Chapter Text
Amelia watches it like it's happening in slow motion. The way Toni's face crumples.
The devastation on it steals every word from Amelia's lungs. One second ago Toni had been looking at her like hope and resolution, open and terrified and brave all at once, and now there's only hurt. Sharp, immediate, unmistakable hurt.
Toni takes a small step back, a humorless laugh falling from her lips.
"Wow," she says, her voice breaking like it's reflecting her heart, "I really got this wrong."
"Toni—"
But Toni is already turning, already moving away from her. And for one terrible moment, all Amelia can do is watch her go, rooted to the spot as panic crashes through her.
Then instinct takes over. She stumbles into the hallway barefoot, clutching the lapel of her bathrobe with one hand. The cool air hits her face. Somewhere inside the apartment, someone laughs. Amelia just wants to scream.
"Toni! Wait!"
Toni is already halfway to the elevator, her shoulders rigid beneath her coat. She jabs the button hard enough to make the click echo down the hall.
"Please don't do this."
Toni lets out another short laugh, one that sounds nothing like amusement. "I'm not doing anything, Amelia."
"Yes, you are. You're leaving."
The elevator dings the moment Amelia catches up with her. Facing her again, Toni shakes her head, just once, her eyes shiny but furious. "You've got a half-naked woman in your living room."
"She's not my half-naked woman!"
They stare at each other, breathing hard, until the elevator doors slide open. Neither of them moves. Toni doesn't step inside. Not yet.
"She came home with Lucas," Amelia says quickly. "I swear to God, Toni, I don't even know her name."
Toni folds her arms tightly across herself. "Lucas."
"Yes."
"Your nephew Lucas."
"Yes!"
"The same Lucas who—what did you call it before? Always has disaster attached to him?"
Amelia points emphatically down the hallway, her hand trembling. "Exactly that Lucas."
Something flickers in Toni's expression then. Amelia, catching the smallest hint of relief — or so she hopes — takes a careful step closer.
"I was about to take a shower when I heard voices. I didn't even realize they were there until then. The next moment you were there, and then..." She shakes her head. "I know how it looked, but it's not—"
"Where was he?" Toni asks, the edge in her voice still there, though fading further.
"God knows!" Amelia exclaims. "Changing his sheets before inviting her in? He's twenty-six. And a dude!"
Toni blinks. Then, despite herself, she huffs a tiny laugh. A real one this time.
The sound loosens something in Amelia's chest.
"Please," she says more softly, "don't leave angry. Don't leave at all."
Toni looks at her for a long moment. Amelia can practically see the fight happening behind her eyes - fear versus hope, pride versus want.
"You didn't say anything," Toni speaks at last. "Back there. When I..."
When I told you I chose you. When I confessed falling in love. When I was about to kiss you.
When everything shattered open.
"I know." Amelia swallows hard, Toni's words unspoken in the air. "I was about to."
"But you didn't."
Because she'd frozen.
Not because she didn't want it. God, she wants it so badly it frightens her.
Amelia has stood in operating rooms with people bleeding out beneath her hands and felt steadier than she does right now, in a robe in her very public apartment hallway, with Toni looking at her like this.
This, this has nothing to do with want.
"I got confused," she says slowly. Then she corrects herself, because that's not quite it either. "No, I... filled in the blanks wrong."
Toni watches her, still, attentive now in a different way. The elevator doors close behind them with a muted thud, already forgotten. Amelia exhales, her fingers tightening briefly around the belt of her robe.
"In my head," she says, more thoughtfully, "you came here to tell me it was over."
Suddenly, the hallway feels too bright. The silence that falls between them too loud.
"I mean... all day, every time you said we needed to talk, every time you looked at me like that... I already knew what you were going to say."
Her mouth twists slightly; not into a smile, there's too much regret in it for that. "When you showed up tonight, telling me something else entirely... I didn't expect that."
"I figured that much."
"And when you said you were choosing me..." Amelia's voice catches unexpectedly. She swallows. "Nobody chooses me."
Toni's face changes completely at that, the last bit of hurt replaced instantly by something tender and aching.
"Amelia."
"No, seriously." Amelia shakes her head, the words tumbling out now. "People love me, but eventually they realize I'm too much, or too complicated, or too damaged, and then they leave. Or I leave first because it's easier than waiting for the inevitable disaster. I— I do that, too."
Toni watches her carefully. Amelia clears her throat.
"But then you showed up at my door looking at me like..." she exhales shakily. "Like I was something worth risking everything for."
"You are."
The certainty in Toni's voice nearly unravels her.
Amelia looks down for a second, gathering herself. Her fingers twist tighter in the belt.
"See, this," she says, her voice even more quiet now, "I don't know this. I'm not ready, not prepared for this. I'm just here expecting one thing, and then you say something completely different from what I believed you were going to say, and my brain simply..." A half-chuckle escapes her, shaky. "...short-circuits."
Toni's gaze softens just a fraction.
"You know," she says eventually, "you have an awful habit of jumping to conclusions."
Tilting her head, Amelia lets that sit for a second, then shrugs it off.
"Yeah," she admits, "I know." Yet before Toni can say anything else, her eyes already flick back up to her. "You're one to talk, though."
Toni blinks once. Twice. Then the corner of her mouth twitches.
"Excuse me?"
Amelia gestures faintly between them. "I'm standing barefoot outside my apartment because you caught one glance of another woman—"
"Another naked woman."
"Another half-naked woman," Amelia corrects, laughing under her breath, "but that's not the point. The point is, could you have run any faster?"
She raises her brow, the dimple in her cheek following. That does it.
Toni huffs a quiet laugh, truly this time, shaking her head slightly.
"I did not run," she says, but there's no real defense in it anymore.
"Mm," Amelia hums, "sure."
They share a chuckle, a look - and with it, the tension shifts.
Silence settles between them, warm now instead of sharp. Amelia moves a little closer without really meaning to. Toni does too.
"So?" she asks softly. "You want it?"
Amelia doesn't need to guess, or check, or reassure herself. For once, she knows exactly what Toni's asking. She looks up, their eyes locking immediately.
"Yeah."
"Yeah?"
"Terrifyingly yeah."
Toni laughs under her breath, and this time there's no bitterness in it. Just affection.
Amelia feels herself breathe again for the first time since she opened the door. Without a second thought, she closes the last small bit of distance between them.
Toni already meets her halfway.
Reaching up slowly, her fingers brush Amelia's cheek, impossibly tender. Amelia leans into the touch before she can stop herself, closing her eyes for half a second. The touch feels dangerous, scary in the best possible way.
When she opens them again, Toni is still there. Still looking at her like she's worth staying for.
Their kiss is slower than any before. Unhurried, like neither of them is trying to prove anything anymore. It isn't about lost time or catching up. It settles instead, warm and deliberate, like something that's been allowed to finally happen properly.
Toni's hand comes up again, not urgent, just certain, her fingers resting at Amelia's jaw like she already knows they belong there. As the kiss deepens, Amelia melts into it with a quiet sound she doesn't mean to make.
And she thinks — almost surprised by it — that nothing in her is bracing anymore.
Not for impact.
Not for ending.
Not for what might go wrong if she lets herself want this too much.
She doesn't have to anymore. Toni is here.
And she's here to stay.
... ...