TV on yet.
„Did you guys ever play together before?“
„Who?“ Ilya tried to play dumb. Maybe it would throw Marleau off.
„You and Hollander.“ Marleau looked at him but Ilya avoided his eyes.
„You guys were like ... I don’t know ... magic or some shit. I have never seen two players, who had never played together before, be so ... lit, you know.“ Marleau shrugged. Ilya shrugged, too. As if this wasn’t crazy-mad-once-in-a-fucking-lifetime shit.
„I watched tape.“ Ilya tried to avoid the question.
„Tape.“ Marleau looked over at him again. „Sure.“
„Did he bring Rose Landry?“
Ilya shrugged.
„Did you meet her?“
„No.“ That at least was true. Ilya couldn’t very well tell Marleau that Shane and Rose had broken up already, after only about a month of dating or something. That Shane was his again. And that he would do the fuck everything he could to keep it that way.
„Roz ...,“ Marleau started, but Ilya didn’t let him finish.
„I think I will use rowing machine, yes?“ He stopped his treadmill that he had only just started and stepped off.
******
Shane was slowly circling towards him on the ice. Ilya looked up when he stopped in front of him.
„Are we still on for tonight? After?“ Shane looked anywhere but at him and Ilya’s heart took a leap. He was so adorable.
He nodded.
Finishing his stretches, he skated back to the side where the away team’s benches were.
„What did he want?“ Marleau was just shuffling his skates back and forth having already completed his stretches.
„He wanted to know, if he could have sex with your girlfriend tonight.“ Ilya joked.
„Sure. Rose Landry not doing it for him?“ Marleau huffed a laugh.
Ilya smirked. No, she wasn’t.
„I don’t know, maybe he likes threesomes.“ He teased.
„Roz, that guy is tighter than a poor man’s purse. You don’t think he’d be doing anything other than missionary with his future wife, right?“
Like hell.
„Maybe he’s just boring on the outside. And a wild beast in bed.“ He laughed at Marleau and tried not to blush. Hollander might look all prim and proper in public but in bed he was ... a firecracker. Ilya couldn’t wait until after the game, when he would rip Hollander’s clothes off his body and bang him hard across the arm of that leather couch of his.
„There’ve been like ... no pictures of him and Rose Landry for the last two months, you know.“
Ilya shrugged.
„Maybe they want to have some peace and quiet.“
He knew that Shane and Rose had agreed to let their „relationship“ run on officially. Just until Rose found someone else or until no one was interested in them anymore. As a beard, Shane had explained to Ilya. Ilya hadn’t understood what that meant at first. Like, why would a woman be a beard? That made no sense. But Shane had told him that it was just a blanket term for a fake relationship that prevented anyone from looking into a person’s private affairs too closely if they were homosexual. So Rose had agreed to be Shane’s beard for a while longer. Ilya would have thanked her, but he was still angry at her, so ...
„Or maybe ...“ Marleau skated closer and leaned in. „He wasn’t up to her standard, if you know what I mean.“ Marleau made a gesture with his finger that was supposed to imitate a ... boiled spaghetti.
„Marly, you’re disgusting.“
„Or maybe, she didn’t have the right ... equipment for him.“ Marleau winked at him and Ilya almost choked but then the whistle sounded and they had to get in position for face off.
Five minutes later one of his worst nightmares happened and he was still reeling from it. At least his face had regained some color.
„Look, Roz, I’m really really sorry, okay.“ Marleau was running a hand through his hair. He looked distraught.
„Is okay.“ Ilya tried shrugging it off, but he felt like punching Marleau in the face.
„I didn’t want to hurt him. I just ... I thought, he’d seen me coming.“
„Is fine, Marly.“ Ilya tried keeping it together. He was standing at his cubicle in the locker room with his back to everyone, trying not to let his teammates see how much he was fighting tears.
„Roz ...“ Marleau tried again. „I ... do you want me to drive you to the hospital?“
Ilya quickly checked that no one was listening to them. Then he shook his head.
„No. I will go tomorrow, yes? As good Captain.“
******
It was the week before the play-offs and they were all on tenterhooks. Ilya had gone down to the rink early, to get an hour of gym in, before the regular practice session. When he entered the Raiders‘ gym room, Marleau was already there.
„What the hell, Marly?“ He bumped fists with the huge defenseman.
„Rozzy!“ Marleau called. „Good to see you.“
„Can’t get enough of me, can you?“ Ilya teased.
„Can I tell you a secret?“
„Sure.“ Ilya shrugged.
„I need to stretch and warm up before we start practice, because the physio said I have tight tendons.“
Ilya grinned at him. Then he shook his head.
„Is fine. I keep your secret. I am good at secrets.“ He hadn’t really meant to say the last part out loud. But here it was.
„Did you hear anything from Hollander? Is he ... okay?“ Marleau was still embarassed about having caused a serious injury to Hollander, who had never hurt a fly himself.
„He is okay. Collarbone almost good. Headaches gone.“ He didn’t want to sound too invested, so he pretended to re-tie his shoelaces.
„Do you guys talk?“
„Yes, Marly, we learnt as children. One two three. Full sentences, too.“ Ilya scoffed.
„I meant to each other.“
Ilya looked away again. He wondered which machine he should start with. Rowing? Or treadmill? Maybe the exercise bike? He surely wanted out of this conversation.
„I saw the way you looked at him.“
„What way is that?“ Ilya tried to get away from this conversation.
„Roz, I’m not saying it was just you. He was ... are you guys crushing on each other or something?“
„Marly ...“ Ilya tried but there was a lump in his throat the size of Panama.
„Look, I don’t know what went down with Rose Landry, or what happened in that club, but the way you were looking at each other during that All Star Game, man, that was some liquid hot romantic shit, man. And when he ... when he was injured ...“
Ilya sat down heavily on one of the benches at the back of the gym.
„You cannot tell anyone about this Marly. Please.“ Ilya looked at his teammate earnestly.
„Roz, man, I’m not going to tell anyone about anything. Okay?“ Marleau sat down next to him.
„Is top secret.“ Ilya rubbed his neck. Shane would kill him, if he knew he was talking to Marleau about this.
„You swear?“
„I swear.“ Marleau looked at him seriously. Ilya took a deep breath.
„Hollander and I are ... something.“ He didn’t really know what they were yet.
„Something?“ Marleau poked.
„I don’t know. We kiss, we fuck. I don’t know. Something more. Maybe.“
There was complete silence in the gym for a few moments. Ilya looked at his hands.
„Is he your Montreal girl?“ Marleau asked. His voice a little shaky.
Ilya nodded.
„Shit man.“ Marleau took a deep breath. „That’s some serious shit.“
Ilya snorted. Yeah, well.
„I mean, that’s been going on for years, hasn’t it?“
Ilya nodded.
„Since before rookie season.“
„That’s ...“ Marleau was lost for words. For once. It took him a moment to collect himself.
„Look, I don’t know if this means anything, but the way you’ve been smiling at your phone whenever you texted her ... him. You were glowing, man. Like seriously. So, if I were you. I’d make that thing between you guys a permanent thing. Whatever the thing is. Cause I think you don’t get to experience that kind of cosmic shit too many times in your life.“
Ilya huffed a smile.
„Like that wouldn’t be the biggest scandal in the history of MLH, yes?“
„Look, man, I don’t know about that. But fuck the MLH. Fuck hockey. Fuck other people. If you want to be happy in your life, make it so you‘re happy, okay?“
„Yes, sir.“ Ilya smiled a half smile.
If only it were that easy.