Work Text:
Not Perfect
It was easy. That’s what surprised them the most. The transition from good friends and allies to lovers wasn’t difficult at all. Kratos and Freya feared they would find themselves struggling to incorporate this new scope of their relationship into their lives. But it was far easier than they thought it would be.
Weeks had passed since their mutual declaration. But Kratos had a fear begin to rise in his heart again. One he was quite familiar with. Despite himself, one thing Kratos had learned in Valhalla was the only way to deal with his problems were to face them.
He invited Freya for a walk, which wasn’t uncommon. But Freya had grown to know Kratos well-enough to know this was different.
“Your mind is elsewhere,” Freya surmised.
“In a way,” Kratos admitted.
“Tell me. What’s wrong?”
Kratos stopped, as did Freya.
She knew his silence. He was unnerved. Worried. Not quite scared but fearful of himself. Fearful of what he used to be and that old nature coming to the surface. She’d grown to know that look.
She walked closer and took hold of his hands. “Tell me.”
“I…” Kratos began. “I fear… failing you.”
“Failing me?”
“For all my… progress… my position as a husband has always been one where I fall short. I hope I’ve become better. I simply fear I have not.”
“Do you fear your love for me will fade?” Freya asked.
“No,” Kratos answered. “Never. I fear… my old ways will return. That the… affection you receive from me will falter. If I fail in those ways, then I know I… I will hurt you. You deserve no more pain from me, Freya. You deserve for me to be better than I’ve been in my past.” He moved his hands from hers and sat down. “I was a monster to Lysandra. Distant from Faye. Dismissive of them both in various ways. I wish to not repeat those failures. I fear I will, anyway.”
“You’re worried you’ll mistreat me,” Freya nodded.
“Yes,” Kratos admitted.
Freya sat next to him. “That is the most thoughtful thing you could’ve said to me. Kratos… to know that you still wish to do right by me and not just… rest on your laurels proves… who you’ve become.”
“I will not fail you as I have failed before.” Kratos looked off. “I… I do not wish to hurt you ever again, Freya.”
Freya smiled, her eyes welling up. “I’m not concerned about that. I’m not concerned about… mistakes we’ll make along the way.”
“Why? You should be.”
“Because we’re both learning. In our own way… this is new to both of us. But I think your viewing me through a more favorable light than I deserve. You think me some innocent. I guarantee you I am not.”
Kratos sighed. “But your choices—”
“Are just as wrong as yours,” Freya interrupted. “Do not absolve me. I was wrong for many things. And I deserved to be judged as such.”
“You’ve earned your redemption for those choices.”
“If I have… why do you believe you haven’t?”
Kratos looked down, unsure of the answer.
“We are both damaged, Kratos. But… and I truly believe this… we are becoming better. I do not wish to hurt you, either. I do not wish to bring you any further pain. But here is the truth: we will make mistakes. We just may hurt one another. But, the difference? We will constantly, with all of our efforts, work to make things between us better. Every mistake will come with an apology. Every hurt, an effort to make amends. We will never be perfect… we will be better.”
Kratos took a deep breath and exhaled. “I am grateful you are much wiser than I am.”
Freya actually laughed. “We have our moments of wisdom. And moments when our wisdom falters a bit. That is something else we will continually work to improve.”
“Agreed.” Kratos kissed her hand. “I love you, Freya.”
“I love you.” Freya leaned forward, pressing her forehead to his. They both closed their eyes, each took a deep breath, and they exhaled. “We will be fine, Kratos. Not perfect. Not flawless. But fine. I promise. We are together. We have our love. That matters more than anything.”