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This morning started like any other morning would. Seonghwa woke up to his alarm blaring from the bedside table, a little too early for his liking, but they had places to be so what could he do about it? He dragged himself out of bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he entered the kitchen. He needed a coffee.
Halfway through making his drink, he heard the sound of the shower starting up—Mingi—as San pattered into the kitchen, singly along quietly to whatever song was in his head.
“Too early,” San mumbled, sidling up to Seonghwa and resting his head on Seonghwa’s shoulder. “Shoulder comfy. Morning Hwa.”
“Morning Sannie. Coffee?”
“Coffee sounds so good right now holy shit,” San replied. “Yes please.”
Seonghwa let out a small chuckle at his enthusiasm, pulling another mug out of the cupboard.
“Aww, I want the cat one,” San mumbled. Seonghwa rolled his eyes affectionately, putting the plain mug he’d grabbed back and grabbing San’s favourite cat mug instead. San stiffened slightly, causing Seonghwa to meet his eyes in confusion.
“What?” Seonghwa asked. San was looking at him funny.
“I swear you just read my mind,” San mumbled. “I thought I thought that. It’s too early for this.”
“Hopefully the coffee will help,” Seonghwa replied with a small laugh, turning back to their mugs to finish his coffee and start San’s. “As if I could read minds. I think you’re still half asleep, Sannie. You’re starting to imagine things.”
“Probably,” San replied, stifling a yawn as Seonghwa made their drinks. “God I wanna go back to sleep.”
It wasn’t until Mingi came bounding out of the bathroom, hair wet and mussed, dressed in a simple tshirt and jeans, that Seonghwa realised something was wrong.
San had spent the better half of Seonghwa’s coffee making escapade mumbling whatever incoherent thoughts seemed to spring to his mind, but when Mingi bounded out singing along to Crazy Form far too loudly for this time of morning in Seonghwa’s opinion, San didn’t react. He just sipped his now complete coffee, leaning against the kitchen bench, completely zoned out.
Normally San would react.
Whether it be singing along or telling Mingi to shush because it was too early, San would react.
Seonghwa glanced at San, slightly confused, then to Mingi, who most definitely wasn’t shouting the words to Crazy Form as he entered the kitchen, reaching past San and Seonghwa to grab his own mug, only some incoherent mumbles falling from his lips.
Wait, what?
Mingi’s voice was singing Crazy Form, loud and at full volume in Seonghwa’s ears right now. But his mouth was not.
His confusion must have shown on his face because now Mingi was looking at him, eyebrow raised.
“You good, Hwa?”
His mouth made those words. But he was still singing. But he wasn’t. But Seonghwa could hear it. And the sound was far too close and far too high quality to be Mingi’s phone left in the bathroom.
“I think I’m experiencing hallucinations,” Seonghwa replied.
“Shit, what. Fuck where’s my phone, do I need to call Hongjoong, or an ambulance or-” Mingi’s mouth wasn’t moving.
“Wait are you- are you joking? Do we need to call someone?” San’s mouth wasn’t moving either. “Shit we need to tell Hongjoong or a manager or something.”
“Do you need to sit down for a minute?” Mingi’s mouth said, a fraction of a second later. “Do you need some water? Have you eaten yet?”
“Wait good idea, one thing at a time,” San’s voice said, mouth still unmoving, as he placed the mug behind him and reached out a hand to Seonghwa’s shoulder.
What the fuck was going on?
“Yep. Sit down,” Seonghwa mumbled, San’s and Mingi’s words tumbling over one and other, growing louder by the second, their mouths not matching what Seonghwa was hearing as he stumbled toward the couch, sinking down into the cushions bringing his hands over his ears. Too loud. Too fucking loud.
It did approximately nothing to dull the noise, and Mingi and San’s voices were sounding more stressed by the second and it was loud, it was too loud, it was way too fucking loud.
“Shut up! Please!”
Their voices stilled. For a split second, Seonghwa was in silence, before a quiet tentative trail of words in each of their voices echoed in his ears, and San was kneeling in front of him, gently pulling one of his hands back from his ears.
“Hwa? Are you okay?” he asked, his mouth moving. But the other train of San’s words was speaking at the same time as those words came out of his mouth, and as Seonghwa tried to focus on the voice in front of him, his mind could only come up with one, frankly absurd, explanation here that wasn’t that he was going insane and would be in a mental institution by the end of the day.
“Don’t tell me, but think of a number,” Seonghwa mumbled.
“34,” San’s voice said immediately.
“105,” Mingi’s voice supplied a moment later.
“Why?” Mingi’s mouth asked.
“How likely is it that I might have developed the ability to read minds?” Seonghwa asked.
He was met with a chorus of “crazy” and “that would be insane” and “if only” and “maybe I should call Hongjoong” all at once, some of the words matching their mouths, some of them not.
“105,” Seonghwa replied, meeting Mingi’s eyes, before turning to San’s. “And 34.”
“Lucky guess?” Mingi replied, sharing a concerned glance with San, who nodded.
“That was my number though,” San replied.
“If this is legit you’ll go grab my coffee for me right now,” San’s voice said, mouth unmoving.
Seonghwa stood, moving around the couch and back into the kitchen, San and Mingi’s voices growing quieter with each step he took. He grabbed the coffee off the bench before making his way back to them, handing the coffee to San.
San’s jaw dropped, a confused flurry of words following in its wake.
“What’s your favourite game?” Mingi’s voice asked.
“Animal Crossing. Or Zelda,” Seonghwa replied.
Mingi’s jaw dropped slightly too. He and San met eyes again, for a moment, before turning back to Seonghwa, every single word that presumably went through their heads echoing in Seonghwa’s ears.
“This is insane,” San said. Seonghwa nodded. “Half of me still thinks that was a coincidence and a lucky guess, but the other-”
“-half of me is willing to give it the benefit of the doubt, because if you have somehow got magic powers that’s fucking sick,” Seonghwa finished, and San’s jaw dropped further. “And now you’re 85% convinced,” Seonghwa added with a nod toward Mingi.
“Fucking hell,” Mingi replied, mouth moving this time. “Fucking hell Seonghwa you can read minds. How the-? What the-?”
“I don’t know,” Seonghwa replied. “I don’t know, this has never happened before. I’m literally working this out as we speak.”
“This is so cool,” San’s thoughts replied, mouth still.
“It’s not cool, it’s loud,” Seonghwa replied. “Both of you talk in your brains a lot. I’m barely handling two people right now, how am I going to handle the rest of the group as well?”
Mingi seemed to think something vague about videogames, before his mouth opened. “What if there’s a range?”
Seonghwa looked up at him.
“Go stand down the end of the hallway, we’ll stand at the other end,” he said, and eager to find out any way to quieten down what felt like 100 voices in his ears, Seonghwa complied, speedwalking to the end of the hallway, and with each step he took out of their close vicinity, the words grew quieter.
And then suddenly: silence. Seonghwa stopped at the end of the hallway. San and Mingi were at the opposite end, pressed up against the front door, expressions a mix of shock, confusion and awe.
“Any change?” Mingi asked, voice carrying easily down the hallway.
“It’s quiet,” Seonghwa replied. “Completely.”
Mingi appeared to think for a moment, before nodding in satisfaction.
“So how long is this hallway?” San asked. “Or I guess how long is the range?”
Seonghwa took a tentative step forward. Still silent. Another. Hushed whispers tickled at his ears. Another. Mingi and San’s voices, quiet, but undeniably there, thoughts echoing in Seonghwa’s ears. He took a step back, to where the whispers started.
“Here,” he said. “I can start hearing you here. It’s quiet. Like you’re whispering,” he glanced to the side, making note of the door he was in front of, “and when I get closer to you it gets louder.”
“So that’s, what,” San started walking forward, taking long steps, counting in his head until he was face to face with Seonghwa, “about five metres? Six metres?”
Seonghwa nodded, before taking a few steps back, San doing the same, retreating to Mingi.
“How the fuck am I going to manage today?” Seonghwa grumbled. “I can’t stay five metres from everyone all the time. But it feels like an invasion of privacy to be reading someone’s thoughts.”
“You could call in sick, and just stay home today?” Mingi suggested.
Seonghwa shook his head. “I can’t do that, we’ve got too much on today. And Hongjoong will worry if I’m so sick I have to call out.”
“You could pretend to be a little bit sick,” San said. “Wear a mask, let the others know. People will at least keep their distance a bit that way. Probably not five metres worth of distance but enough to keep it a little quieter?”
“Maybe,” Seonghwa replied with a groan. He did not need something like this happening when they were literally filming their music video today. “Just… just keep getting ready. We’re gonna be late if we don’t get a move on. Don’t think anything stupid if you’re close to me.”
“Yes sir,” Mingi replied, mock salute, as Seonghwa pushed open the bathroom door and slipped in, letting it fall shut behind him.
“Wait,” Seonghwa called out. “One of you come stand by the door and think really hard.”
He heard a pattering of feet in the hallway. “I’m thinking really hard about what I want for lunch right now,” Mingi said, voice muffled.
Nothing.
Seonghwa let out a sigh of relief. Temporary solution discovered. At least if it all got too much today he could retreat to the bathroom or something. He couldn’t lock himself away all day, but it was better than nothing.
“I can’t hear you through the door,” Seonghwa replied. “Thank goodness.”
“That’s something, at least,” Mingi replied. “Now go shower or we’ll be late, just like you said.”
“On it,” Seonghwa replied. He needed it after this morning’s discovery. How on earth had this even happened?
Seonghwa’s headphones were his saving grace as the three of them made their way to the filming location for today. It didn’t block out Mingi and San and their driver’s thoughts, per say, but listening to music definitely helped quieten them. And it gave him something else to focus his own thoughts on, rather than whatever ramblings flowed through the other’s heads. He was beginning to be able to recognise the difference between their talking voices and thinking voices, which helped as well. The cadence was slightly different, and their trains of thought didn’t hesitate or stumble over words like they might when they were talking, and the volume didn’t change between whispered, talking, or shouting in their thoughts either. And there was a slight difference in the way it felt in his ears. Spoken words made a tiny, almost unnoticeable physical feeling in his ears. He supposed it was something to do with sound waves and vibrations. Thoughts left nothing. A distinct feeling of something missing helped to identify what was thought and what was spoken without having to actually look at them.
He’d texted the group chat that he’d woken with a bit of a cold, so to keep a bit of a distance from him today, not that he expected it to do much, but he hoped at least some of them would give him at least a little bit of space so as not to send him insane.
He’d considered just straight up telling the others about what had happened this morning. He really wanted to, honestly. It felt invasive and cruel to them to keep the fact that he could literally hear their thoughts from them, but Mingi and San had talked him out of it, at least out of mentioning it straight away. They had a big day with filming, and they didn’t want to throw their dynamics off. And there was any chance they’d think he was making it up. In fact, that was the most probable reaction.
Seonghwa could still barely believe what was happening himself.
Eventually they arrived at the filming location, a large multi story building, people bustling around back and forth on the street, and the moment Seonghwa stepped out of the car his ears echoed with so many different trains of thought that it was impossible to focus on what a single one was even saying. And it was loud.
He must have winced, pushing his headphones more firmly against his ears, because a moment later San’s arm was linking with his and pulling him through the front door into the building. A huge, mall-like place, the centre of the building was open, balconies looking down into the middle, huge pillars supporting everything, and far too many people milling around for Seonghwa’s liking.
They were quickly found by a staff member, who was thinking very intently about what she wanted for lunch, as she guided them up the escalators and every which way to the level where they were shooting.
A large restaurant and bar set up, all red lighting and velvety floors and deep wood furnishing. The set was fantastic, and Seonghwa really wished it didn’t feel like a billion people were talking to him at once because he could barely appreciate the detail that had been put into it like he so desperately wanted to. And before he could take it in even a moment later, the three of them were being shuffled away towards the dressing and makeup set up, to find the rest of the group already there.
Unsurprisingly, Wooyoung basically launched at San, as if they didn’t see each other literally every day, and a moment later Seonghwa was blessed, or maybe cursed, with far more information than he ever needed to know about how attractive Wooyoung thought San was, especially in his current outfit and… yeah Seonghwa should have expected that. He should have seen that coming.
Suddenly his eyes caught Hongjoong’s, who was already sitting in front of one the mirrors, outfit on while one of the makeup noonas shuffled around with her makeup supplies in front of him, clearly looking for something specific. He waved at Seonghwa, a small beckoning motion, and as if on autopilot Seonghwa’s feet started pulling him towards Hongjoong.
And his heart was absolutely racing in his chest, throat feeling tight as a sudden spout of anxiety pooled in his stomach, because he was about to hear Hongjoong’s thoughts. Hongjoong’s thoughts. His raw, unfiltered thoughts, and how exactly it was he felt about Seonghwa.
Because Seonghwa would absolutely be lying if he said he wasn’t kind of very much in love with his best friend. If he hadn’t been very much in love with him for a long time.
He didn’t know when exactly it had happened. But some time within the past 10 years, Seonghwa had fallen completely and tragically in love with Kim Hongjoong and, for fear of ruining everything between them, everything they had, everything the rest of Ateez had, he’d locked those feelings deep deep inside where they could never escape.
But sometimes Seonghwa got a feeling that they might be reciprocated. Sometimes he’d catch Hongjoong staring at him, sometimes Hongjoong would say things to Seonghwa, or act in a certain way around Seonghwa, that had Seonghwa’s mind reeling because he was so sure Hongjoong didn’t act that way around the others, or look at the others that way or say those sorts of things to the others. And then sometimes Hongjoong would distance himself, or pull away, and any hope that Seonghwa had had that his feelings might be reciprocated would sizzle out, leaving Seonghwa wishing beyond anything that he could understand what exactly Hongjoong was thinking about him. And yesterday had been one of those days. Hongjoong had barely had time for him at their schedules and had locked himself up in his studio as soon as those were over, and his responses to Seonghwa’s messages had been dry, leaving Seonghwa lying in bed staring at the ceiling, wishing he could have any sort of idea of what exactly was going through Hongjoong’s mind to make him push and pull from Seonghwa so much and-
Oh.
Maybe that had something to do with Seonghwa’s little (big) situation. For some reason the stars must have taken pity on him and answered his wishful, love sick thinking with the ability to literally read minds. For fuck’s sake.
And as Seonghwa’s feet dragged him into Hongjoong’s orbit, Hongjoong’s train of thought seemed to absolutely deafen every single other persons’ that was echoing in his ears.
“-absolutely beautiful. Not fair that you’re that beautiful without makeup. Holy shit.”
Oh.
Hongjoong reached out a hand to Seonghwa, taking his hand gently. “How are you feeling?” he asked. “Pretty hands. Such pretty hands.” His thumb traced a small circle into Seonghwa’s palm. “If you’re too sick to work, let me know. You can go home and rest—please don’t have to go. I want you here. I missed you. Wow Hongjoong, it hasn’t even been 12 hours and you already missed him—and we’ll organise something else and you can film your parts tomorrow or the day after—please don’t go.”
Oh.
Maybe this is what the stars had wanted him to hear.
“I’ll be okay,” Seonghwa replied, praying his voice wasn’t shaking as much as it felt like his body was.
“You sure? Please stay.”
“I’m sure,” Seonghwa replied.
“Oh my god can Hongjoong stop flirting with Seonghwa for once please-” Seonghwa glanced up to see the makeup noona glancing between them, makeup found as she stood poised in front of Hongjoong, waiting impatiently.
“Makeup,” Seonghwa mumbled, meeting Hongjoong’s eyes again and nodding towards her waiting hand. Hongjoong did a double take, before mumbling out a quick apology as he turned back and allowed her to start on his eye shadow.
“I need to get Hwa to do my makeup one day, that would be so… yes. That would. I would probably die. That would be so attractive. God his hands on my face would be so… yes. That would be so fun. He’s so pretty. Not fair how pretty he is. Is he watching? Oh shit he’s watching, be cool Hongjoong, be cool…”
Okay wow. This was. Seonghwa needed a minute to process this.
“I’m gonna go dressed,” he said, and he was sure his voice was shaking slightly. He hoped Hongjoong couldn’t tell. “I’ll… I’ll be back.”
“Okay, don’t be too long—no~ please don’t go—you still need to get your makeup and hair done.”
“I’ll be quick,” Seonghwa replied, stepping back, hand slipping out of Hongjoong’s because oh, he was still holding it, Hongjoong’s train of thought quieting as Seonghwa slipped out of his orbit and crossed over to the where San was grabbing his own outfit from the rack.
“So how was flirting with Hongjoong?”
Seonghwa stilled, hand halfway to the hanger that had his name on it.
“Shut up,” he mumbled, and San let out an audible giggle. Seonghwa thought it slightly unfair that this wasn’t a two way street. And he suddenly regretted having ever let San know about his feelings for Hongjoong in the first place. It had been a spur of the moment thing, they’d been drunk and Hongjoong had been flirting with him but neither of them making an actual move and Seonghwa had been so close to exploding that he needed to tell at least someone about it before he combusted on the spot. And, unfortunately for Seonghwa’s delusions, San had been entirely supportive of Seonghwa’s crush and was convinced Hongjoong liked him back.
And now Seonghwa was thinking San was right.
“Never. You. Me. Change room. Now. You’re telling me everything.”
Seonghwa sighed, grabbing the hangers with his outfit from the rack, following San to the change rooms, trying to focus his mind in on only his own train of thought so the excessive noise of all the other trains of thoughts didn’t overwhelm him. They entered, the door falling shut behind them, and everything went quiet. Seonghwa sighed.
“Spill,” San said, pulling off his shirt and tossing it on the chair, as he unhooked the black silk button up shirt he had to wear from its hanger.
Seonghwa followed suit, pulling off his own hoodie and tshirt to begin getting dressed.
“He… he thinks I’m beautiful…” Seonghwa replied, the words coming out quietly. He barely believed them himself. “He thinks my hands are pretty. He offered that if I need to go home I can, but he didn’t want me to. And when the makeup noona started doing his makeup again he was thinking about me doing his makeup and-”
Seonghwa buried his face in his hands, the flowy snake skin patterned shirt he’d put on not even done up, face warm and heart bouncing dangerously around in his chest because what the fuck had Hongjoong been thinking?
“Oh, he’s so down bad,” San replied, buttoning up his pants. “I’ve been telling you this Hwa, he’s obsessed with you.”
“You can’t just say that~,” Seonghwa mumbled, blushing further. “Surely it’s not that simple.”
“I think it is that simple,” San replied. “You’re in love with each other. And now you can hear his thoughts to confirm it. Now go do something about it. Please. For all our sake. Hurry up and get changed first though.”
“I hate you,” Seonghwa replied, changing into the slacks he’d been given, as San crossed over to him, already dressed, shirt half unbuttoned because that was the vibe of the In Your Fantasy music video, and Seonghwa was simultaneously terrified and incredibly excited to hear Hongjoong’s thoughts about his own outfit. San’s hands found Seonghwa’s shirt, doing up the buttons for him as Seonghwa slipped on the sparkly black leather jacket he was given, and then San stepped back, allowing Seonghwa to have a quick look in the mirror.
“We look… hot,” Seonghwa breathed out.
“Hongjoong’s gonna love this Hwa—yes, we do—he’s gonna have a fucking field day.”
“Wooyoung’s gonna have a field day with you as well,” Seonghwa replied, giggling at the blush that crept up San’s cheeks.
“I sure hope so,” San replied. “Being my boyfriend and all.”
“Just don’t think too much about him if he comes over tonight,” Seonghwa shot back. “I’d like to sleep please.”
And then an unwarranted vision of being pinned under Wooyoung slipped into Seonghwa’s mind and Seonghwa let out a surprised squeak.
“Actually, I take it back, please never think again,” Seonghwa replied. “That was too much information. I really don’t need to know what Wooyoung looks like when you’re having sex with him.”
San’s eyes widened, first in shock and then in glee. “Oh my god you can see thoughts as well? I am so using this for evil.”
Seonghwa groaned. “I actually hate you so much.”
“You love me,” San replied, stepping back to find the door.
“Unfortunately,” Seonghwa grumbled in reply, as San pushed open the door and several trains of thought of those walking past echoed in his ears.
“Now, let’s go get our makeup done,” San said, grabbing Seonghwa’s hand and pulling him back through the pulsing throng of people towards where the others were getting their makeup done.
“Fucking hell San,” Wooyoung thought as San sat down in the empty seat next to him while Seonghwa moved past. “I have nothing appropriate to say, oh my god. Please pin me against a wall and make out with me immediately holy shit.”
“Seonghwa, Seonghwa,” San thought, catching his attention. Seonghwa met his gaze. “He wants me so bad, right?”
Seonghwa nodded, and San grinned, before Seonghwa turned back to the empty seat next to Hongjoong, as the makeup noona sprayed hair spray over his hair, a hand over his eyes. A moment later she removed her hand, and Hongjoong seemed to do a double take before his eyes landed on Seonghwa, and-
“I- oh my god. Oh my god Seonghwa. Holy shit. Wow. Please make out with me—you look- you look good Hwa. Really- really good—wow nice job Hongjoong. Totally nailed it. Can’t even make a proper sentence in front of Hwa. Fucking hell he’s so hot that should be illegal. And he doesn’t even have makeup on yet what the fuck.”
“Thank you Joong. You look really good too,” Seonghwa replied as he sat down, cheeks burning, hoping the blush wasn’t as obvious as it felt as the makeup noona sprayed a bit more spray on the back of Hongjoong’s hair before turning her attention to him.
“Wow, loser complement Hongjoong,” she thought. “You’re all good to go Hongjoong.”
“Thanks,” Hongjoong replied. “I don’t wanna go, I wanna watch Hwa get his makeup done. Not fair. He’s so hot, and pretty and handsome and god this is so unfair how can he look like that so casually. This is illegal. I’m calling the police. I need a drink of water. Fuck,” he stood up, meeting Seonghwa’s eyes in the mirror for a moment with a soft smile, and as he began to walk away Seonghwa was blessed with a vision of himself and Hongjoong in a bathroom stall, lips locked and hands under each other’s shirts, and wow, that wasn’t his own vision. That was Hongjoong’s.
And then Hongjoong stepped out of orbit and the vision slipped away and heat was coursing through his veins like fire.
If Hongjoong’s earlier thoughts hadn’t confirmed anything, these ones definitely did.
Hongjoong was absolutely, undeniably obsessed with Seonghwa.
San was right. He was really, actually right.
Seonghwa could have cried. If he didn’t have the makeup noona starting to dab foundation onto his face he might have. Because holy shit, his feelings were requited.
How many years had it been? How many years had they been dancing around each other? Both too scared to make the move that needed to be made?
Now it was just up to Seonghwa to finally make that move and do something about this knowledge.
Not now. Not here. They had filming to do. But later. After today’s schedules. When they, undoubtedly, all headed back to one or the other of the apartments to watch movies and order takeout together. That’s when Seonghwa would make his move.
Fortunately for Seonghwa’s self restraint, he didn’t see Hongjoong for the next hour. He was gone watching Yunho’s filming while Seonghwa got his hair and makeup done, and then Seonghwa was being rushed off to film his own parts.
He was tasked first with pouring wine into wine glasses, a whole bunch of them spread out on a table, lighting around him dark and shadowy, a spotlight highlighting his face and making him stand out against the deep redness of the environment.
Before he’d even done two takes, following the director’s instructions, trying his best to focus on her train of thought to pick up on how he could improve with the words she couldn’t articulate, Hongjoong appeared.
He did his best to ignore him, ignore Hongjoong’s rampant thoughts as they went in for the third take, droplets of wine splashing onto his jacket with the growing pool on the table, but they echoed in his ears and Seonghwa could feel the blood rushing to his cheeks.
“Shit. I did not know pouring wine could be so attractive. What the hell Hwa? Oh shit he’s looking at me, lock in Hongjoong. Play it cool.”
Seonghwa held in the little laugh that threatened to escape, quirking his lips in a small smile before turning his eyes back to the camera, as they went in for another take.
“Nice one. I think I played that off well. God that curly hair is good. Don’t know how he managed to get more attractive but someone fucking help me cause I am not god’s strongest soldier holy shit.”
And as Seonghwa readied himself for the next take Hongjoong’s thoughts darted to a vision of the two of them kissing again, Hongjoong’s fingers threading through Seonghwa’s hair, curled as it was now, Seonghwa’s hands on his waist.
Seonghwa’s stomach squirmed with giddiness. He could do that. Tonight if he didn’t wimp out at the last moment. He could give Hongjoong everything and anything either of them had fantasised about. The music video they were filming seemed very fitting suddenly.
Hongjoong seemed to break himself away from the vision a moment later, as Seonghwa finished the take.
“God I hope no one can read minds here, that’d be embarrassing as hell,” Hongjoong thought, and Seonghwa almost burst out laughing at the absurdity of it all. “If anyone can read minds here I’m very sorry. I’m incredibly gay for Seonghwa. I can’t help what my brain comes up with. I mean, have you seen him? Who wouldn’t be in love with him?”
Seonghwa’s self restraint was growing thinner with every thought Hongjoong had. He tried to zone out Hongjoong’s thoughts for the next take, and as that one finished the director nodded at him with approval.
“That one was good, thank you Seonghwa. Let’s move onto the next one.” She turned her attention to Hongjoong. “We’ve got a few more shots to film for Seonghwa, but you’ll be up next,” she said. “If you need to do anything we’ll be ready for you in about an hour.”
Hongjoong nodded. “Thank you,” he said, before his eyes met Seonghwa’s again with a smile. “I think I’d rather stay here and watch Hwa, though. My pretty, pretty Hwa.”
Seonghwa was sure the blush on his face must have been obvious, but even if it was, no one mentioned anything as they moved onto the next shot.
By the time they stopped for a lunch break, Yunho, Seonghwa and Hongjoong’s solo scenes were all filmed. Yunho opted to hang back as a group started preparing for Mingi’s scenes, that they’d be filming after the break, leaving Hongjoong and Seonghwa alone as they decided to go get something to eat from the food court downstairs.
“What do you wanna eat?” Hongjoong asked, as they started down the escalator. Fortunately there wasn’t anyone within close proximity of them, so Seonghwa could focus entirely on Hongjoong.
“I could really go for gimbap right now… yeah gimbap sounds really good. Would Hwa wanna share gimbap with me maybe? God he’s looking at me in that way that’s so unfair. Please stop. I don’t think I can resist kissing you much longer.”
If Seonghwa had to put up with this, with Hongjoong’s thoughts, for the entire rest of the day, surely he could at least have a little fun with it, right?
“How about gimbap?” Seonghwa suggested, as if Hongjoong hadn’t just thought very intently about how much he wanted it. Hongjoong’s eyes lit up.
“I was thinking of that too. Do you wanna share?”
Seonghwa nodded. “I’d be down.”
“Yes~. Would he let me feed him? That would be so cute. Oh but we’re in public. Might not get away with that in public. Ugh. Surely we do a movie night tonight and I flirt obnoxiously with him. I’m sure if I suggest a Star Wars movie Hwa will come over. Then while he’s focused on the movie I can have uninterrupted staring-at-Seonghwa time. God he’s so pretty. Oh shit, lock in, don’t trip over the bottom of the escalator. Do not need to embarrass myself like that again. Success. Oh god his hand just brushed mine. I wanna hold his hand so bad holy shit. And… onto the next escalator successfully. Congrats Hongjoong. You’re not a loser. HOLY SHIT HE’S HOLDING MY HAND. ABORT MISSION HE’S HOLDING MY HAND. SHIT. SHIT SHIT SHIT.”
Seonghwa couldn’t hide the grin from spreading across his face. He was just glad Hongjoong wasn’t looking at him.
“I know we’ve got an early start tomorrow,” Seonghwa started, ready to destroy Hongjoong’s sanity even more, “but do you reckon we could do a movie tonight? It’s been a while since we watched a Star Wars movie and I kinda wanna watch one again.”
“Okay so like it kinda feels like he’s reading my mind now. Stalker—Yeah, we could do that. If we put it on as soon as we get back from here, we should be able to finish it in a reasonable amount of time—hell yes. Staring-at-Seonghwa time. My favourite. Maybe he’ll even let me lie on his lap. That would be nice. I hope he runs his fingers through my hair. That’s the best feeling ever. Seonghwa you better not be reading my mind right now or I’m jumping off the escalator in embarrassment—What one do you wanna watch?”
“Not sure,” Seonghwa replied, squeezing Hongjoong’s hand a little tighter, in a way that he hoped seemed casual, but had Hongjoong’s thoughts reeling a second later as they stepped off the escalator and started along the balcony toward the chatter and bustling sounds of the food court.
“Okay wow genuinely what is happening though? Why is Hwa holding my hand? I’m not sane enough for this. This is bullying. My stomach keeps doing the thing, god. Not fair. Oooh the food smells good.”
Hongjoong’s hand tightened on Seonghwa’s slightly, pulling him forward at a faster pace until they reached the, unfortunately for Seonghwa, crowded food court. As soon as they drew close, what felt like a hundred trains of thought echoed in Seonghwa’s ears and he winced.
Of course Hongjoong noticed.
“You okay?”
“Mhm,” Seonghwa replied, trying to feign normalcy. “Just kinda loud. Let’s find the gimbap.”
“As long as you’re okay…”
“I’m fine, Joong. Pinky promise.”
Hongjoong let out a small sigh. “Okay. Gimbap.”
They traipsed past the various shops, looking for gimbap, but it was quickly growing too loud, and Seonghwa could no longer distinguish one person's thoughts from another. Not even Hongjoong’s. His mind was beginning to grow fuzzy and he could feel the panic setting in, heart in his throat.
“Ah, there it is!” Hongjoong said, pointing to a shop a few metres away, but when he turned back to meet Seonghwa’s eyes, his expression dropped. “Hwa?”
“Too loud,” Seonghwa managed out amongst the chaos in his ears. “Too much. Too loud.” He wasn’t even sure if Hongjoong could hear him, but he must’ve because suddenly he was being dragged forward, vision blurring and what felt like both a second and several minutes later, he was being dragged through a doorway, and the door shut behind them and all the noise went quiet.
Seonghwa opened his eyes slowly—when had he even closed them?—to find himself in a toilet cubicle with Hongjoong, standing close to him, the closed toilet behind him knocking at the back of his legs.
“Is everything okay?” Hongjoong asked, as Seonghwa let his head fall against Hongjoong’s shoulder. “You seemed really stressed back there? Do we need to go home early?”
Hongjoong’s empty hand found Seonghwa’s hair, gently running his fingers through it, the other squeezing his fingers tightly as Seonghwa focused on breathing, focused on the feeling of Hongjoong’s hand in his hair, trying to calm his mind after the overwhelming noise outside.
“So soft… just like I thought. No Hongjoong. Focus. Seonghwa isn’t well. Focus.”
A small smile graced Seonghwa’s lips, not that Hongjoong could see, and he nuzzled slightly into Hongjoong’s shoulder in a way that he knew would probably have Hongjoong flushing.
“Just. Loud,” Seonghwa replied quietly. “Way too loud. Don’t know why.”
“Maybe you’re a little more sick than you realised,” Hongjoong replied softly. “Might be making you more sensitive to the noise.”
“Maybe,” Seonghwa replied.
“Do you… wanna go home early?” Hongjoong asked. “Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes—we’re both pretty much done with our filming for today. Yunho will keep the rest of the kids in line. We can get our gimbap and go watch that Star Wars movie. The others will get home when they’re done with their own filming—please say yes Hwa. I wanna watch movies with you. I feel like we don’t get much time for just us anymore. And I like taking care of you. Please Hwa.”
“I… yeah. Yeah that sounds nice.”
Hongjoong’s hand squeezed his tighter.
“Good. Good. If you wanna go straight back to get changed I can grab the gimbap and meet you up there? Get a grip Hongjoong. For god’s sake please get a grip.”
“Yeah,” Seonghwa replied. “I’ll do that. Just need another minute though.”
“Of course,” Hongjoong replied, and oh, was that Hongjoong’s lips on Seonghwa’s hair?
“Oh god why did I just do that. Stupid Hongjoong. Stupid stupid. What if he thinks that was weird. He’s not being weird though. Okay maybe that was okay. Good. Okay. It’s fine. I’m fine. He’s fine. This is fine. I’m not going insane. God his hair is so soft this isn’t okay. Genuinely actually going to combust what the fuck. You ready now?”
“Mhm,” Seonghwa replied, lifting his head from Hongjoong’s shoulder. “I think so.”
“You know how to get back, right? His eyes… god his eyes. I love his eyes. The prettiest eyes.”
As if Hongjoong didn’t have the prettiest eyes ever as well.
“Yeah, I know the way,” he replied.
“Good. Let’s… let’s go then, hey?”
Seonghwa nodded, as Hongjoong turned around to unlock the door and, with a quick peak through the gap, he let them out into the bathroom. They made their way, still hand in hand, out of the bathroom and down the hallway and back to the food court, and almost immediately the thoughts echoed around in Seonghwa’s ears and he winced, and Hongjoong nodded toward the escalators.
“Go. I’ve got this,” he said. Seonghwa nodded, letting Hongjoong’s hand slip from his as he speed walked through the food court and back toward the escalators, letting out a sigh of relief as he found the quiet.
Hongjoong’s thoughts were going wild as they were driven back to Seonghwa, San and Mingi’s apartment in relative quiet. He was giddy and excited and sounded like a love sick obsessed teenager in Seonghwa’s ears, and it was kind of adorable.
He’d gotten them gimbap and noodles and bubble tea, and Seonghwa felt a little bad that he’d spent so much on food for him, but by the sound of Hongjoong’s thoughts, he didn’t seem to care a bit.
As they thanked the driver and headed up the elevator, Seonghwa’s hand found Hongjoong’s again, sending Hongjoong’s thoughts spiralling, until Seonghwa let them through the door and they collapsed on the couch.
Seonghwa grabbed the remote, flicking through the channels until he found the one he wanted, and pulled up the first movie. Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. A full rewatch over the next few weeks sounded like fun. And what better time to start?
Hongjoong had all their food out on the coffee table by the time Seonghwa pressed play, and was already starting on the gimbap. He handed Seonghwa a pair of chopsticks, thoughts reeling as their fingers brushed.
But they seemed to quieten as Hongjoong’s mind focused in on the movie, and Seonghwa’s thoughts soon followed suit, as they ate away at their food absent mindedly.
At some point they got down to the last gimbap, and Hongjoong leaned forward to grab it with his chopsticks, hesitating when he picked it up, before he turned to Seonghwa and held it out in front of him.
“Here,” Hongjoong said. He looked like he expected Seonghwa to take the chopsticks from him, so instead Seonghwa leaned forward and took the food straight into his mouth instead.
“Fuck. That was cute. You’re terrible for my heart, Seonghwa.”
Soon they finished their food, and before Seonghwa knew it, Hongjoong was boldly laying down on Seonghwa’s lap. Seonghwa immediately started threading his fingers through Hongjoong’s hair, relishing in the way Hongjoong’s thoughts went panicked for a moment at the sudden touch, before relaxing into him and slipping away completely.
They shuffled around a few times, until by midway through the movie Seonghwa was lying along the length of the couch with his back propped against the arm with a pillow behind him, Hongjoong laying on top of him, head on his chest as Seonghwa continued to play with his hair.
“God, you look so kissable right now,” Hongjoong thought suddenly, in a quiet moment of the movie.
Seonghwa couldn’t have schooled his expression, even if he’d tried. Now felt like the time. Time to rip the bandaid. “Kissable you say?”
Hongjoong stiffened. “Shit. Did I say that outloud? Idiot Hongjoong. Idiot idiot idiot.”
“No,” Seonghwa replied. “You didn’t say that outloud.”
“Huh? Am I going crazy? What’s- what’s happening?”
“You’re not going crazy,” Seonghwa replied.
“Then what- Seonghwa are you reading my mind?!”
“Maybe,” Seonghwa nodded. Then a beat later, “Yes. Yes I am.”
“What the fuck. I don’t believe you,” he clamped a hand over his mouth as if to prove something, “you can’t read minds. That’s not physically possible. That’s only a thing in movies and stuff. Wait, if I think something random then you’ll never guess it. Did you know kangaroos can’t walk backwards?”
“I didn’t know that actually,” Seonghwa replied. “Emus can’t walk backwards either, right?”
Hongjoong’s jaw dropped. And then a deep blush crept up his cheeks.
“Okay. Fine. Assuming that wasn’t just a coincidence and a whole bunch of really lucky guesses, and you are in fact reading my mind… how long has this been going on for?”
“Since this morning…” Seonghwa mumbled. The red in Hongjoong’s cheeks deepened. “I realised when Sannie and I were making coffee and Mingi came out of the bathroom singing, but he wasn’t actually singing.”
“So how many of my thoughts have you heard today…?”
“Most of them,” Seonghwa replied, laughing a little as Hongjoong let out an embarrassed groan, burying his face in Seonghwa’s chest.
“I’m killing myself. That’s so embarrassing.”
“I’d rather you didn’t,” Seonghwa replied. “I like having you alive, Hongjoong.”
“I’m very sorry you had to witness all my stupid thoughts today. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, I shouldn’t be thinking those sorts of things about you anyway. Wasn’t very appropriate of me. Please forgive me. Please don’t let things be awkward. I don’t want to lose you.”
“You could never lose me, Hongjoong,” Seonghwa replied softly, reaching out a hand to lift Hongjoong’s face from his chest, to look at him. “Do you still think I look kissable right now?”
“No. Yes. So kissable it hurts.”
“Do you want to kiss me right now?”
“Please.”
Seonghwa leaned forward, heart racing as he crossed the distance, and met his lips to Hongjoong’s.
Both their minds went blank.
And then a moment later Hongjoong melted into Seonghwa’s hold, and Seonghwa adjusted slightly so Hongjoong was sitting on his lap more comfortably, and Hongjoong’s lips were moving against his and now Seonghwa was melting and it was everything they’d both dreamed of.
Seonghwa found Hongjoong’s hands, not breaking away as he lifted them to his shoulders, and Hongjoong’s fingers immediately slipped into Seonghwa’s hair. Seonghwa found Hongjoong’s waist, squeezing lightly as a small hum of delight slipped out of Hongjoong’s lips, and he pulled away, breathing heavily, resting their foreheads together, fingers still in Seonghwa’s hair.
“Do you still wanna make out in a bathroom stall?” Seonghwa breathed. Hongjoong somehow grew redder than he already was.
“I definitely wouldn’t complain if we somehow ended up in a bathroom stall together tomorrow and you were inclined to kiss me while we were there—please, please, please, please, please.”
“I’m sure we can fit that in between takes somewhere.”
Hongjoong grinned. “Does this… does this mean—Hwa are you also tragically in love with me? Do you wanna be boyfriends? Because I would really really like to be boyfriends with you, I’ve kind of wanted that for years and wow I’m rambling I’m so sorry.”
“Yes,” Seonghwa replied, and his heart was racing in his chest, because finally, finally Hongjoong could be his. “Yes I want to be your boyfriend. And yes I’ve also been in love with you forever. And it’s cute when you ramble.”
“You’re gonna be the death of me. Please kiss me again.”
Seonghwa crossed the gap, pressing his lips against Hongjoong’s again, a soft, sweet kiss, before he suddenly remembered something Hongjoong had thought and pulled back with a laugh, Hongjoong chasing his lips eagerly.
“Is it true that you tripped on an escalator?”
Hongjoong’s expression dropped, morphing into one of embarrassment, his hands coming away from Seonghwa’s hair to cover his face.
“Shut up,” Hongjoong groaned. Seonghwa laughed. “I’m still traumatised.”
“Please tell me someone got a video of it.”
“No, I was on my own—don’t think about Jongho or Yeosang, don’t think about Jongho or Yeosang, don’t think about Jongho or Yeosang.”
“I think I should text Jongho and Yeosang-”
“Please no~ it was so humiliating.”
“If you give me another kiss I’ll think about forgetting it…”
“Gladly.”
Hongjoong lips met his again, pressing with more fervour this time, as they melted into each other, and suddenly Seonghwa was glad about his little predicament.
The next morning, at a far too early hour, they rolled out of Seonghwa’s bed. Hongjoong’s hair was dishevelled and Seonghwa’s pyjama shirt was slipping off his shoulder but he looked cute and adorable and everything Seonghwa loved about him.
It wasn’t until they padded into the kitchen, Seonghwa pulling a half asleep Hongjoong behind him, fingers linked, and San giving Seonghwa a questioning side eye, that Seonghwa realised it was weirdly quiet.
He couldn’t… Oh. He couldn’t hear anyone's thoughts.
“Are you thinking about anything right now?” Seonghwa asked San, as San passed him a mug.
“Huh? Yeah I was thinking about Woo. I’m surprised you’re not looking at me with disgust right now…”
“You… are? I can’t hear any of it. Does that mean it’s gone?”
“Maybe,” San replied. “Weird. One whole day of mind reading. How does that even happen? Maybe it was a collective hallucination.”
Mingi padded into the kitchen a moment later, scrunching up his face in disgust as he looked at San.
“Way too much information dude. I do not need to know how Wooyoung sounds when you’re having sex.”
San and Seonghwa both turned to Mingi in unison.
“Mingi. He didn’t say anything.”
Mingi’s expression dropped, as he clutched his empty mug tightly.
“You… didn’t say that outloud?”
“No…” San replied. “I didn’t.”
Oh god. Not again.
Mingi’s mouth dropped open in surprise, face slowly morphing from horror to delight. “Holy shit. Wait, Seonghwa, can you still hear my thoughts?” Seonghwa shook his head.
“Nope. Seems to have disappeared.”
“Aww… so we can’t communicate telepathically. Dammit.”
“It appears not.”
“But you know what this does mean?” he asked with a grin. “I can finally see if Yeosang’s in love with me.”
And a moment later he was gone, skipping down the hallway, mug still in hand as he slipped into the bathroom, far too large a grin on his face for 4am in the morning.
“What’s happening?” Hongjoong mumbled suddenly, apparently waking up a bit more.
“Mingi’s got the mind reading now,” Seonghwa replied, pressing a kiss to his cheek, as San poured coffee into their three mugs.
“Mkay,” Hongjoong replied, clearly not fully registering Seonghwa’s words.
“Don’t think too hard,” Seonghwa mumbled with a small smile, pressing a kiss to Hongjoong’s hair as he passed him one of the mugs. “Now drink up, we’ve got places to be.”
“Mhm.”
Hongjoong sipping at his coffee, disheveled and tired as he slowly woke up might have been one of the cutest things Seonghwa had ever seen, and Seonghwa was thinking he’d never been more thankful for the chaos he’d experienced yesterday.
He just hoped Mingi wouldn’t cause too much trouble.