Chapter Text
"Red, talk to me man, I am worried about you. Come.on man-" Dick began, but Tim did not have the energy to hide his anger, he didn't have the patience to let Dick speak either.
"NOW YOU ARE WORRIED? NOW, THAT YOU'VE SEEN SOME FUCKASS SCARS ON MY WRIST? NOW ,THAT THE DAMAGE IS ALREADY DONE? DICK I COULDN'T CARE ABOUT YOUR WORRY NOW, EVEN IF I TRIED. TELL ME WING, WERE YOU WORRIED WHEN YOU FUCKED OFF TO BLUDHAVEN WHEN YOU KNEW BRUCE WAS BEING SHITTY? WERE YOU WORRIED WHEN DEMON BRAT TRIED TO KILL ME? WERE YOU? OR WERE YOU TOO BUSY BELIEVING THAT LIFE WAS EASY FOR ME?" Tim yelled out. He hadn't realised that he was crying until he felt tears slide down his cheeks.
Suddenly he felt all the fight he had in himself crumble, "Where were you Dick? When I needed my elder brother? I had just lost everything, all I had was my elder brother and then I didn't have him either. Because you were too busy being a brother to Jason and Damian. I know, I know that they went through a lot of trauma and their emotional status was more volatile- God I am going to hate myself for even thinking this, I know you were grieving too but that doesn't mean that you'll fucking threaten a sixteen year old with Arkham. Man, that was fucked up. And now," Tim's voice cracked, "Now when I know where I belong, that's when you worry?"
Tim just knew from the way Dick was looking at him that he wanted to hug him, but a hug was not the solution. Tim was pretty sure there was no solution to how damaged he was. Even if Dick tried, Tim wouldn't let the hug happen. Dick might not be the 'World's Best Detective' but he could deduce this.
"Tim, believe me, please, I am so so sorry-"
Tim fell to his knees, "It's not about making you feel guilty, Wing. It's about the fact that you lost your right to worry about me when you ensured that I had no one to go to when B was dead. It's about the fact that I am not needed anymore, so stop worrying. Fuck, it's about the fact that I don't need saving Dick because I am done. I have been done with this shit for a long time. God, this wouldn't have even happened if you had just let me fall that day WHEN Ra's threw me out of that window. Everyone would've been happy."
Dick looked positively heartbroken. Like if someone put their hands inside his chest and took his heart out, it would hurt less than Tim's words. The thing is, Tim knew Dick was just that type of guy, the one that cares too much but ends up getting blamed anyway. But Dick cares about Tim like he cared about the general public, sure he wanted them to live and would end up blaming himself forever but he wouldn't ever love them. Tim was just one of the 'thems' or so he believed.
"Baby Bird, what do you mean by that?" Dick sounded as sad as the day when they found out B had died. 'Am I dead yet? Maybe soon...' Tim thought to himself.
"Oh you know what I mean." Tim answered as he sobbed on the ground. Dick was next to him within seconds, he was about to kneel down when Tim stopped him midway, "Don't kneel," he said between sobs, "I know you bruised you knees yesterday, even if you didn't tell Al about it."
"How- no, not the time." Dick said as he started to kneel down anyway.
It made Tim more anxious. He was the reason why Dick was risking a serious injury. He deserves to go to hell. Dick shouldn't suffer because Tim is an ungrateful little bitch. Suddenly, Tim stood up, mid panic. While Dick was still halfway through kneeling.
Then he ran. He took out his grapple and jumped into he night. "TIM!" Dick has shouted after him, but Tim was already gone. He couldn't stay with Dick or he would cause more problems for them. He went straight to the Nest.
He changed out of his uniform and went straight to the kitchen, took out the sleeping pills that he definately didn't have a prescription for. He sat at the kitchen table and just looked at them. He stared at the bottle in his hand. He wasn't going to do this messily. God knows he has created enough messes already. He opened his laptop and transferred all the evidence to the cases he was working on to the batcomputer. 'Babs would notice, but she should be asleep by now anyways.' Tim thought to himself. She wouldn't notice until it was already done.
As soon as he started to wrap up his affairs at WE he heard banging on his door. He didn't get up from his chair, if someone is at his door in the middle of the night, it's either a robber or a bat themed vigilante. He didn't want to deal with either one of them right now. More banging followed, which Tim gracefully ignored.
"Timbo, if you don't open up right now, I'll guess the password and if it's wrong I'll probably get blown up by your security system because you are more paranoid than fucking Batman. And thats sayings something, ''cus that man invented paranoia." Jason or rather Hood's voice came through the door.
Tim, again, ignored it, because Hood wouldn't be able to guess his password and his security system was advanced enough to not blow up people whose DNA Tim had embedded in it.
"Playing hard to get, I see Timberlina."
The next thing Tim heard was the click of the door being unlocked.
Jason had guessed his password.
Tim stared at Jason in horror as he entered Tim's house in full Red Hood regalia, yeah he was definately getting flashbacks from Titans Tower.
"Not a word about the password to anyone or even your body won't be found." Tim warned him.
Jason raised his hands in a mock-surrender. "Not that I was planning to tell anyone but I think Alfred would be very happy to know that you set his birthday as the password for your door. You might even get an extra cookies out of it."
Tim groaned, he just wanted to die in peace. "How do you even know his birthday? He doesn't even tell anyone." Jason asked him.
"I figured it out. The same way I figured out your identity, and Dick's and Bruce's" Tim replied.
"So you stalked him. Figures."
"Why are you here again?" Tim asked Jason, finally looking at him.
Jason took off his helmet and mask and sat down on the chair opposite to his on the coffee table.
"Look man, whatever you said to Dickhead really got to him. He hadn't stopped crying since he got back from his conversation with you and then Babs apparently got the evidence to all your cases? What even happened dude? Are you going to quite being Red Robin? Is that why Dick was crying?" Jason finally looked at Tim. Looked at him properly, since he had entered the apartment.
Tim grimaced at the mention of Dick's name. "Look, Dick and I just got into a very heated discussion. Trust me, I'll fix it. I am working on it right now. Don't worry, I am not quitting from RR." Tim replied. He decided, rather than lying he could tread in half truths.
"Whatever you are gonna do, do it fast, 'cus Dick is very sad. I might pretend I hate the bastard but I don't like to see him like this. Is this related to one of your cases? Is that why you send the files to Babs?" Jason asked. He suddenly got side tracked after remembering what Babs had told him.
"Why is she even awake right now? Wasn't she supposed to be in bed according to Alfred's orders?" Tim tried to deflect.
"Replacement, stop deflecting." Jason snapped. He stood up fast and moved to stand behind Tim. He took away Tim's laptop before Tim even had a chance to react. "Dude, are you seriously working right now? Didn't you say that you were going to make things- Wait a damn minute." Jason stopped himself. Tim took the moment to snatch away his laptop.
Jason looked at him and then past him. His eyes were on the bottle of sleeping pills that were placed on the kitchen table. Then his eyes went distant, as if he was calculating a something. He looked at Tim again, specifically at Tim's long sleeved shirt. Jason's eyes went green.
Tim just wanted to die peacefully. On his own accord. Now Jason was going to kill him and it was going to hurt.
Very gently, Jason took his hand and pushed the sleeve up, only to find straight lines of scars. So, many of them. Some red and angry and some old, faded and pathetic.
Tim hated himself from having gone limp. He didn't wanna live anymore, maybe he'll die painfully but at least it will be over.
Jason just stared. Just as frozen as Tim felt. "Tim what were you going to do to fix everything?" Jason asked. Keeping his voice as gentle as possible.
"I think you know, Todd." Robin said. Apparently, even Damian had figured out his password and Alfred's birthday. Was Tim really that predictable?