Chapter Text
who ate my fucking pregame snack again
there was a protein box with my name on it
Harris
it was probably Chiron
that dog has expensive taste now
Troy
Chiron can’t open the fridge
yet
Wyatt
Ilya you literally leave your shit everywhere
last week your socks were in the showers
those were lucky socks
i scored twice after wearing them
Bood
you score twice even when you wear dirty jockstraps captain
don’t blame the socks
respect your captain
Troy
you sent a meme of a raccoon stealing food at 2am last night
that’s not captain behavior
Harris
speaking of captain behavior
can we talk about Ilya and Shane basically eyefucking each other on the ice last game
the way you two were staring at each other during warmups was insane
it’s called hockey
Wyatt
it’s called foreplay
blocked
Dykstra
someone post the clip where Ilya almost kissed the glass when Shane scored
Harris
already did
it’s on the official account with the caption “Centaurs showing love to our opponents ❤️”
HARRIS DELETE IT
Harris
too late
already at 400k views
Troy
this team is a circus
Bood
a very gay circus
Wyatt
says the guy who cried during team movie night when the dogs got separated
Bood
THEY WERE BROTHERS
IT WAS SAD
anyway
who is bringing snacks for the flight tomorrow
i want the good gummies
Harris
me
but only if you stop calling the group chat “Centaurs Shitpost Central” in public
never
we are centaurs
half man half horse
half idiot
Troy
that’s 150% idiot
Wyatt
math checks out
Dykstra
Harris can you make another edit of us with the centaur logo but our faces on the horse bodies
Harris
already working on it
Ilya gets the biggest horse ass obviously
i have a great ass thank you
Troy
we know
you never shut up about it
Shane likes it
Harris
AND THERE IT IS
the man cannot go 12 hours without mentioning his boyfriend
Wyatt
it’s actually impressive
Bood
goals
i want what they have
you want a secret relationship with your rival for ten years?
Bood
…maybe
Troy
this team needs therapy
Harris
we have Chiron
he’s a therapy dog in training
Chiron is currently asleep on my hoodie in my stall
Harris
he loves you the most
it’s because you’re both half-feral
i’m telling Shane you said that
Harris
he’ll agree
practice at 8am don’t be late losers
Troy
it’s 1am why are you still awake
texting my rival boyfriend goodnight
none of your business
Wyatt
we are begging you to make it our business at this point
goodnight team
love you idiots (except troy)
Troy
fuck you too captain