Work Text:
Eva Stratt sat at her desk, palms flat on the polished wood. The paperwork was in front of her, the future laid out in black and white.
She knew the theory—read about it, studied it… but never expected to see it in action.
From the first moment she laid eyes on Ryland Grace, she felt it in her bones.
This man was going to be trouble.
Not in the usual way—insubordinate, smart-ass who thought he knew everything. She had plenty of those on staff; an entire city of scientists and experts with huge egos clashing hourly. The complaints pile on her desk was, on the average, at least an inch thick with people whining about this and that, him and her and the others who disagreed with something, anything.
But Grace is… different.
He put Carl down as co-discoverer of how to breed astrophage. That single line brought a hundred questions, most of them asking who Carl was, and his qualifications.
The news that he was a security officer assigned to help Grace was met with stunned silence.
There was a word for this type of thinking, type of broken logic.
Chaos.
Growing up in what used to be called East Germany, she had no time for things being out of line. It was taught, expected, that you would not deviate from what was approved of by the government. You were told what to think, what to expect, what to accept.
Even after her world changed, it was hard to accept the natural chaos of the world; of human beings stepping out of line for the sake of it.
Chaos had no place in her world.
Not until Ryland Grace entered it.
The classroom she walked into should have alerted her to it—the tidy but disorganized stacks on the desk; the way his glasses moved around his face almost of their own accord.
The man was a living chaos theory.
Over the years dealing with scientists she’d met many who personified the saying of “those who can do, those who can’t, teach”. Many of the world’s smartest people were great at their assignments, but never got past accomplishing exactly what she needed done. They went up to the line, completed the job, and stopped.
Grace… he did more.
To him, every interaction became a teaching opportunity, a chance to go off the designated path and discuss some angle, some facet of science they hadn’t been supposed to get into.
He got results.
Every week she got reports on different oddities discovered about astrophage; something not necessarily needed for Project Hail Mary, but important enough to add to their knowledge base. Most of them were accidents, but more than one had Grace’s name attached as an addendum.
Chaos.
She was looking forward to seeing what he could add to the project after the ship was launched; the survival of the planet taking precedent as they waited years to see if the mission had been successful.
Then the explosion happened.
Her heart broke that day—not only for the good men and women they’d lost, but for herself and Grace.
Because she knew she had to let him go.
He was more than the only choice for the mission; he was their best choice. His instinctive grasp of chaos made him the most likely to be able to handle the variables that were sure to smash into such a trip, possibilities none of them had thought of.
“Dr. Stratt?”
She looked up to see one of the medical experts in the doorway.
“We’re about to seal him up.” The man cleared his throat. “I thought you’d like to…”
He falls silent as she stands up.
“Yes. Thank you.”
The hall is not empty—people line the corridor on both sides; from all aspects of the project. From cleaning staff to scientists; from those who only knew Ryland Grace by name to those who were fortunate enough to work with the man.
Her heart breaks again, seeing the body on the stretcher. Stripped bare; the monitors already taking over the job of keeping him alive.
Eva leans in, brushing the hair out of his eyes. The urge to cry is there, but she can’t; not in front of everyone.
That she’ll save for when the office door is closed.
“Make sure his glasses are within reach,” she says to no one in particular. “He’ll need them when he wakes up.”
A brief kiss on his forehead, and she steps away with a nod.
The attendants wheel him down the hallway, past the informal guard of honor.
She watches until the procession is out of sight—the next stop will be the ship taking the crew to orbit, then to the Hail Mary itself.
Then to an uncertain future.
A small bead of hope appears at the back of her mind, reminding her of Grace’s gift.
Chaos.
A schoolteacher who embodies the idea of thinking outside the box, of taking the path not chosen because it beckons, not because it guarantees the right answer.
He might have been the right choice after all.
Eva goes back to her desk, and sits down.
The lightness in her heart lasts only a few moments before her attention goes to the next file on her desk; the next stage in saving the world.
But she has faith in Grace.
And that gives her faith in herself.
*****
A few notes: Yes, I am the author with one of the oldest fanfics on ff.net. Yes, I married a man who sent me a fan letter based on my X-Files fanfiction. Yes, I do original work.
Yes, I am that old. Usenet old. So bear with an old crone as she returns to her first love...
*creaking noises*