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Jeonghan hated questions, not generally, but he hated being questioned too much in particular.
He hated being questioned because sometimes, he was asking himself the same question, and he couldn't stand it when people asked him something he was trying to figure out himself. Some people weren't patient enough to wait for the answer. It stressed him to the bone when people acted as if he owed them an answer—and they wouldn't be satisfied until he gave them the answer that they wanted from the beginning. At that point, they were urging him to make a tailored answer for them.
It was one of the reasons why he loved Joshua.
Different from many people he knew, Joshua didn't question him—never more than his liking. The man didn't question people in general, because he believed in knowing less for the better. For the most part, Joshua felt no motivation in sticking his nose into something that wasn't necessarily his business. When it comes to Jeonghan, though, he just knew. He appeared to be spoiled and ignorant at a glance, but he was actually attentive towards his loved ones, Jeonghan in particular. He noticed his change in demeanor, even when the man tried to be subtle about it. This time, Jeonghan failed to hold his smile upward, and Joshua caught the fall.
"You’re in a bad mood," he declared, staring at Jeonghan firmly. They were standing in the living room of Joshua’s two-bedroom apartment. Both were polished in ironed shirts and styled hair. "I’ve been noticing since we got out of the restaurant. I thought you were just tired, but there’s something else*.*"
Joshua had been noticing that after their dinner date earlier. Jeonghan was smiling and giggling during dinner, but his mood shifted when they were about to go home. The air during their car ride felt unusual. The warmth and affectionate air around Joshua contrasted with Jeonghan’s solemn one.
It was that easy for Joshua to read everything. And well, he hated questions, too. He hated having to ask 'are you okay' when he could already tell that Jeonghan wasn't okay.
Because Joshua didn't question him, Jeonghan had no urge to play defense. He just smiled, like a fox getting caught in trees passing, and prepared himself to give in. Jeonghan found it easier to talk sincerely when someone was extorting answers from him. It was twice as easy around Joshua. There was something inside the man that weakened all of his defenses.
"My ex texted me," he confessed cautiously, knowing Joshua could be a jealous menace—not that he complained much about it.
Joshua raised an eyebrow, intrigued by the topic. He was worried before but now his worry turned into curiosity. Both prayed it wouldn't spark jealousy.
"Which ex?" he asked, shifting into his sassy tone. He crossed his arms in front of his chest. "The universiy situationship or the enemies in disguise?"
"Mingyu."
Joshua knew everything about Jeonghan, albeit the man being secretive on a daily basis. That was also the reason why he hated questions. He preferred saving time by telling things in summary form. He didn't tell Joshua what he did day to day. He didn't make a list of what he ate or who he talked to. He didn't reveal his thought processes, but went straight to conclusions. He kept unnecessary thoughts to himself, and it saved them lots of trivial arguments.
As for Joshua, he couldn't bring himself to care too much about someone. Even when it came to Jeonghan, his beloved boyfriend, whom he claimed to love so much. He had no interest in learning what his boyfriend did day to day, and he didn't want to pretend to suddenly care. He had no comments about his business project, his daily tasks, or his presentation. He didn't get a boyfriend to take part in carrying his burdens. He didn't get a boyfriend to get stressed. Just because they were dating, it would mean he had to stick his nose in every business. Therefore, he made things simple between them. For Joshua, as long as he knew where Jeonghan was and as long as he was there to love him, it was enough. And Jeonghan appreciated that. He appreciated Joshua, who left a part of his personal bubble untouched.
However, of course, they still build their relationship upon honesty and sincerity. Just like how Joshua never hid the fact that he got a boyfriend to get spoiled, Jeonghan never hid the fact that he had failed two relationships before.
One was with Seungkwan, a junior with whom he shared an apartment during university. There was never a proper label declared between them, despite the obvious exchange of affection. There wasn't a particular issue that led them to their breakup—if they could call it one—aside from the fact that Jeonghan chose his career immediately after he graduated, never sparing a second thought to stay for Seungkwan. They let go of each other involuntarily, but peacefully.
The second one was with Mingyu, and it was when everything got messy. They were, like many other divorced couples, compatible like a car and gasoline. Mingyu was an ambitious, yet free-spirited individual who lived his life passionately. It was exciting, at first—starting a new life in a new city with a new lover. Jeonghan thought he was the kind of partner that he needed; someone who could fuel his ambitions. Someone to walk and climb with. It turned out that things were messier than he thought.
They clashed and argued a lot that he lost count of it. Mingyu was someone with high curiosity and a deep interest in the people around him, especially someone he loved. He wanted to be involved in Jeonghan’s life as much as he could. On the contrary, Jeonghan hated it when someone pushed themselves within his boundaries, even if it was with good intentions. In his defense, he was figuring out everything—his life, his career, his future—and it was something he needed to do by himself. However, Mingyu's presence hit too close to his nerves. Always asking questions. Always directing him. Always telling him what he thought was best.
They weren’t car and gasoline—they were fire and gasoline. Jeonghan remembered a major point that Mingyu made during their biggest argument.
"You don't want a partner who would walk together with you—to share your life with. You just want someone you can come to when things get easy and you're feeling like giving affection. Someone that would wait up on you—like a pet."
"What did he say?" Joshua asked, pulling Jeonghan’s thoughts back to the present.
Joshua still had his arms crossed in front of his chest. His index finger was tapping his forearm impatiently. It was subtle, but he could feel his jealousy kicking in. It might be annoyance rather than jealousy, though. Despite not knowing the full story—and having no plan in digging about it—he subconsciously held a grudge towards Mingyu for all of the hurtful things he could've done to Jeonghan.
"Proving his points," Jeonghan answered briefly, not feeling the need to let Joshua know the full conversation, considering he was the subject of it. He doubted Joshua would want to know about it anyway. "Things exes said."
Joshua didn't ask further. His annoyance disappeared as fast as it emerged. He nodded briefly and walked to the pantry of his apartment. Jeonghan watched from across the counter as he opened the cupboards.
"I’ll make tea," Joshua announced, taking two ceramic cups from the cupboards. Then, he walked to his tea cabinets—where he stored his expensive, ceremonial teas, whose names never registered inside Jeonghan’s memory.
"I’m not a fan of tea,” Jeonghan said in a joking manner. "I don’t understand anything about tea either."
"No objection," Joshua replied firmly, shooting a glare as he put the cups down. "I’ve told you many times, tea helps to reduce stress."
In the next few minutes, Joshua was busy preparing tea—which was always a touching scene for Jeonghan, considering the effort he put. He poured the freshly brewed tea into the cups delicately as Jeonghan watched attentively. He couldn't care less about the tea ceremony—and he didn't even believe in the magic of tea—but he could watch Joshua preparing it for hours if he needed to. It relieved his tensed muscles and brought him to a state of relaxation—Joshua, not the tea.
Jeonghan always had many things to complain about and many more things to be stressed about. Too much paperwork on his table. Too many tabs opened on his computer. Too many calls going on—and waiting in. Too many meetings and presentations. Too many distress caught within the net of his nerves. Then, there was Joshua. His presence engulfed him warmly, like how the steam from the tea greeted his face. Jeonghan brought the cup to his lips, sipping the tea. He was unsure of the taste of it, but he was sure about Joshua.
At the end of any day, it was Joshua that he wanted to see.
"So relaxing, isn’t it?" Joshua asked with a delighted smile, satisfied with the tea. Jeonghan nodded.
They enjoyed the tea for another fifteen minutes before Jeonghan brought the topic back.
"About Mingyu—"
“I don’t care," Joshua cut him off. "I don't want to care about what he says or what he does. He might be your past, but a stranger to me. So, I don't really care. As long as you love me."
As long as you love me
It was always that easy with Joshua.
"Well, I got jealous a little, but then remembered that you guys aren’t even on good terms*,*" he added quickly. "So, at the end of the day, it's as long as you love me."
Jeonghan smiled fondly. He put his teacup down before rising to his feet. He walked to where Joshua stood and pulled him into a hug. Joshua didn't put a single resistance and accepted the hug gladly. They rested their head on each other's shoulders comfortably.
"Thank you for making it easy for me," Jeonghan said softly to his ears.
"Is it really easy, though?" Joshua mumbled. "Kemarin kita hampir ribut gara-gara bahas trip."
Jeonghan thought Joshua was the best partner he ever had. However, Joshua was just as imperfect as the others. Their relationship wasn't as peaceful as it seemed. They argued a lot as well. What made it different was that Jeonghan always surrendered easily.
"Hm, but we’re not fighting right now."