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Suzaku hadn’t thought anything would’ve come of sleeping with Lelouch other than more complicated and hurt feelings. If he’s being honest he’ll admit that with every round they’d shared that night, with every time he’d filled Lelouch with more of himself that he’d wished Lelouch had the proper parts for something to come of it. Suzaku will admit that he’d noticed Lelouch’s less than great health recently and despite his hatred for Zero he truly does love Lelouch so he’d tried getting his friend, enemy whatever, to rest and eat more. It had come as a great shock when as their journey to Pendragon started Lelouch had in the shyest way Suzaku had ever seen from the other boy admitted to being four months pregnant. It had sent Suzaku through a loop, especially when he realized that based on the timeline and Lelouch’s complete and utter lack of sex life he was the other father.
The last time they’d had sex had been on Suzaku’s 18th birthday. It was before Lelouch had regained his memories and Suzaku had been far less than shocked to learn that Lelouch had less than innocent reasons to initiate sex. Lelouch admits that without the memories he felt like they’d been drifting apart and with Suzaku being away and becoming friendly with the Knights of Three and Six as well as his two subordinates had made Lelouch jealous so he’d decided to sleep with Suzaku in the hopes that he wouldn’t lose the other entirely. In an odd way it had made sense, Lelouch had been admittedly pushier than normal about it and had insisted that they keep going despite the previous few encounters they’d had consisting of one round (and once two) with Lelouch insisting he couldn’t continue (which Suzaku did and still does believe was the truth) Lelouch had begged to keep going to stay connected for as long as possible.
Apparently their combined want for something to come from the encounter combined with the help of Geass had made it possible for Suzaku to impregnate Lelouch. It’s actually a shock to Suzaku that Lelouch had wanted to keep it considering everything that had happened between them and what would later happen between them. Lelouch is surprised himself that Suzaku would even want anything to do with the child. Lelouch admits that even when Suzaku had betrayed him that final time he’d still wanted to keep the baby, wanted to keep that one tiny piece of what they’d had. Suzaku rushes to tell Lelouch that that day at the Kururugi Shrine he really had wanted to work together, he finally gets to tell Lelouch that he’d unknowingly been followed. Lelouch is quick to ask more questions about it and even eventually reveals the truth about other very important things that they almost forget the very pressing matter of their baby and Lelouch’s grand plan to die for world peace.
Suzaku tells Lelouch he doesn’t want to kill him. Lelouch tells him it’s the only way to atone for their sins and Suzaku can’t argue with him about that. Suzaku knows that there’s nothing left for the two of them, nothing but their child. Lelouch wants to wait, to have the child and then take the throne. So long as the child’s existence is kept a secret once Lelouch is dead and Suzaku is Zero the baby would be able to have a normal life. It’s not a stretch that a mixed Japanese-Britannian child would end up orphaned and if someone thinks they bear a little too close of a resemblance to the royal family it’s not like they’d be the first in the family to have a mixed child so a resemblance to Lelouch wouldn’t be a huge shock, especially when Lelouch already has a sister that married a Sumeragi which could explain away any resemblance to Suzaku. Hopefully, the whole half sibling and cousins thing could throw a wrench into that excuse due to how genetics work but at least it’s something going for them. Neither Lelouch nor Suzaku even know if either is still even alive but it’s the best explanation for if any resemblance is noticed and the kid is in a pinch, otherwise black hair is an extremely common feature for Japanese people and Green eyes while uncommon are a very well known feature on Britannians. As hesitant as they both are at the thought of giving up the baby they both eventually agree that it would be best for the child.
C.C. finally shows back up and asks them if they’ve finally come to an agreement. It’s a massive gamble but if the Lelouch takes the throne now and the Emperor is pregnant it’ll drum up some particular kinds of people to feel sympathy for him and would risk the baby’s future safety. Somehow the final five months pass without issue, the world feels at a stand still. With the Emperor still ‘missing’ and Schneizel nowhere to be seen things are tense. The uncertainty is perfect for Lelouch to come in and snatch up the throne, Britannia will just be grateful that someone stepped in. Things go smoothly and any opposition is crushed, Lelouch on live Tv takes the throne as well as credit for his father’s death. In front of the whole world he names Suzaku his knight and out of view C.C. stands with a baby cradled in her arms watching the whole thing happen.
———
They end up in a hospital very late at night at the tail end of March. Thanks to the nature of Lelouch’s pregnancy he can’t have a natural birth and requires a c-section. The few people in the room are baffled about the whole thing but are Geassed into believing they performed an utterly normal c-section for an utterly normal patient. The baby is a boy and small but doesn’t seem to have any issues (because Suzaku and C.C. forced Lelouch to take proper care of himself). The only evidence of the boy and his parent’s identities are the birth certificate which will just be remade to lack any parental identification later. They name him Jin, something simple and sweet that wouldn’t connect the boy to either of them. The vi Britannia-Kururugi won’t make it onto any other documentation. When in the palace they prepare a room for the boy, it’s the closest one to their room. Any and all staff are quickly put under Geass, no one can know about the boy, for his own sake he needs to be kept a secret.
Lelouch has a meeting soon (one that is thankfully to be held in the palace), he is the Emperor after all, but until then he and Suzaku spend time with their son. The small boy looks so similar to old photos of both boys that Suzaku laughs sadly about how they ever could’ve thought he might look different enough from them that they could claim their son had different parentage. The only remotely believable mothers would be Nunnally or Kaguya depending on if an outside observer believed the boy was fathered by Suzaku or Lelouch, even if the timelines could never match up. Lelouch adjusts the boy in his arms as he feeds their son. Honestly it’s a rather odd sight, the 99th Emperor and the Knight of Zero side by side feeding a baby considering how rare it was for former Emperors to even take a moment to see their children.
———
The news of the F.L.E.I.J.A decimating Pendragon has Lelouch Suzaku and C.C. rushing to where Jin is aboard the Avalon when they have a moment. The boy is of course safe but they will be keeping him elsewhere during the war. It was purely because neither Lelouch or Suzaku wanted to leave their baby alone while starting a war in a whole different country that they even brought him with.
C.C. runs a finger over the boy’s black hair. “So what are you going to do now? You’d mentioned wishing Nunnally could meet him and now she can.”
Lelouch side eyes the green haired girl as he hisses. “Are you really talking about this now? Jin could’ve died.”
C.C. looks blankly over at him. “But he didn’t, you took him with and so he’s alive. But you still have other people to consider now.”
Suzaku adjusts the baby in his arms as Lelouch fusses over the tiny boy.
“… I know just, give us a moment would you?” Lelouch’s voice is soft as he speaks.
“I care for the boy too you know, he’s here and not gone so focus on that instead of the what ifs.” C.C. says booping the baby’s nose as he laughs reaching for the people fussing over him.
———
Nunnally doesn’t say anything as she’s brought away from the parade grounds. Her face is red from crying and her breath feels short. She’s almost surprised when Zero, no Suzaku, brings her to Lelouch’s previous residence. He dismisses a blank faced woman who is quick to leave the residence as he pushes Nunnally through the building.
In the privacy of the now empty residence Suzaku removes his mask as he brings her to one of the rooms. Once inside Nunnally realizes it’s a nursery. There’s a baby in the crib, it’s crying. Suzaku is quick to lift the child to calm them. This is how Nunnally meets her nephew.
When Nunnally asks what’s going to happen to the boy Suzaku admits they were going to give him up. They just want him to have a ‘normal’ life. Nunnally insists he keep his son, it’s so clear to her that Suzaku doesn’t want to part with his and Lelouch’s child. Suzaku is hesitant, he doesn’t want his son to be seen as the child of two vile people he just wants what’s best for the boy, but he doesn’t want to lose the child he had with Lelouch.
Sadly it’s a fight to even get Suzaku to properly interact with his own son. He keeps an eye on the boy as he grows and even acts as a mentor of sorts but he’s only ever there as Zero, never as Suzaku. Suzaku’s self loathing is so bad that he won’t even tell the boy the truth and at this point Nunnally’s given up on trying. Whenever she would try he’d bring up his long list of crimes and even Lelouch’s assassination. She’d tried knocking sense into the man but he’d always just retreat into the Zero persona. At this point Nunnally wonders if Suzaku has finally managed to erase himself under the mask.
The bulk of raising Jin is done by Sayoko and Nunnally is incredibly grateful to her. She feels awful for not being able to care for the boy properly but she’d effectively been his legal guardian since she was fifteen and as much as she loves her brother she had duties as Empress and wasn’t going to raise his kid especially when the boy’s other father was still around. Nunnally adores Jin, as a baby he was always very calm and as a toddler he became a little menace on legs (the boy really does have so much energy) but there’s a sort of resentment that builds in her chest over him. It hurts her to think about why Lelouch decided to die willfully abandoning the boy knowing what legacy he would leave behind for his son, even if Jin had been given up and no one knew with the resemblance they share it wouldn’t take long for him and others to notice. There’s even the anger at Suzaku for locking himself away under the mask, he’s there yes but it’s never as the father the boy deserves it’s as the masked protector. But truthfully it hurts the most to never be able to tell him the truth about his fathers, their own son will grow up to believe they were evil incarnate. Nunnally can tel that having to keep his own parentage a secret is already getting to the boy, he’s conflicted about his very self and Nunnally does her best to quell his worries but she can tell there’s still so much hurt. Nunnally doesn’t regret keeping Jin instead of giving him up like was planned but even knowing how bad it could turn out later she almost wishes she hadn’t told him about his parents.
Nunnally looks up from her journal when her bedroom door is cracked open. Jin is crying so Nunnally closes the journal and opens her arms for a hug. It’s late, this time he had a nightmare he can’t remember what it was about but Nunnally comforts him and offers for him to spend the night. Through teary green eyes her nephew accepts. Nightmares aren’t rare for the boy though she’s found he’s begun trying to emulate Zero’s stoic and closed off mannerisms and not tell anyone when he has a problem. He’s barely even ten and she’s already telling him that he doesn’t have to be exactly like the hero he idolizes. Nunnally is going to find a way to kill Suzaku, weird ability to survive anything and everything be damned.