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Keith watched his father walk before him in the park, turning his head and smiling down at his son. He returned the smile, beaming up, only to widen his eyes in horror. There was an explosion. He was thrown back and coughed as smoke encased him.
When the smoke cleared, he saw his father's body twisted on the ground, bloody and lifeless. The ground trembled below him and cracked open violently, pulling his father's body in. He watched the body fall into the void, shouting in vain.
As the rumbling intensified, the crack widened and the ground tilted. He attempted to grasp for something as he began sliding towards the fissure, but there was nothing to hold on to. With a pained cry he slipped into the blackness, falling endlessly, until his body slammed onto a surface.
Darkness wrapped around him. Voices in the background cackled horrifically. A giant hand appeared out of the darkness, knobby and taloned, slowly moving towards him. He scrambled backwards, but the hand continued its approach.
He collided with something. A wall? No, too soft. A body! Turning his head, he saw a familiar face smile back at him. The person stepped in front of him, took aim with a gun, and fired at the monstrous hand. Round after round was fired, but the hand did not stop. It took hold of his protector and squeezed until the life left him.
"Lance! No!"
Keith shot up in bed panting and covered in a cold sweat. His fingers clutched at the sheet, knuckles whitened by his intense grip. He had been dreaming the same cruel images for a month now they were starting to impact his sleep.
Normally, he would grab a glass of water and sit at his desk to work on reports, refusing to sleep again. But tonight was different. The pressures of the war, the stresses of being the new team leader of Voltron, and this recent bout of recurring nightmares were taking a toll on his body and psyche. He needed, dare he say it, a comforting touch. And with Shiro gone, there was only one other person that he could go to, but he'd have to be cautious.
He drew in a ragged breath and climbed out of bed, tossing on a pair of sweats. After typing a few commands on his computer to deactivate the hallway cameras, Keith left his room and walked across the hall. His hand hovered over the door's keypad before he opted to knock instead. He waited patiently for the door to open but nothing happened, so he knocked again, slightly louder. After receiving no response again, he dropped his head and sighed, then turned back to his own room. Before he could take his first step, he heard the door finally slide open.
"Keith?" Lance yawned, rubbing his eyes. "Did you need something?"
Keith paused and looked over his shoulder. "It's nothing. I'm sorry to have woken you."
Lance crossed his arms and his brows furrowed beneath the expensive, pore-refining clay mask on his face. "Keith, you look like shit. Get over here."
Keith shrugged and turned back towards Lance's room. "What's going on?" Lance asked, ensuring the door closed after he entered.
The black paladin folded his arms across his chest and stared at the wall. "Really, it's nothing."
"Bullshit," Lance replied. "You wouldn't come knocking on my door at 2 AM if it was nothing."
Keith rubbed the back of his neck until it was red, mumbling something about the Blade and ending the war. Lance rolled his eyes.
"You're always complaining about divisions in the Blade. It hasn't stopped you from sleeping before. What else is going on?"
Keith thought about the pressures he faced from leading Voltron in Shiro's absense, from himself to uphold his oath to Altea and the team, and from his relationship with Lance. The nightmares began about two months after they admitted their feelings for each other.
During a Galra invasion, Lance's lion dodged in front of Keith's and was hit with Quintessence-enhanced laser fire. Though he crashed to the ground, Lance emerged from the cabin virtually unscathed. That night they had their first fight as a couple. Arguing with Lance about his irrational, risk-taking tendencies was nothing new, but this fight was more intense than usual. The thought of losing Lance—the first person he had ever loved—sent him over the edge.
He turned around, his own gray eyes, glassy with unspilled tears, staring into Lance's ocean blue orbs. He couldn't let Lance take any more risks for his sake. Lance pouted when he saw the look of defeat in Keith's face. "You okay, Keith?"
Keith shook his head, finally letting his feelings surface. Lance pulled him against his chest and held him tightly. The new black paladin placed his head on the shoulder of the new red paladin and released a heartbreaking sob.
"Shh…it's okay, babe…I'm here," Lance soothed, rubbing circles on Keith's back.
He continued to softly utter comforting phrases until Keith had calmed enough to talk again. Lance stepped back, holding him at arms' length. "Better now?"
Keith nodded, but Lance felt the stiffness in Keith's shoulders. "Man, you have some tight shoulders. Need a massage?"
Keith nodded again and half smiled. He walked over to the side of the bed and slid down, sitting crossed-legged on the floor. Lance climbed around behind him so Keith was nestled between his legs began working at the knots in Keith's shoulders.
"I had the dream again, Lance," Keith finally admitted.
"The same one again? How long has this been going on now? A couple weeks?"
"About a month," Keith sighed.
"Wow, that long, huh? What do you think's causing them?" Lance inquired.
"I don't know," Keith sighed, combing his fingers through his hair. "The war with the Galra isn't easing up any. They're up to something big, but have yet to discover what. And the pressures from the Blade to work endlessly to uncover it increases daily."
"Kolivan hasn't eased up at all, has he?"
"It's his job to be on alert at all times. But there's only so much I can do while also leading Voltron and the Blade has only so many resources to spare. The castle's starting to run low on supplies, but there's nothing near us to help replenish them. And the princess…I just don't trust Lotor. He's up to something, but Allura is too charmed to see it. And it feels like I'm responsible for it all."
"What are you talking about, Keith? We're an entire team! You always do this—you always take on tasks and responsibilities that can be assigned to the other paladins and Coran. Why do you try to do everything yourself?"
Keith remained silent.
"No," Lance bit out. "You don't get to give me the silent treatment anymore. You agreed not to, remember? So, why do you always try to do everything yourself?"
"Damn, Lance, you know I've been on my own most of my life! After Dad died, yeah, Shiro took me in, but he and Adam were always busy with the Garrison to give me any mind. I've always been alone. I've always had to look after myself, do everything myself. It's not…it's not easy just to let that part of me go. To suddenly trust a bunch of strangers, much less aliens. Hell, to find out I'm half alien. How could you possibly understand?"
Lance's hands dropped from Keith's shoulders. "You're right. How could I know? I've always had family around me. Even when I left for the Garrison, I still had Veronica. So I know that it's easier to work in a team, to split up the tasks so you can focus on one thing and give it your full attention. I mean, you trust me, don't you?"
Keith was silent again. "Don't you?" Lance repeated, more timidly.
"I'm working on it, okay? I do, with a lot of things. But it's just going to take time for me to get there fully."
Keith took one of Lance's hands and placed a soft kiss on it. "But I do love you. And that's why I'm trying to change."
"I know, and I get it. I just wish…" Lance trailed off, but Keith knew what he was going to say. They had been arguing about it for a couple weeks.
"I know, Lance, but we don't know what's acceptable with the Blade and the Alteans. We can't risk the fate of the universe over some petty cultural norms."
"Couldn't we do it in a way they wouldn't have to know? The team would keep things under wraps."
"You really trust Hunk and his big mouth? No. It's too risky. In fact, sometimes I wonder if…" Keith bit his tongue.
"Wonder if what?" Lance prodded.
Keith was silent for a moment. "Nothing," he finally sighed.
"No, not nothing. Wonder if what?" Lance pressed.
"Maybe it would be better if we…if we just moved on." Keith gulped, feeling the lump forming in his throat.
"Keith Kogane, are you breaking up with me?" Lance spat out angrily, pushing Keith away from his bed.
"It would be one less thing for me to stress about. Every time we face an enemy in the lions, I worry about you."
"You're a good commander. You are concerned about all of the team, not to mention all the people of the planets under Galra control."
"I worry about you the most. What if I lost you? Who could I tell how I really felt?"
"You have no faith in my skills, do you?" Lance huffed and pouted, trying to make light of the situation. He became quiet, thinking about what Keith had just told him. "Is that what you really want? After all we've been through together? You just want to call it quits?"
Keith ran his hand through his hair again. "I don't know. Don't you think life would just be easier if we weren't together?"
"No, it wouldn't. You'd still have all the pressures from the war and the Blade and Voltron. You'd still have deep concern for the well-being of everyone but yourself. But you would have no one to hold you on nights like this. You would be miserable."
Keith let Lance's words soak in. He was right. Lance always put their relationship into perspective. Hell, it wasn't the first time Keith had talked to Lance about his doubts, yet they were still together. He wrapped Lance in his arms. "Have I told you how much I love you, Lance?"
"Yeah, but a few more times wouldn't hurt," he smiled.
Keith gave him a little shove but immediately yawned heavily. Lance tugged his hand as his sat on the bed, encouraging Keith to join him. He slid under the covers and opened up the spot next to him, patting the mattress.
"Come on," he commanded.
Keith looked at him quizzically.
"You're sleeping here tonight, Mullet," Lance explained. "Come on."
"I don't know, Lance. This is dangerous. What if someone—"
"You turned off the cameras before you came over?"
Keith nodded.
"Then no one will find out. Now get your ass into bed."
Keith raised an eyebrow. "No funny stuff. We both need the sleep."
"Says the half alien that gets an average of 4 hours a night, even before he left Earth." Lance stiffened and saluted. "Aye-aye, Captain. No funny stuff," he continued, winking.
Keith folded his arms across his chest and glared at Lance.
"I promise," Lance gave in, rolling his eyes.
Keith nodded, but walked over to Lance's computer to turn the cameras back on before anyone in the control room became suspicious. He turned and gazed at Lance, clad only in his boxers and sleeveless undershirt. Damn he was sexy. Keith shook his head to clear his mind. He wasn't sure he could hold out himself.
With another sigh, he climbed in next to Lance and felt a warm arm wrap around him. Keith snuggled closer and tucked the arm under his own, lacing his fingers between Lance's.
For a moment they rested in silence. Keith's brows furrowed as he felt something twitch and poke him from behind. "I thought I told you no funny stuff, Lance."
"I can't help it if I get turned on every time I hold you in bed. At least I haven't acted on it…yet."
"At all," Keith emphasized.
"Okay, okay…at all."
Lance leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Keith's cheek. "Good night, Keith," he whispered.
Keith smiled as he relaxed into Lance's arms. With his mind finally at rest, he drifted off into a peaceful sleep for the first time in a over month.