Chapter Text
A blinding light surrounded everything that the eye could see.
For the first time in so long, his mind was quiet. He took in a desperate breath, before feeling the instant, intense pressure rushing back to his skull.
He pointlessly grabbed his head, knowing that soon, the pain would be numbed out anyway, like it did before.
He looked around, trying to find anything, regardless of the painful glow burning his eyes. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, until he noticed a small silhouette in the corner of his vision.
He quickly looked to it, only to notice that it was already gone. He blinked, and in front of him, there was a familiar face.
‘You found me.’
< D3rlord3 > Avery?
< D3rlord3 > You shouldn’t be here.
‘I am not.’
He responded, with slight smug in his voice.
‘You know I’m not.’
…
‘It didn’t take long for me to come over, did it?
Now, it will be just you and me, for eternity.’
< D3rlord3 > Not nice to me either.
< D3rlord3 > Will you just look like Avery now? What’s up with that?
‘I thought you knew everything!’ He joked, before continuing.
‘I’m just what your subconscious wants me to be.
I thought it could be easier to negotiate if i acted just how you wanted me to.
…
I am speaking quite foolishly. Are i not? It is impossible to relish in such informality…
But, if pretending to be that stupid player makes my business any easier, than I could do it for a million years straight.’
He paced around D3rlord3, slowing going around a circle.
‘A bit silly, isn’t it? You care so much, yet you haven’t really had a chat with him about anything else but this whole thing. Do you regret it? Not spending time with him?’
Derek looked down, with an expression barely readable.
‘You know everything about him. Every uncomfortable secret, every embarrassing moment, every single stupid thing he did as a kid.
Can he say the same?’
The pace kept going, this time faster.
‘You know you don’t want it to end like this. You want to ask him things, hear him trip over his words and laugh the embarrassment off.
Even if you know what he’ll say.
You want to tell him about your life, too. To let him know at least a bit about you, a small percent of what you know about him. But you didn’t get that chance.’
The walking stopped. He stayed still, now standing beside the knight.
‘You would trade away humanity for him if you could, wouldn’t you?’
< D3rlord3 > No.
< D3rlord3 > I would not.
‘Yeah, you wouldn’t; sacrificing humanity would mean sacrificing him too. A tough deal.’
< D3rlord3 > I would not end the lives of millions just to save one.
< D3rlord3 > That is quite the exact reason why i gave up on myself.
“Avery” looked the other way, lips curved up, giving a sarcastic smile.
‘You are quite the hero, huh. Putting off your own interests to please the people who don’t even care if you’re dead or alive.
You know who does care about you? The one you left alone, sobbing, in new years.
Do you feel selfish?’
The only thing in the air was the gaping silence.
‘Derek?’
< D3rlord3 > Don’t call me that.
‘I’m sorry, Derek. Won’t happen again. The point I’m trying to make is that you can undo all that happened. Simply repeat the spell, and you’ll be back with your dear boyfriend.’
< D3rlord3 > Friend.
‘I know that’s not what you want.
We wouldn’t be having this conversation if it wasn’t for your best interest.’
Being now in the same body, and essentially, the same mind, made knowing what D3rlord thought much easier.
The bright background was now dimmer, getting less intense as time went on. A weak breeze started following, making the man quickly homesick.
‘You still have so much to live for, Derek.’
He— no. it said.
‘I’ll spare the both of you.’
The wind got harsher, now coming with the dread of the coming darkness, surrounding them.
‘You have two choices, Derek.
You either spend eternity craving the life you never had, forever looking at the reminder of your grave mistake;
Or,
You could simply revert the spell.
I’ll find another vessel, as long as you get me- or rather, us, out.’
< D3rlord3 > I’m not that easy to fool, King.
< D3rlord3 > I know what’s best. I made my mind up long ago.
He turned around from it, slowly sitting down on the now dark gray floor. It was nicer than the bright white, at least; his head hurt less.
‘Alright.’ It sighed.
‘I’ll see how long it takes to change your answer.’
It disappeared as quick as it appeared.
Now. All that he had was his thoughts and his crumbling mind.
It didn’t take long before D3rlord started reflecting on that the King had said.
Less on the “want to kill humanity” part, more on the “really wants to be with Avery, regardless of what it takes”.
He simply didn’t have any time to think about it, but he was way more interested in Avery than he thought he was.
He knew his interest towards him wasn’t the most platonic, but in the past few hours he has interacted with him, a strong feeling started to brew.
He didn’t know what to do with it, if he was being truly honest. It was weird not knowing something, since he was now the bearer of it all.
He was lost, to say the least.
He knew there were risks. He knew that maybe he wouldn’t simply die. Being stuck in an eternal void was not that farfetched from what these consequences could be.
But he did not consider how heavy it would be for him.
He was ready to give up the little sanity he had left, as long as Avery was okay.
(No. As long as everyone was okay.)
It was selfless, he was absolutely sure of that. He didn’t want to think otherwise. But, the more he gazed through the endless darkness, that was now almost fully pitch black, he imagined how awful this whole thing must have been for Avery. He felt like he failed him; both felt the same.
Avery feels as if he could have saved humanity, without having to give up on Derek.
Derek feels that he should have picked a better distraction, so maybe the other wouldn’t feel as guilty.
Maybe, actually, not warning him at all would have been the best choice. Then, he wouldn’t have been curious enough to look.
The wind got harsher, loudly passing through the plane.
D3rlord laid down, curled against himself to try to find a good position to sleep in.
A break would be nice, wouldn’t it?
——————————————————————
He couldn’t sleep at all.
His mind wouldn’t stop rushing; a wave of millions, billions thoughts per second.
He stayed in the same position he laid in, hiding from the once again bright background, which still brightened up his vision through his eyelids.
The armor had long became uncomfortable, spiking and hurting his skin underneath ; however, no matter how hard he tried, he could never take it off.
This wasn’t his first sleepless night. The last month (or months), he could barely feel the need of sleep. It was a miracle he was still slightly sane after all that time.
“Doesn’t feel very nice, does it?”
It mocked.
“You know, you have a way out. You really don’t have to do this, buddy.
Just say the magic words, and you’ll be back as if nothing ever happened.”
< D3rlord3 > Everyone else will suffer because of my selfishness.
< D3rlord3 > The death of society for the lives of two is simply not the best offer. Maybe try something else next time.
It crouched, now having its voice just over a whisper.
“You do admit he will never be the same.
You knew how gullible, influenceable, and downright depressed he could get.
You did it to the both of you.”
“I’m trying to help you both, not just you. But, if that makes you rethink your options, know that nobody will blame you. I mean, who would like to spend forever stuck in the sensory deprivation torture chamber?”
Just as it finished speaking, it got up, and looked down in a mocking manner.
“You are doing more harm to him now, than you would ever do if you just let me use his vessel.
Maybe that’s why you never had anyone close to you. Your selfishness drove people away.”
The lights were brighter than ever.
“I can do this forever. Different from you, I am omnipresent. A deity.
You? Barely a mortal. I can’t even call you a person. Unfortunate, but that is the life you chose to live.
There are still options, Derek.”
Left alone with himself, again.
…
He could barely think of anything at this point. There was too much. The constant past, the current present, and the ever changing future, were too much to bear.
It used to be a bit better, being able to distract himself and think properly.
But, now he had only his thoughts to entertain himself. The steel scratching and breaking through his body only made matters worse.
The void seemed to only get brighter, and the intense crashing noise from the gust did not help either.
He was starting to believe in the King’s words. Maybe it was best to come back to Avery. Maybe sacrificing a random person wouldn’t be as bad as he thought it would. Giving on the life of one to save two seems like an easy trolley problem.
Each second felt like an hour, and each hour felt like days.
Avery. How was Avery doing?
He couldn’t tell. That was one of the only things he couldn’t know. One of the only things the King did not let him access.
How cruel.
He hoped he was alright. Hopefully he already forgot.
Derek deeply hoped it hurt Avery less than it hurt him.
Why doesn’t he just leave and ask him? Ask how he’s doing?
No. That is selfish.
He couldn’t take it anymore.
But he had to…
…He really didn’t.
“You really don’t have to!
I’m happy we’re finally reaching an agreement.”
D3rlord3 stayed quiet.
“Took two days. Honestly, I thought you’d break earlier.”
< D3rlord3 > what do i have to do
“Say the spell again. Fully, audibly.”
He internally contested against it, knowing how wrong he was. Maybe he could hold on a little longer.
The entity quickly noticed the hesitation.
“I’ll give you a bonus. No knowledge. Maybe just the things you want. How does that sound?
You’ll be back home, everyone will be happy, and you will be happy.
I can even make you both forget this ever happened.”
Derek sat up, now looking directly at it.
Maybe he was dooming them all, but he was doomed anyway. He may as well just bring the ship down with him.
The words came out of his mouth thoughtlessly.