Chapter Text
On January 18, 1985, there was a woman, named Woman, and there
was a man, named Man. They loved each other very much. The happy couple lived on a farm.
The woman really liked apples, she was practically addicted to the fruit! As much as she loved her husband, she adored apples far more. No matter how many apples she ate, she still hungered for them.
“Woman, stop eating so many apples! At this point, you’re gonna have an apple baby!” Man complained. Apples were so expensive if you didn't have the tree!
“Quiet, Man! You aint know a thing bout apples. They’re the best fruit out there.” Woman didn't stop eating her beloved apples, in fact she only ate more in spite of Man. The two argued, and argued, and argued. Despite how much they had loved each other in the past, their marriage was falling apart, because of apples. Like a stale cracker falling apart just because it was opened.
One day, an unexpected turn of events occurred. Woman had a baby, but do not be fooled! This was not just any baby. This newborn looked normal, well, that was till they saw its head. It had the body of a typical infant, and its head was an apple.
“ Hah! I was right! You really were going to have an apple baby!” Man laughed at Woman's predicament, despite being married to her.
“Oh shut it, Man! How will this boy talk, see, hear? Can we even consider this a Boy?” The pair weren't sure. Did this “Boy” even have a brain? Aren't babies supposed to cry? Well apple baby certainly couldn't
“Well what are we supposed to do? This baby isn’t gonna grow up to be anything important.” Man had already given up, what light could this little apple baby bring to the world?
Woman, who still loved apples with her whole heart, refused. Why would she throw an apple away? What if Apple baby still had the potential to do something in life? “No! We will keep this apple! After all, what if it truly can do amazing things?” Woman didn't budge. “ If you throw away this baby, I’ll tell the police about how you stole that cow!”
Man groaned “Fine! Keep the baby! Just don't expect me to love it!” What was there to love about this abomination after all? They finally came to an agreement and kept the baby.
While on their way home, with Apple baby wrapped in a red and yellow towel. “I think we should just call him apple baby for now…” Woman reasoned, there was no real name that fit the child right now. Man couldn’t care less.