Chapter Text
When Izuku was just 4 years old, she learned that not all people were created equal, that some kids were born with powers and abilities that others lacked. As time went on, those differences would only continue to widen the gap between the haves and the have-nots.
But as she saw and experienced more of that gap, even as she fell further behind, she never stopped thinking back to the one thought she had as a little girl, lying injured after taking a beating to save another kid: that she would never let it hold her back.
She might not have the power, but she had the drive. She wanted to save people; she wanted to be like her hero, All Might, and be someone people could depend on, someone who always saved the day.
In one life, that would take her down the path that would see her become the world’s greatest hero…
This was not that path.
Izuku’s day was, in a word, eventful. It started out normally, even if there was a villain incident: a purse snatcher with a gigantification quirk. In a world where 80% of the population had some sort of quirk to call their own, such things had become a daily occurrence.
She gained firsthand experience by watching pros handle the incident. From the powerful Death Arms, who ensured no debris harmed a single person, to the ever-cautious and protective Backdraft, who made sure there was a safe distance, to the rising up-and-comer Kamui Woods.
Sure, his thunder was stolen by the arrival of Mt. Lady, a heroine who also had a gigantification quirk. Her one-hit takedown stole the show. However, it was still a fantastic time for Izuku, who made notes on it all, firmly believing that her passion for quirks would one day help her join such amazing pros out in the field, protecting people with a smile on her face.
It wouldn’t be as… seductive as Mt. Lady, who liked to play up her sex appeal for the cameras, but she’d definitely be smiling!
But as exciting a morning as that was, it was all downhill from there.
Kacchan acted out again, and their teacher brought up that she, too, was trying for the hero track at U.A., which was expected to provoke mockery from the class and a threat of violence from Kacchan, who seemed to respond to most things involving her with threats or violence.
After class, he cornered her with his friends, took her prized notebook and torched it, then tossed it out a window and threatened her again to choose another school. She hated it, how someone with so much talent could act like a villain, a self-centered brat.
She hated it even more that she couldn’t do anything about it, not even when he had the gall, the sheer lack of empathy, to tell her to… to take her own life and hope for a quirk in rebirth.
How could he just say that? And with such a smile on his face? It was almost enough for her to charge him then and there…
Almost, but like she’d learned over the years, trying to fight someone as gifted as him wouldn’t end well, so she backed down and let him walk away feeling like he’d won.
Retrieving her notebook wasn’t hard, but it was just her luck that it had landed in the koi pond, so now it was blast-damaged and soaked through. Great. Being attacked by a villain and nearly dying was even worse.
But then she met All Might, and she was able to see her hero in the flesh as he saved her life. This was her chance. If anyone could answer her question, could validate her dreams, it would be him… right
No… no, he couldn’t.
Midoriya was in a funk, a slight buzzing in her ears as All Might, a man who could only be All Might three hours a day, told her what everyone else did.
“I simply can’t say, ‘you can become a hero without power.’” All Might sounded tired, worn, but somehow still kind in the way she didn’t want him to be. It was the kind of kindness that came with putting a sick puppy down, or telling a child they had a terminal illness.
It was the kind of kindness that came from saying something seen as a fact, not worth fighting. And for All Might, as it was for the rest, her being part of that 20% who had no power meant her dreams could never be anything more than that.
She swallowed hard, finding it hard to breathe, hard to think, hard to accept this as anything less than the sad reality she was born into, all because she was quirkless.
She vowed that she would believe in herself, smile like All Might, and fight for it…
But how could she do that when even All Might admitted his smile merely hid how scared he was?
“Can you be a hero? Not without a quirk, I’m afraid.” His words, more than the near-death experience, more than years of bullying from Kacchan, hit her foundation and left her feeling weak in the knees. It was taking all she had not to fall over and cry.
“I see…” Izuku managed to choke out a response, not really processing it, not even noticing how a smile stretched across her face as she worked to keep her hero from seeing her fall apart and making her seem more pathetic than she already did.
All Might didn’t think that, but he could clearly see the effect this was having on her, and he hated it. He hated how his words left this young girl with a broken, almost hopeless smile. In that moment, he could almost feel his master’s judgment on him.
But he could stomach it. As he’d learned, there were just some things you couldn’t fight, and he couldn’t just let her continue down a path that would only end in tragedy.
Yes, he could stomach it, but he didn’t have to like it as he got up, silently scolding himself for slipping up and letting a civilian see him in his true form. She seemed trustworthy enough, but it was still embarrassing and unfair to put that on her.
“If you want to help others, you can always try to become a police officer. They get crap because heroes capture most villains, but it’s a fine profession. I even have a friend who as a detective has taken down his fair share of villains and criminals,” All Might told her as he walked toward the roof entrance to leave, his limit for the day gone, so he couldn’t just leap away.
The words felt like ash in his mouth as he understood the logic and appreciated what police and detectives like Tsukauchi did for society. However, something about it still felt wrong to him. He wondered if it was because the encounter reminded him of a memory he hadn’t thought about in years, but he pushed it aside.
He wasn’t wrong, even if he and this young lady wished he was. Without power, being a pro would be needlessly risky. He knew he certainly wouldn’t have achieved even a fraction of what he had done without a quirk as powerful as his own.
He felt old and weak as he rationalized it in his head.
“It’s fine to dream, young lady, but you also have to consider what’s realistic.” With that last statement, All Might, the man who hid a grievous wound from the world, who smiled to hide the fear, left.
Izuku barely noticed anything else; she’d been falling apart ever since he told her no. Her mind, heart, logic, and soul were fighting an intense war within her that tore her up. She… she shouldn’t be surprised, right? She’d known for years, hadn’t she? She knew how impossible her dreams seemed to others, how hard it would be to even get a foot in the door.
Even people with amazing quirks like Kacchan had to train when he wasn’t bullying her, just to get strong enough to even try to become a pro. If someone blessed from birth had to put in serious work, what chances did she have? If even the world’s strongest hero could almost be killed on the job, what could tiny, weak, quirkless little Izuku do?
She knew that, but she didn’t want to accept it. Because accepting it was admitting defeat. It was accepting that her dreams, the thing that put fire in her heart, that helped her smile through it all and hold out hope, were just a fantasy.
It was all she had ever wanted, ever since she was just a little girl and barely knew what a hero meant. She had fallen in love with All Might’s smile, his confident laugh, and his catchphrase.
“I am here.” Those simple words inspired her more than anything else. Because hearing them meant things would be okay. That the villain would be stopped and the people saved. She so badly wanted to be just like that, to be someone everyone could depend on, someone they could look to in a crisis and smile, knowing she would fight for them, that she would win for them.
She just wanted to do what was right… why was that such an impossible thing? Why did God let her develop dreams she could never achieve?
Her heart refused that, tossing it all aside as it declared what her passion, her drive, her reason for being was. She felt it beating harder in her chest, her ears growing warmer, and her hands clenched at her sides so tightly that her nails nearly pierced the skin. It wasn’t the first time it had happened, this confusing mess of swirling emotions, as it was always triggered by the same sort of talk.
‘Are you sure you can handle it?’
‘Aren’t you aiming a bit high?’
‘Oh, let someone stronger handle that.’
‘Wouldn’t you want to be an accountant like your mother?’
‘Oh, you want to help then? Well, nursing is a promising career.’
‘Support isn’t a bad option; you’ll be helping pros from a safe distance.’
Time and time again, the same thing was said in different ways. The same lack of faith. The same lack of support. The choice to try and steer her toward something else, careers and paths they thought were better for her, never asking if she wanted to walk down them to begin with.
‘I’m sorry, Izuku!’ She bit her lip hard enough to draw blood as she recalled the very first. Her own mother… when she asked if she could still be a pro, still be like All Might after they learned she was quirkless, just apologized, over and over…
Apologized like she’d given her only child an incurable disease, doomed her to a life of suffering. She ignored it, ignored how much it hurt, and tried desperately to focus on other things, on the fact that her mom loved her, that she was just worried, like any mom.
But not Auntie Mitsuki. She was never afraid for her son, because he had power.
Now she had something to add to the collection, to the knives that pierced her heart and bled her dry.
‘If you want to help others, you can always try and become a police officer…’ All Might, the Symbol—her Symbol—looked her dead in the eye and said that. Maybe he was being kind, maybe he was being thoughtful.
Maybe he only saw a weak girl with more delusions than sense. Izuku was just too tired to figure out which anymore.
He seemed to see what everyone else did, that she wasn’t good enough. She wasn’t strong enough, she wasn’t… she wasn’t…!
Biting back the sob, even as she started to shake even more, she looked at her notebook through tear-filled eyes. One of her cherished possessions, but its state matched her pretty damn well, didn’t it? Burnt up and soggy, some words were indecipherable now, thanks to runny ink, pages stuck together, or blackened.
Izuku ground her teeth together, tried to keep it together, to smile and try to laugh like… like… like All Might. Still, she just kept shaking, her hands clenching the already damaged notebook so hard she risked damaging it more.
Become a nurse? Support engineer? A frickin’ cop?! How blind could people be? How hurtful could words of apparent compassion feel? Did they think she hadn’t checked? Did they think it would be easy because those jobs didn’t require quirks? Because the law said so?
They showed that they knew, showed what life was like for those who had been have-nots when she was a have-not.
Even those jobs that people barely thought of came with unwritten rules, and it was mainly those with a suitable quirk who excelled. How the heck was she supposed to compete in medical school against people whose quirks were suited for medicine? Against support students who could be human toolkits or have some other techno-quirk? Even the cops, who were supposed to enforce quirk laws, broke them.
Why would they? If you had an officer whose quirk could isolate evidence, improve their aim with a sidearm, or do all manner of things, you would have to be an unrealistic stickler for the rules to stop them.
It didn’t matter what some law written during the dawn of quirks said; quirks mattered more with each new generation. They were used daily and affected one’s life from the start. She would be fighting an uphill battle no matter what she chose, didn’t they see that? So why not help her at least pick the battle she wanted? Why couldn’t she be allowed that?!
‘You’re even worse than the rest of these damned rejects, you quirkless wannabe, you really think they’ll let someone like you in when they could have me?’
Kacchan… he was so mean, so cruel. Always thinking about himself, and when he didn’t get his way, he forced it. He hardly acted like the hero he could be, that she knew he could become…
But it didn’t matter. He had the smarts, he had the quirk, he was what society said was worth it, either through action or inaction. She was the burden, she was the weak one, the Deku that would need to be saved and then return to the crowd, just another face you’d see but never recognize, notice but never remember.
Falling to her knees, she hardly registered the impact of bare skin against a concrete roof. She just opened her notebook, blasting through notes and drawings, questions and observations on who knew how many pros and quirks until she finally reached it.
‘All Might’ — she looked at All Might’s signature. It was bold, it was undeniable, and almost as large as he was, taking up two whole pages.
Yet she started to cry at the sight, her efforts to keep it in finally giving way as she looked at the signature of her idol and had to accept that he saw her the same as everyone else. Once the tears started, they didn’t stop, as despair, rage, grief, sorrow, bitterness, and so much else came pouring out of her soul.
She… she just wanted to be a hero! She wanted to help people like he did, but why was that impossible? Why did quirks have to matter so much?
“Why was I born a damned Deku?” she asked, yet no one was there to give an answer. So she cried. She cried her heart out, sobs shaking her body as she wailed where no one could see her, where no one would care if they did.
She didn’t know how much time had passed; it could have been a minute, maybe even an hour. All she knew was that she looked at the railing, and some new memory came to mind.
‘Just pray you’ll be born with a quirk in your next life, and take a swan dive off the roof of the building.’
Kacchan’s words, so callous, so cruel, so evil…
So… appealing, so enticing. They sounded so rational right now. If she was doomed to live a life where she couldn’t achieve her dreams, why not start over? Sure, she might not get a quirk, but maybe she’d get a new dream… yes, it sounded good.
Slowly, she got up, her tears fading but not completely, as she approached the edge. Fear pooled in her gut, but so did anticipation, and the feeling that came before relief.
She didn’t know how high it was at first, but looking at other buildings, she could say it was higher than 20 stories, which should be plenty, right? No way even a screw-up like her could botch this. Thinking about it, she wondered if she would even feel it. The height made it seem like it would be a snap-your-fingers sort of deal…
It wouldn’t even be that hard; she could scale the fence, hang off the edge, and just let go, let gravity do the rest. Izuku smiled at the thought, such an easy means to be reborn as someone worth something.
She looked over the edge. It wasn’t a busy day, and Musutafu was never a busy place. Yet she could make out a mother and child. She was too far up to hear anything, but she could make out how happy the little boy seemed, pulling his mother along to wherever their destination was.
Suddenly, it hit her, and she threw herself back from the roof, scrambling further away from it and its temptations, tears of disgust and panic flooding out of her eyes.
How could she…? She couldn’t. She just couldn’t do that to mom. She loved her… right.
No — no! She couldn’t think that. Mom loved her; she knew it. She said it every day, and she even indulged her love of heroes by getting her all that All Might merch, even taking her to hero events.
Even if no one else cared, Mom cared, and that was enough. More than enough. She couldn’t do it. She wouldn’t follow Kacchan’s horrible advice.
As she moved away from the edge, her hand touched the cover of her notebook. Slowly, she turned to it, seeing that it was still on that page, on his signature. The sight nearly sent her back toward a mistake she could never take back, and it filled her with fury. She roared with anger and pain, and so much more, as she tore into her notebook.
She tore and tore, sending bits and pieces all over the place, some blown away in the wind, others lingering, but she didn’t stop until all that was left was a cover, a back, and a book with no pages left.
After that, she calmed, if only on the surface. She couldn’t be sure whether it was because she was numb or because she was overloaded with emotion. Either way, she took some shaky steps, climbed to her feet, and made for the same entrance All M… that the hero had used.
Her moment of calm was interrupted by explosions in the distance. Looking in that direction, she guessed whatever was happening was in Tatooine Shopping District. Was it a villain fight? An accident? Were the pros already there or on their way? And who would respond? Would All…
She shook her head, knowing that if she thought about that pro again, she’d spiral, and she didn’t trust herself to recover a second time, not in her current state.
So she focused on the explosions, even as she climbed down to ground level, avoided security, and made her way home. At least, that was the plan, but her legs decided to take her toward the danger; years of chasing such things couldn’t just be erased.
"Stupid, so stupid…Why did I do that?" Izuku asked herself as she limped home, looking even worse than before, something that was bound to happen when she threw herself into danger. Her legs got her to the scene without her realizing it till she was just a block away, and at that point she thought, 'Might as well check, no harm in that, right?'
So she did. And promptly was smacked in the face with how bad the situation was, one she unknowingly made. That sludge villain that nearly killed her, that the number one hero caught and was on the loose again. She could only guess it was so because she hitched a ride on All Might's pants, pulling on them enough that the bottle he stuffed the villain into fell out.
Kamui Woods was weak to the flames and explosions and couldn't get close. Death Arms couldn't do damage to the sludge villain's body and was kept back. Mt. Lady couldn't enter such a tiny street if she wanted to use her quirk without wrecking the buildings to either side of the street. So they had to wait, wait for help, wait for All Might but she knew he couldn’t, he’d used up his remaining time saving her…and now she’s rendered that moot.
She could have, should have left in shame after that. What could she do? How could she fix her mistake? But she didn't, she stuck around long enough to see who the hostage was, and upon seeing it was Kacchan…she just moved, no thoughts, no plan, her body just moved on its own.
'A lot of good that did.' She looked at her feet as she managed one marginally clever hit and nearly got killed for it, if not for All Might being able to force himself to get into action and save both of them. Naturally, her brainless recklessness got her a serious scolding from the pros on the scene. At the same time, Kacchan was praised for his strength and ability to last as long as he did, something she couldn't fault, as she would have been killed in a minute, yet Kacchan held on for over 5 minutes before All Might showed up.
Could she sit there and be reminded that she was just a bystander who didn't know how to stay out of the way? Of course not; she couldn't stand their judgmental gazes or the flashes of phone cameras, so she ran…she took off as fast as she could, as far as she could. Could the pros have caught her? Of course, but she figured they decided some quirkless nobody wasn't worth the effort.
And yet, despite it all…she didn't regret it. She didn't regret stepping in, not when Kacchan needed someone, and that she could see in his eyes that for once, he was afraid, he was asking for help, for a hero to save him."
But knowing her luck, the fact that it came from here would only set him off later…so she had that to look forward to.
Pausing at the complex gates, Izuku looked up to where she'd lived her entire life, one of many apartments built to be affordable and indistinguishable; not even the setting afternoon sun could make it look any more generic than it already was.
Again, she looked at herself and saw how dirty her uniform was, how dirty she was. 'I don't want mom to see me like this; she worries enough as is.' Izuku sighed as she planned to just get inside, get her clothes washed, and shower. Mom didn't need to know about the bruises or the sprained ankle; she had made the 'masterful' move of running for the last hour.
'I'll need to ice that, but what do I tell her if she asks?' Izuku feared that, as her mom was, if not more, observant than she was. Her best play would be to get in before she got home, and stick to her room till dinner; she'll figure out something after that.
So, it was with a smile as real as flying pigs that she took her keys out and opened their front door.
Her plans were shot down before they could even take off.
Mom was home, she was watching the news, and it was already talking about the shopping district incident, including video of her rushing in. Her face wasn't clearly shown, not at first, but if you knew her, you'd be hard-pressed not to see it.
And who knew her better than her mother?
And the worst part? The fact that the amateur recording caught Bakugo's rant to her for trying to save him before All Might arrived, a rant that included calling her quirkless for the entire world to hear.
The door opening was the alert for her mom, who turned to her daughter with the most worried, disappointed look Izuku had ever seen on her face. A look that pierced whatever excuses or explanations she had, which just melted under her mother's gaze.
"Izuku, go to your room and don't come out till dinner's ready, no internet in there, understand?" Izuku didn't fight her mom; she only nodded as her mom lowered her head and silently limped into her room.
Her mom stopped her. "Not in that state, come in and take a seat, I'll get the first aid kit, but we'll talk about this, young lady, is that understood?" She tried to sound stern, but it wasn't working. Yet, that just made Izuku feel worse, knowing she had made her mother worry that she could have very well watched her only child throw her life away.
"Yes, mom." Izuku veered from her route to her room and sat on the sofa as her mother got up and quickly went to the bathroom to grab the med kit.
Neither mother nor daughter acknowledged the tears pouring from Izuku's eyes as her mother tended to her injuries.
The next day didn't offer any relief, but continued. She didn't need to worry about the ankle or anything else, as they were the type of wounds that were minor enough to heal on their own.
Though even if she came to school wearing a cast, it wouldn't have saved her. From the moment she'd walked onto campus, she was marked.
Her classmates, even underclassmen, didn't even pretend to whisper as they looked and pointed, talking about how she tried to play hero and failed miserably, that she nearly got killed if not for All Might, or, as one particular rumour went, she was trying to upstage Bakugo and got what she deserved for it.
She was used to being ignored; most first and 2nd years didn't even know her, and she was happy with that, but after the news covered it, she was hard-pressed to find one who didn't know her, and either talk about her like she wasn't close, or openly mocked her for her pathetic attempts to save someone better.
It was a lot, so she just tried to make herself as small and quiet as possible to try to escape it.
When Kacchan arrived, she spotted him scanning the room. As soon as he saw her at her desk, she almost yelped and dove out the window; that was how angry he seemed to look. He was rarely happy to see her, but now he looked like he would actually murder her.
She was only saved by the fact that Kacchan had arrived moments before the teacher and homeroom started. Still, as he walked to his desk, he never broke eye contact with her, making it clear she was in his sights… oh, great.
So, she would avoid him till he cooled down, or they graduated, and they never saw each other again, whichever came first.
Lunch period couldn't come fast enough. Before the bell could even finish, and against her mother's words to take things easy, she bolted out of the room, evading students and staff the best she could as she raced down the halls.
It didn't mean she went unseen, as it took just one person calling 'Oh, it's Deku' for the rest to follow suit. She blocked out the comments, the backhanded compliments, and plain insults.
One girl who she heard had a crush on Kacchan decided that wasn't good enough and, as Izuku rushed past, she 'dropped' her drink on Izuku's head, dousing her in orange and mango fruit juice for everyone to see.
Izuku paused, not sure if Kacchan was even still chasing her if he had been chasing her to begin with. Instead, she just slowly turned to the girl, who gave her the world's fakest smile as she apologized.
"Sorry about that, I thought I was standing next to the dumpster." Such a comment was neither punished nor rewarded, but met with bursts of laughter from the entire hallway. Again, she spotted someone pulling their phone out to record her at her low point.
Wet, sticky, and thoroughly humiliated, Izuku turned and dashed off, trying to cover how she was crying, the rest deciding to give her peace, or that she wasn't worth hounding when they could be having lunch.
30 minutes later, having used one of the seldom-visited bathrooms by the track field to clean up, she was now having her lunch in her safe space, an unused janitor's closet. She would have picked the roof, but TV lied about it being an unpopular spot, as a lot of kids loved sitting up there like the protagonists of their favorite shows. She knew Kacchan liked to from time to time.
Besides, now more than ever, she didn't trust herself on the roof, not when she couldn't be sure that those up there would stop her if such thoughts formed again…
Her spot was rarely seen, much less touched, as the light didn't work, and the door's lock was busted. Most wouldn't dare enter it, as you would be moving blind and could get locked in, where most wouldn't even see you, but she had counters.
A flashlight and, after a near accident in her first year, a belt she'd slip between the door and its frame, so even if it slammed shut, all she would need to do was pull the belt, and it would open.
Her space was better, sure, it was dark, cramped, and smelled like detergent and regret, but it was hers, it was private, and it was safe. Having removed the expired and unused cleaning supplies, she tossed the expired ones. She transferred the unused ones to other closets around campus.
She'd even taken the time to decorate! Little things that helped make the space feel more welcoming and calming when she needed it. Foreign coins, small pictures of her favorite fictional characters, a couple of books she could read, and some hero memorabilia for people like…All Might…
But also Endeavor, Jeanist, Ryukyu, Ms. Joke, Ingenium, and Hawks; that last one was mainly just a bright red feather she'd found once, but it still reminded her of the free-spirited number 3 hero.
In her little space, she could have her lunch in peace; it was solitude, but it didn't hurt her. It didn't judge her, it didn't make her feel smaller than she already was.
When the final bell rang, her dash didn't work. As if…no, because he'd been expecting it after lunch, Kacchan had stood from his desk even as the teacher continued to talk. Izuku looked towards the man, pleading for help, for him to do something, but he just glanced up, saw the problem brewing—
And decided she wasn't worth scolding Kacchan for. So, she just sat there, her head lowered like she was about to face the firing squad, not helped by how others snickered at her situation.
When the bell rang, the teacher assigned homework and left without so much as a second glance. The rest followed suit after Kacchan sent a mean glare their way, leaving just the two of them. For a moment, she thought maybe…this wouldn't be what she feared, maybe it was just him checking on her, or perhaps trying to repair the bond they—
"Deku," That nickname, that insult he'd coined when they were kids, spoken with such restrained anger, silenced whatever small hopes she might have had in this being anything more than the norm.
Glancing up, she shrank in on herself as she spotted his sneer and furious red eyes. Eyes that only grew more intense as if insulted that she would dare look at him.
"What the hell was that?" Bakugo demanded.
"W-what was, what, Kacchan?" Midoriya looked away, only for Bakugo to slam his hands on her desk, letting loose an explosion that sent her falling back with a scream.
"Don't play dumb with me!" He barked, his temper already flared after the previous day's incident, the humiliation of being captured, and worst of all, of seeing Deku, of all people, rushing in to help him.
He wanted answers, and this time, she wouldn't be allowed to just run off. "What the hell made you try to help me when I didn't need it? Why would I ever need help from you?!"
Midoriya whimpered, actually whimpered under his wrath's weight, the girl looking like she wanted to crawl away as she kept her gaze to the floor, not even to his shoes. "I…I don't know…I just did it."
Bakugo didn't buy it, not that she thought he would. "You just did it? You think I'll buy some crap like that? If you're gonna lie, at least make it halfway good." He loomed closer, grabbing her head and pressing it to the ground.
She winced, but didn't try to fight back, knowing even without his quirk, he could easily handle her. "It's the truth…I didn't think, I just…I just saw you in danger and went to help, I didn't think about it, my body just…moved on its own." She answered the best she could. It was what she told her mother; it was the truth as much as she understood it.
She couldn’t have seen how that response impacted Bakugo. She only felt his grip on her head weaken, but missed how his face froze, memories of a past he did his best to forget bursting to the surface.
'Are you all right? Are you hurt?' A younger, purer yet so familiar voice called out to him, a different time, different circumstances, yet it was also the same. The meek and scrawny giving aid to the strong and bold…because they believed the strong needed it.
With that, his rage reached new heights. How…how dare she think it was like that again? He didn't need her help then, and he damn well didn't need it now!
"Oh, you must be so full of it, aren't you!?" Bakugo's quirk nearly activated, but it was close, and Deku seemed to realize this as she shook under his grip, terrified that he would do something extreme like blow her head off, her fear, her assumption he would do something like that only enraged him more. "You think your weak ass could help me? That you can look down on me, is that it?!"
"N-no! It's not that, it's not, I swear!" She didn't so much yell as she squeaked, Bakugo hearing how she was already crying, as was normal for a weakling like her.
"Oh, you're just acting like you can stand in the ring with me? Get real, you're not even as worthy as the other extras, they got quirks, and you got nothing!" Bakugo demanded, as he hated it. He hated how she could act so—
"You're right." The thought was iced at Deku's response. It…it wasn't what he expected from her.
"What?" Bakugo paused, wondering if he had heard it wrong. In all their years, all the times he's pushed her away, bullied her, and told her to quit, she'd never done it. She was meek, she was weak, she was quiet, she was all the things he wasn't, but if they shared one thing, it was the same dream, much to his annoyance.
At least, that used to be the case.
"You're right, Kacchan…you've always been right. I can't be a hero, I can't do it…" Izuku whispered, but it was well and clear as he stilled. Those were words he had tried to get out of her, and he believed she truly meant them.
But now that he heard them…he still wasn't satisfied. Where was it? Where was that stubbornness? What? Was trying and failing to save him that broke the damned camel's back? Why didn't he like it?
He didn't question those questions or try to unpack the feelings this mess stirred up in him. He chose the familiar, the well-trodden.
Bakugo let out a mocking laugh, his grip tightening on her head as he ground it into the floor, yet even as he acted, he didn't feel the satisfaction. Still, she didn't need to know that.
"It's about damn time, you useless nerd! So you're not gonna ruin my perfect origin story by applying to U.A.?" He asked, leaning forward in a way that she could feel without needing to look.
"I won't apply…" She whispered, crying as the words felt like the final nail in the coffin of her once cherished dreams, but…but it was just what being realistic meant, right?
Again, seeing her so…so resigned to being an extra like he'd always said she was meant to be didn't spark any joy in Bakugo. If anything, it twisted something in his gut. As if something had been lost and part of him knew it.
He ignored that sensation and, without another word, left the Deku to cry like she always did. He'll need to get used to not hearing it come spring.
He couldn't have known that Izuku wouldn't leave their class for a while, or that she wouldn't arrive home till she was 2 hours late and would shamble to her room like a zombie, doing her best not to look at any of her stuff lest she start crying again as she slithered into the blankets and buried her head into her pillow, all the while not making a sound.