Chapter Text
Charlotte had always been a terrible liar. She was especially bad at lying to Henry. Then, where did the international music superstar boyfriend come from? At camp, seriously? Knowing Charlotte, they probably met at math camp. And nobody meets someone at math camp.
But there he was. The one and only Jack Swagger, in the flesh. With his cool leather jacket, and his cool dark hair, and his big flashing smile. And he was having a date with his best friend. While Henry waited on them.
Charlotte must have mentioned Jack at some point years ago, because the name did ring a bell. But there was no way in hell she had mentioned him recently, let alone earlier today. Henry would have paid attention to that. He always paid attention, even when he didn't get what smarty pants was saying or when he pretended not to listen.
Henry would’ve listened. He would've known, because it would’ve sent the same dread to the pit of his stomach as it did a couple hours ago when he heard the guy’s name and the word 'date' in the same sentence. When he saw Charlotte come down the elevator with her boyfriend in tow, that was just the final punch to the gut.
How was it possible that Charlotte has had a boyfriend for months, claims that she’s brought it up multiple times, and Henry only found out now? Something was not adding up, but he went along with it. Hence he spent the whole night waiting on their table in the fake impromptu restaurant in the Man Cave, sneaking glances at them with his hollow eyes and a forced smile.
Henry wanted to do this whole charade for her, he really did. Not only because he owed her for burning down her kitchen (even though it was mostly Ray's fault), but because she deserved a nice dinner out with her boyfriend. They did look good together. And Charlotte wouldn’t go out with the guy if he didn’t treat her right.
Then why did Henry still feel miserable? He should be happy for his best friend. Jasper was happy for her. Ray and Schwoz looked at the couple like proud dads. Piper was only here for the tips, but still, she seemed supportive.
So when he came out of the kitchen and the restaurant was empty, Henry felt a strange sense of relief. Which was quickly stomped out because now he felt bad about it. The sight of them together made something ugly twist in his gut, but having them out of his sight kind of made him feel worse.
Did they go somewhere else? Was Charlotte taking Jack back to her place? Her parents were out of town… And Henry needed to stop this train of thought immediately.
Minutes later, Jasper came back down to explain the hawk situation. (Henry will have to thank the hawk later). Piper only came back down to get her tips and steal some food.
“Bummer this place isn’t a secret restaurant everyday,” Piper commented, waving the hundred dollar bill Jack had tipped her. “You guys would make big bucks.”
“Pff,” Ray dismissed with a wave of his hand. “I’d rather use public funds to punch bad guys.”
"And protect the city," Henry added.
"Yeah, whatever, that too."
“Fair enough,” his sister replied.
As everyone (except Piper, since she’s not in the Man Cave pay roll) was helping to clean up the fake restaurant set-up, the conversation turned to Jack Swagger pretty fast. The others wouldn't shut up about the guy. Anyone could start making music and become an overnight sensation, right? Nothing made Jack really that special. The guy's probably an industry plant. Or a nepo baby. Or both.
Besides, his music was overrated. Jack probably didn't write his own songs. And his songs were only popular because he got the best music producers in the pop industry. All catchy tunes filled with whoa-oh-oh's and no substance. Henry should start a band or something, he'd make way better music.
“He's definitely winning another Grammy next year,” Piper said.
Please, anyone could win the best new artist category if their songs got overplayed in the radio nonstop, he wanted to say, but kept that thought to himself. (Never mind the fact that Henry got top 3% of Jack Swagger listeners. Which is why he didn't share his wrapped last year. But that's besides the point.)
“As a good looking fella myself, that boy Jack is a good looking fella,” Ray pointed out.
I mean, yeah. He's not awful to look at, but so what? Henry couldn't dispute that point, so, moving on.
“Do you think he'd let us fly on his private jet?” asked Jasper.
I could fly Charlotte on the Man-copter anytime. And aren't private jets bad for the environment? Weren't people complaining about it lately? Or is it only wrong when Taylor Swift does it? (He definitely didn't get 0.5% of Taylor Swift listeners or anything. It was Charlotte's fault, really. She often used his family plan because Piper paid for premium. Totally.)
“Poor Henry, it must feel bad to get dumped over a celebrity,” said Schwoz, trying to come off as empathetic but failing spectacularly. Or maybe he did intend to come off as an asshole. It's hard to tell with Schwoz.
“Can you all just shut it?” Henry snapped. “Schwoz, for the millionth time, Char and I have never dated.”
“Riiight,” Jasper said, unhelpfully. Schwoz and Ray laughed.
“You all know it's true,” Henry said, sweeping the floor too harshly in annoyance. “Now that she has a boyfriend can you all stop teasing us about it?”
“With that jealous attitude you're not helping your case, kid,” Ray stated.
Henry huffed. “I'm not jealous, man. I just think you're all making him a bigger deal than he is.”
Piper looked up from her phone. “What, do you think he’s not good enough for Charlotte?”
“Yeah,” Henry replied without thinking. Noticing all the eyes on him, he started to correct himself. “I mean… He’s gotta be busy all the time. He doesn't even live here. And he has a bunch of fans looking for him everywhere he goes. How is Charlotte gonna be happy with a guy like that?”
Jasper shrugged. “She seemed happy to me. It looks like they’re making it work.”
“Henry, if it bothers you so much, maybe you should tell her that,” Piper advised, in one of those weird moments where she seemed more grown up than her actual age. But he wasn't gonna stand here and let his little sister give him advice.
Piper was probably right and he’s just acting stupid, but it’s also none of his business. Charlotte is free to date whoever she wants, even if it eats Henry alive.
“It doesn't bother me, Piper,” he lied. Maybe if he told himself that enough times he'll start to convince his own brain.
He was so done with this conversation. He just wanted to crash in his bed and stop thinking about this, at least for the few hours he’ll be asleep. Henry dropped the broom, which fell with a loud thud to the floor. He took off the stupid apron, put on his hoodie instead and headed for the elevator.
“I'm really tired, I’m gonna call it a night.”
“You might wanna take the tube,” Jasper said. “There’s, um—”
“The hawk? Don't worry, Tony loves me. Bye.” Henry made a peace sign before the elevator doors shut.
“He’s gonna regret that immediately,” Jasper commented when Henry couldn't hear.
“Ugh, he’s so clueless,” Piper complained. She received a chorus of hums in agreement.
When the doors opened at Junk n’ Stuff, Henry regretted not listening to Jasper. He should have taken the tube instead. He'd rather take on an angry hawk than witness this scene.
In the small back room that separated the store from the elevator, there were Charlotte and Jack. Making out unashamedly. He had Charlotte pinned against the wall, both hands on her waist. Her hands were gripping his jacket by the neck, pulling him even closer. Henry had seen this scenario before, except Jack wasn’t the one Charlotte was kissing in his mind.
The elevator was motionless, without a doubt, but Henry still felt unstable on his feet. He kinda hoped the floor would open up so he could drop back down, but such mercy wasn't granted.
Henry must have seen the scene for three seconds, tops. When their brains registered the sound of the elevator doors opening, Charlotte and Jack pulled apart quickly. Well, only their mouths. They still embraced each other.
They looked at him. Henry looked at them. He blinked twice, as if hoping it was a bad dream that he could wake up from.
“I should go, my chauffeur is waiting outside,” Jack said, breaking the awful silence. “Sure you don't need a ride, babe?”
Charlotte shook her head. “I’d rather walk.”
“Okay, text me when you get home.”
Jack kissed Charlotte one more time, then he turned to smile and nod at him. “Bye, Henry.”
Henry smiled and waved goodbye awkwardly.
The guy wasn’t even gonna walk his girlfriend home? Jack Swagger, more like Jerk Swagger. Yeah, the guy definitely bothered Henry. Whatever was wrong with himself today, it was a serious problem.
“Sorry your date didn’t go as smoothly as planned. We tried.”
Charlotte smiled. “Yeah, I know you guys did. Thanks. At least we made it through most of the main course.”
“So, uh, did you—what did you tell him? Why did he know my name?”
"'Cause I called you by the name like twenty times when you were playing waiter?"
"Right." He'd been too busy feeling terrible to notice.
"And I told him you're my best friend."
I am. Notice how the word boyfriend doesn't have a 'best' in front of it. At this point, he'd take any small victory he could get, as stupid as it sounded in his own head.
“And I came clean about the fake secret restaurant thing," Charlotte admitted. "I just told him it’s a normal basement, obviously.”
“Obviously,” Henry echoed.
“I think he clocked that it was fake way before things started getting out of hand, anyway.” Charlotte shrugged. “I don't think hosting is Jasper’s strong suit. And you guys wouldn’t stop staring at us, so.”
“I was not staring at you,” he denied, like a liar.
Charlotte put a hand on her hip and gave him The Look. “Yes, you were.”
“Was not.”
She held her gaze. “You most definitely were.”
That was all Henry needed to cave in. “Yeah, I was. I mean, we were. Sorry.”
Charlotte smirked, probably because she knew she had Henry exactly where she wanted him.
“It’s fine,” Charlotte assured, which dissipated the tension in the backroom. “Without many specifics, I’ve told him how batshit crazy my best friends can be.”
“Oh, you’ve—you’ve told him about me and Jasp? Like, before?”
“Yeah,” Charlotte said in a tone that was really giving duh.
“It's just…" he started, despite his better judgment. "I feel like we’ve heard so little about Jack.”
As soon as the words left his mouth, Henry knew he shouldn’t have said them. But they were out there now. He'd brought it up.
Charlotte looked a little angry, but her tone remained calm. “I’ve mentioned him—”
“Like two times, tops.”
“Like at least seven times—”
“I know for sure you didn’t mention him when you called me earlier today,” Henry accused. Charlotte was uncharacteristically silent, so he went on to ask, “Why didn’t you wanna tell us sooner, Char?”
“No reason." She sighed. "I don’t know.”
“There’s no reason or you don’t know the reason?”
“Don’t play smart with me now, Hen.”
“It just came out of nowhere and I wanna know more.”
Charlotte scoffed. “Is it actually so unbelievable to you that I have a boyfriend?”
“No, no, no, no, no,” Henry was quick to correct. “That’s not what I meant.”
“I think I should just head out.” She gestured vaguely to the door of the store.
“I’ll walk you home.” It wasn’t an offer, but a statement.
As Charlotte opened the door, she turned her head to give him a confused glance. “I have my zapper, you know.”
“I know you can handle yourself. I just want to walk you home,” Henry insisted as she held open the door for him.
“Why?” she questioned as she stepped outside the store, leaving the door closed behind them.
Because if I'm not the one taking you out on a date, at least I can be the one who takes you home.
“Because if your boyfriend”—the word tasted like venom—"can't take you home, someone should."
"You're so weird today, but okay," she conceded as she started walking down the street, Henry following suit. "You literally never walk me home."
“Yeah, well… I should do it more often, then,” he offered.
"And for the record, it's not that Jack couldn't take me home. It's just that he pulled up in a limo," Charlotte explained.
"What's wrong with the limo?"
"It's not exactly inconspicuous."
"What, you don't wanna be seen with a celebrity?"
"Not particularly, no. Didn't you see how crazy everyone got?"
Henry had his hands inside the pocket of his hoodie. He'd been pulling at a string and it finally ripped in half. Like his patience, because he was gonna run his mouth again.
"Is that why you didn't say anything before?" He kept his tone even and composed, trying to conceal any traces of resentment.
"We both value our privacy."
What a lackluster response. Henry needed to know more if he wanted to have some shut-eye tonight. This conversation wasn't doing anything to loosen the knot in his guts. It didn't help that Charlotte's pace was fast. It made him wonder if this was her walk-alone-at-night pace or her trying-to-leave-my-best-friend-behind-so-that-he-stops-bothering-me pace. Either way, he decided he should add more cardio to his workout routine.
"You're both so private you can't even tell your best friends?" Henry questioned.
Charlotte breathed out sharply. "You're right."
Henry didn't hear that often. It was nice to hear, especially coming from her.
"I should've told you sooner. I'm sorry," Charlotte apologized. Hell must have frozen over. "I just… didn't know if it was going anywhere at first. And then I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. So I just—I kinda thought it best to keep it to myself."
That was the first thing that sounded genuine all night. Henry appreciated the honesty. Even if it didn't really explain why she lied about it.
"That's okay, Char. I'm sorry too."
"For what?"
For being a jealous prick.
"For, uh—for overreacting," Henry said instead. "You have every right to keep things to yourself."
Charlotte didn't have to tell him everything. But Henry told her everything. (Well, almost everything.) So it kinda stung.
"Ah. It's fine," she replied. "Thanks."
“So…” he started again after a beat of silence. “Jack.”
“That is his name, correct.” She chuckled humorlessly.
“Just to recap, since we are on the subject. You met him at camp ages ago.”
Charlotte nodded. “Uh-huh.”
"Was it at math camp?"
"Yeah."
"What was Grammy winner Jack Swagger doing at math camp?"
"Actually, math is super important for music theory. You know, time signatures and note values have a mathematical basis. Also—"
Charlotte went on to ramble about structure, rhythm, harmony, composition, and every other music term under the sun that Henry didn't entirely comprehend. But he still liked listening to her. He had to suppress a smile.
"I could go on, but I don't wanna bore you to death."
Henry shook his head. “And you guys started dating when?”
“A few months ago,” Charlotte said.
“Gotcha.”
He could sort of understand why Charlotte didn’t mention her new relationship earlier, but then why did she lie to insist that she did mention it before? Henry felt a little betrayed that she kept it from him, but whatever. He can push his feelings to the side and move past it. But now that the cat was out of the bag, why didn't she wanna tell him how long she's been dating the guy?
What's up with all the secretiveness? Charlotte was dodging questions left and right. Did she not trust him? It was clear Charlotte did not want to talk about this and he didn't wanna upset her further, so Henry changed the subject. He told her about the hawk situation and how Tony is actually very friendly, he just hates his dad for some reason.
At some point, Henry reached under his hoodie to loosen up the tie and Charlotte commented on it.
“You played a really good waiter. Very convincing.”
“Why, thank you, miss Page.”
“Ever considered a career in the service industry?” she joked. “Minimum wage too, but you’d get lots of tips.”
Was she implying that he's good looking? Fuck, such a simple comment—that he could be misinterpreting, by the way—shouldn't make him weak on the knees.
“Nah, it’s more fun to beat up criminals for minimum wage," Henry replied when he gathered the strength to speak. "Besides, you’re the only person I would willingly wait on.”
“Aw, cute,” Charlotte said in a tone that indicated that she didn’t think he was cute at all. “Keep that energy for when I don’t have a kitchen for six weeks.”
“Just for the record, I was not the one who was holding the flare, but I promise I will make it up to you anyway.”
Charlotte squinted at him, maybe due to the dim streetlights, maybe due to the fact that he was saying too much.
“If you say so. Well, we're here." They'd reached her house. "Goodnight, Hen.”
As Charlotte searched through her purse for her keys, Henry suddenly didn’t know how to say goodbye to her without second guessing himself, so he just stood there like an idiot without saying anything.
On a normal day, he’d just say bye and walk away, like he'd done a billion times in more than a decade of friendship. But seeing her kiss Jack rewired something in his brain. Now he couldn’t take the image out of his head. And it felt like taking a hammer to the skull. (And he knew exactly how that felt like, of course.)
He put a tentative hand on her shoulder as he finally said, “Goodnight, Char. See you tomorrow.”
Henry squeezed her shoulder once, to no reaction. Because this was normal. They're best friends. And best friends touch—well, touch is not the best word. Best friends have… gentle contact with each other platonically, and it's no big deal. He's so normal for this. It's not like he wants to hold her and never let go or anything like that. No, sir.
“See you,” Charlotte replied without sparing him a glance, and then she’d gone inside the house.
Henry had weird dreams that night. Dreams he shouldn’t be having. Dreams that involved lips locking and hands roaming. Dreams that Charlotte wouldn’t be comfortable with him having. The nature of the dreams had already freaked her out the other way around, so his dreams would only freak her out even more.
But he had no control over his subconscious mind, so he decided not to feel guilty about the dreams and cherish them while they lasted. Reality could hit him all it wanted the next morning.