Chapter Text
It’s been four days since their lunch together, it’s 11 pm on a wednesday, her children are long asleep. Emily is sitting in her apartment’s office, cup of tea in hand, reminiscing about it. She still can’t believe that she admitted to Andy Sachs that she called after Paris, that she wanted to be pals. Thank god Andy took pity and saved her from more humiliation and told her she’s willing to try that, but why is her head so into the memoir of Andy’s hand on the table, why does she regret so much not holding it? Why can’t she just let. It. Go?
“Why on earth did I call her?” Emily thinks out loud and sighs. The truth is, it’s been 20 years, 20 years trying to erase Andrea from the back of her mind, where she seems to live rent free. She almost made it, almost forgot about those brown eyes, but even in her happiest moments (especially on those, actually), she remembered that sincere smile and wished she could see it once again.
Too many things happened lately, losing her job at Dior (fuck you Miranda), Benji dumping her (she’s actually relieved by this one, but how dare he), Getting a new job at Coach of all places, and reconnecting with the woman she admired so long ago (that’s it right? Just admiration, right?). Then why did she started feeling so jealous four hours ago when Andy texted her that she was getting ready to go have dinner at Peter’s?
She knows she should be supportive about Andy’s relationship, and happy for her, they are friends now, friends are supposed to be happy for one another, but she just couldn’t find it in her to reply to that text with something nice, so she just decided not to reply at all.
Emily was resting her forehead on the palm of her hands, eyes closed and bent over her knees, just completely lost in thought when she got a new notification, her phone screen lit up with Andrea’s name on it.
-“Hey Em, everything okay? Haven’t heard from you in a few hours and wanted to check in :)”
-“Everything’s fine, go enjoy your dinner Andy” Emily sent, hoping for no reply about how much of a good time the brunette must be having at her boyfr- her phone vibrates at her hand with another text
-“Actually, just got back home, he wanted me to stay at his place tonight but I turned him down”
-“ why did you turn him down? Is sex with him that bad?” Emily sent, instantly regretting so immediately sending another text “do not dare to reply to that, I am CERTAIN that I do not want to know”
-“Ha ha, okay Em, I won't tell you about it”
Emily sighed again, phone in hand, feeling sorry now for her own sex life because, how long has it been since she has been intimate with someone? Definitely months, she thinks, not that she misses it. Benji was awful in bed, only caring about himself and leaving her unsatisfied. Him being her last sexual partner paid a toll on her in that aspect. She never really connected sexually with any of her male partners, but after that experience, she was seriously considering just never dating men again, or anyone in that case. Intimacy scares her, being vulnerable with someone was never an option, but she craved it somehow.
-“ Hey so, are you free any time soon? We haven’t seen each other in a few days and I lowkey want to see you :)” Andy sent a few minutes after the last text. Emily raised an eyebrow, they may be friends but this was the first time Andy (or anyone), admitted to missing her.
-“Andrea, is everything all right? Are you drunk or something?” She sent, and immediately after realized she had finished her cup of tea, so she took it to the kitchen and went to get ready for bed. Another text was waiting for her when she got under her sheets.
-“Of course everything’s all right, can’t I just tell my friend that I miss her and want to see her?”
Emily chuckled but decided to keep her usual attitude towards the other woman -“Ugh, whatever Andy, I know I can’t stop you from doing whatever you want anyways”
-“Well baby, get used to it then” immediately followed by - “it’s late, and I got an early morning tomorrot, but please let me know when can we see each other, good night, x”
She rereads the messages several times for at least five minutes, “definitely drunk” she thinks to herself while rolling her eyes; she’s not really sure how to reply, what to think, or how to feel about it all, especially the baby part; were those butterflies she was feeling in her stomach? No. She will not feel anything about it, she can’t allow herself to, after all. Nevertheless she replied:
-“Fancy going out for drinks friday night? My children will be at their father’s. Please let me know. Good night darling, x.”
“For fucks sake” she whispered to herself a little too late, after realizing she didn’t even had to think twice to know she also wanted to see Andy again, and that the endearment at the end of her text slipped through her fingers so naturally, but deciding to ignore it because, after all, she will not allow herself to get feelings, especially for someone that left her twenty years ago.
-o-
Andy was in fact drunk. Peter took her to a nice restaurant, they had a nice bottle of wine, and he wanted her to go back to his place with him, but she just couldn’t take the thought of Emily off her head. Why didn’t she reply to her when she told her about her plans for the night? but mostly why was it bothering Andy so much not listening back from the british?
Peter seemed to realize she was kinda off tonight and asked her if everything was going okay at Runway
“Just same old, Miranda asking for a lot but nothing I can’t handle. I’m just overwhelmed I guess” she said while giving him a smile that didn’t really catch her eyes. They didn’t talk much after that.
Peter dropped her at her apartment and she dismissed him with a quick peck before closing her door as fast as she could. She leaned against the door and took her phone out of her pocket to text Emily before she could think about it.
In between their text conversation, Andy got herself a glass of cheap wine she had on her refrigerator door from earlier that week, a bottle that Peter brought on monday actually, she instantly regretted getting it after remembering it was a weeknight and she had to be at Runway earlier than usual. She sent her goodnights to Emily not long after and jumped to bed, checked her phone and found Emily’s last text. She also sent her boyfriend a thank you and goodnight text; he replied instantly but she didn’t bother to read it, jumping back to Emily's instead.
Andy grinned for the first time that night after reading the endearment that Emily sent her and decided to not send another message or make a big thing about it, in fear of ruining the moment. She almost lost track of her thoughts, reminiscing about the time she would sit on a desk in front of a then-redhead Emily at Miranda’s office, but didn’t really want to dwell on the thoughts, or her feelings back then. She definitely missed watching herself in Emily's light blue eyes, and was definitely looking forward to spend time with her friend, hoping Peter will understand the change of plans (they were supposed to go to the movies that friday night, but that was the only night Emily suggested, and she was not risking to lose the opportunity of meeting with her this week) she just feels the need to be close to her, and finally crack the code to Em’s mind (and heart, but she’s not ready to admit it just yet).
Andy woke up panting on thursday morning. It was 6:30 in the morning, 15 minutes before her alarm went off. It was a dream that caused her to be in such distress; hands were caressing along the curve of her waist, the rose of lips on her nape, she moved her head to her right, giving more access to her neck. ¨Peter¨she sighs and opens her eyes, the hands hold her and turn her around.Piercing blue ones look back at her: ¨God, don't you dare ever call me the name of that pratt again¨. That wakes her up.
After a quick cold shower, but still shook about the dream, Andy picks up her phone. She sends a text to Peter first, wishes him a good day and gives a generic excuse on why they shouldn’t meet up on friday. Next, she confirms dinner with Emily. She shows up to Runway and tries to go on with her day but can only think about those delicate hands and beautiful blue eyes. Friday couldn’t come fast enough now.