Chapter Text
!!Reader pov!!
You wake up to your alarm, already knowing today was going to be shitty, a sudden wave of dysphoria washing over you as soon as you lift your blanket. “Shit-“ you see the pool of blood, both dried and fresh, around your thighs and crotch. You bled through. You sit up from your bed and go to the bathroom to get a clean flannel, run it under water, and try clean the bright red stains from your bright white sheets.
After five minutes of scrubbing at the stains you give up and just strip the bed. Hearing a small *ding* that is your text tone for your girlfriend Illi. You spring up and reach for your phone reading:
Illi<3: ru coming in 2day ml?
You place down the flannel, sit on your bare mattress and type:
y/n: ofc angel!!
Before deleting it, ‘is angel too fem?’ You think ‘Should i be more dry? That’s what most guys our age text like…’ taking your thought into account you delete the message typed before and re type:
Y/n: ye dw ills
‘Shit do I sound like a dick now? Fucking hell I with it just came naturally!’ You start to spiral, typing and retyping messages, dropping your phone back on your side table and going over to your dresser thinking ‘I’ll just get dressed first then I’ll reply.’ You go into your top drawer and grab out your binder, about to lift up your pyjama top (one of illis old scraggly band tees) you are rudely interrupted by your mom opening the door and shouting “*deadname*! Oh! Sorry… um.. y/n?Are you up?” Correcting herself mid speech, it still hurts though. “yes mom!” You reply, “Just about to get changed actually, so please knock next time!” She nods at this and clicks your door closed.
*ding*
‘Shit I never sent any of those texts, illi is probably wondering why I’ve been typing on and off for fifteen minutes!’ You rush over to your phone and your heard drops as you read the messages she had sent, your text notification had only gone off for the most recent one..
Illi<3: ru coming in 2day ml?
Illi<3: I’m brining the brownies me n Mikey made last light you said looked good xx
Illi<3: you okay? Xx why do you keep re typing?? Xx
Illi<3: have I done anything ml?
Illi<3: I’ll see u in skl. Or not ig.
You immediately start to spiral further and panic type:
Y/n: Illi I am so sorry I woke up on my period today and have been in a dysphoric state and kept obsessing over sounding masculine in my texts I didn’t mean to worry you at all I’m so sorry bby xx I’m coming in today xx I think seeing you will make it all better xx
You leave your phone and go to your personal bathroom, put in a tampon and the head back over to your dresser to get ready, binder, clean boxers, white button down, black pants, tie, blazer and FINALY your fingerless gloves (the only part of the school uniform that you’ve been able to change without being dress coded) you grab your bag and throw your Chromebook, sketchbook and pencil case in.
*ding*
You practically sprint back over to your phone and read illis new message:
Ill<3: it’s okay ml, Srry Abt ur period ;-; just please be more open and at least send emojis or something? Xx don’t leave me over here worrying lols xoxo
A sigh of relief exits your body as you send a heart emoji and the short message:
Y/n: Abt to start walking to Skl see you there bby x
You slip your phone into your blazer pocket as you exit your room, bounding down your stairs and into the kitchen to get your lunch money off the table, hugging your mom goodbye and bursting out the door like you had never felt the wind on your face. You start your 20 minute commute to school and can’t wait to see your girlfriend there.