Chapter Text
The sun shined brightly through the window, illuminating the red and green bunk beds that held two sleeping brothers. Mario was soundly sleeping on his top bunk, snoring up a storm. It was just a typical morning for the two of them.
Luigi sat up, yawning as he stretched, smiling to himself as he got up. He hummed quietly, walking towards the kitchen to start making spaghetti for Mario’s breakfast. The green Italian didn’t really have much else to do, really. The house remained relatively clean since the brothers spent more time at the Showgrounds than home.
“MAAMAAAAAA!”
Luigi turned around, seeing Mario fall from his bed and land on the floor, staring at the ceiling in confusion.
“Mario?” He walked towards his brother, helping him up. “What-a happened?”
“Mario was-a just having a nice dream, but then he smelled spaghetti! He started following the smell when he-a fell out of bed!” Mario huffed, crossing his arms and turning away.
Luigi sighed, shaking his head and smiling at his brother. “Mario, you have to stop doing that.”
Mario sighs, putting a hand on his chest. “Mario knows… but he-a can’t help it! Spaghetti is his one true love!”
His brother rolled his eyes before returning to making their breakfast.
Mario excitedly hopped around, looking at the spaghetti with big eyes and a wide mustache as he tried to control himself. He couldn’t help but want to just eat it now.
After a couple of excruciating minutes, Luigi sets the plate of spaghetti in front of Mario. “There! Finally done!”
Mario opened his mouth wide, vacuuming up the spaghetti, plate included. He smiled brightly towards his brother. “Can I have some more?”
Luigi huffed affectionately before just putting the whole pot in front of him. “I should have-a known I wouldn’t get any.”
Without wasting a second, Mario grabs the pot and starts eating the spaghetti from it. He had gotten so absorbed in eating the spaghetti that when the alarm on his watch went off to go and annoy SMG4, he jumped, spilling the rest of the spaghetti out of the pot.
The two brothers stood in confusion before looking at the mess.
“Oh no,” Luigi sighed. “Guess I should clean this-”
But before Luigi finished that thought, Mario was already just vacuuming up the spilled spaghetti.
“Nevermind…”
Mario stood up once the last of the spaghetti was gone and gave Luigi a big thumbs up. “Okie dokie! Mario’s got to go!”
The green Italian shook his head and laughed quietly. “Alright… well, I’ll be there after tending to my garden.”
Mario nodded enthusiastically before skipping out the door.
Just another normal day.
So normal, in fact, that as soon as Mario walked into the castle, he could already hear arguing from two definitely not gay meme guardians. He sighed. Of course those two gay idiots were fighting again. Mario was getting tired of it. Ever since Snowtrapped, he knew there was definitely something between them.
He walked towards SMG4’s room and pushed the door open, watching the two meme guardians fight about… something. Mario didn’t know what, nor did he really care.
He stepped forward and looked between the two of them. “You two fight-a like an old married couple.”
“Shut up Mario!” The two snapped, turning to glare at him.
SMG3 groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Whatever. I was just leaving anyway.”
“Oh, what? Because you’re still not willing to help with this video?” Four hissed.
“Considering how stupid it is?” Three retorted, “Yes.”
The two glared at each other again before SMG4 growled. “That’s it!” He quickly tackled the other and they started a stupid slap fight you’d usually see little kids doing.
Mario just stood there, picking his nose as he watched them fight for the millionth time. It was getting so tiring. One minute they’d be best friends, the next they hate each other’s guts again.
It was always the same old song and dance, and Mario was growing a bit sick of it. These were his meme guardians, they were supposed to work together.
“Old married couple,” Mario snickered, shaking his head and laughing at the two of them.
They both then turned to the avatar, still glaring.
“Oi! It’s not my fault SMG4 is just being an ass!” Three snapped.
“I’m being the ass?”
“Yeah!”
“Oh and how so?”
SMG3 stepped closer, pointing an accusatory finger towards the other. “How about how you keep coming up with stupid ideas?”
“You’re just pissed because it’s a scary episode!”
“You always cast me for the scary episodes!”
Mario watched the two continue to bicker back and forth until SMG3 finally had enough.
“Whatever, I’ll be at my coffee shop if anyone actually needs me for something.” He waved a hand dismissively as he walked out the door, slamming it behind him.
“Yeah, well…” SMG4 started to shout back before realizing whatever he was going to say wasn’t even going to be heard by his counterpart. “Ugh…”
“You two need marriage counseling,” Mario laughed.
SMG4 turned to his best friend, giving him a look that basically said “Are you being for real right now?” He sighed, sitting on the futon he called a bed and crossing his arms angrily.
“That stupid, selfish, egotistical ass,” Four groaned.
Mario looked at the blue meme guardian, trying not to laugh. He did have to say, it was amusing seeing these two fight over the stupidest things. If he formed a thought, he would think that it was because of their unresolved tension.
He sits down beside him on the bed and gives SMG4 a big smile. “Well, you-a know how SMG3 is!”
Four nodded, looking away. “Yeah. A selfish ass who only cares about himself. He took one look at my video idea and he immediately started getting snippy with me!” He laid back on the bed and glared at the ceiling. “Memes me makes me so fucking tired sometimes.”
Mario nods. “Maybe you make-a him tired too?”
Four shrugged. “Eh… guess it’s just things are always going to be between us, whether we’re friends or rivals.”
Mario frowned. Was Four really just going to go and say “it’s just how it is” about their fighting? He rolls his eyes. “Mario thinks that’s-a stupid.”
“Oh?” Four looked towards Mario, raising a skeptical eyebrow. “Why?”
“Mario thinks that-a you two should talk more about your feelings!”
Four gave him a deadpanned stare. “Not happening.”
“Why?” Mario asked. “Mario talks-a to you about his feelings and you-a talk to Mario! Why can’t-a you talk to SMG3?”
SMG4 shrugged, looking away. “I… it’s complicated, alright?” He sits up. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Oh, Mario understands,” he mumbled quietly as Four continued speaking.
“It’s just how things are with us! We just… we tease each other and give each other a hard time! It’s just how it is between us.” He shrugged. “Look, I get that you think we’re in love with each other and keep saying we’re being gay, but we’re not!”
Mario’s eyes separated and his mustache grew as he looked at SMG4. Denial is more than a river in Egypt…
“And besides, you know how he is!” Four huffed. “He’s not even the type to talk about his feelings. And we have a good friendship, we just annoy each other to no end like we always have.”
“Mario thinks-a you’re in denial~” Mario teased, leaning closer to SMG4, who glared at him in response.
“Denial of what?” Four huffed. “I’m not denying shit!”
“You’re-a very gay for ES-EM-GEE-THREE,” Mario said, smile only growing.
Four rolled his eyes. “Sure, whatever gets you to drop the subject, man.”
Mario chuckled, shaking his head. His smile never fading. It was fun to tease these two relentlessly about their very obvious gay tension. He just had to poke fun at it! Especially since they kept denying it every time he brought it up.
“Anyways,” Four sighed, “I’ve got a video to edit, and other ideas to draft up.”
Mario frowned. Guess he’d have to torment SMG3 instead…
He groaned, standing up and walking towards the door. “Fine. Mario will-a go see SMG3 instead!”
“Tell him that he can come back and actually help me once he’s done with his temper tantrum,” Four said dismissively, shooing Mario away.
The red Italian sighed, shaking his head as he cleared his throat. He must’ve eaten the spaghetti too fast…
The coffee shop was empty, as per usual these days, with cobwebs everywhere. SMG3 stood behind the counter, scrolling through old memes on his phone to pass the time.
“Hello!” Mario explained, hopping towards the counter and smiling.
“Not now, Mario,” Three huffed, sounding a bit… defeated…? “Can’t you see I’m busy?”
“Mario wanted to know if-a you’re ok.”
Three nodded. “Never better,” he said in a deadpan tone.
“SMG4 is-a just stressed because he-a wants to make good content.”
“I know.”
“So…”
Three looked up from his phone towards Mario again. “Mario… I am not apologizing to that self-centered ass with a hero complex so big it can’t even fit inside his stupid clown castle!” He put his phone away and sighed. “He’s the one who likes tormenting me! Why else would I be cast into every single horror episode? Or still be the villain or conflict despite my absolutely amazing character arc?”
He groans, putting his head into his hands. “I swear, that idiot just makes me lose more brain cells each day by just being near him.”
Mario nods, coughing a bit and clearing his throat. “Mario thinks-a that you two should-a talk!”
“Not. Happening,” SMG3 hissed.
“But-”
Three held up a finger to shush Mario, looking far more annoyed as he forced an angry smile. “The last time I opened up to that ass, it ended in him just pushing my feelings aside and just acted like I was upset for literally no reason. The bastard still hasn’t actually apologized for destroying something I was actually proud of doing!”
Mario stood there, looking towards the purple meme guardian with wide eyes.
“So no,” Three continued, “I am not going to go through all that cheesy shit of ‘talking about my feelings and crying and hugging it out and suddenly we’re the best of friends who ride off into the sunset together on the back of a cow’ or whatever you’re expecting.”
Mario raised an eyebrow at that last part…
Three huffed. “It’s not something he’s willing to do, and it’s not something I’m willing to do. That ass keeps using that lame ass ‘it’s just how we are with each other’ excuse, and I’m just gonna roll with it at this point!” He stepped out from behind the counter, getting closer to Mario. “He’s still a thorn in my side, and I still debate whether or not to kill him every day!”
“Mario knows you don’t, but ok.”
Three was about to say something else when Mario coughed once more. He quickly took a step back, looking disgusted. “Dude, if you’re getting sick with something, keep that shit away from me! I can’t go and get sick with whatever you’ve got now.”
The red Italian looked towards Three, clearing his throat and looking at him in confusion. “Mario isn’t sick. Mario just has a froggie in his throat!”
“Whatever, man, just keep those germs away from me.” Three rolled his eyes and stepped back further. “Gross, dude.”
Mario shrugs. “Mario still wishes you two could-a just get along.”
“We do, when SMG4 isn’t being his annoying ass idiot self,” Three huffed, crossing his arms.
Mario was about to say something else, but another cough came out of him instead.
“Alright, out of my shop.” SMG3 grabbed a broom, slowly pushing Mario out with it. “If me or my precious little Eggdog get sick because of you, I swear!”
Mario did his best to fight being pushed out, trying to dig his heels into the hardwood floor. When that didn’t work, he grabbed a tight hold of the doorframe, groaning as he tried to keep himself from being pushed out.
“Mario isn’t sick!”
“Well I can’t risk anything tainting my picture perfect health!”
With one final shove, Mario was knocked from the doorframe onto the ground with a quiet “oof.” He looked towards the door, only to see SMG3 slam it shut and look at him skeptically. He even held up his fingers in the shape of a cross as he backed away further into the cafe.
Mario huffed, standing up and sticking his tongue out. He turned around, crossing his arms. “Mario is-a not sick!”
Kicking the dirt in frustration, Mario finally decided to maybe go hang out with his other friends instead. At least they weren’t gay idiots who refuse to acknowledge their feelings like these two were.
Mario hums his theme song as he walks back to his and Luigi’s house with his brother by his side.
“Alright, brother,” Luigi said with a smile. “I’m-a gonna check on my flowers before heading inside.”
Mario nodded, walking towards the door before coughing again. It was weird… he could’ve sworn it was just something in his throat. That’s what it felt like, anyway.
Except this one cough turned into a large coughing fit, earning the attention of his brother as Mario just kept coughing in front of the door.
“Mario?” Luigi asked quietly as his brother fell to the ground from the coughs. He patted Mario’s back, hoping it was just that he suddenly had a dry throat or something. “I’ll-a go get you some water.”
As Luigi rushed inside, Mario continued to cough before he finally managed to cough something up.
Flower petals fell from his mouth, causing the Italian to stare at them in confusion. He didn’t remember eating any blue or purple flowers…
He coughed again, this time feeling something bigger in his throat. He reaches into his mouth and pulls out two flowers: a blue rose and a purple bellflower.
He stares at them, holding the two flowers in his hands as Luigi comes out with some water.
He looks up at his brother, then towards the flowers.
“Mario doesn’t remember eating any flowers…”