Work Text:
Instagram comment section
kelseythepup: woooow we are being fed, thank you harris 🫶
anna_c17: romance is alive and well
trulydelulou: rozanov answering every single one with bare minimum is killing me
loonie81tunes: if he doesn't treat me like that I don't want him
thathockeyvegan: hollanov are the blueprint for romance
malika.lynch: look at how cute our baby Luca is… my heart 🩷
LHaas.fan.acctt: @y.adler.official you better get on a plane RIGHT NOW
y.adler.official ✅: am I going to have to pull a Shane Hollander bare minimum and fly across the country to see my boyfriend? [liked by lucahaas.hockey and 1352 others]
↪️82 comments - tap to open
↪️NYadmirals.official ✅: we have a suggestion 👀 [liked by scotthunterofficial and 872 others]
↪️ilya.rozanov81 ✅: go away, don’t even look at him!!!!
↪️124 comments - tap to open
[94 comments tagging @grittyflyers]
peepoopeepoo: @harris.drover.social at this rate gritty will crash your wedding
↪️harris.drover.social ✅: please, I already have nightmares about it every night
grittyflyers ✅: 🙂
troy17barrett ✅: I’m starting to get scared
↪️grittyflyers ✅: 🙂
↪️surfingcvnt: never let your mouth write checks your 🍑 can’t cash
lisalovesyou ✅: I believe you when you say you could stop a car with your bare hands for me baby, just like you stop every puck coming at you ❤️
↪️hazyyyyhayes: I would do anything for you baby
↪️17 comments - tap to open (6 of those are asking why Wyatt isn’t verified but Lisa is)
cait_lynn.d: I’m still waiting for my weekly bouquet of chickens!
↪️evan.dykstra.mlh ✅: if anyone wants a dozen eggs or so, DM my wife pls we are drowning in them
↪️evan.dykstra.mlh ✅: okay I take it back, stop DMing my wife please
bellastella_onice ✅: with you, I feel like a princess every single day 👑🩷
↪️r.holmberg31 ✅: ❤️❤️❤️
↪️théolapointehockey ✅: eww get a room
shanehollanderhockeyplayer ✅: for the record, please only buy your partner things you can actually afford. financial responsibility is the real bare minimum!
↪️ilya.rozanov81 ✅: listen to princess real estate
↪️ 198 comments - tap to open
[dozens of comments with gifs of Ilya, zoomed in, screaming “NEXT!” as well as gifs of him mouthing “Bare minimum!” across the Cens parking lot]
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Holmberg’s private chats
Stella🩷🎀: baby bear you are soooo cute in that video
Bergy: I was so nervous to get smth wrong
Stella🩷🎀: lol it’s not a test baby
Stella🩷🎀: but you did great
Bergy: I need to confess smth… this whole thing was my fault
Stella🩷🎀: what do you mean?
Bergy: it started because I thought I was a bad boyfriend to you… because I forgot our halfiversary 🙁
Bergy: I told the boys you deserved to be treated like a princess so we kind of ended up collecting examples of princess treatment
Bergy: mainly by watching Roz and Holly
Bergy: but Troy caught on and I guess he must have given Harris the idea for the video
Bergy: I’m sorry my angel
Stella🩷🎀: ryry that’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard 🥹
Stella🩷🎀: and I told you I’m not mad about the halfiversary thing, you had a lot on your mind 🩷 and I loved the teddy bear, it reminds me of you
Stella🩷🎀: besides, just having you is the only thing that matters ♥️😘
Bergy: you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, I just want you to be the happiest girl in the world ❤️
Stella🩷🎀: I am bby, you make me so happy every day 🥰 I wuv you soooo much 🦔
Bergy: I wuv you too pwincess 🥹❤️ can I call you?
Stella🩷🎀: ofc ❤️
[call time: 1 h 18 min]
Pointy: dude i can hear you babytalk your gf through the walls … this is worse than rooming next to the dads… can you tone it down please
Pointy: some of us are single and sad
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Hockey Stonewall 🏳️🌈🏒
Ilya: get your fucking hands off of our son, hunter
Shane: Ilya…
Kip: ???
Scott: The fuck?
Luca: stop it, roz
Ilya: he is not going to new york anytime soon he will STAY in ottawa where he BELONGS
Luca: sorry @scott [Scott Hunter reacted to this message with a thumbs up emoji.]
Scott: It’s okay, Luca.
Ilya: don’t even talk to him, don’t look at him
Shane: Sorry guys. It’s been an emotional morning.
Harris: oh buddy
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Luca’s private chat
Luca: Ilya just called me and straight up told me not to sign with NY lol
Yannick: pretty bold for a guy from a piece of paper on your wall
Yannick: [screenshot of flight information]
Luca: omg for real????? i thought you were joking
Yannick: how could I hear you say you miss me and NOT book a ticket immediately
Yannick: I’ll be there for your game too
Luca: you have no idea how happy that makes me <3
Yannick: that’s all I want, to make you happy <3
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Troy Barrett’s private chat
Troy: Harris
Troy: HARRIS HELP
Harris: what?????? are you ok?
Troy: [image attached: screenshot of another conversation in the instagram DMs. The screenshot shows one single message received by Troy from @grittyflyers. The only content of the message is a link to the Wikipedia page for polyamory, no further commentary.]
Harris: sorry I can’t be him 😫
Troy: it’s not funny anymore!!! i’m starting to get scared fr
Harris: lol ok buddy, come to my office when you have time, then we can talk about how we’ll deal with it
Troy: that makes it sound like you want to murder Gritty
Harris: anything to protect my fiancé ♥️